Ready for more emo Europe? Well good then because that is what you are getting much to the chagrin of other shit I have to do and well, sleep. I just gotta do it. When you are a crazy writer and you don’t pleasure write, your words become poison inside of you and guess what the only release is? Pleasure writing. Like how I once said the antidote to men, is more men. Like a coin with two heads.

Licorice brains. I wanted to buy this for the office but it was so heavy.

Although in hindsight it’s so much more hilarious and possibly appreciated. My dutch clogs are sprinkled throughout the office, dutch clogs and mini porcelain pill jars (vitamins, tylenol). It’s like my tradition now to go to this one store and buy a pile of crap because I like lighting money on fire.

It’s pure junk through and through though, pure junk squared.

Goodbye my friend. Impatient bf was like come on wtf hurry. Um, it’s just, oh I don’t know.. beautiful! No you wtf! I feel like my life is a non-stop dialogue cross between New girl and 2 broke girls. Oh, also, that show Girls too. AND LAST NIGHT, NEW GIRL QUEEN BEE Zooey Deschanel RETWEETED MEEEEE BTW!

Don’t worry, I know what my follow-up is gonna be. With a 35% chance of tankage.

Last night, or one of them. Three last nights count as your last night. Compliments of the house. Everyone when I instagrammed this photo was like OMG WHAT IS THAT “Yum” and OMG TELL MEEEEE NOW! Uh, relax bro it’s just mustard.

He made me bartend for him/us for a laugh cos I was requesting music so much, backfired though cos I sucked and had no idea how to respond to Dutch directions plus was drunk. He was going to the Caribbean in a few days so had island don’t give a sh– brains plus is awesome in general. Students came in for RUSH or whatever and their leaders told him to make them do bar work and he made them clean LOL. It’s one of my favourite bars and we’ve only been a few times but he remembers me and knows my bf/our friends/and sister too + he squeezes my arm while laughing exceptionally loud and crazy after making whatever joke he just made about me/us/it/that and everyone else immediately laughs too. Meanwhile, all these crazy things are happening around us at the time PLUS you can get free postcards there. And well look at him. Awesome.

Ehhhh. I instagrammed this and it is just as bad there. I LOVE THESE PEOPLE.

OH BEHAVE LAST DAY EMO. Oops caps. It still stands though.

We went to Germany on a Sunday (I believe) as one of our last milestones to do, to a restaurant we’ve been to many times but never before at night. It felt more magical that way.

I am the only English speaking person for every 5,000 so that lends a bit of intensity to the experience too.

Germany is cheaper than Holland to eat. However, your dollar does no go as far there.

Have a sweet night or something like that, can a German person translate thank you.

Bread for my ducks which we ate later on at home instead

I love everything about this place. In the summer time we rented a paddleboat out back. We became one with our duck and water fowl friends, it got intense!! I had to use my flip flop for protection and we were both in bathing suits.

I’d say this would be The Drake if they had a summer time Muskoka place Except this is in the middle of nowhere in Germany, a hotel resto with a lake and palm trees. A fireplace indoors and so much seating space, heat lamps and a dining are down below. I should be writing restaurant copy.

Huge bowl of bread you didn’t order, perfect for olive oil dipping at home. You order a salad cos you want to eat light then they bring you a bakery. We also eat it with salami later on.

I love baked things but they take ten yeas to cool down. You always burn your lips and/or insides of your mouth though.

This is what I like to call it’s a hotel thing. Decor is infinite.

Omg I spilled the beans. Oops. Psh. (it works though).

This drink was fabulous though.

Darling croquettes. Brought with mayonaise in teeny ice cream cones. WHATTTTT?

Unnnnnngh.

Carpaccio.

Dreamy.

Oliver Twist was here.

It looks like a cruise ship.

Aaaaaaaand cut to Amsterdam. Weirdest upload ever, scattered, why I’ve avoided doing this.

Good times though. This fudge I bought was so weak, stale. I got Scamsterdammed.

By a palace of some sort.

Xmas lights. sigh

Honk honk ooh sassy.

I have a sinking feeling.

This store was out of control.

And yo were not allowed to take pictures. I did anyway.

Remember.

These stalls to my right are special Christmas things. Charming. Fun.

My first xmas abroad.

Epic wine boxes.

Yikes and goodnight LOL. This is my Hunter S Thompson-ing.

Ski chalet beer garden ftw.

UFO heat lamp.

To be continued. ps. no-kay is a word I invented bye.

(I’ll edit this tomorrow).

The post No-kay? appeared first on Raymi the Minx.

