After a while there were too many “not surprised” moments to even count. Too bad Hobbit was snoresville. I gave it two tries, passed out during both times. In the theatre with my brother to be fair we were pretty inebriated and the 3D glasses were tripping me out hard like a chilled out Bilbo before Gandalf shows up.

Now his haircut looks like this.

And a little of that.

The barber said it was high fashion. Next time I am going with. It was expensive too and not “a barber” and there were pictures of it in a reputable mag so I suppose it’s a prospective hair trend forecast. The guy said there’s a bar in Amsterdam where lots of bad asses go and drink, they all have this haircut combined with long beards. Sounds Queen west to me. Sons of Anarchy style. I think on beard growth scruff days it’ll look hot.

It’s grown on me now though. We are so in love he could be covered in dog shit and I would be like “That looks incredible honey!”

That’s what’s up player haters. Damn you look good.

Did I ever look like my Nana though, that little Manchester meatball holy sensible sweater and shoes I look like their endless vacation photos, posing by a greek fountain on a cruise trip blaha. I was one of the best and most fabulously (slutty) dressed. I am a rock star everywhere we go, even when dressed like a slob. Anyone you know with a Toronto-sized ego needs to come experience it, intoxicating. Thrilling when you get a bar star hater too. Our waitress yesterday stared RIGHT AT ME every time she walked/panned the room we were like wtf? And the more she did it the more snappy things I had to say about every one of her looks once she was safely out of ear shot. Half of it is my fault because I poured on the drippy George Clooney voice once it was my turn to speak as she asked me what I wanted to drink. I was every fucker at The Thompson, “do you speak english?” in an of course you do you’ve waited for this moment for many years tone of voice. Not many people speak english here. Nothing is in english in the papes or tabloids but they have a Hollywood curiosity, adore celebs too and that washes off on you when you speak like an American.

Representing Playboy Energy drank abroad makes me feel like a porn star and burn a little crimson under the skin. Get ready for the added attention, prepare thyselves fellow divas. Toronto’s snobby street ignoring contest culture dies over the water and you’re gonna like shit a lot more. Jules said when she left tdot she noticed how much of a bubble it truly is. Toronto does think it’s the center of the universe. People are actually nicer in New York I find. And they say New Yorkers are assholes. True they are, you will get bitch slapped ten times easier in NY than Toronto but I think people in Toronto are just sick of each other and all stacked on top of one another and at the same few bars the same crowd go to, you have to keep seeing all the same faces. I just like breaks from it is all I have done everything like I am about to repeat absolutely the same things I did last summer in Toronto? Cool, island, yeah here’s the hipster beach zzz.

Aruba spoiled me. But he wants to see Toronto and what better girl to host that by. It will be fun I know, and at least it isn’t fall. My schedule is already starting to fill we just need to find a place for a few months.

The dog owner was a young chick. A goth emo hipster. What are those called now?

I guess that’s her bf carrying her purse. Daps on that. It is the eternal life challenge to con guys in to carrying your shit for you.

Guys were like F T and that’s when purses were invented and then we had to figure out how to get you guys to carry those too.

I was getting stared at like crazy standing here plus by the guy with the ewok bagpipes (you can see it in the screen shot!) and I’m like GET HERE WITH THE BEER NOW communicating telepathically then I’m stunned it’s cherry beer even though I just asked for cherry beer. I think sitting in the sun checking out don’ts on that bench fried my brains a little and how!

Loved their tunes though. Um I kind of want to be the main Maiden of all this world just saying. I so totally look like Arwen don’t even try to deny it. I have 300 photos as proof. Not that I can find them right now I just wasted 20 minutes. Okay I found one.

Bad ass.

Hey Tyler this is the night we met and I made the ballsiest move ever and introduced myself.

Oh look me and K-OS. Long story. Not really. Lols.

Me n Brucey. Being starstruck by people who are back at you, makes your heart go mad.

Time to get ill.

Looking kinda Mortal Kombat now. I saw the tent where all that guy’s stuff is, I took a picture of this armour. Then I saw it in action.

And now he is definitely staring at me click and see.

And now he is fucking killing everyone!! Bahahaa. This guy went all Shanghai. I had no idea what I was staring at when this was all going down. The sun, the, lack of attention span, beer. It was all trippy though.

On to the next thing.

