So cute. Too bad I wimp out on holding them. I don’t enjoy love bites from exotic animals seen?

Adding lots of videos today so keep coming back for more.

The post The Forbidden Zone was once a paradise appeared first on Raymi the Minx.

Hiya internet. Hope you like monkeys and sensible zoo outfits plus my party hat nip-ons (the shade is brrrrr) cos yesterday we went to a zoo that was actually a “park” dedicated to every single monkey species you can think of and the little ones, HUNDREDS of them, walk all over you. Great idea for a hangover right?

Let me get rid of these first. The day before we had drinks and dinner with bf’s friend in the city, fun times. I wore my new wedges and I didn’t fall once I just walked really slow.

This annoying couple turned up our last day in Aruba at the pool so no more hot tub blasting for us though bf did a cannon ball to announce our presence. The old guy sat on his laptop for a couple hours under the umbrella, cool vacation bro! I smiled at the lady when we passed each other doing pool laps but she was not feeling us until an hour later when she realized her husband was gonna be hardcore ignoring her for hours.

Aruba is a magical place.

See! We went through all the pics on my phone and videos the other night we haven’t even looked at and were catapulted right back into our honeymooning blissdom. Pictures are addictive, a healthy addiction IMO but totally can be overdone if you’re OCD snapping at everything and missing out on the IRL experience.

Me and my jumpsuit I was wearing the night we met. It’s from H&M.

Irish writer dudes in Amsterdam. We had Irish coffees here then split town.

Totally wanna see #hangoverIII here. #Tuschinski #cinema #amsterdam made in 1921 so old, rats will run over your feet during a #film.

On with de show now. These are all taken with his other camera, the camera I used has all the videos and close-ups on it. Just too much but lots of goodies. It’s hard to narrow it down from 1000 photos. I don’t have the attention span nor patience to discern which picture of a monkey is better than the others, aside from facial expressions and funny things they’re doing but if you get one posing nicely on a flower tree you tend to take 40 pictures of that moment and then when you sit down to go through them it’s like wtf is wrong with me?

Quickly realized I wore the wrong bra, I had to use bf as a shield a lot. Had a few Grandpa groupies at various junctures, women eyeing me up and down pissed off too oh whatever if I could go back in time and wear something with more padding I would have.

Love the design here.

We got in for the price of one cos an old guy came up to us before the entrance with internet print-out tickets, his wife can’t walk anymore. Being avid watchers of scam city I was a little worried but the man had an honest face and the tickets were legit wuhoo savings!!!!!!

If you want to borrow these zipper bags for the day you can, some monkeys are a little grabby. If they were gypsy monkeys we would be ripped off for sure.

I feel bad for turkeys, they’re so fugly with that shit hanging off their beaks like God made a mistake and put ball sack on their nose instead whoops too late.

Wearing flips flops on long walks is a risk. By the end of the afternoon I was beat.

At this point it dawned on me that if I was going to speak baby talk to the animals they’re not going to understand English cos they’re all Dutch animals ah duhhhhhhhh. Saying hello in a cooing voice works internationally also having animal aura which I possess, most morons do. It’s like a come to me competitive wizardry.

Don’t interrupt while I’m minxing yo.

It is overwhelming in the cutest way to enter this area, they’re just everywhere playing about and interacting with people it’s the best therapy ever.

Having “monkey” as my nickname at a place literally crawling with monkeys was funny too, good thing no one speaks English. The zoo staff did though and found our running commentary quite hilarious and how nervous and skittish I was around the monkeys. They bite and when you’re spooked easy your overactive imagination gets the better of you. Have you seen the movie Outbreak?

Branches obscuring me, hot look.

Baby monkey brain asplosion awwwwwww.

Their little faces blew me through a wall aghhhhhh. They climbed all over my bf it was adorablah, bit his camera and hands god it was so amazing.

They’re so human looking, the ape I captured on film later on was spectacularly human I could watch all day.

Curious little guy.

I didn’t have the balls to hold one, I didn’t want to be bitten.

We went back at the end of the day to steal one but were too late lol.

I’m making the weirdest noises while going through these right meow.

You are my favourite littlest people ever.

Blaha.

Hahaha. This is the guy that climbed on top of the camera.

Once you get one little guy all his brothers show up for a monkey pile.

Photobomb. They loved the clicking sound of the shots.

