So as you know, last Friday I spoke at She’s Connected on the rockstar (without a band) panel. I have notes from it I’m going to transcribe because I have to feed the blog monkey something, right? May as well be this. I spoke last year as well. I find these conferences are great for many reasons. It’s great to know that not one brand in the room will deign to advertise with me and yet here I am speaking to these blogger newbs and telling them how it’s done. Whatever. On with it!

Prior to the panel they gave us three questions over email to mull over and prepare answers to and in true rock star fashion I wrote down my notes on my way in to town. First question being why do we deserve rock star status?

Donna, conference mistressmind called me a rockstar and “the future” when she met me two summers ago during the bender blitz of blogher in San Diego that was a dream vacay for this guy. I booked four nights and scrammed on over to the Hard Rock hotel (pretty rockstar so far if you ask me) and I ripped it up. If I wanted room service I’d press GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM in to my cheeky hotel room phone and put it on the company dime. Aaaaah. Anyway, that was a great experience for me and I believe my first conference. Blog industry is a money maker now it isn’t going away. It gives jobs to homemakers, hello, internet rules. Best invention ever, ever. Agree?

Notes time. I am a “rock star” blogger BECAUSE I keep it really really really real. Live tweeters in the room, that’s 3 really’s, one real. (Then everybody would be supposed to laugh ahaha).

I’m driven.

I make few compromises. (Then I elaborated/went on a tangent, these are just blurbs that get my talking points going).

I didn’t want to come in there being all defensive but I kind of wanted to make a few mommy blogger jabs to waken ‘em up you know. So I didn’t get to say this next line (pussed out):

Don’t wade through the internet looking to be offended all the time.

Mommy bloggers! – How do you see yourselves?

Don’t think about how you see me. Think about how YOU are viewed. You are a massive collective mobile unit, you are not independent voices. You are one voice. You need to be distinctive and step away from the mommy blogger cult. I AM SERIOUS. You’re watered down and over-saturated.

Ahem Cough. Then I visualized a stampede. Actually the few bold faced statements I made were met with smiles and eyes popping open, grinning and respect. Then I have a page dedicated to CAMPAIGNS that I’m not going to share because you don’t deserve to know my industry secrets for free I’ll just say that the better my Little Raymis do, the better I do. We all rise together. Build a network. It’s obvious. No brainer.

Okay, and then I wrote some chicken scratch extras which are imperative for page-flipping and going blank on the spot. How are your public speaking skills? Mine wane but whatever, it’s the message, not the totally unintelligible manner in which I deliver it OKAY.

I do what I want until people just let me. I think by this I meant just being a sh–head in general for forever on the internet gathering peeps for my audience along the way until maybe that very first PR person reached out to me and invited me to like every single music industry party in life ever. More rockstar reasons right. Oh the parties, oh the people, oh the stories oh the boozing. Just go look in my archives, easy.

Don’t always play by everybody’s rules. You guys (uh oh more mommy bashing haha)(YOU GUYS DO IT TO ME BIG TIME SO CHILL) moved into my territory. I stepped aside kept doing my own thing while the industry developed. We have conferences now. Tech talks. A whole bunch of how-to think tank stuff. Are we reinventing the wheel here people? No. We are simply spinning them. AAAND SONIC BOOM OWNED! Lol.

It is good to exchange ideas and share in our successes but we must maintain our savvy little secrets IMO. I called the rest of that thought in because people only half-listen I find and they’ll just listen to that statement alone. Like I got secrets but I am not telling you them. Builds suspense.

What I do that works for me will not necessarily work for you because you probably play it safe, which is fine, but then there’s hundreds if not thousands of play-it-safers. Newsflash: BORING. The future is FUN & YOUNG and I am just as scared as you. Tumblr? Get one. Though you probably already have one called a pinterest. SEE. It’s OKAY to make fun of stuff on the internet.

Then of course I mentioned how last year I said I wanted to be in Playboy by thirty and now well yeah, look! Plus I’m still 29. Booyah.

Zing bang pow! I got stuff to do. Later gents.

The post Rockstar panel notes appeared first on Raymi the Minx.

Oh hey, you’re still here? Fuh-ine. Come along then.

I wore this sensible secretary/Marge Simpson dress all weekend long. I threw a jumper in my AA bag regardless. I forgot I had tickets to War Horse in my Nella Bella clutch, the show was Saturday night so I weighed my options – continue being a hangover waste of space on the couch (actually very favorable, Shannon and I kept it real for many hours horizontally on her L-shaped wrap around holla) or go to a frickin’ fancy play and even though I fought sleep 400 times during I made it through War Horse now give me my medal.