People watching from up here is good. It’s like Dawn of the dead? The smart ass from modern family pointing out zombie Burt Reynolds and so on but for me it was like oh look there’s that family from earlier. Dad looks tired. We saw German Ozzy Osbourne too, rolling a smoke. Is there a German Ozzy impersonator though? Def a Zombie Ozzy. I have pictures of him. I didn’t actually upload the second half of my fair photos yet this is just left over from part I jeez Louise.

Biggest dog ever. More like horse. It was just a baby too. It looks like the keeper at the gates of Hell, I have never seen a bigger breed of dog. It’s a Dutch something I’ll source for you later on when I post the rest of it. This guy who just stepped out of Jack and the beanstalk had to protect me from him when I got closer. Do you have a permit for that dinosaur bro?

Surreal.

Thanks lady. No really, I think it adds. I’m not being sarcastic. For once.

Gotta go. Homework to hand in. Auf Wiedersehen!

ps. some people have said there’s been probs with my contact form (intermittently) plus they can’t add me on FB cos I am too amazing I have to add you sooo here’s my e-addy just in case – raymitheminxATgmail.com – write to me for any reason under the sun. Put a dollar sign in the subject though if it’s about the good stuff lols. Or if you’re lonely and want a pen pal, listen lady or you have insomnia as I’m 6 hours ahead of you and usually awake or have your email prepared for my morning because I have 6 hour of extra time to get shit done seen! pps. picking up my new bike today.

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This makes me very happy. Each time I look at it.

Props of Raymi Luhren!

View out resto window.

Things were getting messy at this point and it was time to eat again thank god for this Mexican place near Pianos.

Yup.

Rockwood bathroom I believe.

Beer porn.

Cute pocket bar j’adore. I was naughty and had pizza.

Girl DJ.

Not bad for the first night. New York will slaughter you if you let it.

That drank is from the after hours below the hotel woah bro time warp this ain’t your average after hours like in Toronto you have to watch yourself a little more that being said I was annihilated and thus invincible.

Prob why I have an ear infection right now. It was not warm out.

Original shot.

Like in a Braveheart kingdom you are engulfed in the LES contained within each many many a city block is some mysterious dark candle lit shit like this. I love it. Drawn to it, within. Bar porn.

Burg porn. I had a box of organic whole food slop and it was mega delicious. We went to WF lots.

Love this couple trying to get the wizard man in the blanket behind for rebeccugh.

I chose apple even though the other two were just as too adorable for words.

Puck building.

Christbreakfastmas at the grey dog I wish I wasn’t so hung at this point in time it would have been more enjoyable. Cute place.

OMG right. The building in the wind allegedly changes and ripples takes light from the sun, whatever, how mesmerizing.

Oops.

Fennel mmmm. It isn’t for everyone.

Skate tacos. Macondo.

Kale, smoked herring, goat cheese. Intense.

Oysters too. How amazing is my phone’s camera eh?

Okay bye TGIF!

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Gobble gobble, stupids.

My friend BechNEAT and I went to the first annual Toronto Oktoberfest the other night, and it was good. Even though she made us take the streetcar there. So we equipped thyselves accordingly.

I derno what the classier part of the night was, drinking in a gutter (alright, libville curb stop) or wearing a halloween costumed-dirndl over my jeans. We are putting that in the “not giving a f–” category.

They wanted me in the costume competition but we bailed before then. Raymi waits for no one, nothing. Knew I wouldn’t win anyway plus too shy.

I’ll wait for that though.

We got free beer upon entrance. Raymbecca is allergic to wheat. There were zero gluten-free beers on offer. I was like, I bet Tyskie was about to throw a gluten free keg in the truck and then the last minute they were like are you crazy don’t bother.

An older version of Raymbecca hung out with us for a bit, they liked my headwreath and were like TAKE YOUR JACKET OFF like approving fun older moms with jackets around their waist. I like to be on the edge of a party staring in to the abyss of it, drinking a beer, making zero eye-contact with anyone and saying an invisibility spell, dressed as look-at-me as possible. It was a great people-watching scene. People watching on beer watching people drink beer. I promoted this event so, why not?

The banners are a nice touch. I love medieval ribbons and all that garbage. How many people asked us if we were going to Kitchener for this LOL. No, the TORONTO Oktoberfest do you have a listening problem?

