go to my blog or go to hell

raymi — Mon, 29 Jun 2026 13:23:07 +0000

Hi okay, hi hi, yeah, yeah, yeah let’s get all this fanfare and fuss out of the way now.

I just read my homework notes from Emily‘s talk we had last week re: my book and I really need to strap in.

I was a little bit overwhelmed and concluded FUCK THIS BOOK I can’t do this but like, it’s only 9am why am I already quitting?

This is what extreme anxiety is like. You are pretty much useless and anything you do achieve is actually a pat on the back but anyway, I said NO to those thoughts, go blog, and here I am.

I swear I have the maturity level of a fucking jelly bean yes I see it too but isn’t it just wonderful!

I think so. If you can just tap dance thru life like a stupid fucking moron then you have got it figured out. More or less.

in between drug deals with the guy I was dating at the time. I am 19 yrs old, an online model in secret, a famous it girl blogger dating a scary dealer in Toronto on my way to a nervous breakdown.

I have a list of words and each word is a chapter to build from and Emily said 30-40 chapters about so I fired off a list while we were on that call. Emily emailed her minutes too thank god.

Structure is my enemy but I love routine and need it, close to bringing it all together now. Emily’s notes are so good and my immediate opportunistic thought is to share them here with you but you can’t do that, you have to save it. I am so impulsive that’s why blogging is intoxicating I get immediate dopamine hits when I share everywhere in lieu of saving chapters for a book then experiencing better gains then instead and more. wtv I need a fucking podcast yesterday and my friend from grade school’s daughter watches my instagram bullshit and told her mom I should do Onlyfans yeah yeah I know we’ll get there.

iykyk

At this rate it will be forty years til I publish my book and then we can call it my opus fuckin’turd get it done.

here’s my list of words tho, I will redact some..

Sadness
Hospital
Webcam
Blog
Rehab
Mania
9/11
Six months in mansions
Holland
Maine
LA psychosis
Toronto
M___
___ muskoka
Beaches
Burlesque
Family
Internet
Social media
Insecurity
Anger
Humour
Dreams
Bingeing tv
OCD
Bipolar

Let me know if I am missing anything lol kk ttyl xo don’t be a Chooch!

ps. you know I love my definitions…

“Chooch” is Italian-American slang for a fool, dummy, or goofball, often used playfully among friends or family.

“Chooch” is a slang term primarily used in Italian-American communities, especially in the Northeastern United States, including New York, New Jersey, and Philadelphia

It refers to someone who acts foolishly, makes silly mistakes, or behaves in a gullible or stubborn way. While it can be teasing or mildly derogatory, it is often used affectionately, similar to calling someone a “goofball” or “dummy” in a playful context

The term originates from the Italian word ciuccio, which literally means “donkey” or “pacifier” in Southern Italian dialects

. Italian immigrants in the U.S. adapted the word into “chooch,” reflecting local accents and speech patterns. Over time, it became a common nickname or playful jab within Italian-American families and neighborhoods

Playful/affectionate: Used among friends or family to gently tease someone for a minor mistake or silly behavior. Example: “Oh come on, don’t be such a chooch!”

Mildly negative: Can describe someone acting clueless or foolish, but it is rarely meant as a serious insult
Context-dependent: The tone, relationship, and setting determine whether it feels teasing, affectionate, or slightly critical

Cultural Context
“Chooch” is regionally specific and may not be widely recognized outside Italian-American communities in the Northeast. It has not entered mainstream English and is mostly used in informal, familial, or community settings

Its playful nature makes it suitable for casual conversation but less appropriate in professional or unfamiliar contexts.
In short, a chooch is a lovable fool or goofball, a term that blends Italian heritage with American slang, often used to poke fun at someone without causing offense

speed reading here I don’t see anything about Jersey Shore hmm…

Don’t forget to subscribe to my substack btw you can for free dumbass cheapskate tf.

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go to my blog or go to hell