See how tiny they are, no one would notice if one went missing although your house would definitely get trashed. The Ikea monkey was sitting on his throne elsewhere btw.

Duuuude I relate. Check ya later.

He’s checking me out. These guys were way more intense and goofy with sharper looking fingers and teeth so there was no damn way I was touching one. They were hilarious to watch, clumsy and dopey.

What are they do you know? Everything was written in Dutch and like I’m going to remember that. Update: They are ring-tailed lemurs!

Isn’t it fantastic how there’s no cages and they’re allowed to roam freely and they trust the zoo guests?

Like if I wanted to pat him I could have. I’m not that stupid though.

Pardon me what?

I have a video of some humping around in here.

Watching them walk around like people and get fed is fascinating.

See! Raw endives though, ughhhh.

It was a fun jungle day, fungle jungle.

The desks in there were very old school, LITERALLY.

I have a friend like you in Toronto.

Oh hi. I go to that party every year. Hey Luc.

My hair doesn’t look so bad for not washing it, I did the day before obviously and that was a good hair day and it carried over to the next day that is all.

Busted.

I like the wizard one.

These guys were going mental.

They had a food puzzle and were all going ape shit.

Love their funny screamy faces ahahhaa.

They act paranoid like humans too, suspicious.

Where’s the food seriously give it to me.

Meanwhile this moron’s like go ahead look, I’m clean.

Keep searching fool.

I am so out of here.

God I am sooooo hung what happened last night.

I lost my keys. Did you see my keys? Where are my keys.

It’s a really great place I’m glad we went. Maybe a few twist and turns too long but other than that very awesome. My ankle was throbbing by the end.

Other than monkeys there’s some weirdo tropical birds. I want one.

That chick really likes animals.

Aww.

Turtle us.

I love that face.

My hair is looking longer and longer yay. Can’t wait to dye it again.

Ooh yay. They were playing island tunes here.

I didn’t wear any makeup yesterday. The older you get the less you’re supposed to wear. Not bad for thirty hey? Fuck I still can’t believe it.

Which one would you sit on? Part of me would choose the fugliest looking one and the other part of me would choose a butterfly haha. I probs woulda barfed if I went on it though it was not a merry-go-round kinda day.

That means so long, bye bye, sayonara etc.

We snuck into the holding monkeys area for a bit then got escorted out ahaha. Honey did you see the sign? No, I took a short cut (truth) but even if I did I can’t read Dutch anyway so..

Tourist trap store.

Junk. Kinda wanted one but, nah.

I didn’t get a tan line from my wrist hair elastic nor did I use it once. Double sigh.

This camera is awesome.

So much further to walk yet.

Great now we’re going to get attacked by Canadian geese perfs way to end the day.

Nope this is the perfect way.

Cava and a great view of Deventer. There’s prostitutes over the water by the road when you drive over the bridge I was too much of a pussy to take pics again. It’s mind blowing to see them in their little closets, bored on their phones in heels ranging from fug to fugger. Count your blessings world and there but for the grace of God, go I.

Monastery cheese and smoked almonds, had me thinking of Cheese Boutique a lot. It was so good and we were so shocked at how much they gave us.

Croquettes are a major thing here. They’re so good but so bad.

Holy fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhck. I have zero sweet tooth these days thankfully.

Whimsical <3.

Is Belle home? I’ll settle for the Beast.

I love your mirror hippie accoutrement.

So many weirdos here it’s awesome.

Nice one Abe.

Okay that’s all for today, enjoy your Saturday.

The post Monkey Business appeared first on Raymi the Minx.

What do we do when we fall off the horse?

We get back on, Little Raymis, we get back on.

Ready for round II? Ah duh.

Hi Lena!

The penguins would make little runs for it it was so funny and cute, they’d puff up their chests and flap wings and SCRAM then the girls would have to scoot them back in again. We were so close we could have touched one but we’d get pecked potentially which one girl did much to our amusement lol.

I went from crying to laughing in seconds. Normally a sign of hysteria or any form of crazy but I was at a zoo extreme emotion boomerangs happen here. Animals in captivity (usually injured so it’s a sanctuary of sorts), new ones being born, winemotional. To recapyou though, Lady Garbage was put down this day + a dude ran in to me with wine glasses after a downpour (thunder and lightning scare me & rain PISSES ME OFF! If I have to be out in it)(Plus I am still sick and was at the time) are these enough reasons for crying yet? Thank you.

