She’s a Raymiac

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248455982/in/photostream/

hi guys it’s time for an I AM DOING $!!T SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO blog post and today’s activity is one of my weekly training sessions at The Motion Room. can you believe i get my ass handed to me three times a week? did you know that i am actually more of an animal go-getter than you thought and now i am stronger than you to boot? you must feel really out of shape right now. it’s ok i do too. i think as i get older i am turning into a bloated pillhead (even though i don’t take pills) like how beverly d’angelo’s turned out except premature. if i miss a couple sessions my lifestyle totally lets me pay for it. insert three nights in new orleans missing my friday and monday sessions and also monday of the same week from being deathly sick and now my arms are super chunky.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247851635/in/photostream/

anyway i was really happy to get back in here. i have a new goal in mind to be fit as a fiddle for NYE with a sprinkling of playboy on top for good measure. snap magazine came by to shoot the motion room and used me as a model. they have no idea who i am either. i jokingly said NO FAT ONES OR I’M NOT SIGNING ANYTHING and the guy took a step back and kept directing us how to work out. it was funny. it was also funny wearing those shorts and socks and i wonder if he was hoping to not have my tattoos shown. can’t wait to see it haha.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248456830/in/photostream/

james got a haircut.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247855039/in/photostream/

there is no way i could knee him in the face by this point lifting my knees is a chore and i’m doing it as fast as i can. the guy behind me has been training for years. he’s doing the dog walk or baby crawl it’s tough. try doing that back and forth 3 times.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247856161/in/photostream/

wow gruesome.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248459124/in/photostream/

joseph stepped in and made me do lunges. trainers are perfectionists. just as you are doing the move and wincing through the pain they tell you to re-align your feet then your posture is crap. it’s a constant mind ^#&^. i wonder if it’s an intentional distraction meant to help your focus constantly shift alleviating stress and intimidation from the task. i think i am giving james too much credit hahaha.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247856923/in/photostream/

sometimes i show off my form and pretend that i am not. in my head i’m look who is this graceful statue of perfection? what delicate and casual rhythmic isolations. oh yes ten years of dance has paid off oh what’s that? good form? hmm, barely even noticed. you’re not the only ones who get to mind ^&$%# around here.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247864729/in/photostream/

now this is the money. something like this will be in the paper.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247865091/in/photostream/

today’s (these are wednesday’s) session as i was lifting the ball over my head on the astroturf lying down and totally wavering, james was trying to motivate me and he achieves this with little quips like THIS IS NOT YOUR BLOG. ahahahaahaha then i die laughing and almost brain myself with a ten pound medicine ball.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248468174/in/photostream/

maybe once i am super duper DUPER insanely fit i’ll make a raymi exercise video for lazy at home bloggers. NEXT UP IS HE SOCIAL MEDIA STRETCH! i’ll strike it rich from inventing a form of push up that doesn’t make your carpal tunnel flare up.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248469210/in/photostream/

squats and ball raises. back that ass up. bend with the ass, sit, not with the knees. don’t forget your abs too. SO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT. don’t worry though james will remind you. trust me.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248469566/in/photostream/

i am getting pastier by the second. revolting. i am totally going for a tan tomorrow in burlington.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248470196/in/photostream/

today i sweated so much all the make up came off my face in two places only, the moon beam part beneath each eye. perfect for my eastern euro purple skin right there i looked like i got punched out after a serious vodka bender.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248471654/in/photostream/

no wait i always look like that.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247870305/in/photostream/

trying to puss out on push-ups. i HATE THEM! i DO have carpal tunnel on my left hand.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247871079/in/photostream/

i know i am horrible at them but i do want to get better because i know then i will get ripped. it’s simple. if you can’t do something, learn to do it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247871527/in/photostream/

dying.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247872345/in/photostream/

i don’t give up. maybe one day i will have the upper body strength enough to beat little girls in arm wrestles.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247872731/in/photostream/

there’s astro on my shorts. that’s the plank. it has destroyed my abs since wednesday and reappeared today to delight my pain receptors yet again. i feel torn. that’s a good thing. torn = progress.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247874239/in/photostream/

just think this could be you if you join the motion room.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247874691/in/photostream/

and be humiliated and tortured in front of hot men (and women) and get made fun of for every single bread crumb you leave on your blog.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248477704/in/photostream/

bilaterals?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247876141/in/photostream/

that shirt makes me lumpier looking than i am. you get to psycho-analyze yourself all you want with mirrors surrounding you. my favourite!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248481244/in/photostream/

i definitely have body image issues and guilt so the mirrors help. they do not lie. i see every area that disgusts me and i aim to remedy it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247881481/in/photostream/

in true cabbage patch kid fashion of course. think i’d have a shoe sponsorship by now…

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247888877/

i swear i shaved my pits before i left adventurehouse. it’s all shadows.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248491476/

more plank. i am sweating so much.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248491896/in/photostream/

and dying but enjoying it. funny material comes out of you at these moments.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247891397/in/photostream/

oh my god my beastly arms. can i get an arm liposuction sponsorship? i’m serious. then i’ll pull a legally blond and go on an exercise before/after tour. LOOK AT THE AMAZING RESULTS! i have cankles. ON MY ARMS.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247892373/in/photostream/

angry face.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248496040/in/photostream/

trying to go zen.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247894671/in/photostream/

hulk neck.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247899443/in/photostream/

oh joyous rapture. a guy on my facebook said these work out posts have inspired him to hit the gym. good.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248501518/in/photostream/

this could be youuuuuuuu.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247900073/in/photostream/

can’t wait for minx nails. katy perry here i come.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247900425/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248502486/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247901119/in/photostream/

legit gripping for dear life.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247901835/in/photostream/

this was the best part and james’ secret weapon.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248503970/in/photostream/

finishes you off with an amazing stretch out. people like athletes get this royal treatment or in luxury spas post-massage. incredible. some people actually black out from it too cos they’re not used to the motion of stretching. that’s hilarious to me how out of shape and incredibly lazy does one have to be to not handle someone stretching for you and then you pass out? you’re already on the ground DOING NOTHING! you go limp and james does all the work and it feels fantastic.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248504350/in/photostream/

i asked him if we were going to do the the tractor where i launch him up into the air and boost kick him. we used to do that all the time on the hill as stupid kids. amazed none of us got broken necks. pretty close some days though bahahaha meanwhile everyone is busting up laughing on the sidelines as you fly through the air. you time it so they don’t know when the launch comes. i said i bet i could do it to james. i know he’d fight it though. we’re the same age if you can believe it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248505650/in/photostream/

haha my face how genuine and the guy has the nerve to tell me today that i enjoy abuse look at the look on HIS face.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248506428/in/photostream/

i look like a rag doll. the shorts really set it off too.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248507110/in/photostream/

no happy ending finish though. yet.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247906097/in/photostream/

ok later dude, princess out.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248508542/in/photostream/

another day in the life. call me.