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I am trying to think of if I have ever done something else for 250 days before. Do jobs count? Lol. fuck they should, I guess so, from a resume perspective. Speaking of which, I am so LinkedIn checked-out but I have a souped-up account with a lot of thought leader contacts because networking was part of my gig before as well as I freaked out and changed it to my real name, I had to wipe a lot of shit as much as I could so I Laurened it up and I have this fantasy that one day I go back to RTM LI persona-mode and post something there out of nowhere. then like all these fuckin execs and guru bullshit artists start messaging me deals and offers lol. I swear to God being delulu actually works at least some of the time because you don’t know unless you try. What did Homer Simpson say? Bart, if you never try then you never have to fail so the moral is, to never try.

Ya no. I say disrupt like all those motherfuckers preach. Oh yeah? okay then BET.

Actually the wheels are in motion to cook a mixer up with some of these leads and whoever-the-fucks you now so if you would like to be involved in a thing, get in touch. See look, we’re already doing the thing now. Pin it!

Being sober is like a rollercoaster ride on an ever-changing track of options now that you’re with it, have energy, and the want to exist and engage. It’s great. Do I sound like an idiot with all this constant motivational crap stuff? Is it sinking in? Good because y’all could use a little help too. We should always be evolving.

I chatted with a pal and gave some wisdom the other day and maybe it’s TMI but it was on sex addiction and I was noticing patterns so I said you don’t gotta do all that you know, that addiction, that demon, the insatiable shit you’re addicted to well you are a lot sexier if you’re not constantly f—ing chicks just because you can like isn’t all that mess exhausting? Just know when shit is out of control and check yourself.. like it’s funny to hear the stories and be entertained but it gets to a point where you could really effect some change to a friend and it did, they were grateful.

In sobriety you talk about it a lot and spread it around and you don’t care as much about things that use to bother you, you gain a superpower – a fearlessness that those who are dependent on booze don’t possess because if they did then they would have the power to let down the drink, they do not, they are powerless.

I know I am and that is why I cannot do it anymore.

Sobriety is more fun and some homies are also on this path too. it’s exciting to reconnect and make plans that normal people do who aren’t sitting around drinking and doing drugs. It’s all about the journey, make that the destination. Don’t drink to escape and kill time fantasizing about a better life from your box of wine. Go thru the process of getting clean because once all that tough nonsense passes you will be sitting in a space where you are able to love yourself and remember why you are awesome and people like you and the walls aren’t caving in. Reclaim your life.

Look at me! You could be a guy like me!

see ya in the funny papers xo rlw

ps. this dance video is awesome. body is tea. my partner never danced with me and I am a hyper dancer so I started making youtube dance videos to get in shape and to make content for my blog too. The thing that really turned a corner for me was seeing the JT Ciara Love sex magic music video her body is tea and her bangs. It’s always about the bangs for me but anyway I was always about to start getting into shape again but not motivated. my ex made a fat comment to me, then I saw that music video and then it was SO ON. I locked in, got fit, then moved the fuck on. I am grateful for our time together and I have dreams sometimes of the past but essentially I released him from my minx talons so. No hard feelings. Everyone who comes into our lives are our teachers. this vid was 17 years ago but that math doesn’t add up it makes me 26 here when I am actually 24, strange. i also am sober in this, I did not smoke weed for 5 solid years and never drank during the day because I was blogging hungover instead.

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Straight up truth sometimes I have no idea what to write here it feels like PeeWee’s Playhouse and then I have to go back a few posts to reference the instapics I’ve already posted then got lost in the abyss of Raymland. Oh well, could be worse I guess.

Got another rehearsal in. Jared is girl crazy on his phone every time I lapse into instagram and then we just rip on each other until we finally put our phones down. Phones am I right!

I am liking the JT look more and more these days both hair and denim. Dark denim is a go! Not that Jared was going for JT or even knows who Justin Timberlake is jkjk. Sigh, that TKO video is fucking hot and what’s the deal with guys and crazy girls, am I right? What’s the deal with am I right, am I right?

Guys are so into crazy hot girls they’ll let them drive their boner right off a damn cliff. Alright that’s enough life wisdoms for this caption. I would love to cover this song btw however.

Defrosted ice. Intense.

I guess that’s what you get from being on your phone so much eh? blehehee. He’s one of those phone speak into-ers like it’s a dictaphone. Cool detective work there. The funny thing is, we always get Second Cup when we jam for some reason probably cos Jared is a cheapskate I dunno but anyway I tweet to them and because their social media game is strong they ALWAYS reply back to me but I doubt that this time they woulda, had I blasted this convo out to them. That would be a dream meme come true if so. I’m going to upload it to my imgur account if I remember to.

I’ve lost about 5lbs since I started giving a shit again. I typically fluctuate 5 pounds everyday or when I’m drinking but now I’ve gone passed my lowest number and dropped 5lbs below that. The magic of sugar restriction, carbs and booze. Speaking of, it’s Booze free day nine time to make up a silly self referential rhyme.

Ugh I think I’m getting sick or it’s just the beginning of today’s starvation headache. My throat is feeling phlegmy and considering I am surrounded by a lot of sickness and death right now (hospital visits don’t ask) I probably picked something up, or it’s a head cold from the billions of times walking in and out in the wind and snow.