HI! God. I have missed blogging but I just couldn’t. I had to write an overdue thing (I have still 2 more other things to do but am taking tonight for myself to blog that’s that) and had been putting it off for various (and real) reasons and so if I blogged I’d be feel sheepish. Which sucks a little because I have found that blogging actually helps me do the things that I need to do because I get it out of the way, the nagging guilt bubble pops and then I can do the legit shit. Sigh anyway, here I am now and enough of the explanations.

I also had to go through these winners and try to figure out where I left off. I know I put some on my tumblr, I almost just blogged a bunch I already did weeks ago. God can you imagine that, two posts with identical pictures but wildly different captions and rambling stories? I bet you actually can imagine that.

This feels like a lifetime ago. It was I guess. There’s so much immediacy in the world and now now now news online that we don’t really talk about things that happened last week and no one cares at all after a month.

My hair seems so much shorter too. I don’t know if I posted this and it’s not even exciting, it’s just a, moment in time kinda thing.

We are on the way to Germany and this is going backward in time, it was my last day and it had that last day vibe all over it.

It didn’t snow once while I was there and it barely snowed in The Netherlands at all this winter, only in certain areas and only a teeny bit. Breaking weather records this winter, the mildest in centuries or decades.

Ah you can see a windmill in the mirror. I am so sick of winter and my dry hands, my lips are always dry – so dry it started bleeding at the mall the other day wtf thanks.

Car rides when you have a camera you just snap away.

Hmm. This was my last day, the Germany thing was my last-last day I dunno but this was my last day for real. Who cares ya ya but this was the last meal. I’m gonna make that its own post because I don’t want it lumped together with my boring car photos that I somehow stretched into 4 separate posts.

This is me right now btw see how quick my hair grows now that it’s not platinum?

Me today also. That shirt I bought is a bit (way) too big I felt like I was in a night gown. BRB with more!

The post Last night a blogger saved my life appeared first on Raymi the Minx.

Hi pals. Your favourite weirdo is here again, continuing onward with my pics from abroad. Here we are in Germany. These gloves are a little MJ no?

Long distance relationships are intense. A lot depends on them. Though it somewhat feels like depending on a ghost, you don’t quite believe it yourself. When they randomly say certain things that help solidify your vision of the future you’re like, oh really? Really. It’s nice to have a backbone. I mean, it could be just so easy to be alone and “wait” or, I don’t know. It’s just really great to have love period. It is also whimsical to be with your love in Europe. Everything is heightened. Demanding. There’s no bullshitting. In the dating world, there is a lot of bullshitting. When you’re on the other side of the fence of that, it is appreciated.

I felt like a different person in Europe too. Like I looked different? I didn’t care, but cared in a different way. One thing I think is, if we are going to stay together and marry, have kids, how are we going to do that with me working here and him there? It’s a thing I don’t obsess over but am for sure aware of. Women have windows. TMI whatevs, assume half the people who visit here just skim anyway.

Okay I’ll stop headcasing now. Lets check out my experiences!

Lots of horses and cows, sheep, etc are seen in the area of Holland and Germany where we reside and eventually becomes a so what thing. But here, no, you do not see a gorgeous show pony every other property you pass by. I told people at work I milked cows, they believed it lol.

Happily, he captures the idiot moments too where I demand a photo opp but don’t know how to rock it yet.

Each town/desty you go to is like this. Magnificent. Not in your face, but, kind of. We’d have like one of them back home (The Distillery). Do not take the Euro design, oldness, zoning, anything for granted because once you go home it’s so different. You will develop a keen eye when watching movies placed in Europe and kind of weep.

What is this? I don’t know but take my picture in front of it.

The smell of his pipe stunk up the entire section of this euro labyrinth of shoppes so much so I took a sneaker picture. Then we smelled him half hour later somewhere else. SO obnoxious. Don’t get me started on cigars or pipes.

That’s my monkey.

That’s, German merchandising store-fronting.

And shoes. Do these look particularly Euro to you, or whatever? Can’t tell after some time.

He tried to get us to have a snack and I declined because I wanted “real” dinner but, we should have in hindsight because we wandered around and around for awhile, lost, trying to find the best place. Fungry.

Guess what COORS!!!

Well, if you’re gonna buy diamonds…

Being in Germany, two days before you are leaving, as the sun sets… feelings.. This picture is my desktop bg now. Okay that’s all for now I’m toasted. I wrote this last night. Bye now.

ps. check out Playboy Energy V-Spot if you’re jonesing for more Raymbo.

The post Mo euro mo problems appeared first on Raymi the Minx.

