Am I getting double stink-eye here? Probably. Nice work colleague.

What’s up girl.

Oh it’s me talking what am I saying? Talking internet!

Evidence of listening.

I know I blogged this one before already, don’t care. I like it. HI MARTA!

See. No one minds.

Thank god it’s over here are my people.

Lisa and Anum. Bloggity blog-a-bangity-bang uhh, fill the rest of that Kid Rock ditty in yourselves thanks I am busy working on my next joke. The guy in the red shirt laughed at all my jokes during the panel AND made that face you’re supposed to make when you are inspired by something that was intentionally-profound in sound.

Look it’s a listening and sharing triangle. Lisa and I TORE IT UP in San Diego (that one time in San Diego) at Blogher. I bet I could write a book about those four days. I bet mommy bloggers would tout it as their next 50 shades of Craymi. RIGHT!!!

This dress and my slacking on giving a care about my posture, demeanor overall is reminiscent of my cave-like roots. The dress is cheetah print, very subtle, like the skin of a Barbarella amazonian jungless.

I love Donna. This kid, 10, was also on my panel. He is a hockey blogger. My mind goes ballistic thinking about what I’d have done with the internet at ten years old therefore I dig the kid.

And I liked that we had a conversation both not looking at each other. I am as shy as a ten year old boy. WHO IS A FAMOUS INTERNET SENSATION.

@Sportsconnected that’s him. Yes I know we have a difference in brands I think it’s pretty awesome though, panel-attendees asked him what he would blog about during the strike, he made some jokes about that. Like a real adult omg we just sat laughing and staring with our mouths open. I forgot how precocious kids can be especially when egged on, as they should be, push that personality to its limit. You think I was precocious? You betcha.

This little girl was in love with me too her mom stopped me to tell me and congratulate me on my talk. WHAT! AWW kill me with cute overload why don’t you. I should just quit blogging and go in to babysitting already, I bet I would make more money ahahaa.

Exactly. This is the Molson sample room so I am buying anything they’re selling lol.

Engaging with the peeps. I do way better in an environment like this don’t get me wrong I love to sit at a rised-table and dole out Raymisms too but my flow is just so much better at eye level with a drank in ma hand. They should have a pre-game room.

Alright lets do this.

I am great with on-the-spot ideas.

With Anum on board, no problem.

Lightning bolt finish? You got it.

Fun is fun attracts fun.

I made them delete the one where we were fake running through the paper finish line because my face looked fug.

That’s the one! You’ve seen it.

And that is how it’s done. I suppose.

And that too. It is not macaroons but it’ll do. Anum and I wanted to go on a macaroon-eating date picnic in the park. I know right? Right.

Gossiping, duh. J/k just filling her in on all things Raymbot.

I can’t wait til my hair is long.

Oh hi Ammar.

Hi you.

Best photobomb.

Off to the Ritz for a business meeting.

Face check.

Who’s gonna ride your wild horses? I am.

The post Blogably speaking appeared first on Raymi the Minx.

So as you know, last Friday I spoke at She’s Connected on the rockstar (without a band) panel. I have notes from it I’m going to transcribe because I have to feed the blog monkey something, right? May as well be this. I spoke last year as well. I find these conferences are great for many reasons. It’s great to know that not one brand in the room will deign to advertise with me and yet here I am speaking to these blogger newbs and telling them how it’s done. Whatever. On with it!

Prior to the panel they gave us three questions over email to mull over and prepare answers to and in true rock star fashion I wrote down my notes on my way in to town. First question being why do we deserve rock star status?

Donna, conference mistressmind called me a rockstar and “the future” when she met me two summers ago during the bender blitz of blogher in San Diego that was a dream vacay for this guy. I booked four nights and scrammed on over to the Hard Rock hotel (pretty rockstar so far if you ask me) and I ripped it up. If I wanted room service I’d press GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM in to my cheeky hotel room phone and put it on the company dime. Aaaaah. Anyway, that was a great experience for me and I believe my first conference. Blog industry is a money maker now it isn’t going away. It gives jobs to homemakers, hello, internet rules. Best invention ever, ever. Agree?