The universal cat call known as pss pss pss worked like a c harm we had thing thing near us in seconds. You should have seen Bech get an Eagle to squak at her to STFU! cos of her voice and annoying talking at it bahaha ps. check out her tumblr I updated like a crazyiac last night. It’s fun currating other people’s images and putting the best-ofs together or whatever. I am the shittiest best friend ever!

AW I LOVE IT I WANT IT EXPLOSION!!!! Also I am pretty. Shut up don’t tell anyone you’re making me blush.

So close. Bech looks like a 7 year old that is what I love about her.

I just said Aw Booboodoodoo out loud. If you can tell me where that term originates from I will blow a fart on your tum tum. Mom no telling.

Two of them!

Awwwww.

It was ridinkulous. We were on our way to the stingrays and I was like whaaaaaat!

Yes that is actually what I was like. That is a thing now. I hope I get on Letterman before he retires so I can be a total asshole to him back. I don’t like how he is unraveling and being a POS (piece of sh-) to guests like a drunk prick uncle. You adapt to society, do not expect it to adapt to you. Remember that everyone.

HAhaah lovely. You can’t bring your wine in so we chug them and then go drunk in to the stingrays it is a ball of a time.

She’s all we wouldn’t let you go very far with them and I said you couldn’t catch me anyway hey colleague check out her foot! HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLLEAGUE B T W! The ghost with the most! LOL ((((colleague)))) o_O Now tune-up ma bike we got stuffs ta do tomorrow.

Wash your hands so we don’t get our dirty hands all over the stingrays.

Doing the same last year.

Rebecca is MAJORLY focusing.

And last year.

We went right to work.

We’re like one of those movies based on people who work at sea world having adventures and romances and heartbreak and valuable life lessons I get to be Adam Sandler called it.

We are whispering bad girl things and daring each other to be tough guys.

Here I am bragging about this being my THIRD year in a row petting these freaky alien sharks and bein’ straight ballin’ gangster god how annoying I am sorry Rebecca (NOT).

Ya gotta get right on in there. Now why was I getting stink eye again lol. Like I care.

We were already damp, moist, and/or soaked from the downpour so what did it matter anymore? There was one particular stingraymi™ that was a punk dick! It splashed me big time, lots of people, but it was being playful really I felt cos it kept coming back for more. Some will come up for a pet they like it.

This is the one (what kind of shark is it?) that we held on to that was pretty ballsy what if it turned around and bit us? I would if some stupid girls were holding me like a snake. Raymbecca does as Raymbecca pleases.

See? she did it first I had to stop her because I have maternal instincts whilst Bech’s snake-charming ones kicked in to overdrive HAHAHA fantastic.

I am so dramatic. I was destined to be a gay icon. #truth.

Thanks a lot Raymbecca.

Oh my god seriously?

Do you come in large?

I would not quit until I held this one.

Lots of them in this area, they circle the entire pool but the meat of them are all here it’s like petting central.

Careful we’re about to get creeped.

Colleague liked this one most of all haha lawda mercy!

SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was a juicy day in the Raymbohood. Atin’ and drankin’

That’s Raymbecca as sharks.

Time to dry off.

Love my neon nails.

Flirty nearing thirty.

Wiping the moisture from my stupid phone camera lens.

KEEP GOING TONS MORE TO READ AFTER  THE JUMP!

Still pretty soaked okay lets do this that wine is not going to drink itself.

Just be coooool and no one will notice.

Here we come it’s the dumb dumbs.

Thank you for the salmon!

Mmmm.

Thanks again Cheese Boutique for letting me in to your delicious and fancy elitist events world, I have the best times with you and I know all your friends appreciate the Raymi too lol they’re fun to cover on my blog.

Can I fit this in my mouth?

Only one way to find out oh hi Rebecca didn’t hear you come in.

Nope. This isn’t going to work.

Funnest location for a foodie thingy ever right. If the slide wasn’t wet from the rain I’m sure we’d have gone down it just for investigative journalism purposes of course. Growing up is a trap don’t do it!