Continuing now with my nonsense of things from abroad, here is my last Friday night in Holland. They had that edible paper pasted to our bread and I’m covering the name because I am private like that. Anyway I tasted it and it was like very fine barely even paper bland/remniscent of the bread flavour in taste. That sentence fuckin sucked, sorry.

I love this place for various reasons, multiple sentimental levels that if I typed them out you’d just big fat “oh so what” yawn at me for it. It’s a shower then it’s a grower but it still agitates you a bit because after final dinner service it turns into a night club, the energy is palpable to you as you dine and especially on a Friday night. It’s an influential vibe as in, you drink.

Then another night he had a croquette and beer craving, one of those days you just eat nothing satisfying I suppose so we went out late to this one somewhat local place, we threw maybe ten euros in coins into this and lost it all pretty fast but the best part was watching two dudes come in and play a machine each and you could tell they were on a tear, a full Euro tear. People watching in Europe is 1000% more interesting especially if you know what country they come from because they are so much closer to it, and all those things you’ve heard about this such and such a person or that becomes live before your very eyes. I can’t describe it, I won’t. It’s just good.

Same place. We came here one of my first nights too. They only let us leave with our tall boys instead of serve us beer there. Funny laws in Europe and loop holes everywhere. This night however we made it in time and it was packed with truck drivers, lots of Polish ones and other east Euro kinds. It’s infuriating not being able to understand anybody because my boyfriend erupts in laughter every other minute and I’m like WHAT?? WHAT!? And he has to continue listening because it’s so good whatever they’re saying and by the time they’re done we have to whisper talk because they notice we’re watching, and the moment is over.

This was my last Thursday. We visited our favourite park, the one with the trees and flowers and the necklace and our only other social life, the ducks we fed since they were ducklings.

Everything we did this week was tainted with emo because I was leaving soon. No snow though bro.

bf asked if my outfit was a Canadian flag ahhaha.

A girl at work was wearing similar Pumas to these today except with extra embellishments and flare. I pointed them out and commented. I left behind ALL of my shoes from spring. It feels like being a divorced kid.

Then when something cute happens or we laugh we’re like aw ahahahh then sad because wah going to miss that. He pretended he was filming me so I was all berserk wtf.

5 papes left warning/calling card.

Me in Germany with my friend.

Now we are in Germany on my last Tuesday. I only know this from hanging up a calendar and Flickr tells me the date the photo was taken (the 14th), quite handy that. I flew the sixteenth so depression was at an all time high.

Peach/pink gorgeous place is where that yuppie told us to eat.

Considered the Ratskeller lol.

Looking over the menu, smoking.

La vie. Agree.

Vunderbar

He’s emo, I relate.

Attention span over plus Dateline is on PEACE!!!!

The post Raymi abroad continued appeared first on Raymi the Minx.

My static blog was keeeeeling me. Plus, I have a couple things to do that I “can’t” from winding down after work so one hand blames the other. I feel like if I personal blog, me-blog, like “I’m in trubs” because I did something but not the priority things. But maybe I need to personal blog to open up the creative flood gates and make way for the to do. Which I can’t quit whining about. I think after jet lag then confronting post vacay blues, emo acceptance and thrust into moving stress as well as back to work getting into the groove of (which am happy to report: all is good there) I needed to just, do those things. Period.

I uploaded 500 photos from abroad like a mad man and it’s starting to give me Obsessive Compulsive Disorder anxiety and worry “I will forget” #neverforget.

So here are photos from my last night, in Germany, the night before I left. My last supper. At a Deutschland potato place. Don’t get me started on the food. It’s really good, I will just leave it at that. BORINGLY that. Hee.

Imagine Yogurt with a J. It is real. Jogurt. It’s cute.

Hispanic prawn what? This is english provided menu, thank god. Reading German is like reading a made-up cartoon language on the care bears. I dunno. I know that’s really ignorant, but words are just SO LONG.

I had Fanta vodka. YOLO

Those are good signs for British people.

You’re kidding me. Love it.

The tables were covered in papers, so many menus, we were sitting in wooden church pew-like booths and everything had that old classic look and feel to it. Authentasia.

The outside. We ran around lost for a long time getting colder and colder and finally I made us ask someone and then we found this place. It’s like finding a giganticer Yorkville, Distillery, Old Mtl, etc. BUT real deal Germania.

And you don’t understand a thing.

A yuppie told us to go here. His kinda place. Okaaay. linen service place. I guess it’s a compliment. It had more of a work drinks vibe to it.

Cuckoo clock shit like this everywhere. My favourite.

A lone man smoking here, I doubled back and took a photo of the lemons, the moment.