Notes time. I am a “rock star” blogger BECAUSE I keep it really really really real. Live tweeters in the room, that’s 3 really’s, one real. (Then everybody would be supposed to laugh ahaha).

I’m driven.

I make few compromises. (Then I elaborated/went on a tangent, these are just blurbs that get my talking points going).

I didn’t want to come in there being all defensive but I kind of wanted to make a few mommy blogger jabs to waken ‘em up you know. So I didn’t get to say this next line (pussed out):

Don’t wade through the internet looking to be offended all the time.

Mommy bloggers! – How do you see yourselves?

Don’t think about how you see me. Think about how YOU are viewed. You are a massive collective mobile unit, you are not independent voices. You are one voice. You need to be distinctive and step away from the mommy blogger cult. I AM SERIOUS. You’re watered down and over-saturated.

Ahem Cough. Then I visualized a stampede. Actually the few bold faced statements I made were met with smiles and eyes popping open, grinning and respect. Then I have a page dedicated to CAMPAIGNS that I’m not going to share because you don’t deserve to know my industry secrets for free I’ll just say that the better my Little Raymis do, the better I do. We all rise together. Build a network. It’s obvious. No brainer.

Okay, and then I wrote some chicken scratch extras which are imperative for page-flipping and going blank on the spot. How are your public speaking skills? Mine wane but whatever, it’s the message, not the totally unintelligible manner in which I deliver it OKAY.

I do what I want until people just let me. I think by this I meant just being a sh–head in general for forever on the internet gathering peeps for my audience along the way until maybe that very first PR person reached out to me and invited me to like every single music industry party in life ever. More rockstar reasons right. Oh the parties, oh the people, oh the stories oh the boozing. Just go look in my archives, easy.

Don’t always play by everybody’s rules. You guys (uh oh more mommy bashing haha)(YOU GUYS DO IT TO ME BIG TIME SO CHILL) moved into my territory. I stepped aside kept doing my own thing while the industry developed. We have conferences now. Tech talks. A whole bunch of how-to think tank stuff. Are we reinventing the wheel here people? No. We are simply spinning them. AAAND SONIC BOOM OWNED! Lol.

It is good to exchange ideas and share in our successes but we must maintain our savvy little secrets IMO. I called the rest of that thought in because people only half-listen I find and they’ll just listen to that statement alone. Like I got secrets but I am not telling you them. Builds suspense.

What I do that works for me will not necessarily work for you because you probably play it safe, which is fine, but then there’s hundreds if not thousands of play-it-safers. Newsflash: BORING. The future is FUN & YOUNG and I am just as scared as you. Tumblr? Get one. Though you probably already have one called a pinterest. SEE. It’s OKAY to make fun of stuff on the internet.

Then of course I mentioned how last year I said I wanted to be in Playboy by thirty and now well yeah, look! Plus I’m still 29. Booyah.

Zing bang pow! I got stuff to do. Later gents.

The post Rockstar panel notes appeared first on Raymi the Minx.

OK lets put our thinking caps on and I’ll grab my notes. The conference feedback about your hero was: wow she has a plan – she knows what she wants and she is going after it. – congrats and u looked gorgeous :).

It’s panel time!

