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hey guys. hey hi! HI!!!!

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sometimes you run out of blogging steam. the energy required to conjure the properly adequate commentary about the mundane everyday doesn’t just grow on a magic bush in my backyard. yarn spinning IS work. ten years of yarn spinning work, audience building. i came across a loser messageboard yesterday wherein a few wenches were slagging your hero and the overwhelming conclusion i came away with was, they just do not “get” it. people who come across you only now think you just woke up yesterday and started landing deals, and it’s sooo easy. well, it isn’t.

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all of a sudden now people think they’re experts on cewebrity because there’s more of us popping up. you aren’t an expert on shit actually.

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i just lost the energy and focus on my own rant here, it isn’t constructive anyway. i’m arguing with babies essentially who can’t seem to recognize that i struggle just like they do, that none of this is a fluke, and i set out to do this when i was 17 years old for bloody crying out loud so really, you’re just complaining about a seventeen year old’s wild fantasies that eventually came true for her, after years of suffering abuse from assholes and haters and people calling you crazy for having the audacity to do something different.

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and then there’s the word trainwreck. i’ve been called a trainwreck since i was nineteen. you know, when a trainwreck happens it takes maybe a week to clean it up once forensics is done with the scene. but really now, if i am such a trainwreck how am i able to function on a daily basis? how am i able to write, to work, to go to my appointments and meetings, make deals, party, all that? you guys are shitstains. i put myself together more than you do everyday knowing i will be photographed (whether by self or others) all for the sake of my blog, my art, my business. if i don’t do it nobody will. do you get that? a trainwreck wouldn’t be able to do that, WOULDN’T do that. a trainwreck would be blow hung for days on end while OTHER people are out there achieving.

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it’s just tiresome and disgusting to me the nature of this city (and the internet at large) that the thanks you get for all your hard work is FUCK YOU and KILL YOURSELF. numerous other hurtful things. they don’t even hurt anymore which in and of itself is kinda bad. to be desensitized like that. the bigger you are the less you are supposed to acknowledge these losers but i wasn’t born famous and still consider myself a regular guy so i’m just fascinated by how ignorant our culture is and bored.

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ok ok i’ll stop.

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wooden cutlery. cute. impossible to saw through the bread though. we overcame adversity despite that because we don’t lose. ordered everything off the menu. it was a little menu. one of those spillover joints, local was busy, so we sat at the bar here. rob showed up later fresh off the coat tail of a bender and after one drink he was in heaven.

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i didn’t figure out that hat before i left adventurehouse.

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amazing. this guy probably leads an interesting life.

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darius and rob are going to go on a muff crawl in nyc. they’re the twin towers. rob says women there are just so pleased to see not short guys. he gets all arrogant when he drinks. we are too similar. i was like hey so remember drunk dialing me last nite and telling me to “shake things up” and “i’ve been doing the same for too long now” and “i’m a good writer” he has no recollection of this conversation he was passing my house half passed midnight i wasn’t even home and he was telling me all this irish drunken shit i’m like i KNOW rob thank YOU for the advice. haha.

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biggest olives i’ve ever seen.

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darius overheard people talking about me outside while smoking, not bad things, just that they recogized me and the photo taking was certainly a tip off.

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pin hole makes this look super heinous.

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we drank the entire menu too. it was early. i went to bed early. i like early. i should do that more often.

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it was a sam kinison day.

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i told darius we should go to AA next week then go out drinking afterward. i recognize we are all drunks. holiday season is the worst for this. i am going to give the sauce a break pretty soon.

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we played the insult game using the alphabet taking turns. i started. darius, you are an asshole. raymi, you’re a bitch. yeah well you’re a CUNT. some of these words we had to whisper as they were too prejudice and no i am not typing them here on my politically correct blog.

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we played the game again but this time complimenting one another and rob joined in. it was harder to dole out compliments. insults are so much easier. people don’t compliment each other enough.

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we like this place. we will haunt it some more. i overheard some genuine food players getting really animated about booze or food or something. i liked it.

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mitzi’s is getting a time out from me. i am tired of the disgruntled RUDE middle-aged lesbian server’s attitudes. i’ve dumped half my bank account into that fucking place you think she could smarten the fuck up i mean, DO YOU KNOW I AAAAAAAAM?! hahah. legendary establishment employees, everyone talks about you just as much as you them, don’t think you’re invisible.

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got my roots did yesterday after my session at TMR (abs are so sore) the show must go on even when you’re sick. i had ethiopian food two nites ago and the heat made me think i was cured. it loosened up a lot of phlegm and now i have this painful chest cough and my throat feels as thick as a tree trunk.

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this reminds me of a photograph my new york city ex boyfriend would have sent me of himself in a bar when i was 18 (he was 29) to lure me away after high school and it worked. WE ARE LIVING THE LIFE COME JOIN US. hair was curled then i biked and some of the curls came undone. just as well as i didn’t want to deal with a curly hair sprayed rat’s nest today as i’m going to be ON CAMERA for my next publicity stunt. it is in your best interest to be at BOOM‘s 174 eglinton ave west location today at 1pm if you want to see me have a TRAINWRECK MELTDOWN in the kitchen. i refuse to wear a hairnet. i might wear the dorky baseball hat though and an apron. i love uniforms.

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i’m not contagious anymore so don’t worry though i’m only cooking for my friends so i won’t interfere with the paying customer’s lunch experience. um do you like my victoria secret legs? kate said that on facebook.

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i’ve had this jacket since i was 18. from black market. i fall in and out of love with it. thanks to this photo, out.

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and now it’s off.

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burrrrrrrrrrrata oh god so good. we should have ordered our own.

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rob thinks he is an expert on everything. he told us what his next documentary idea is. good luck buddy hahaha.

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hahah what were the jokes we made about this picture last nite? the drink list wiped my brain memory.

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i look bloated. i think i’m pre-menstrual, i had cramps but today i realise they’re abs cramps from james making me do the plank so much yesterday.

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twin towers. i think after awhile your mojo just dies in your city so you’ve got to go away and spread it around a bit.

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that drink was so good i had it again.

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bad hat hair combo.

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only works if you keep your head like this.

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i really hope they get a lumberjack to chainsaw their charcuterie boards.

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i know a lot of people who went away or are going away somewhere warm and tropical, all-inclusive, wherever and i’d be lying if i said i didn’t want to disembowel them. i have seasonal affective disorder and i feel bound to this getting dark way too early city. true, i lead a charmed life, i get a few days off between 4 things scheduled in a day here and there, i was meant to be a waste of space sloth. my life/job is unconventional and i work very hard to make it appear to be very easy. being a socialite is tiring, partying is a job, and people give you shit about it. also there is a part of you that is hoping you might find THE ONE at one of these events (you never do) so that’s another motivator to keep going. the point is, i have earned a break i feel so, i’m going away tomorrow to new orleans. my summer trip that i was very much looking forward to was canceled and then i filed it into the postponed drawer and then i got very busy. i’m only going for the weekend. i can’t even believe it. i am stressed and feel part crazy but so what that’s how it goes right? my friend is there now and she’s bored. hurricane season ended two days ago. so i have a lot of last minute preparations to sort out, i have to pack, and not overpack for once and i need to vacuum my purse of all ganj remnants and apparently they can fully violate you at security now. wicked.

this is where i will be tomorrow the french quarter!

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i’ll be in that pool.

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in this shotgun house!

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drinking absinthe at my favourite bar.

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freak-spotting.

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the food.

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brangelina’s house.

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palm trees everywhere.

pumped.