That’s the man there. Each tiny place was cookie cutter Paddington bear set in nature.

Like seriously.

Took quite a bit to settle/decide on where to eat. This was a cafe that boasted, like, Timothys, but was really a restaurant, a proper one. I’m not a picky eater anymore, just selector. Because I hate being settled then realizing you’re in a hole or their menu is ridiculous. Food snob all the way forever more and nothing but. Deal with it.

Forgot to bring smokes, bf had to buy some here. They have cigarette machines everywhere here in abundance like the 70’s. 80’s. Super time warp.

Sure. A spot light behind a terra cotta Jesus’ biblical times water vase, cliche whatever have fun.

Okay that is good. It’s so nice there.

Lots of Gothic black roofs. It’s their thing. You can tell by the stripe in their flag.

Moving over to Holland, I discovered this particular favoured way of marketing this particular feature film. #interesting. and #goodluckwiththat does it work?

Speaking of Germany, had just gotten back from there this evening.

I left this coat for sister. She doesn’t know that yet.

What I had for Linner in Germany. I thought I ordered something more mexican but received gyro Greek. Okay then. I still love this place.

Huge burgers if Big Macs were flat and round like massive saucers.

Catching up on my local fashion cultures.

This was before NYE, we were like hmm what to do/want to do that but we are old. Still it was fun and exciting. I’m a big fan of “before” anticipation. I’m sure you love a pre-game too.

Classic retro repro posters hang everywhere, mirrors so you can spy on everything and person. We came in during a Vanilla sky sunset. Can’t forget the magic of Christmas ornaments donning everything everywhere.

That’s a festival bracelet. Tiny bolts are on the other side, stacked.

He explained this one to me but I forget. Go for it.

Dick Tracy lights.

Sith Lord what.

Jesus. Ballin’. I always do a good 2 avocados a week from the couch. Rock salt and lime guy.

My last Friday in Holland, went for a Fridate bender and that’s my beloved tree in the back yard and it was misting. Then my hat fell in a puddle. Hehaha.

Baha don’t ask. Bottom left is what gingerale looks like over there and it’s hard to find but has since been easier or they order more at our grocery store finally.

This is back in Holland now.

Yep I look stupid it is not just your imagination but maybe no game is my game.

I love this part of Holland.

I am tired now/need to move along. To be continued. Oh, I’m up for a travel category blog award now as well as life time achievement and life. ZZzz bye!

The post this speaks to my heart appeared first on Raymi the Minx.

Here’s a post I began, don’t know when, but abandoned sure enough off to somewhere with no time to spare. I’m back now in Canada and completely brain fried. Yay. I know that I hated my prawn pasta dinner but was too much of a priss to send back so I soldiered through. This was my last Friday in Holland. Sigh. Guess I’m still a delicate infant in denial. Glad to be back at work to occupy me of course, and be social. I go back Monday.

More soon!

The post not everything but a lot of things appeared first on Raymi the Minx.

Here’s my afternoon backwards in Osnabruk, Germany. Just some highlights cos we’re on the way out again to see sis and our buddy.

Now not to be a dick here but, if a Canadian chef went to Germany to do their thing they would kill it on account of the zero competition. I’ll throw a “just saying” on that for good measure. I’m just talking about the salads, I dunno, it is all classic style generally for the most part.

Well there’s a painting.

Deer head in a tree FTW.

TURN OFF DAS LICHT!

I watched the book thief last night, which is also set in an old charming German town.

These “Usies” were dimly backlit so by this point I was making face like that.

This is the town he came to buy his first ipad ever. It was cheaper in Germany.

This weirdo building sticks up all adorable like that godddd.

Their walking man is the best too.

Woah.

Scarf from mom I have no idea how to wear at this point in time.

My hair day ruled though and you can see the platinum tips. Time to dye.

Gotta go round two begins.

The post OH NO FOMO appeared first on Raymi the Minx.

Hi Christmas bros! Now, before fake-apologizing for my absence lets just get to it kay? Above is my tree. There is something satisfying about picking out a live tree, buying lights for it. Dressing it. Zzzzz. Blah blah, I made that shit son!

I love this scarf. Mostly in part because I selected it myself and have already mentally envisioned said self wearing it in various states of hanging out/working. Pumped.

Went for a Christmas walk today. I turned it kinda into aerobics, here I am side stepping – jumping rather. IIIIINTENSE. I also ran too. We ate early because sister had to work so my stuff was all said and done before you guys even woke up.

Watch out. Be careful. Thank you for your visit. Except w/o grammar.

Typical Dutch home, usually on a lot of land. Farms. Stereotypical awesomeness.