Raymi Lauren White

Raymi the Minx aka Lauren White or, Raymi Lauren, built her brand at the age of 17, spawning raymitheminx.com in 2000. She is a pioneer of blogging and was amongst the small pool of bloggers during its first wave of popularity in 2002, drawing the attention of The National Post and SEX TV. A provocateur savant, unabashed black sheep of the digital age, influencer, trend setter, wordsmith; Raymitheminx.com has been a MUST READ in the Toronto’s hip and in-the-know arena for over a decade. Raymi is on par with media, a notable invitee to all the to-dos, touted as the Penny Lane of Toronto (long time music industry ties), muse to the stars, spearheads a bounty of fellow Little Raymis with copious pop-up copycat raymi blogs. Multiple times over viral, donning garb and trends before you got over the last one. Raymi has singlehandedly made a business of her personal everyday life, is a spokesmodel for a plethora of elite brands and has successfully married her hobbies and passions with business, sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between the two. You need to meet her to fully experience and grasp her special brand. A closet feminist, comedienne, exhibitionist, Raymi wears all hats and didja know, she’s HUGE in the foodie scene too, not to mention, a rapidly budding and requested burlesque dancer?

Blog: www.raymitheminx.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/raymitheminx

Twitter: www.twitter.com/raymitheminx
Youtube: www.youtube.com/user/raymilauren

Showed up a little early (for once) to catch the panel before mine to see how these ladies were doing it. they would set the bar and I would be cartwheeling over it. That was my trick to settling my nerves. It worked. Was still nervous though, but I am always nervous so it doesn’t much matter. I’ll distract them with dazzle camouflage.

Following people on twitter and they thank you by spam blasting you with something you have zero per cent interest in. No thank you. Unfollow.

Katrina tweeted are you wearing pants? I replied with oh sh- where are mein pants? ILUVHER.

I guess colleague was bored at points. He is already well-versed in all my wacky hair-brained schemes.

That baby was calming. We vibed off one another. I don’t know protocol in talking to babies, is it ok? I picked up a dog once in a movie store and my bf was like NO. That’s the equivalent of picking up someone else’s baby. I get away with stuff all the time and I know that what I can do isn’t necessarily ok for everybody else. Yes I get special privileges.

They all followed my twitter straight off the bat thanks to Rose. I am this close to being a pyramid scheme (what’s a ponzi scheme that sounds fun!) or a televangelist.

I know and don’t know what they were saying. The room was packed! No seats or, I just didn’t want to interrupt. I saw that no one was being as insane and boisterous as I had been plotting. My nerves went away. I’ve been on network autopilot for weeks it is second nature now and annoying all of my friends. I can’t stop selling.

Comment of the day:

THIS GIRL HAS SOME STAR QUALITY (AND I’M NOT SAYING THAT BECAUSE I’M TOTALLY AROUSED RIGHT NOW AFTER WATCHING THIS). BUT, REALLY. SHE HAS MORE TALENT AND SEX APPEAL THAN MOST OF THE BIMBOS ON TV TODAY. WHY NOT? PUT THIS GIRL IN A MOVIE PLEASE!

It’s super weird to get comments daily to a ghost of a girl. Like she lives in a dance video in a condo she used to live in. Click that link to see.

More of that.

@1ofthose2girls the tiara chick had the fortune of washing her hands precisely when I was in the loo putting on my magic final touches and thus became deeply entangled in a massive sharing of ladies room banter. That’s Katrina, the new treasurer of empire raymi. She is paid in Brie.

@KarmicEvolution screamed out I LOVE YOU. I dared her to. It happens at the end of my Intro here. I knew she’d do it cos she had a whale on her head. People with animals on their heads typically are wont to yell things out in public.

This is what I call being a team player. Did you wear your shirt?

I wore a bra in case my party hats would be showing. I chose my colour over summer and everything was easy breezy sunny and I was a surfer babe 24/7. Farah said she expected me to show up in my lifeguard outfit. She said it’s infamous hahaha. Totally. Maybe I’ll do a post of photos of me wearing it all over town.

All #SCCTO babes get a discount to AndroidTO. code: RAYMI. Android and Connected sitting in a tree c-o-n-f-e-r-e-n-c-i-n-g. Hot geek love.

Another baby.

So adorable.

Your baby is a thief. Her mom was like I am trying to train her to pull people’s rings off. Loved that. I love when they take you to task for the bluffs you throw out there.

Pfffft.

