i walked around this store for an hour yesterday after being on a crowded fucking subway i found maybe 15 things for various people and a few things for me cos the only way i can deal with being out in public is dropping disgusting amounts of money on myself anyway after about an hour like i said i go to check-out and there are 40 people in line and growing fast around me i mean right before my eyes so i went to most of the tables and put all my shit back in the right places more or less and left in a very bitter frazzled mood.

do you know how irritating it is to walk around picking up items for the people you love and thinking about them very carefully each and every one of them, it takes up a lot of brain energy and then after an hour of walking around sweating in your jacket and your arm is numb from holding everything and your purse you go to pay and all that careful selecting was nothing but a huge waste.

so i went to the mall and walked around in a huge daze being bumped by everyone and their aunt and people having yelling conversations all around me i am never going back to the eaton centre around the holidays again and this time i fucking MEAN IT.

i went to le chateau and bought a sweater a hat some tights and socks and 120 dollars later i have ME totally covered and everyone else, i have not purchased one thing, for anyone, other than myself.

so i went to indigo and covered the rest of fil’s gift and waited in a line with 50 other people, but it moved quickly, and this dude behind me talked really loud about all sorts of stupid boring dumb shit and it forced me to grab jt’s futuresex/lovesounds and a bottle of water and drank it immediately.

oh my shin started hurting quite a bit, shin splints? anyway i felt old and lazy and ugly and crabby so i left the mall, went straight to a bar and played megatouch and drank 5 coronas and a shot of fireball, fil met up with me.

i use to love holiday shopping now i want to be catapulted into the sun THE FUCKING SUN YES!

i will buy everyone else their little trinket bullshits on friday and they will be nowhere near as cool as they would’ve been if i had sucked it up and waited in line for an hour. oh well.