Yeah, I dig the fairy culture big time one doesn’t need to hard-press for that info. I was like this is the last time I am wearing this thing ever, I am so retiring it. One of the sleeves is getting manky. Maybe it lends a charm/qual?

There were some Beauty & The Beast-Belle lookin’ girls up in the joint, I love Disney, secret-obsessively. This was the sheet-show we took over to The Drake to take in some tunes down in the whatever they call the main room of the Drake, not the stairs and not the below-below. People in the know know what I am talking about right now but let me know when you want me to stop speaking industry at any time. I might start doing stand-up again.

Back to Raymality now.

More like Pee-Wee Hermanvision. I found this to be profound.

Potato us. I liked them. Edge of a party peeps.

I interrupted their meal for photos. They were the wood chopper dancer guys. You know the one’s Chevy Chase gets in a lederhosen battle with in Euro Vacay aka I was starstruck?

No it’s not the actual bros but may as well be when you’re gettin’ tanked at Oktoberfest. Give’r Lebowskis. Lots of Germans in the joint. It was a trip. See why I kept my pants on? Ps. why is it so funny to watch men dance? Lol.

Just perfect. “This guy gets a thousand points for even trying.” Oh totally for sure, ‘cept they were both performers for the event so it’s easier.

Clearly we were most intrigued by this bro and how. I am like, someone’s grandpa? Totally down for the TDot-Okt count? What is this back story and where can I get that bag? Is this your dad if you are reading this? Did he win a prize for being the best chief in the house? Please tell him what’s up.

Seconds later cowboy guy mosies on in. Raymbecca laughed all night. I think live-podcasting parties would be hilarious. Look there’s a guy holding a fern and now two drunk chicks just close-lined a frat boy I have no idea where I am right meow lol.

Then I found my next drink from Andre the Giant. A guy who runs the show, part thereof. I was like oh yeah I promoted too. He asks who my contact is, Dick, I say. That’s his name. Too good. Maybe the only swear word in this blog post.

See how not a trainwreck I was, I nursed my first one then he hooked me up with another. Isn’t it always a hunt for a deal addiction? Yes.

Bech took this one. Our favourite picture of the night.

Def some Lederhosen love spread B’s way too and look oh but of course cowboy guy has a gal. I like those boots Raymbex I know they will fit me too.

Cookie necklace message says it all. I texted this to B and she pointed out the girl in the dirndl behind the paper doll one. I am telling you this was a good time, I love freaky-deeky shit like this. Live for it.

Me plus me. Last time I was in this very hall I wore that dirndl and had that blond hair. Life is ________.

Bumped in to a chick who played the Roller derbs who made an impresh on me, I was on a charity (heart and stroke) date that I was purchased for at the time. We made contact but haven’t seen each other since. She was just as ripped as me, oh hi Raaaaaymi. Picture time. They just played the Gladstoner. It would take me half an hour to remember her band name by combing through my gmail so if you recognize her tell her the good word. Ya dang gots blogged. Total sweetie pie, I spied their opened roof top thing and posed by it, the rest is history that I just told you about.

Another reason I wore pants was because I wanted to be able to go out after Oktoberfest.

You can still see it peeking out like Donald Duck tails. Cute I thought, partially-intentional. I love being a dickhead so sue me.

Someone forgot their coat, like they evaporated. A Yellow Santa no doubt, those tricky wizards.

We weren’t done getting trashed yet and mini-Tanya next door was closing up so we said fine okay we will finish up at Motel. Craig met us. No big deal.

I have many stories from this bar but like it matters. I like shotgun bars, dim-lighting. Who doesn’t?

New shipment of PBE came through. Lemme know when you need some energy jagerbomb mix. Oh won’t that be a night.

Upon arrival. A freak amongst freaks. ’til next year #TOOKtoberfest.

It was loads more civilized than the St. Paddy’s party we went to once. Tables equal civilization. You are going to be sitting down to some serious drinking. It’s neat to be a media for things like this, it reinforces all the inflated sense-of-self crap coursing through me. Like beer goggle spy espionage. I likey. I’ll cover your event any time. raymitheminxATgmail.com wink and gun.

Time for that iphone any time now (blurrrrrrrrrrrrry) anywho what’s it like being hella tall?

Time to go bro. Watching my videos for all this now. Happy Thanksgiving Canada.

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