One of the first things I said was I FEEL LIKE I AM SITTING AT A BAR. I was jokey. People listen to stand-up.

They are all staring. It’s like a dream and a nightmare simultaneously.

I want those shots. or maybe not. You get the idea.

OOh that hat was a good idea, face hiding. Like when people whisper, you listen closer. If my face is obscured you will constantly look for it.

Ok I will for real get up off my ass now and get my notes. It was hard to say all the things you planned to because it was a discussion and specific questions lead to specific answers. What works for me might not necessarily work for you and I knew I couldn’t convince a room of 200 proactive techy chicks that the recipe to success was heavily beauty based or being a constant gag-making stooge, I can tell that to you guys but to a room, nuh uh. Everyone likes to think that they have all the answers better than you. Fine then go get invited to a panel and tell it on a microphone. Mantain relevancy and longevity. That is the goal. I am eleven years old this blog, one woman rushed me about blogging back in the day too but yeah, are you notable?

Well done clap clap now lets see what the feedback is.

That guy interviewed me on his little blog tv show thing haven’t heard from him yet. I get 80% more traffic than him, my colleague said, THAT is why RAYMI when he asked “innocently” about what the big deal about bloggers and brands is. Advertising, dude. That’s what. It’s just a channel of preference. Have something neat you wanna raise hype and awareness for, email ME: RAYMI@RAYMITHEMINX.COM Think your brand is too elite for me, you’re fooling yourself and asleep at the wheel. My fingers are in every pie.

@zchamu was in my Blogher San Diego crew. LOVE HER! Which is blog code speak for SHE LOVES RAYMI.

YES WE CAN!

Moments prior to this I was like you have to be a punk rock mommy blogger these days to be interesting again and WHAMMO! Dreams answered.

Shannon was on her way back to Ottawa. Wah. Go hang out with my aunt and uncle! They’re like me (nothing like me) but way more posh.

Amen blonde sister. Don’t feel alienated other girls. Colleague said I alienate people sometimes when I write I had no idea what he is talking about cos he hasn’t any hair at all!

Here is a picture of what me pretending to know EXACTLY what african drumming is. Like, Peter Gabriel’s concerts? Gahaha. Please totally invite me I dance like a chicken to tribal music it will be hilarious.

Wait for it!

Hahahaa.

I am doing my patented MIB-rip-off memory record wiping by waving at the air. Photographic evidence unfortunately doesn’t delete the same nor does willingly typing html code into the body of your typing field for the photo either. It’s unfortunate that this entire post is tainted for me based on one rotten egg of a woman talking shit about me. My brand isn’t “for her” and had I known this our conversation meet and greet that I was nothing but lovely during would have been wildly different.

It’s ok, I’m wearing a hat. I got this covered.

She liked me, I liked her, blah blah blah oh that’s right she was at the picnic too!

Give me some.

I want a tiara! I’ll be a stagette party forever no problemo!

Conference sponsor what’s up!

Give me one.

Sometimes I look Japanese right? That is because I am related to David Suzuki. No just kidding. Notice how I antagonize a notable periodically here for about a month’s time to get a reaction out of it. WINDOW’S CLOSING, SUZUKI. Why weren’t you at the picnic? I planted a tree in your honour.

There’s a video of this but I think it was TMI so won’t be posting. If I knew how to edit. Hmmm.

Ha. Who even knows anymore?

Tracey was like what would we talk about on tv? I’m LIKE WHAT WOULD WE TALK ABOUT????

She said I had it going on and I said you distracted me during my panel, I saw you look down and was trying to figure out who you were and then saw you typing and thought, “what is she typing about me?” I am totally self centred.

I wish I didn’t look like this when I laughed, but I do. Oh well. The point is what WOULDN’T we talk about on CityLine? What is the live delay, 5 seconds? Bahaha.

Don’t I look like Sam Crenshaw sometimes?

