I better learn how to dance with a wig on before my next show which will def see me with an even bigger wig on, piles and piles of hair I am pumped. Burlesque continues…

Ron Sparks is hilarious, I think I like his voice so much that it makes me think he is funnier than he is. He IS funny but his voice is boomy and very deep, leading, and when you hear it you are like oh, here comes a joke he’s saying something! Meanwhile he is just asking about set times.

Cutie cartoony Pastel.

Unreal body.

Yummy.

Me watching Red Zeppelin.

And losing my shit with appreciation. Look Bechnique. And a hipster. Part of Batman too. He’s gone viral eh, good work Alex and Sean Ward!

Bunny!

Maria Juana is amazing.

Cheeky gal.

Excellent, excellent.

At least 30 people have emailed me about this on youtube. Yes thanks I know I was there. Okay fine here it is lazypants. I’m at the end.

Jesus Christ! My parents are dead! Many good parts in this.

Nice splits!

Dayum I got a slammin’ bod.

Part of my first dance involves throwing a glove and I didn’t want to hit this fan up front in the face with it so I flung it to the side a bit more. I flirted a lot with that guy and his gf/companion had a great time.

All comedians hate each other.

And are one another’s biggest fans/cheerleaders and critics too. I like to cram it all together in to one giantly confusing clusterfuck. People say I have yes men and ass kissers, guy, that is so false it isn’t even possible to use me my time is very precious to me so I don’t know what the hell can be expunged except for infamy by association, free concerts and swag, good times, high fives and hugs. Trolls deserve to feel like jerks because they act as such and look at me, look at who I associate with. Characters, freaks, eccentrics and misfits. So am I too, that doesn’t make you a train wreck to live your life exactly as you want to. Collecting weirdos along the way. I choose that life over that of the un-special majority with the samesies lives watching the samesies programs (that I also watch so I’m not all that different) talking the same shit about the same everything. I wouldn’t even wear thin braided hipster headbands because everyone was doing it, or spectacles. I only wear the ones I found because hey, free specs and they help my old lady vision, are prescription and mask eyebags too. It’s dying out more now, watering down, so it’s okay to wear hipster specs ok BUT DON’T GET GREEDY WITH IT. I have all kinds of cool rules. Which btw is a key component that I apply to my life, one, being cool. Forever. It’s not about looks, it’s trailblazing originating, being of the moment, relevant and so forth. I can age yeah sure and get fat and uglier, but I will still maintain my cool, if it kills me. Death by cool. End caption. Lol.

Look at that guy, so enraptured. By the minx. Wonder when a story on my life will be made. Oh get over yourself blogs are just one big giant talking to yourself and sharing ideas you ping pong against a wall for entertainment. When you dissect things you ruin them. You are lame. In short. Stop psycho-analyzing life.

Seeing Pastel reminds me to always stretch. It’s really hard to talk to her when she’s winding her torso and gyrating the other half of her body in a rhythmic stretch, my throat goes dry and my voice gets high and I am like, are you, is that, stretching? So hot.

We did a lot of videos yesterday and I am getting a lot better with my cape. We fucked up downloaing them from his phone ugh so annoyed, actual best work yet you will never see. Which is a challenge to top it. Top yourself is one of my slogans.

Colleague says this dance was memorable.

Every time I upload a video to youtube some beast flags it. I have seen WAY raunchier things on youtube, the video in question is presently being appealed because I guess they were like uh why was this flagged? Sigh.

See my Hello Kitty lunchbox? :).

Ooh I want to hear that Taylor Swift song and photoshop myself into whimsical settings with butterflies and bubbles and other dumb shit. Just kidding I just want to hit update and take a pee.

And now bech’s photos.

Baha you’re welcome for the hugemongous shots.

Jules I am size 8 what are you? I bet you have more weird space shoes I will want to wear. These are like the strawberry swirl candies. But what do you expect from a kid still in braces lol.

I see Red’s teeny head.

Bun Bun!

Ron Ron! I’ve had to stop myself from typing Sexsmith so many times you know. I know that guy too.

Chow Mein, Bech, teach and Courtney’s skinny ankles and legs. Teach trying to figure out mystery camera.

I am like see ya dudes. I got a thing to do for a minute. brb.

I am singing the alphabet.

Duuuhoye hahaha.

That was intentional and the split second will last a lifetime now yay.

Not bad White. My arms could be stronger though.

I am looking forward to wearing those with a normal outfit, smouldering. Maybe they can be worn frontwards too.

The bow in my hair is a little bit Disney. Naughty princess. Which one, Belle?

Oh shit this is going to be good.

Perfection. The socks kill me. KILL ME THE BEST!

Phenom. Real Disney Princess Pastel for sure.

Are you convinced about these shows yet?

Come for the me, stay for the them!

I rest my case.

Ooh I just got an idea for a dance.

But on another note how would you feel about a dance to this?

It is my natural inclination to dance to grimy trash and, well I might add. I got in to night clubs underage at 16 with a fake id and this was what they played, at NRG (that place is scary) man dance offs with legit hood rat skanks, I saw a girl shove kick a guy after dancing like a whore around him it was the best she terrified me. You could dance behind silk screens once you climbed these ladders (dangerous and should be outlawed) and so of course we climbed them, drunk, on E, and danced like idiots. The hip hop room was even scarier by far, entrants beware, you will most def get a towel thrown around your neck and then you have to grind your way out of it. Fights like cray, it is a jungle. Anyway, so I know how to dance like a raunchy ghetto kind of I don’t know what. Maybe I will choreograph something to fool people in to thinking I am street and funky to this song. I’m sure they played it at the Falconer reunion. Other classics, Salt n peppa, Dre, Snoop, a little gangster’s paradise here and there and cherry bombs. We were hung as hell. Best party. Falconer what.

Ooh Red Zeppelin, hot mess. Love it. We were all concerned about her pouring honey on herself for fear of stage sticky and she neglected to be oh yeah before even that guys I’ll be dumping suds and water all over myself and the stage. Hahaha oh boy.

What a funny life, it’s fun.

Bunny and I are like, really? Look Teacher it’s me cleaning! Bahahaha.

And teaching Red Zeppelin the meaning of respect.

I can’t believe what is happening and I like it. Me and Red always do a “bit” together on stage as bonus performance art. I like that I have high-end rubbermaid dishwashing gloves on and my white billowy dress looks like a big poof sponge also for cleaning. If I smoke a bit more weed I am sure I can fantasize this entire post as a Beauty and the Beast recreation no problem.

Stressing over Bunny’s gloves. My head lost weight.

Such a temptress.

She’s got quite the groupie fan base.

I can see why.

Wuh-oh pasghettios.

Surf’s up guys!

Um this is taco night on Monday two days later nevermind that.

I know how to twirl it like a mermaid or train tracks. Ha whatever you will see and then get hypnotized.

I don’t think this one was even put on my blog I put it up everywhere else before so now it’s old news. Meh.

THE END.

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