Hiya Jenn! One of my bro’s ex naybe gf’s and one of the founding members of the sex club I was also in. There was no actual sex in it though because we were all under the age of ten or thereabouts HAhahaa. It was a box in a bush by the park in the complex. Kids are awesome. Make sure you spy on them.

Yes more cheese please Afrim. Exquisite.

Lets goooooooooo! We have another party to attend. Yep it ain’t over til the fat Raymi sings. Now THAT was the blog post title idea I was trying to remember.

This is a rescue Eagle and we got it to talk to us because we have super animal powers.

Ah yeah.

And then we went home to change and dashed over to a private party at TPL and they are the guys who do the lighting for the CN Tower. Now that is an enviable contract if I ever saw one.

We stood out a little as usual but also cos we were the new guys. It’s a cliquey industry apparently. We had a really good time and everyone seemed to be well liquored by the time we arrived, as were we. Perfect party recipe.

We checked out the upstairs.

This chain is called Jane. They have names? They have names!

Naturally, I played in there to demonstrate how cool it would be to have one of these in your office.

Surprise.

She’ll be coming ’round the mountain when she comes.

So much grace.

Perfection.

Help they captured me.

I had poodle hair.

But.

This looks like the CN Tower LEDs to me.

Then a guy got the courage to talk to us.

And it backfired.

OMG I just remember the funny thing he said and happened. I don’t think I can share it here unfortch because I am a nice person lol.

I was in hysterics about it too I bet you are just dying to know!

Love this one.

Took advantage of the great lighting.

The head honcho Andy. He asked colleague who we were as we rick-rolled right on by straight to the bar dance shufflin’ our way there.

And some cheese for the road thanks everyone! Cheese Boutique and TPL are naybes, oh isn’t that so how terribly convenient is that.

I wanted to keep partying but they did not so I ate all my meat on the couch instead. This is your scene queen signing off. Time for a shower!

The post Zoolander appeared first on Raymi the Minx.

Yesterday your fearless hero went to the zoo (where she belongs) for the annual Seafood for Thought eatathon. My third year in a row! I am a important people! Here’s last year’s post: Seafood? I see food I eat it. Funny how some people don’t know I’m “a foodie” yeah I’m all over the place I get that but it’s true, I have reviewed quite the amount of restaurants over the years so I kinda know what I’m talking and eating about.

Tickets to the rain ball and man, did it ever rain.

As you can see it was quite summery weather save for the monsoon so we dressed appropriately & although it Noah’s Ark dumped forty days forty nights style, it was still hot out.

Too hot for a bra even so I Sharon Stoner’d it.

A taste of what was to come except we did not taste Stingraymis™ as they are not for eating but for petting only. They are scary looking things and I was most brave this year thanks to Rebecca’s fearlessness rubbing off on me. She grabbed this one shark and held on for awhile so I copied that. It was a lot of fun. We got soaked again. If the rain won’t get you the stingrays will.

Colleague, ever the s-disturber, told me some women were giving me major stink eye when we passed because of my outfit. Well I’m sorry it’s summer ladies. I’m sure you watch all kinds of sluttily dressed shows and read celeb gossip mags where they are dressed hotter than me and you don’t think twice about it.

Line skipping. Baby doesn’t wait in lines.

Rebecca said we matched (cos of my camel toe) she burned me many times on that and I fell in to the trap each time. I can’t help how these shorts were designed, they’re Bettie Page and since high-waisted 50’s technology has not been advanced to avoid c-toe, don’t blame me.

She wore those earrings in honour of Lady G.

Ferret Bueller.

Act natural everybody!

I did not touch it. I didn’t see the point. It was grooming itself anyway.

This chick is from the old neighbourhood, was nice running in to her hi Jenn! Oh I got stories lol.

Woah easy neck veins!

Wine me up. I wish Cheese Boutique‘s tent was attached to this one during the downpour which turned me in to a sucky pants. I am scared of thunder and lightning. Laugh all you want I have sensitivities. I deal.

First thing in my mouth was yummy ceviche. Can you remember what Raymbecca? If there’s no picture of the resto to go along with then my photographic memory can only go so far.

What kind of fish is this?

But of course.

I rule therefore I am.

Hello old friend.

We had moments to choose where to find shelter not wanting to accept that it was actually going to happen. Self-delusion is one of my strongest skills.

This corn chow was delish and warm and that was the crack of thunder cue to get a move on.