+++

Something neat, this photo is trending right now on tumblr:

It took my breath away because I took a photo of the same steps in New Orleans Louisiana in April 2008. Crazy!

See the cup in the mailbox?

The post Schematic visionaries appeared first on Raymi the Minx.

Found this article and decided to comment. I’ve decided to “play the game”, rather, play pretend like I know what the f- the game even is, or care. I have mad traffic, some bloggers make more money than me, the gloves are off and it’s time to dance. This is my arena, I’ve been coat-tailed to the top and as a friend recently said it was painful silently watching me hand the keys over to the kingdom over the past year I was like awww no WAY!

Here’s my comment:

Eleven years this November is how long I’ve been blogging.

I am actually speaking on a panel in two hours on what a blogger is worth, this article is timely. Thanks!

What is a blogger worth? I have so much to say, I have trimmed it down to bullet points and Katrina said yesterday it’s not like people are going to give their trade secrets away. Oh yeah, why not? You can’t imitate this originator, or can you?

FIND OUT SOON!

Mom got me these in Vegas. Mom and Lois spoil me, I’ll show you her (lois) tickle trunk treats when I have time. I haven’t seen them since our Rob Ford Dan Aykroyd tag team brap brap!

I love Katrina! She found a hotspot in kitchener called RAYMITHEMINX! That’s a super fan. Hi friend! Kat and I have been yammering away on twitter or my blog I forget (Do you follow me? You should I am psycho on it it’s fun @raymitheminx) the last little bit and it was a pleasure to run into her and learn of her hilarity in person, what a gem. I nicked her a triangle of brie for the road, there were 20 leftovers and all going to charity. She has kids and blabbity blah I am Robin Hood go melt it on some garlic and jam and toast mmmmm.

Snooki glasses.

When I ordered my drink I requested less tart more booze.

Cammi said everyone at her table said I was beautiful so I floated over like an angel and said hi. I liked stalking Cammi’s tweets on the ticker screen and then seeing her three seconds later. Girl got mad style and twitter following get me some-a that! We sashayed down the catwalk together in May. Fierce.

Made Rosana’s night “Thursday night dinner and celeb-spotting @raymitheminx made the night” awww. Also that fine cat is Mark, #SCCTO uhhh this guy: co-founder & Chairman of Social Media Marketing Agency; ShesConnected Multimedia Corp. He just wandered in to the keg where mom lois and I were holding court and we hung out, he taught me a zen speech master trick I am going to implement today. Utterly top secret though. I was in the bathroom washing my hands and Rosana’s gf says, hey, do you, blog? I’m like HELL YES I DO WHERE IS SHE!? Ha then I snuck up to Rosana in a corner and tapped her on the shoulder like something out of Punk’d. It was a good moment. She, like many other little raymis in time of guidance often asks herself, WHAT WOULD RAYMI DO? She also said her and her friends try and decode my tweets when I’m up to mischief. I have sentence dyslexia and a big mouth.

We never stayed at the keg so late but I was bagged, it was nice once the sea of suits mellow out and head back to their homes. Seeing CEOs smashed and smash wine glasses one after another is also totally hilarious, plus the dudes lining up to try out their pick-up lines. I had SCCTO non-partying guilt but I wanted to work on my notes and visit with the girls.

My mom has 200 photos and is taking her sweet princessy ass time in uploading them so you will have to wait. I’d have had them up already if it were my camera, which I didn’t take cos I assumed colleague blabbity blahhhhh.

Argentinian chicks.

One for me and one for me it would be awesome if molson could sponsor raymitheminx tv. I feel like every ridiculous publicity stunt i’ve engaged in the past has been an insane waste of time for not filming it, and i am not saying that in a phoney delusions of grandeur everything I say is comedy type way (even though it is and i am a professional entertainer) but, it’s just more fun, that tv thing. I want a video blog. The options agreement to my life rights is expired so I’m a free agent now.

OK SHOW TIME.

The post as usual we got up to no good last night appeared first on Raymi the Minx.