ok so my hair use to look like a pagoda and i weighed more.

i drank a lot and often and i figured if i had pagoda-dido hair people wouldn’t notice my fatass face. but then i went to maine for a few months and sat around drinking and eating in the winter until i turned 19 and was like fuck maine, i’m out. no offense, little-town maine, you’re very pretty, however, i was too young to be a depressed and bored canadian little housewife with pagoda hair all the time in your state. i even wrote a letter to oprah about our ridiculous fonebill and asked her to give us money. she didn’t respond. heh.

and this is me a few months after back in canada. i figured if i angled my face differently the fatness of it wouldn’t show. also, pharmaceutical narcotics suppress the appetite. this is one of the shots i used in my slew of ME pictures for the muchmusic vj try-out thing. tyranny was with me that day i tried out and we were doing percs in line and it was like duh, raymi is so not getting this part.

i have never bragged so friggin’ much about being rejected before.

i even have the email they sent and i post it from time-to-time on le blog.

i remember this one lady trying out and she was, older, and i was thinking, she is not going to get this and neither am i so we may as well just go across the street and get shitty right now.

i even took the day off work for it and had to beg to get the day off and my boss was all, you are not going to get this part, why bother trying? and i said screw you i don’t want to work in a hardware store for the rest of my life i am going to be a star! urrrrrrrrg.

i want the demo-reel back because it would be hilarious to watch. it was just an hour of random karaoke bits of me in pubs and then me sitting across the table talking to ward making fun of him.

and by the time i went in for the audition it was hours and hours and hours later and i was zonked and the lady is all so you wanna be a vj? why? why should we pick you?

and i said, uhhhhhh, ‘cos i speak well and i am funny and you can change my look….

something sparky like that.