I AM THE MAGICAL BAR FLY FAIRY DOING DANCES AND CASTING SPELLS OF DELICIOUS BEVERAGES AND PRAIRIE FIRE BLACK-OUT SHOTS AND FOODSTUFFS OF CHICKEN SALAD SAMMICHES AND PAKORAS AT 230AM HOCUS POCUS POOOOF.
OH WAIT WHAT HO HO LOOK NOW I HAVE CASTED A MYSTICAL SPELL OF HAPPINESS UPON THIS LITTLE FOREST SPRITE BEHOLD ITS IMMEDIATE EFFECT DO NOT MISTRUST MY SPELL CASTING CAPABILITIES FOR YE MAY FIND YESELF TOUCHED BY THE BAR FLY FAIRY IN THE VERY NEAR FUTURE TOO HIC.
yes that is yet another birthday gift i got fil to open i am really bad at surprises though i’m adding another gift to the pot. last minute i was not really keen on going to see magneta lane just cos and fil got sad so i said ok i will go on one condition and it is that you have to open a present from me AND i am not paying for any of the cabs ok that’s two conditions but fil was too blinded by the t-shirt to realise. i bet if he weighed 350lbs and wore that t-shirt he would be a vice do.
THIS IS WHAT AFTER A PRAIRIE FIRE SHOT LOOKS LIKE RIGHT AFTER I DECIDED TO NOT BARF IT ALL OVER THE FLOOR WHY AM I YELLING?!
earlier that nite we hit up a birthday party in the burbs and fil turns into creep0 2006 ew there was a dead moth larvae on that pom pom on the santa hat and he left it there i fucking hate that rock and roll santa and i hate even more that fil felt obliged to BE HIM.
that’s alex he was pouring me tumblers of red wine all nite then made me a tipsy eggnog and chris his cousin was wearing my bling necklace and being all wanksta so i said um where is your gun and he said in my sleeve and i said YEAH YOUR OLD NAVY SLEEVE? ahahahahaa sigh.
that’s sheri we were having microphone wars what else is new she has pretty hair.
right cos the first thing that comes to mind during the holidays is ROCK AND ROLL.
what’s up dood? nothin’, juss’chillin.
i <3 tarley cos he parted the red sea get it? moses beard joke? laughing? whatever.
alex looks baked all the time, doesn’t smoke weed though. interesting.
eggnog party of 1
they always get huge pregnant-looking trees like this i like dems
fil says this looks like a bong i say how does fil know what a bong looks like?
i told fil not too long ago that i wanted to make a wreath and he was like oh no NO WAY and i was like dude you are just jealous of my potential wreath-making skills and how i will sky-rocket to fame because of them so you tell me “it’s a stupid idea” to belittle me out of following my wreath-making dreams. dick. i was merely trying to explain how wreaths are total cash cows and mostly an un-tapped area and i could be really rich but he just talked over me anyway guys are stupid this is how i will get disgustingly rich someday just wait and see oh yes. people are lazy and stupid and will pay a lot for a fancy looking wreath that i made from forest garbage hello, martha stewart!?
would you buy a wreath from me? i would.