Thank you. Finally, some much earned recognition. Hey there Anum. Anum thinks I am awesome for some reason so we are friends now DEAL WITH IT.

Back to the program now. My hair is getting longer, healthier. Fading yes and poker straight fine/thin from once being wizard white platinum but still, getting healthier and longer all the same. It will be a luxurious homecoming treat to be a mermaid again.

Strawberry earrings.

Booking it cos we is down to the wire, for my rock star panel. How rockstar.

What is this Woodbine racetrack?

Should have taken the skywalk. That is a Toronto regional-specific joke!

Oh look there’s Rannie.

‘sup Rannie. I have known that kid ten years. I like how we all rise together. #daps.

Look how excited Anum is to meet/hang with me I am so happy for her! juh-juh-juh jokes! This conference coverage (YES ONCE AGAIN) will be a two-parter. I’m using my crappy camera’s pics first. Colleague’s next. There’s just too much kay? Deal. Then once Love Trap airs (Cosmo TV Wednesday night 9:30) I can blog all of my behind the scenes footage too. I am good content-wise for like weeks if I totally wanted. But who cares about the past? It’s a finite resource -Doug Coupland. (one of my favs).

And then, your hero had a business meeting at the Ritz. What. It could happen. And can I just say that hotel bar people watching is still the bee’s knees.

The mirror wasn’t so dusty IRL and hey maybe it was even supposed to be that way.

Best tights ever.

Ghost town patio. People came to scout it for future wedding receptions.

The meeting was great. More things are happening for team “this guy”. Went back over to The Metro Toronto Convention Center to meet Shannon and take in the McD’s talk. It made us want burgers bad.

I am lucky that my eyelashes can take to mascara quite well. Once I find my eyelash glue I JUST BOUGHT I will definitely put my falsies on, they’re like Betty Boop on steroids. I need to be as pretty as possible for some undefined concrete reason. I should just go ahead and write a girl’s version of The Game. Mayhaps I’ve been writing all along through blog.

Don’t boast about your transparency campaign McDonald’s, I’m sorry but with nutrition and creating childhood morbid obesity you cannot be transparent enough. These figureheads were public relations groomed to the nines and used Ronald McDonald’s house charities as a masterful manipulation tactical cloak. Shannon and I were stunned to see the tables of beaming brainwashed moms only there to get those McD’s dollars for their coupon-littered blogs. I mean I feel that but I also noticed that McDonald’s was the number one sponsored logo placed on the conference handout.

I mean I’ll still eat McDonald’s because I think I’m invincible and am lucky that my metabolism can take it and I like to treat myself to eating garbage because I probably hate myself AND hello big macs are delicious. I just don’t like televangelist-types and why I was sitting there at all was cos Shannon was learning and Shannon is my friend and I am supportive like that. I was also a bit buzzed from my business lunch meeting so didn’t mind sitting there like a zombie. Anum and I did spend a good time pre-meeting in the Molson room so, yeah. TGIF!

Then I crashed the Women’s trade show by walking in through the exit and I think my She’s Connected badge helped, plus my smile and my walking like I am supposed to be walking in the out way. Shannon’s friend was like are you sure and I said yes I am sure, look at that security’s back turned to us right now it’s like this is supposed to happen and I am glad it did because we had a fun time! Shannon had a Brass Vixens hoola hoop booth set-up. Smart how they had the two women’s things going on at once that weekend. Smart planning.

Lets go to the women’s national show fair, drink it rather. Wine not?

Except I can’t drink sugar stuff so hard, it is.

This degenerated in to chip ‘n dales pretty quickly. I have a great video to share with you guys.

Ritz charcuterie.

Somehow Shannon got her bf to make us breakfast even though we came in at the crack of dawn lol. I’m like what trouble did YOU get in to for this? He’s like, it’s what trouble WILL I. Touche. They’re a good pair.

Dr. Ho seduced her in to buying this thing. Not cheap either!

Must cancel out that fugly picture with a cute one now.

Remember when ponytails were my thing for a little bit there? Then I grew up. I would love to see this play. I was an Emerald City dancer in a performance of Wizard of Oz many years ago.

Hi hi.

I am pretty good at hooping. #notgonnalie

Okay I am kind of lying I am not like “the best” either.