Look at the no snow. Also, it’s very mild. We had a crazy windstorm a couple days in a row and yesterday it rained uber gloomily yet you had spirit aboutcha from the xmas eve vibe. We had a fun day. Saw a movie with sis and her friend AND they sell beer there AND you get a pee break “pause” mid-flick, but mostly it’s for smokers which is also awesome. It makes movie night more social, less boring. Plus the movie concessions are bizarro world selections and you can get funnel cake-like deep-fried balls called: oliebol, half the posters are in Dutch. I mean all of them. But the movies are the same as back home. But with Dutch subtitles at the bottom. Everything is basically a trip. It’s all the same but different and you are constantly wondering if everyone is lookin at you because you look different or is it because you look the same but awesome?? Head buster.

Pauze is like break assumedly. I understand 15% of what people are saying and zone out the rest so it’s a massive mental holiday too for real. Starting to accrue funny verbal interactions with strangers moments as well note to self. Some assume I am American and yes, I do get attitude.

I got spoiled.

At his parent’s place. The girls were out smoking when we drove up they were dressed all nice it was a cute moment. I then connected to how mild it was here than in Canada as I saw them out on this balmy bench – they removed the plants to sit. I wouldn’t have thought of that.

The days are shorter because The Netherlands are more north. Less daylight and so daylight, is valued.

At sister’s last night before the movie, her and mom said I’m thinner. I’ve gained a kilo+ (3-5lbs?) since being here omg there is just so much to enjoy. YOLO.

Bike material for daaaaaaaaaaaays. All the pics will be slightly better too, this camera is ballin’ I almost forgot.

Then there are the food differences and just blowing tons of money at the supermarket, cheese is amazing, so is chocolate. Meat. Snacks. I am going to miss the light OJ, the getting booze from within the supermarket, these stick chips. SIGH.

Fashion is hot too. I will definitely be treating myself to some of that before I leave and I finally have the time to just do it period. I will also be most definitely paying extra for luggage weight on the way back. Early January are the sales too. I think that one’s pretty international though.

EYEROLL.

Oh here’s why people were staring, I looked like Peter Pan: Christmas Jiminiy Cricket edition. I was close to getting a pair of boots but patience was at an all time low. Ankle boots are in, I wanted a low heel pair but they had to be the best pair of the 200 or so varieties AND at best value (deep inner-seeded cheapstake syndrome) but bf left store and I was like “this shopping is about US!” Bahahahah. Then I started crying and we were like ok F-T, shopping is officially over. I know I’ll go get them once they’re all on super sale in January. I was angry because he made me suffer ADD-HELL boredom while he looked for a coat and fair is fair, you have to help me pick out boots and make this chore easier. You’d think shopping would be enjoyable. Nope!

Seeing everyone on these, and bikes, is really inspirational. Kids, young girls with long hair in braids just like tooling around it’s another life. You can ride town to town on the bike paths along the roadway, or all the way to Amsterdam and not have to be anxious about highway bullshit.

Bike dramas everywhere. Hey man he fell. The wind knocked over tons of bikes. The forest today had a lot of fallen over trees. We are storm junkies.

You’re welcome!

The difference is there’s relish in it. I relish the thought. I heard they were going to discontinue making relish because nobody likes it. Where did I hear that? Lol either way.

Haha aw. Our necklace is talking.

I got this half. I suppressed screaming out something like I’VE ALWAYS WANTED A SISTER. Like, the forever side could be anything she could just lie like she doesn’t mean it (haha hyper-insecurity sets in).

Why are you wearing red though? Red is my thing. Red is the jam on my bread. (it’s okay I am just joking we can share). It’s funny though we always show up kind of matching. #getoutofmyhead.

German steakhouse time. All of these have been backward by the way. I’ll turn the rest around now so the meal portion of the post makes sense.

Wearing my new Ralph Lauren sweater for the first time. I had a red one similar to it, maybe it was Tommy? Either way, I tend to have a red sweater at all times if I can manage it. Wow, this drivel is tops eh, are you on auto-pilot right now? hello tap tap.

Upon trying to decide where to go, bf was like a-ha I know the place! The staff dress up in tradish German Oktoberfest gear and break out into dance flash mobs to, you guessed it: traditional German tunes a la European vacation beer garden scene.

We have one of these in the back garden here. I love that sh–. (Bilbo’s home from the shire is at the movie theatre too, perfect).

So much chemistry. Stop. I can’t deal.

