What are you looking at you’re the one walking through the streets singing out loud Memories of a Geisha style. Work it girl. She looked at me funny is all like, I dunno I was exhausted who cares haha.

She was definitely going somewhere awesome.

Here we go get ready for the gong show.

That’s the tambourine someone in our party not gonna name names but it wasn’t me tiefed from the karaoke bar that sister hid under the bed in the morning so he wouldn’t make us kill him from playing it on purpose to torment us out of guilt from the night before probs haha but we forgot it under that very bed and there it is probably still. Damn wanted to keep that trophy. I just remember him coming at me in his underwear just on the tip toe beginnings of smashing it around like hell but I heard the cymbals jingle and shot up in bed, laughing then trying to tackle him.

Old MTL is similar to Quebec City so it’s hard to tell sometimes if this was there or there but our first night touch down I marched us right at that district, we loved it so much.

I was hung in bed, sister took these next ones and or bf. Mommy needed alone time.

I was starving fantasizing about the eggs they said they would bring me but they didn’t in the end so it was an unfair soldier out disadvantage for your hero.

You look tired too N.

But I love these. This is why you’re awesome. Sun is the antidote.

Faking it hard, did I do good.

I was poisoned-level unable to drink this hair of the dog but then a bee flew inside of it anyway and after some french canadian que le fucks? they brought me a new one and we shared it.

It was on tourist trap row so the food isn’t as chi chi as whatever, it did le trick.

Sis has a graf bonheur.

The double decker tour buses were done for the day (THANK GOD) so we took a horse drawn carriage for an hour, it was much nicer.

I copied sis without even knowing it.

I miss Holland/Germany. #SOON.

Stop the world I want to get off much?

Purty. My bud was like so what did you learn when I was defending the horse ride and said we learned lots of shit, oh yeah what did you learn? I have no idea. Gahahah it was a night of pure jokes and Spaghettio got us drunk. Whee.

Making these smaller cos it’s taking forever to load. Sorry. Something about 640 size.

Okay now it works bigger. Urgh. I shouldn’t be pushing my chances with this computer at all though so I will chill. Our tour guide was awesome and everyone we meet ever everywhere (how much does that word flow rule?) has a Rotterdam or Amsterdam story, it’s cool. They all seemed to have escaped there at some point.

Adorbs french whimsy details everywhere.

hai.

Pictures like this are the shit. It makes me think of when I lived in New York, BK.

I had a right good week bender here last year too. Crazy how time flies and how different you were then or what was going on.

Happier now.

I’m listening to the cheesiest best salsa music right now, have to in these gloomy climates.

No one wanted pictures that night, f I looked like shit. I wanted to go and freshen up before dinner but no one would let me.

Exciting and delicious.

Then we gave’r some more.

Peace mang ang thanx for the times.

Plus these whaaaaaaaaaaaat.

Old melted blue has lived in my purse for forever I think I chucked him not soon after this if not immediately. This is all I could take for now, happy Saturday pals xo the big RL.

Here’s the day if not moment we fell in love in Aruba. Man wait til I tell you about those two weeks in like ten years or so haha.

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Watch all of this one for a sweet driving whip tour through Amsterdam, it gets good/better.

Canoeing in this part of the lake in Quebec was like the scene in the Notebook where they stumble upon the special enchanted lake full of white birds just floating in the tree marsh, except this time it’s purple flowers and lily pads and we drove through a ton of them lol.

Which one you want?

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This chick looked like Anne Hathaway to me. I saw her all week long and needed a pic before leaving and finally got one last night. I took the train back first class this morning at 6:45am. I had two breakfasts. The first being McDonald’s the second being the breakfast they serve to the fat cats on train which I just picked at, my eating remorse is something fierce after 5 days and nights of feasting. I didn’t make it to a museum this time but as one pal said, a museum of food I attended instead. By now you guys know how much I love to eat so this suited me fine.

Even though I seemed before like I ate a lot that’s because I only always showed what I ate and nothing but when I was actually combining with that a hell of a lot of restricting. But not this week. Zero restrictions. I check my stomach/body in the mirror obsessively now and can’t tell if it’s regular Lauren bloat or if I am fatter but I am still in my skinny window well enough but outside anymore and I will be too big for my constitution to take. I at least don’t have hardcore eating guilt like old-me would have because I am still in the eating mood, guilt-free forcing self to enjoy it mode which makes you a little less fat than if you were stressed out of your mind imbibing eating. This is a Lemon princess bar. For princesses. French people eating like princesses. Marie Antoinettes. It made me giddy to be around like we’re going on a spectacular eating adventure together no holding back and everyone’s going to love it. I had a wonderful week spent with great people.