But I sure do look like I am having fun aren’t I? What can I say, I lurve trade shows. Check you later Mugh-ndayers.

The post Who do I think I am? Who don’t I? appeared first on Raymi the Minx.

OK lets put our thinking caps on and I’ll grab my notes. The conference feedback about your hero was: wow she has a plan – she knows what she wants and she is going after it. – congrats and u looked gorgeous :).

It’s panel time!

Raymi Lauren White

Raymi the Minx aka Lauren White or, Raymi Lauren, built her brand at the age of 17, spawning raymitheminx.com in 2000. She is a pioneer of blogging and was amongst the small pool of bloggers during its first wave of popularity in 2002, drawing the attention of The National Post and SEX TV. A provocateur savant, unabashed black sheep of the digital age, influencer, trend setter, wordsmith; Raymitheminx.com has been a MUST READ in the Toronto’s hip and in-the-know arena for over a decade. Raymi is on par with media, a notable invitee to all the to-dos, touted as the Penny Lane of Toronto (long time music industry ties), muse to the stars, spearheads a bounty of fellow Little Raymis with copious pop-up copycat raymi blogs. Multiple times over viral, donning garb and trends before you got over the last one. Raymi has singlehandedly made a business of her personal everyday life, is a spokesmodel for a plethora of elite brands and has successfully married her hobbies and passions with business, sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between the two. You need to meet her to fully experience and grasp her special brand. A closet feminist, comedienne, exhibitionist, Raymi wears all hats and didja know, she’s HUGE in the foodie scene too, not to mention, a rapidly budding and requested burlesque dancer?

Blog: www.raymitheminx.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/raymitheminx

Twitter: www.twitter.com/raymitheminx
Youtube: www.youtube.com/user/raymilauren

Showed up a little early (for once) to catch the panel before mine to see how these ladies were doing it. they would set the bar and I would be cartwheeling over it. That was my trick to settling my nerves. It worked. Was still nervous though, but I am always nervous so it doesn’t much matter. I’ll distract them with dazzle camouflage.

Following people on twitter and they thank you by spam blasting you with something you have zero per cent interest in. No thank you. Unfollow.

Katrina tweeted are you wearing pants? I replied with oh sh- where are mein pants? ILUVHER.

I guess colleague was bored at points. He is already well-versed in all my wacky hair-brained schemes.

That baby was calming. We vibed off one another. I don’t know protocol in talking to babies, is it ok? I picked up a dog once in a movie store and my bf was like NO. That’s the equivalent of picking up someone else’s baby. I get away with stuff all the time and I know that what I can do isn’t necessarily ok for everybody else. Yes I get special privileges.

They all followed my twitter straight off the bat thanks to Rose. I am this close to being a pyramid scheme (what’s a ponzi scheme that sounds fun!) or a televangelist.

I know and don’t know what they were saying. The room was packed! No seats or, I just didn’t want to interrupt. I saw that no one was being as insane and boisterous as I had been plotting. My nerves went away. I’ve been on network autopilot for weeks it is second nature now and annoying all of my friends. I can’t stop selling.

Comment of the day:

THIS GIRL HAS SOME STAR QUALITY (AND I’M NOT SAYING THAT BECAUSE I’M TOTALLY AROUSED RIGHT NOW AFTER WATCHING THIS). BUT, REALLY. SHE HAS MORE TALENT AND SEX APPEAL THAN MOST OF THE BIMBOS ON TV TODAY. WHY NOT? PUT THIS GIRL IN A MOVIE PLEASE!

It’s super weird to get comments daily to a ghost of a girl. Like she lives in a dance video in a condo she used to live in. Click that link to see.

More of that.

@1ofthose2girls the tiara chick had the fortune of washing her hands precisely when I was in the loo putting on my magic final touches and thus became deeply entangled in a massive sharing of ladies room banter. That’s Katrina, the new treasurer of empire raymi. She is paid in Brie.

@KarmicEvolution screamed out I LOVE YOU. I dared her to. It happens at the end of my Intro here. I knew she’d do it cos she had a whale on her head. People with animals on their heads typically are wont to yell things out in public.

This is what I call being a team player. Did you wear your shirt?

I wore a bra in case my party hats would be showing. I chose my colour over summer and everything was easy breezy sunny and I was a surfer babe 24/7. Farah said she expected me to show up in my lifeguard outfit. She said it’s infamous hahaha. Totally. Maybe I’ll do a post of photos of me wearing it all over town.

