You don’t have to wear that dress tonight.

Perfs setting.

My bro’s boys cock-blocked and photobombed all night long. I had enough divas in my face so I was mellow yellow all around. It sucks when you get professional, you can’t talk shit anymore about people who deserve it. That’s why we have a little in-the-know clique.

I love the movie the fifth element so I chose this couple to win, The second to this pair was gary oldman’s character and says to me, Hello Raymi, it’s me the guy who works at Watusi (my shitty date bar) do you recognize me oh yeah hi! I love Watusi and they love me over there too, I’m their best customer! If I were a doorknob into foursquare I’d be mayor.

Once ZomboKini goes on it’s party time. It’s tradition for me to wear my zombie bikini at every burlesque show at the bovine now. awwdorable.

Hey Raymi!

Chris

At one point I said to teacher that I would make his other eye match his black eye, in front of the girls, to keep them in order, ahhaha it worked. Teacher is my point person and a vital part of our troupe and knows all our dances. Tough life much? He tells my dad all about Jazmin to wind him up.

Paddy I missed your cry me a river dance, how did it go?

Most confusing lipstick touch up ever.

By the Power of Grayskull gettin’ ready for the ball.

Can Skeletor get a plus one?

My new buddy rules, she used to skin snakes in the south and survived a garbage truck running over her. I do not hang with pussies. She’s also a talented artist/painter and has a very organized apartment. o_0.

As for me I look like p0rn0 Slitherin, Snape?

Started the night like this, it takes a lot of organizing keeping all your costume changes straight, remembering you can’t wear a certain thing cos it’s meant for a further set but the fun thing is hanging out in your outfit after your performance, stretch it out a little.

This got a bit of blood on it, I’ll cut those tutu parts off.

I love theatrical. Teacher said people were being reverential (respectful, quiet) during my blood solo yet the place was packed and it sounds dead. I was nervous but the show must go on, I don’t have time for nerves.

Welcome to the fabulous green room.

Dave (your right) told me all night long how proud he was of me and I was like all you gotta do is start a blog guy and he’s like NO REN SHUT THE F UP it’s more than that ahh wasted wisdoms are my favourite. I will trademark that.

Ha rando, teach went to get smokes and batteries.

Everyone should always come to the Bovine for last call there is nothing like trainwreck freaks all blathering about if you like to send your brain to far off howling hour places aka people who do drugs at concerts with visuals or I dunno, you know? All I’m saying is Christmas show is going to be epic the girls better start doing sit-ups cos I want to re-imagine a Victoria Secret runway with big angel wings. I’m going to dance as a reindeer, snowflakes, the mean girls sexy santa performance rip-off, oldies christmas jams I listen to at my Nana and Papa’s dreeeamy, play PeeWee’s Christmas special, or copy the entire thing. Slutty elves messing with you. I will try to hire some Little People too. Let me know if you know of one as self-exploitary as I am.

At the end of the night it’s a dance party and everyone spills on to the stage. i have a lot of great footage from our last party there, of course. Just too much.

Ew my shoulder haha it’s like texas chainsaw massacre. Poor Red Velvet’s bf (hot chef guy) missed her solo by five minutes :(.

The bikini bottoms are pretty saggy on me now.

Someone’s discarded Jack-o-lantern of course I had to dance in it for a little bit.

That’s Freddy Mercury.

That nurse sexually assaulted me, numerous times grabbing my nay-nay and teacher said her boyfriend said she does that, a lot. Yeah no shit. I have to come up with a diplomatic genteel way to handle these situations. A man said the dirtiest shit in my ear about what he would do to me, to his wife as well and then I put him on stage and she stared up, seething at us. YIKES. He was clueless to my involvement with the bovine, no I am not merely some bloody naked scene-appropriate girl, I’m the headlining act and now, come with me. All the best costumes had left by the time we had a moment to do the prize cash giveaways.

Recovery from the weekend which spilled in to Monday and I ended up going out after all as Pamela.

This one is less vulgar than the last one, which, I am proud of. Every day it is like being a new person the more toned and vampy I become, I am making a monster.

Some other indian thing we ate, we get those pouches you throw in to boiling water. Looks like beans on toast eh? Way better, I hate beans. Gross.

Pasta and sauce, I seldom have pasta so I make sure to have it when my metabolism is high functioning as it is now.

Pam always wore furry raver hats and big shades. Bad fashion and I paired it with my cheesy running shoes, as no one would be looking at my feet but it completes the fitness Baywatch fashionless intent.

Stephen suggested ditching my pants only at the last possible minute, tease them til the end. It was freezing anyway.

Do I keep these feather earrings? Please tell me! Tired of asking!

Good for a performance but a one trick pony? They were expensive.

I don’t look so tired here. Asshole.

Roots coming in, appt today.

I look like my dad as a teen here. I have lots of different looks.

Hahah. I have two red berets so I could make a dance out of that. And now TWO legit lifeguard outfits!

Ok final verdict, keep earrings or not.

So nostalgic for sunny days.

That’s ginger beer over there, I am obsessed with it.

Think how good I would look photoshopped and airbrushed like all professional models in magazines. A colleague said he thought it was impressive that I post all 100% raw material, editing nothing.

My reaction to first slipping this on made me LOL.

Halloween burlesque explosion. Teacher is home today cleaning. It’s part of my present, for what I don’t know. Well, I do. We are in the bubble phase again. Ooh I look ripped and no that’s not a camel toe.

See, err, don’t rather but you know, there isn’t enough camel to warrant a toe lol. Which is why the night of Wolf parade that guy screaming CAMEL TOE out at me was such pure bullshit, I know I do not have a camel toe, it was my onesie jumper. I got bullied by six drunk losers at a shitty party, I’ll find the post, one of the promoters was mortified because they didn’t know they were beaking off to raymi the minx and it was one of the other promoters who joined in the rallying and were all completely in the wrong. Lucas did you ever find her?

No one believed that Henry would ever actually quit.

The cats were really bored without the dog and fought more but also enjoyed their extra attention and grey cat is getting territorial over me when Stella comes near, to protect me from the cat who is protecting me from the dog. Yes it is the funny farm here, come for tea wont you!

Sunday Salvation. It is the day of the Lord after all.

Hot solo hipster brunch dudes.

Gaga wore a mesh suit thing in Telephone. I had one of these at 19 when I was an online p0rno model. Yeah, I said it.

And here my brains are being blown inside out by this height.

Will show you the video. Blog Slave OG saw it and was like WOW I am so doing this in Spring.

Ugly Raymi and Tom. Why won’t they dye her poor roots? :(.

Many essentials. My Godmother slammed in to a concrete pillar after this night $1500 later oh boy. We are doing something this weekend or when mom? It’s their birthdays one day apart. Pray for Raymeh.

Teach got a “leather” coat out of a halloween costume bag and a wig, which looks dumb but maybe I can make work?

OK time to look at some photos we just took. BYE!

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