Gobble gobble, stupids.

My friend BechNEAT and I went to the first annual Toronto Oktoberfest the other night, and it was good. Even though she made us take the streetcar there. So we equipped thyselves accordingly.

I derno what the classier part of the night was, drinking in a gutter (alright, libville curb stop) or wearing a halloween costumed-dirndl over my jeans. We are putting that in the “not giving a f–” category.

They wanted me in the costume competition but we bailed before then. Raymi waits for no one, nothing. Knew I wouldn’t win anyway plus too shy.

I’ll wait for that though.

We got free beer upon entrance. Raymbecca is allergic to wheat. There were zero gluten-free beers on offer. I was like, I bet Tyskie was about to throw a gluten free keg in the truck and then the last minute they were like are you crazy don’t bother.

An older version of Raymbecca hung out with us for a bit, they liked my headwreath and were like TAKE YOUR JACKET OFF like approving fun older moms with jackets around their waist. I like to be on the edge of a party staring in to the abyss of it, drinking a beer, making zero eye-contact with anyone and saying an invisibility spell, dressed as look-at-me as possible. It was a great people-watching scene. People watching on beer watching people drink beer. I promoted this event so, why not?

The banners are a nice touch. I love medieval ribbons and all that garbage. How many people asked us if we were going to Kitchener for this LOL. No, the TORONTO Oktoberfest do you have a listening problem?

Yeah, I dig the fairy culture big time one doesn’t need to hard-press for that info. I was like this is the last time I am wearing this thing ever, I am so retiring it. One of the sleeves is getting manky. Maybe it lends a charm/qual?

There were some Beauty & The Beast-Belle lookin’ girls up in the joint, I love Disney, secret-obsessively. This was the sheet-show we took over to The Drake to take in some tunes down in the whatever they call the main room of the Drake, not the stairs and not the below-below. People in the know know what I am talking about right now but let me know when you want me to stop speaking industry at any time. I might start doing stand-up again.

Back to Raymality now.

More like Pee-Wee Hermanvision. I found this to be profound.

Potato us. I liked them. Edge of a party peeps.

I interrupted their meal for photos. They were the wood chopper dancer guys. You know the one’s Chevy Chase gets in a lederhosen battle with in Euro Vacay aka I was starstruck?

No it’s not the actual bros but may as well be when you’re gettin’ tanked at Oktoberfest. Give’r Lebowskis. Lots of Germans in the joint. It was a trip. See why I kept my pants on? Ps. why is it so funny to watch men dance? Lol.

Just perfect. “This guy gets a thousand points for even trying.” Oh totally for sure, ‘cept they were both performers for the event so it’s easier.

Clearly we were most intrigued by this bro and how. I am like, someone’s grandpa? Totally down for the TDot-Okt count? What is this back story and where can I get that bag? Is this your dad if you are reading this? Did he win a prize for being the best chief in the house? Please tell him what’s up.

Seconds later cowboy guy mosies on in. Raymbecca laughed all night. I think live-podcasting parties would be hilarious. Look there’s a guy holding a fern and now two drunk chicks just close-lined a frat boy I have no idea where I am right meow lol.

Then I found my next drink from Andre the Giant. A guy who runs the show, part thereof. I was like oh yeah I promoted too. He asks who my contact is, Dick, I say. That’s his name. Too good. Maybe the only swear word in this blog post.

See how not a trainwreck I was, I nursed my first one then he hooked me up with another. Isn’t it always a hunt for a deal addiction? Yes.

Bech took this one. Our favourite picture of the night.

Def some Lederhosen love spread B’s way too and look oh but of course cowboy guy has a gal. I like those boots Raymbex I know they will fit me too.

Cookie necklace message says it all. I texted this to B and she pointed out the girl in the dirndl behind the paper doll one. I am telling you this was a good time, I love freaky-deeky shit like this. Live for it.

Me plus me. Last time I was in this very hall I wore that dirndl and had that blond hair. Life is ________.

Bumped in to a chick who played the Roller derbs who made an impresh on me, I was on a charity (heart and stroke) date that I was purchased for at the time. We made contact but haven’t seen each other since. She was just as ripped as me, oh hi Raaaaaymi. Picture time. They just played the Gladstoner. It would take me half an hour to remember her band name by combing through my gmail so if you recognize her tell her the good word. Ya dang gots blogged. Total sweetie pie, I spied their opened roof top thing and posed by it, the rest is history that I just told you about.

Another reason I wore pants was because I wanted to be able to go out after Oktoberfest.

You can still see it peeking out like Donald Duck tails. Cute I thought, partially-intentional. I love being a dickhead so sue me.

Someone forgot their coat, like they evaporated. A Yellow Santa no doubt, those tricky wizards.

We weren’t done getting trashed yet and mini-Tanya next door was closing up so we said fine okay we will finish up at Motel. Craig met us. No big deal.

I have many stories from this bar but like it matters. I like shotgun bars, dim-lighting. Who doesn’t?

New shipment of PBE came through. Lemme know when you need some energy jagerbomb mix. Oh won’t that be a night.

Upon arrival. A freak amongst freaks. ’til next year #TOOKtoberfest.

It was loads more civilized than the St. Paddy’s party we went to once. Tables equal civilization. You are going to be sitting down to some serious drinking. It’s neat to be a media for things like this, it reinforces all the inflated sense-of-self crap coursing through me. Like beer goggle spy espionage. I likey. I’ll cover your event any time. raymitheminxATgmail.com wink and gun.

Time for that iphone any time now (blurrrrrrrrrrrrry) anywho what’s it like being hella tall?

Time to go bro. Watching my videos for all this now. Happy Thanksgiving Canada.

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