All #SCCTO babes get a discount to AndroidTO. code: RAYMI. Android and Connected sitting in a tree c-o-n-f-e-r-e-n-c-i-n-g. Hot geek love.

Another baby.

So adorable.

Your baby is a thief. Her mom was like I am trying to train her to pull people’s rings off. Loved that. I love when they take you to task for the bluffs you throw out there.

Pfffft.

One of the first things I said was I FEEL LIKE I AM SITTING AT A BAR. I was jokey. People listen to stand-up.

They are all staring. It’s like a dream and a nightmare simultaneously.

I want those shots. or maybe not. You get the idea.

OOh that hat was a good idea, face hiding. Like when people whisper, you listen closer. If my face is obscured you will constantly look for it.

Ok I will for real get up off my ass now and get my notes. It was hard to say all the things you planned to because it was a discussion and specific questions lead to specific answers. What works for me might not necessarily work for you and I knew I couldn’t convince a room of 200 proactive techy chicks that the recipe to success was heavily beauty based or being a constant gag-making stooge, I can tell that to you guys but to a room, nuh uh. Everyone likes to think that they have all the answers better than you. Fine then go get invited to a panel and tell it on a microphone. Mantain relevancy and longevity. That is the goal. I am eleven years old this blog, one woman rushed me about blogging back in the day too but yeah, are you notable?

Well done clap clap now lets see what the feedback is.

That guy interviewed me on his little blog tv show thing haven’t heard from him yet. I get 80% more traffic than him, my colleague said, THAT is why RAYMI when he asked “innocently” about what the big deal about bloggers and brands is. Advertising, dude. That’s what. It’s just a channel of preference. Have something neat you wanna raise hype and awareness for, email ME: RAYMI@RAYMITHEMINX.COM Think your brand is too elite for me, you’re fooling yourself and asleep at the wheel. My fingers are in every pie.

@zchamu was in my Blogher San Diego crew. LOVE HER! Which is blog code speak for SHE LOVES RAYMI.

YES WE CAN!

Moments prior to this I was like you have to be a punk rock mommy blogger these days to be interesting again and WHAMMO! Dreams answered.

Shannon was on her way back to Ottawa. Wah. Go hang out with my aunt and uncle! They’re like me (nothing like me) but way more posh.

Amen blonde sister. Don’t feel alienated other girls. Colleague said I alienate people sometimes when I write I had no idea what he is talking about cos he hasn’t any hair at all!

Here is a picture of what me pretending to know EXACTLY what african drumming is. Like, Peter Gabriel’s concerts? Gahaha. Please totally invite me I dance like a chicken to tribal music it will be hilarious.

Wait for it!

Hahahaa.

I am doing my patented MIB-rip-off memory record wiping by waving at the air. Photographic evidence unfortunately doesn’t delete the same nor does willingly typing html code into the body of your typing field for the photo either. It’s unfortunate that this entire post is tainted for me based on one rotten egg of a woman talking shit about me. My brand isn’t “for her” and had I known this our conversation meet and greet that I was nothing but lovely during would have been wildly different.

It’s ok, I’m wearing a hat. I got this covered.

She liked me, I liked her, blah blah blah oh that’s right she was at the picnic too!

Give me some.

I want a tiara! I’ll be a stagette party forever no problemo!

Conference sponsor what’s up!

Give me one.

Sometimes I look Japanese right? That is because I am related to David Suzuki. No just kidding. Notice how I antagonize a notable periodically here for about a month’s time to get a reaction out of it. WINDOW’S CLOSING, SUZUKI. Why weren’t you at the picnic? I planted a tree in your honour.

There’s a video of this but I think it was TMI so won’t be posting. If I knew how to edit. Hmmm.

Ha. Who even knows anymore?

Tracey was like what would we talk about on tv? I’m LIKE WHAT WOULD WE TALK ABOUT????

She said I had it going on and I said you distracted me during my panel, I saw you look down and was trying to figure out who you were and then saw you typing and thought, “what is she typing about me?” I am totally self centred.

I wish I didn’t look like this when I laughed, but I do. Oh well. The point is what WOULDN’T we talk about on CityLine? What is the live delay, 5 seconds? Bahaha.

Don’t I look like Sam Crenshaw sometimes?

+++

Something neat, this photo is trending right now on tumblr:

It took my breath away because I took a photo of the same steps in New Orleans Louisiana in April 2008. Crazy!

See the cup in the mailbox?

The post Schematic visionaries appeared first on Raymi the Minx.