Bang bang, I shot you down. Bang bang, you hit the ground.

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this is how i celebrated may 2-4 weekend. i couldn’t write about it at the time because of political reasons. political the bar i used to work at reasons and vacationing with a regular customer reasons. ha. here i am shooting a bb gun. i am hot like that. americans, you can learn all about may 2-4 here. essentially it is a statutory holiday that gets tacked on to the end of a weekend where canadians get wicked fucking drunk and set shit on fire, shoot fire rockets into the sky (fireworks) and pretty much stay drunk for 72 hours at cottages near lakes anything country or rural or northern. it’s how we kick off summer, yet, in spring, and you are basically a failure if you’re left in the city for it. people who do not go way for may 2-4 will let you know all about their disdain for you if you got away and they didn’t. like people you work with. like people you work with and you took off when you only work once a week and that job’s their livelihood and you are a self-entitled dickhead. in all fairness though i didn’t know there was custie beef until after the fact. whoops.

i got better at this.

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my hair is brassier here.

the night prior. those sandals bit the dust thanks to griffon stepping on to the back of one while we were all stumbling obliterated disasters back to the compound as the sun was coming up. sketchy. i bought those sandals on the friday and they lasted til sunday when the sun was coming up. horrorshow.

ok roll it out picture time style now.

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that’s griff. he’s kind of fucking awesome and kind of an intolerable smug bastard. which is a recipe for attraction and is somewhat intoxicating. not everyone will drink that drink but the ones that do, well, you know how it goes. shit show partier too. game on.

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he brought these.

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and this.

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wow i look scary. roots and brass. may two four gives you license to be a skid all weekend long.

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this weekend was an amazing time.

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it was another planet entirely. i dug it.

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gumdropland.

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oh i just remembered this one couple that showed up and the guy was a total sexist sexist fucking asshole euro arrogant big mouth yet looked like letch (you can’t be like that unless you are beautiful). i can’t for the life of me understand these people. are you real dude? i flip-flopped between total shock and awe to disgust and bafflement. in the end it was hilariousness as we were rolling around on the ground around the fire in a field totally mashed and he was calling us witches and “that’s witch talk” abahahahaahaahaah and then all the dudes became witches too and we were cackling hysterically like witches oh it was fucking hysterical my mouth hurts right now remembering it.

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um, wow. i like to keep it b girl chav, aight. i like bbq duty. almost as much as passive aggressive dish washing.

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yum.

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this is about the time i realized i was eating my feelngs in sugar form and bodies don’t stay skinny if you do this.

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my hair is caught in the zipper.

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i am martin short in pure luck. if you ever want anything to do with me you should rent that movie for us to watch together. it makes me crave fried eggs. there’s a scene involving fried eggs. this post is very escapist eh.

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bugs everywhere.

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griff was warned about me from a couple girls who read my blog. be careful, she might write about you. so then i never did. all girls who read my blog who know a guy who may or may not become my next kill blow it for me ever writing about that guy. i heard that one guy got his teeth whitened specifically for my blog. incredible. i never wrote about him because all the chicks at his work read this.

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what is this the set of texas chainsaw massacre?

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awesome.

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in the day time it looked like this.

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hairy m’f’r.

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we slept in there. claimed it. bunk beds. i am not kissing and telling or anything but at this point we haven’t had relations so it was a dance of wooing me all fucking weekend long. poor bastard. plus all the girls were forced to tolerate me because of this and i could tell they really didn’t want to like me. or liked me. i’m the female equivalent to griff and i think he has pissed every single one of his friends off in this group. amazing group dynamics i was front row center for.

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it was still a great time.

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hangover brunch.

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where was this again? cobourg?

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felt europey. muchly appreciated.

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sight seein’. once we left town and the beach the sun came out. always happens like that eh.

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lets see what this thing is all about.

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it’s it-factor has just increased exponentially.

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hmmm, do i or don’t i….

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who’s got your back rihana? i got your back.

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egypt’s too even. wow, do i ever have hot legs or what.

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so what goes on here? seriously where am i again?

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amazing. what is this amazing place?

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i just speed-read this and nowhere does it tell me where victoria hall is yeah i can just google it but come on like i care enough to do that i prefer smoke signals on twitter or until someone comments here.

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after brunch we were not finished consummation.

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then i attempted a reposado. i was the bartender so i made/concocted many fucking rounds of various insanity ranging from sweet to savoury to gasoline paint thinner fantastical. i am someone you want around at a cottage. fact.

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back to the city.

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aaaaaaaaadorable.

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had a shower and went to sunnyside beach. two more months-ish to go then it’s warm again fingers crossed.

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my room is pretty dreamy. i am going to interview every single person who has hung out in tickle trunk grove, specifically congregating for after hours engagements, and ask them what the allure is for them. there’s a fountain next door and you can hear the trickling water splashes and look up at my glow in the dark starred ceiling with an entire wall of open windows behind you and two more to the side. it is a sanctuary nook.

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why are your dirty hobbit feet on my princess bed?

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i wonder what refreshing drink this could be. we were extremely pickled by this point.

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blackberries and pineapple. little minxologist.

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oh how smug am i. ok i have other shit to do thanks for watching.

BURNOUTINGTON OUT.