These are the moments why people, myself super included, complain about summer ending. It’s hard to envision wearing teeny neon shorts right now it just is. I am going for a tan later. Remember when I said I wanted to take on the world with my body and my mind? That’s why I was so gung-ho running like a Raymiac covered in Hawaiian tropic oil all summer long. Well what’s the point of turning your body into a turbobabe machine if you’re not going to do anything with it right? I mean lets face it I am almost 32 if I can bag a role based on my quasi-bombshell looks then why fucking not. If I can maintain a physique that is. Hopefully I will not be having a rude-awakening from staring into my bf’s skinny mirror all the time.

Keeping things light is key. Creative too.

This was the last sweet thing I ate. I even gave this little asian candy from the bottom of my purse away that I wanted. Oh wait but then I had a power bar which was full of sugar but necessary because I probably would have killed my bf. Speaking of btw, the older I get the more progressive and laid back the dudes I date seem to be. I’m like hey and he’s like, no problem.

Whenever I wear a turtleneck I think I look like Charlie Bucket.

I just emailed myself some more pics to add here. Blogging the way I do takes up so much time. Especially while fielding calls and emails and messages blabbity blah it’s just one of those one thing after another days/weeks. My bf said I cannot have kids because then I couldn’t blog, but not because I would be a shitty mother. That was nice haha. I was like uh newsflash there are tons of mommy bloggers out there BECAUSE they’re moms. He just meant all this me-ness would have to be done away with. When I see old ladies bobbing around at the supermarket I start to baby panic like who is going to take care of me one day??? But then I think I just can’t yet I have all this crap to take care of first. The mind of a 31 year old is an interesting place.

It’s not just your body you have to worry about though it’s your face and not looking tired and when you lose weight it shows in your face. Slippery slope.

A gf said she totally knows what I meant when I said cheekbones and no drinking though. I like that old friends of mine still read my blog and then write me long emails about evey point I made, or the in-between the lines stuff. Hi all long time readers you guys are the shit.

It’s hair wash day. Half groan half yay. Your hair is high maintenance when it’s long and when you DIY the babying maintenance is an intriguing process in that you just let it be in secret behind closed doors when no one is around you have major rat’s nest dreadlocks and basically look like Natasha Lyonne.

Dead ringer.

Back to this guy.

Jared asked why girls take pics like this. I dunno cos it’s hot, you can make yourself look skinny and flat bellied, show off your figure and outfit if it’s cute. Give the people a POV on what I look down at everyday.

This does not at all look appetizing but I assure you last night it was tasty and bonus points on picking up that peanut sauce too oh god yeah that jar is going to be emptied in no time. I feel sorry for people who are allergic to peanuts I really do. Next time I’m getting cilantro.

The rice paper is thick and good quality, makes me think you could make a curry and the rice paper can hold it or that would just be a total disaster who knows.

It looks better from the front but I couldn’t get a good pic of him. We have a rule, one pic a month. Yesterday two diff source-entities reached out and requested pics of me kissing with him, or a friend, or a loved one?? Funny no? We’re at the hospital and I’m like, check out these back-to-back emails yo. Give the people what they want I guess.

I should be glad I bought the amazon mural instead of that tidal wave one right?

bf said with my midriff showing in these jeans I’d do well in a trailer park. Jealous much! Then I pulled my thong up super high like Britney Spears it was pretty gross and funny.

Today is also the day I find out how ghetto this is or isn’t. Is black too much for a screen test? I have really long nails right now they will really stand out. Hopefully the tan will make my hands look less witchy. I should prob do subtle but what the heck it’s me and I do it my way.

3 months left of winter. 90 days of blistering cold hell.

My thighs would be so much leaner if I were running right now. Thanks winter. Pretty sure I have the gap still but definitely juicier ’round there. If I get this gig I will tell them I am going to lose 10 more pounds and it won’t just be bullshitting either.

My laundry has been piling up at home and I get annoyed because then I run out of all my “cool” pants or my favourite rotation stuff but then I discover one of several pairs of jeans my mom dropped on me. We have the same size body more or less and now that I am slimming down all the pants she brought over fit me better instead of telling people to take ten steps back while you unbutton and explode out of them, everything fits nice and loosey-goosey.

My exercise routine is squats, kettlebell, sex, free weights, torso twists, tricep extensions, push ups, lots of water and caffeine and squeezing my butt when I walk and igniting my core as much as I remember to. I count going to the bathroom as exercise too. Good metabolism, all that.

If I look at it I am more bound to drink it rather than look at a highball of whiskey and sob. Water is great for your skin not to mention all the stuff going on inside of your body.

It’s nice too when other bands fangirl your band. We will book another gig soon.

Count your blessings everyone that’s all I gotta say! I feel like there is so much stressful stuff surrounding me right now, because there is, and multiple different entities at that like a stress trifecta and there’s nothing to do but to keep ploughing through it. Know that I am ok though. Some of it is good stress and good things and opportunities etc but some of it is hardcore and private stress that at times just makes me want to scream my fucking head off. Just keep on keeping on til it gets better because it always does. Bye for now xo Raymbo.

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