This was above our heads. I was like, does he know how ridiculously risky it is to bring me to a place like this? To Santa’s %^$%# village? And I got to watch a staff party comprised of dudes all drinking and talking in their funny talk and some with Legola’s length ponytail hair, does he want me to die right [expletive] now? I ate a Steak in Santa’s cafeteria basically and it was awesome.

And I ate Rudolph while I was at it! Just kidding!! That has nothing to do with reindeer, but we don’t know. German is even more impossible for me to comprehend.

We didn’t even finish these. Amateurs. Wasn’t in a beer mood. We ordered a lot of food which influenced that likely.

Wooden menus. No stone unturned. Commitment.

This was our first time dining out since I arrived. We had a nice homecoming love-in whatever. When you finally leave nest your pupils are all dilated in a mysterious where am I? sense, and it’s dark already of course. I didn’t see daylight for awhile when I arrived. Then I was stuffing my face in Christmas Town like WTF is going on O_O?? heheh.

What do they do when it’s not Christmas? This stuff should just stay up forever.

No matter where you go, there is always carpaccio. That not only rhymes but should be the country’s subline. #freeadvice #justsaying. #copywriter

Mushrooms and ribs. Bf hasn’t really been out eating either so we’re a food club again and have to go on a lot more walks now otherwise it’ll be the salad club #boring.

This guy beats the steaks we ordered last night. I’ll get to that later, the service was not good. We were cool as cucumbers though but then every gaff made the dining snob etiquette beast from within arise more and more. A staff party was going on in the other side of the hotel. The thing is, every place you go to here is ornately and exquisitely Christmasly decked out which makes you think they really care about you. Well, they don’t. Then your anger just builds from there. I said you’re supposed to leave a restaurant feeling satisfied and happy, not angrier. BF laughed. I notice all the service fuck ups long before him, then I stop mentioning them privately to him then he starts to notice too because they just keep happening, then the second server takes over because the first one can’t deal. Which is a hand-off classic in the industry. Lets start with menus, can we have those? We didn’t ask for 15 minutes. The girl was just clued-out. Moving on.

Sides. French fries country. MMM.

Garlic sauce and butter country likewise. Kiss your diet goodbye bro.

My doggy bags, Ribs and potatoes. I will probably need to get my cholesterol checked when I get home. Ha.

What time is it?? Anyway this is over for today. Glad to be back, I missed blogging my heart out. Merry Christmas to you and yours and have a wonderful New Year (if you have time). Thanks for being great internet friends and all that. Bye, RLW.

The post Hollandaise Holidaze appeared first on Raymi the Minx.

Okay okay blergh blah here’s some life of Raymi now.

Please don’t be offended by this, be offended by other things but not this. We were playing the secret middle finger game and he got a pic of me in action and I was like, I look great under a table! This is dinner in Holland Friday night it was outtasite!

This is my lady Bieber jacket he’s like what? Beaver? Yeah that too. Luckily this sports bra works as a wicked bathing suit top and isn’t see-through wuhoo double layer. Miley wears one in her new video can someone tell her to stop biting her bottom lip “all gangster” please. Now in the category of just saying I did white sports bra first. Life is a contest. Only when you win by accident though, when I lose “I don’t care”.

Sunday. Germany.

And now without the older version of us. Learned that Sunday is not a good day to come here if one is fungry. I didn’t mind at them moments the sun was out it was quite spectacular looking up at the castle but the young family beside us and their precocious toddler girl kept running into the street and the doofus dad was barely watching her, we got stressed.

I didn’t wear makeup or sunglasses and with sun in my face and dumb smile I look like Sam Crenshaw. My Canadian readers love when I say that. It’s cos my eyes get squinty like his and my “aristocratic” nose.

At da club. My arms strike a balance between toned not fat but not toned. Time for more triceps.

This pizza was great I can’t remember what it was called but it had meats on it mushrooms, red onion, and it was super good.

Oysters were fishy. But still good. Fishy bad though, can’t deal. Dealt.

German for Car wash. You learn just so much here don’t you.

Off to castle.

Hi.

So many crazy downhill lanes, I walked back to the car to grab my coat to sit on and I had to super pay attention to my foot placement between the cobblestones my ankle is already wicked f–ed. But yesterday I forced myself to run, more of a fast stupid looking jog but still progress. I CAN run from zombies. Yes in answer to your internal observation my boobs DO look huge. My face looks like that cos I didn’t want to pose here I wanted the wall with the classic red triangle shutters. All my photo “poses” are candid for the most part cos no one has patience around here.

RRrrrrrowsers. Sitting in the sun on the only sun patio part makes you feel special, chosen. The sun has chosen me. Everyone looks, you feel observed so you have to smile or ignore, two options.