It was claustrophobic under that tent and scary and windy and wet but we kept eating and drinking and partying through it nothing like group camaraderie to get you through a rough patch and I apologize to anyone I might have annoyed with my whining.

The woman to my right was going to make a run for it and I stopped her. Are you kidding me? She stayed and ate with us once she turned around and saw how much it was coming down. Where were you when it rained yesterday?

The worst of it wasn’t even photographed cos obvs it was too wretched to do it.

It was a funny situation and bonded all of us, I liked that part.

Knew I’d eventually get drenched, wanted to maintain my hairdo and makeup. Never give up my pretties!

LOL NEVER GIVE…UP.

Fanciest downpour.

We should have grabbed a bottle of wine. We were stationed beside Steamwhistle but Rebecca is allergic to wheat. I drank one for her because I am a good friend like that.

I kept myself together despite my wimpy faces. I was scared! I thought the tent would blow away or someone (me) would get struck by lightning. One of the singers of the band said they thought they were going to get fried up there. I believed ya!

You had to laugh though. It rained for a bit before we arrived too. Rain pockets. Driving to the zoo seeing the scary sky made me worried what a ninny. Just knowing you can’t do anything about it makes me uncomfortable. It exhilarates me for sure but it still scares me okay bye don’t tell anyone.

It just kept raining.

Then our friend Jason shows up by umbrella escort well la-dee-da.

I only cracked one or two global warming jokes what, raise awareness people. No one seems to care anymore? Wait ’til the next election maybe.

Two jokes about walrus global warming and no laughs. Just one soggy tumbleweed.

Fine. Beer time.

Wet t-shirt contest everywhere.

Here’s when diva Raymi came out. People kept appearing in garbage bag raincoats and I wanted one NOW and no one knew how they were getting them nor could I walk to find out in the rain and Raymbecca had me on IGNORE and walked away with the umbrella. O’RLY?

Ahhh relief. I couldn’t believe one guy had the audacity to say he needed them for his entire group. RUDE. You give me one and I go get you a stack buddy. I had my party enemy now, all set. I did not see him again after that lol.

How do you feel special or stand out when everyone’s in the same garbage bag as you? During my temper tantrum I finally went to storm off in to the rain and my flip flop got stuck to the wet ground. FOILED! It was funny for everyone watching and already irritated by me (colleague) I just didn’t understand why he wouldn’t go and get me one already!

All better now.

Rebecca went to culinary school with Trista (who was on top chef and made it to 6th place!) and so she was acting more mature than me or like, yeah, all business when I was like hot wet cute mess, I got this, I “know” these people don’t even worry about it haha.

We’re a cute pair though. I see us as old future potatoes together complaining and yelling at each other. She’s my Lois, mom!

And THIS fricking picture are you kidding me? I can’t stop laughing. It’s like only raining on her thanks to the cloud behind her and it looks like a kid’s show for weather. SO funny.

Cut eye problems now solved.

I got two more ponchos for the road. Awesome. Only come in handy if pre-stashed in a purse.

Look behind me now…

Don’t judge, she’s so us. She’s our people.

Wet posh people everywhere. Loved it.

Well hi there Albert (Le Select). I got them some beers, then brought food back to Mill St. tent then went to get wine for myself and then I got slammed in to by the guy carrying way too much. Seriously if I was more of a VIP diva bitch elsewhere I’d have made a stink, I was able to stop myself from sheer will alone to not want to fall and it almost tore my flip flop apart from the wet ground suction.

Yummy nummies.

And there I am with the beers, purple shirt is blocking me and was the whole way.

Colleague said he could only tell me apart from the herd by my pink sandals.

See the four red boxes? That’s what walked in to me. My hood obscured my view and I was walking in such a direction he came at me from my left BOOM. They were just wondering where I was too and SMASH. EVERYONE laughed and stared. A few inquired if I was alright, I was shaken and in shock, glass everywhere.

Bech and colleague came to my aid, it was funny, yes laugh totally but they could tell I was upset and then I burst in to tears and said LADY GARBAGE. After the rain and that and the wine glasses stupidity it all finally bubbled over.

And then like with all glass shattering incidences I felt a phantom piece in my foot that wasn’t there thankfully.

And this is what it looks like when minxes cry.

TO BE CONTINUED!

The post Foodie attitudey appeared first on Raymi the Minx.