Christmas shopping with the Whites

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two seconds in my dad basically was like ok gotta buy stuff in secret so we split up and went our separate ways. as if! you don’t want me bossing you around anymore rattling on like a neurotic bitch? coulda fooled me.

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giddy-uppa. had to have it. completely stressed to the max it only sunk in on the way to the mall that xmas is next weekend. no biggie right it’s only like the equivalent of every single person you know’s birthday all on the same fucking day, some before that cos you don’t see them all at once. iiiintense. to cope with this stress bomb (i am severely high strung) i blow a good two to three hundred dollars on myself on outfits i plan to wear around the holiday time whilst stress drinking through all the money i’ll be spending at various holiday parties. i’ll get everyone’s presents on a last minute gift card buying frenzy.

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if you wear a dress like this you can keep it together more, mentally, i feel. especially at the apex of the party you’re hosting when you sit in something red and saucy or more realistically, a drunkard will slosh you in red wine and you’ll be very understanding about it but no, fuck that, this year, you spill on me and princess street is sending a maw’fuck’n dry cleaning bill courtesy of paying me right there on the fucking spot.

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bought one for my ma and i. this will end in three various ways. we should vote. 1. i keep them both for myself. 2. i give one to her and to someone else (the wiser choice) 3. i keep one for me and give one to my mom. i couldn’t help it. the display seduced me so much. i took many pictures. i wondered why no one stopped me i could be a competing store’s sleuth. meh.

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i just love it. i have so many new tights to wear all winter long it’s skirts dresses tights. i’m making up for lost slob times. next goal is to tackle heels.

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this guy too. i also bought a delicate cardi printed in army camouflage quite the juxtaposition. like skulls on high end sweaters and total square rich girls. funny.

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put on too much red wiped off but more or less bought the same shade cheaper. and gloss.

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alarm red. rimmel. sale.

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peachy pink. have adorable ensemble mapped out. raymi’s guide to heartbreaker.

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oh yes. burlington, take a bow. it’s an homage to his dead son. motorcycle accident. there’s a harley light too with the son’s name. nothing like the grief of a parent.

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the packaging. i am on a huge perfume kick. i go through bottles quickly. one of raymi’s snake charming tricks.

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my lunch. no butter or mayo. i’m being strict. i have to be fit for NYE in montreal. i’m going to be a fuckin’ lightning bolt come then. i am stressed out of my mind right now after this post i am going to assault the exercise bike in the basement until my zune dies. like, an hour at least.

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um that duck has seen better days.

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yikes, yesterday. i was pretty sick yesterday. i think it turned into an infection, briefly. but now it thankfully seems to be lifting i didn’t expect it to come and overtake me yet again i have this thing where i think i am invincible.

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aw little buddy is feeling the tree.

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oh yes. top plaid pants you lumberjacks.

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grandpa’s mug.

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then i played hacky sack.

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and stood around with my hands in my pockets some.

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my dad made that in preschool he tells me every year. excuse me while i call the burlington news and inform them of a feat of such magnitude.

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i bought that. it’s on a tiny silver hanger. adorable.

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talkin to my bro on my inq phone.

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this outfit isn’t as seinfeldy. lookin good pops.

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friday night.

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delicious.

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being fascinated by someone i’ve studied for twenty seven years, that being my dad, i wonder what went through his head when he settled on finlandia vodka for me. how bold! he’s a coors light guy, total routine, and has a daughter like me where the more out there, the better. i wonder who he thinks he is impressing here, himself or me. i could actually just turn to him and ask right now but i think it’s funnier if he just reads it here then emails me about it.

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yeah. i gave him like three seconds notice i was coming by. i think he went grocery shopping at a gas station. or pharmacy. we stopped at shoppers when he grabbed me from the station. they don’t sell salads there.

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so i had this weird steamery bowl type thing. ahh gimmicks.

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did show this picture yet? i forget.

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this perfect family stressed me out. also my niece looks exactly like that. she is perfect.

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magic. redd is the best. if you go this week and say raymi sent you you’ll get a huge hook up.

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my hair is very delicate and well, precious? yes. totally. if i let you paw at it it’s something special. hehheh. i bought a new headband today for 2 dollars from h&m. i’m telling you i went crazy in that mall i have spending money adrenaline. i’m fine it’s fine everything’s fine haha. everything i buy for myself is an investment anyway and a tool. there.

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oh tony i want to squeeze you until you burst. such a cute man and mouthy, good mouthy, very smart.

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i began our meeting with a little speech haha yes i make speeches now that’s what i do. i tried to do one at my melucas stewart INQNYE meeting i think it’s comedic to be a pisstank faux self congratulatory scholar dickhead thanking the moon and the stars and the dark leather hardcover books in your posh home den library and thank people for stuff which essentially forces them into a thanking you right back corner. that or i am totally losing my mind right now and that is a picture of my vodka fresh oj and it was delicious. hair of the dog section on the menu fyi at boom. very smart guy, that tony.

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my colleague and i sometimes secretly share a cookie prior to my motion room workouts and then when we do food-related business, he orders shit like this. that sausage has been positively violated.

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at least it’s salmon not peameal. i didn’t eat many of the potato wedges. maybe they’ll make a raymi menu.

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made myself my own double americano poured into my empty starbucks americano cup i showed up there with and that lady’s head did a 360 degree rotation when i marched behind the bar there without prior consent or warning. tony said i’m just like all the self entitled uh i have to start censoring myself heheh it’s not bad just, unfortunately i have a big mouth.

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everything’s cool ma’am, i’m a professional.

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check that eye contact. a showdown.

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i warmed her heart.

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and poured cognac into my americano to irish that shit up. i poured too much. by the time we left i was buzzed and said to everyone sitting down, guys, i am drunk. ahahahahha. it was friday. i work very hard. zzzzz.

ok exercise bike time to pedal out those demons i bought a red hoodie too i love it, fave colour and i look like the ET kid on the cover and am about to recreate that shit down in the basement why it never occurred to me to drag that bike out before here makes me feel pretty stupid about now but anyway let me tell you what else i bought today. um, a dvd of In Bruges. dad’s never seen it we’re going to watch it after i bike.