Days before then I can’t remember which one lets say last Monday it was hot so after the beach then the Germany pool we stayed in Germany to have Greek dinner yum. They gave complimentary shots of ouzo at the beginning of the meal, very smart business that. As he was taking his sip after we “proost” (cheersed) I said see you on the other side of our fight and he laugh spat ouzo everywhere, ZING.

Nails look manky here but they match his shorts. BTW the wasterslides at that pool are intense and the kids, omg passive aggressive as hell hogging the slides once they got to the top and just SIT THERE I’m like are you gonna move kid? My English speaking persuasion held no power there WTF!

Move please.

It was sunnier earlier and still very warm. Patio watching is a great past time.

MMMMMMMMMMMMmmmm. Calamari and (Hardest word ever) tzatziki is SO GOOD.

Wow my hair looks so much more red back then I want to dye it every 2 weeks to keep building the colour up the ends are lightening already.

Pool water curly. Today my hair is like super long a ringa ding dong.

Sometimes the “holy shit” handles are actually necessary.

Feets in Germany belly fulla Greek.

Don’t look now a German sunset. Okay look treat yo’self.

To think guys at home get my sunset sloppy seconds six hours later AND FACE. I’ll stop talking like that. Eventually.

I was getting conceited from my Alicia Silverstoner hair flip in the sun.

Bun hair helps make the curl and lake water plus pool plus lets go now right now.

Of course you are called Fritz.

If I didn’t tell you this was on the border of Germany/Holland you’d think it was Wasaga or MTL.

I am really gonna miss this fucking place. Life is a journey. Where to next.

To the German waters. Ducks and birds got all territorial at us and swarmed us but of course we had no food. Had to hold my flip flop up at certain points, I don’t care I’ll slap a duck if I have to. Those beak pecks are vicious. Vroom vroom time to vacuum! OUTTIE.

The post Sinfluence. appeared first on Raymi the Minx.

Just before it started pissing and hollering out yesterday. It was still pretty warm, I like when weather sits on its head like that.

2:30 in the afternoon darkness. A gypsy earring represents.

Here I’m thinking how great an idea flip flops was.

Spooky starts to settle in. You should probs be listening to the Black Keys for this.

TWO THIRTY. Storm’s a comin’.

Driving to Germany. Took an interesting route to the border where there’s no sign and I wouldn’t know we’d crossed over unless he pointed it out. He pointed it out.

Nice fence.

Afternoon high beams.

Storms scare and excite me.

Lost highway.

Can you tell the difference between the unhappy and the happy (he had a ring on she didn’t) couple? I can.

It was guzzling out and so had an inclusive atmosphere about it.

High ceilings in Gatsby style.

And everybody watched everybody else just a little bit.

It was late so it was almost like early dinner I suppose and we ordered as such.

Just me and my friend. She’s looking at the camera in the other pics so cute. The more people realize I only speak English the more peculiar I am and insane everything I do looks. Today at the pool the lifeguard this big burly awesome lesbo was like she doesn’t speak Dutch. Then hogged my bf for 5 minutes about us getting a pool membership and I was like PEACE and got to changing. I think I carried a butch vibe with me today. Oh and we act like children when we go to the pool anyway (WATERSLIDE AND POOL TOYS HELLO) so that makes us uber approachable in that people think they can dominate us. WRONG. A lone wolf aerobics old gal smiled at me a lot every time I passed her in the pool going inside and out and up to the water slide like I felt she was going you go girl in her head to me in Dutch LOL. Just think if I had said Hi to her all English her eyes would have boggled right out of her fucking head. I loved her. All dumpling and Dutch floating with a fluorescent pool noodle not doing any of the aquafit shit at all.

It’s a geezer state here, grey state he called it. A generation of people were skipped, didn’t produce babies anymore so you see old folks everywhere, they’re my peers now. I can handle it because it makes me feel about as grown up as I am. Which isn’t much. Like oh hello there sweetie here have some candy, thanks Grandma!

People watching here was the greatest. When you sit sibe-by-side grouchy Muppets old men style it kinda just happens.

See that rain. See that girl smiling at me? Annoying right. Like I’m taking a picture of the rain I wanted to sign to her then eventually did but she ignored that WTF! I am trying to alleviate the paranoia you do not have about me possibly taking your picture. The woman to our left kept thinking I was looking at her when in actuality I was checking out how rain frizzy my hair could possibly look so it was like OKAY CAN NO LONGER LOOK OVER THERE NOW. Which meant I was going to look ten times more. Then I noticed she had a beer and was in a super good mood, no ring, he was older and had one on: AFFAIR. He pretend joke choked her too I was like that’s that all about, Nigella?