We had two bottles of this phenom wine during our four course Italian meal. I didn’t even take pics of the pasta it was so much food. Then we went out and partied. Naturally.

So much red meat and red wine I am lucky I don’t have the gout. I could feel, or obsessed that I could feel my insides, various organs responding to all the excessive f-ing dining I was doing like my stomach was having its own heart attack perhaps, or is that an ulcer over there or what’s this pain from back there, drunk push-ups? Okay good.

They were not in to me taking pictures here at all, with flash, so this shadowy mysterious bird is a cornish hen and it was RIDONKULOUS. Later on at one of the bars we went to I took a flash picture and they got bitchy about that too so I was like I am not letting you people control me and Ari. was like good for you, totally on my side. You can take a few flash photos in a restaurant at your table because I said so.

The best here was the octopus salad which I have a photo of on my phone cos it takes better night pictures albeit still grainy in quality. Anyway who cares blog, who cares.

Meat I forget the name of but we got the last one of. Score.

This bottle stared at me and I it, for days, until I got the text to crack it open and this was a lovely me-time afternoon I’ll say haha.

Just me and this old bat. I saved some for the others don’t worry.

And my really lazy at home blog attire leisure wear.

And the palace view lights up.

Veal t-bones. A sous chef also lives here. How handy. When we went out they ate a second dinner while I just drank mine cos you have to draw the line at ribs and poutine after veal t-bones I don’t want to die alone alright.

Beautiful.

Purple Mustard or moutarde violet. Bro lets get moutarded.

Everywhere we went new lights appeared and added to the magic.

It’s nice to be lead around by locals. You get to turn off your brain.

This is a lame department store apparently but I just liked the lights. I was hanging with “cool stories” so you had to watch yourself a lot.

Speaking of watch.

Hot pink lights lay it on me.

My last night, I stayed an extra one. The other kinda nice low-key place was packed so we went to an s-hole instead to get sloppy.

When they bring you food it’s cos they don’t have a booze license but a food one. The “salsa” was sweet and spicy, tres weird.

This was after our fishbowl margaritas that were delicious at first then disgusting.

I like how my blackberry makes everything all porno grainy.

Now listening to Skyfall. Who wants to take me to see it? #nowdating.

Thinking about the next food I will eat while cruising around the city doing some errands listening to funny french radio, french hip hop I guess? This was the last of the makeup I had left, on my face. The best I was going to look and I knew I’d look like a trainwreck on the train if I didn’t get more.

I put back a lot of cider courtesy of this place in that they don’t have vodka, just wine and beers and cider is like if they both had a baby.

I was getting fungrily impatient in-between errands so I had a cookie and a beer here to fill the void. I speak to all clerks no matter how glaringly francaise in the exact same manner how I speak to servers here, like a Woody Allen nightmare, fast english. I think I helped with their english learning big time. Hey, you’re welcs mtl.

This got a laugh because it made me misread it as Jermy, how we referred to our cousin Jeremy when young and dumb.

Where’s Raymbo? Relax lady I wasn’t trying to capture you.

We ate like cray here. Like Craymi.

People watching in restaurants is my jam, are they dating, is that an affair, his mother? Then you stare at them for the duration of your meal until one of you leaves or someone more interesting arrives.

It’s Saturday night so you don’t get craptions for all of them. I’m at Bechnique‘s and we’re just staying in tonight waiting for SNL and a snuggle. Thrillhouse. Tomorrow is Grey Cup mon. Historical. When I read weeks ago that Biebs was performing I was like okay we are def cashing in on that hook-up for sure.

Spicy beef tartar yum yum yum.

Duck shepherd’s pie with fruit ketchup.

I love food presentation. Photos and food. Pretty straightforward really.

You can connect with people and their constant barrage of instagram food pics because, again straightforward, hey that guy is eating a burger, I like burgers, wish I had one right now aaaaaaaand “like”. That’s it. No diff than pics of yourself or your kids or your possessions.

I avoided the potatobviously. I just made up a new great word didn’t I.

Replaced my makeup with a kind I’ve not tried but so far so good? I get really attached to one brand at a time and knew I wouldn’t be able to find it in a french pharmacy. I’ll keep ya posted or you’ll just see for yourself if it was a good switch or not. KAY BYE.

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