I just attention deficit disordered myself for a second there lotsa multi-tasking going on around here. I knew if we got up early today for a swim we’d prematurely exhaust ourselves like seniors.

That’s me.

I spy. He spy.

Pina colada (PENIS COLADA) and pinot grigio party. I hallucinated that that drink accessory was a sparkler on its way over like WOAH Germany you craze.

But why is this a picture in the menu for like, hobos welcome? Come on over for a big nap do whatever the hell you want.

Bread comes with everything here everywhere and all of the time when in doubt throw some bread on it. Perfect for our ducks.

Nice cheeseburger where the fuck is it?

I want a big mac now thanks a lot me.

Seriously where did it go? I guess Germany takes it’s “Hamburg”ers seriously. (Dad that one was for you). Should I go to The Cavern Club? Where The Beatles were discovered by Brian Epstein (everyone else obvs dad knows that).

TO GO BREAD PITT.

Then an older version of comfortable silence us arrived for a drink and watched the rain.

Thanks for the good times Germany. This is my more Euro look when I don’t wear under eyeliner and do a tiny-eyed smoking cigarettes Patti Smith french chick thing. I’m wearing black aerobics shorts too.

News photog reporting the news of rain. 400+ people called 911 yesterday for rain, except over here 911 is 112. Isn’t that a band name?

Now I’m listening to this and it’s been hours since I first started this super post. I gots other tings I gots to do boo. BF distraction. We are kind of like a siamese twin. Jeopardy answer.

That pink shift shirt has teeny bling all over the shoulder part. YAY. Unicorn level now.

I didn’t want to make a gorillas in the mist joke but too late. A bit Jurassic Park. There are not many high points in Holland, this is one of them. If not all? It’s high but not that high I’ve been higher lol Snoop.

It was better before these but we didn’t have a camera or a phone, I left it at home for “us time” then we got killed by wicked awesome fog everywhere cos it was still so light out (solstice, holla) and he made us drive all the way home to get the camera for these. Crazy is as crazy does. It was kinda hot?

He was wearing Steve Irwin tourist shorts too so it was more exploratory. We’re both escapists in a constant state of the great outback travel consumption way. Not going to get in to the plans but he’s hyper active and sights on a few places we’ll be heading soon, just wait and see but omg this photo right.

Just as dark at 10pm as it was in the afternoon. But light slowly turning dark. Being on another planet in another world which I am.

And now out my window. They were better before the fog thickened you could see the distance and height for miles, different levels of trees just the tops peeking out of the fog ultra Lord of the Rings. Hella mist it was so moving I guess he was like that’s it camera time. It was beautiful.

This is the craziest placed house, so close to the road one of these days someone’s going to drive through it trying to get around that gingerbread bend. I ADORE this house.

Hell yeah.

Time for some U2. Or Jeff Buckley.

We watch a lot of car shows too.

I wonder which shows I watch you watch. Top Gear anybody? Wheeler dealers trading up? Idiot Abroad has ended. Dealers, fast ‘n loud?

Ooh I want this for my timeline. Chose a diff one instead. Tonight it’s gonna be light til midnight right? ILU Summer Wheatley (name that reference).

LOVE THIS ONE. Pavarotti oh my god.

I’ve never been in here but they have everything. Read: WINE BOOZE FOOD SMOKES life essentials.

Zombie weather.

This belongs hashtagged on tumblr as pale blog. WTF is that all about? Kids use pastel photos only and like really artistic and depressed pictures of girls sitting sad on bed with long hair and skinny bodies. I think all teenagers are depressed it looks like and they have a penchant for equestrian and cigarettes.

Hi Stephen King.

Landscape painting. Road trip porn.

Reminds me of TBay.

And zombies. Why do zombies get to run really fast in Dawn of the Dead? Thanks to films like that there’s a show called Dooms day Preppers. If there is nuclear fallout 1. you’re going to be instantly wiped out and 2. Zombies? As if. Stop wasting your time. Maybe, MAYBE “if the system shuts down” we’ll have a vigilante state of emerge and thus need to go all “The Road” (chilling) and need guns and armour and okay fine but I’m not living my life like that.

You watch a lot of tv, you get a load of crap in the form of differing world opinions and inevitably get your own opinion on everything that there is at some point in life and now was my time to talk about dooms day divas. Lets never discuss this ever again.

I live for the now. But maybe I should take up boxing.

You can’t rain on my parade but you can rain on my garden. TGIF BYE!

The post LIFE SLAY appeared first on Raymi the Minx.