YUM. If you want this right now go to Cheese Boutique. I’m not supposed to say free food cos then all the cheapskates come out but, free food! 12-4. TODAY RIGHT MEOW!
I like hearing backstories about CB employees. I don’t know anything about this guy. Those tomatoes are pretty.
Mmmmm.
Turkish tea. Didn’t have any, was prior to the casby’s and I was nervous as hell.
FPP foundress Diane. She is a doll and has the cutest face like one, right. Tony mr. baby boomer extraordinaire.
Those are poached shrimps with cheese. Delicious.
How much do I blend with these surroundings.
My hair is like a wizard’s you should see it right now I got my roots done yesterday. It looks like it is emanating from out of my head not at all attached. I love making fun of myself so bad I think I am the most interesting ever right? ugh.
Oh there he is.
I look like crap in all these pics I was a million miles away in my head but this party helped season me for the Casby’s so I’m grateful to it.
Hug it out. Diane told me how generous the Ford’s were at the charity dinner.
You can barely see my roots at all. I am a psycho.
The blond lady in the blue said she follows me and that I would be following her soon. Intriguing. I love that fire. She said she was a wop and I go PERFECT. Wasps and wops so totally go together (one of my top ten raymism sayings), we’re both full of it. She pondered that and agreed. My hand is on Muffy’s back, Tony said didya see Muffy? I say who Muffy mouse?
Here she is warning me of her excellence. That is so Raymi. hiya!
I look like I am going t make a gingerbread house.
This guy is a VBD. very big deal. James Chatto. He just started blogging too and I go oh great have fun pushing that boulder up a hill. In foodie world there are all these people to know, like tech bloggy blog world. Luckily I know many little birds who tell me many little things on top of my own personal interests pertaining to food celebrity and what not.
I can remember the very first times I visited CB and lookit me now. Slainte!
It fell out of the case so then became a prop. You run pepperettes or any kind of sausage beneath a faucet for thirty seconds and the cold water separates it whole and you can pull it off like a snake shedding its skin. EW. When I cook at home I say out loud everything that I am doing and it’s surprising how much I know and how little teacher does. THIS, is salt. you sprinkle it in the water. Hahaha. Just kidding.
Ew I look like the ugly Jordy girl on BB UK when they gave her 5 spray tans (it’s so mean but funny she’s so dumb!!!!) look at my neck, no, don’t. That dress brings the orange on my makeup. I pancaked it on for the cameras DUH. No not this one.
An ice ring to hold that beer. Pure class. When I cut through the middle there I yelled VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE COMING THROUGH. Blazer guy was like yeah yeah hahaha I”m sure.
Party!
Watch your fingers dude!
Nice to meat you.
I can tell I am a bit off here. I was really nervous and going to be late for the camera crew yet really wanted to stay at this party and stuff my face.
We will work on my poses in CB for next time. Looking up directly into camera will wipe my tired eyes.
James and I got a look in to the barrel that houses this cheese that I don’t know anything about other than I said it’s SO Pirates of the Caribbean right and James chuckled so he might think I am really funny or really stupid I dunno.
This is the part where I make a little joke about Afrim. The Grid did a thing on Cheese Boutique and Afrim. I don’t have time to read it i already know that he is cheese master and France came and had a special ceremony and I know this because I am obsessed with Medieval times. Both the place and the time.
Lets do a loop lap.
I spy an FPP pic. There’s all kinds of artifacts hanging around. Hey do you guys wanna hang my Marco Pierre white Apron? it is in our fridge crisper still cos the parmesan residue is going bad ughhh.
Me and the hot Turkey sandwich I mean consul. This is as close as I got to him before running away, I got half as close as this to Douglas Coupland once at his art show in the distillery (MY HERO) and chickened out of saying hi. There’s picture in my archives of it too. LOSER! Oh look here it is I found the post
That’s him back there the head popping up and that’s me, just like me and the Turkish Consul. Two ships passing in the night bet he never even saw me.
An old friend neat to see him doing the foodie circuit too I can tell he’s suspicious yet impressed by my standing (competitive jealousy) in this wild world of big personalities and big food, we’ve bumped into each other before and he tweets. It just makes me feel how my very first boyfriend reacted to my going to see Metallica (F- YEAH!!!) at 14 with my best girlfriend Jesse cos this dork at school liked her and his dad got him 4 tickets. We finagled some floor bracelets for both of us and I crowd-surfed even. TWICE! I brought back my bf a tour book (it was like $40 which is a lot at molson amphitheatre and for a grade 9er) but anyway he felt I didn’t deserve to go cos he was the mega-fan and I’m a girl. yeah you liked them first but I liked Metallica a long ass time too, hello I have an older brother. You’ll be happy to know that this will happen again TO-VERY-DAY cos it’s the 90’s reunion party and I can talk about my upcoming performing on a bill with tokyo police club and F-D up for a NIRVANA TRIBUTE all while dressed like a ska skinhead gf. OOh it’s gonna be lovely, that. Hey wait teacher said that’s the reason for this party today ahahah I am a dough head.
See the Turkish Airline there and see how I am creating a barrier from Teacher and this guy? Haha I’m inventing drama. Everyone is so nosy too, how do you know so-and-so and who was that?
I had like 6 of these.
This is my friend from the table at the fpp party. she is my people as in, crazy endearing hippie lady.
OMG the baklava room. they were like matchsticks so yummy.
Turkish delight too. mint and regular. so nice.
The cheese party with France in their living room with swords and scrolls and funny hats and jester shoes I bet. Dude behind me looks like total secret service right?
OK bye!
An employee was like 0_o at me and I yelled I’M TAKING THIS AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! People think they hallucinate me. I am stealth. Crazy always gets ignored.
It’s a Fiat.
So dopey but how I match so perfectly. I am a genius.
Hi I’m Raymi, do you like rock stars? Me too, lets do this!
I dressed like Veronica Corningstoner yesterday in case I pulled it off maybe I could be a public broadcasting professional and meet Ron Burgundy. I dunno. Dressing the part is more than half the work in life, if you’re gonna be a rockafeller skank you should floss as such.
I told these guys the recipe for getting backstage: GIRLS. Get the two hottest girls from your town to come to a show (if there’s two of you, one girl per guy minimum) and use her as a bartering ticket but even then, it takes years to solidify bonds and connections in the music industry. Case in point are these guys dressed the part to blend in with groupies? They’re just total dudes, bros. They were funny.
My camera guys were pumped about the candy. Good to know I can pay them in candy.
Look a Sheep Dog, right off the bat. Don’t even ask me what I asked or what they said, my mind is wiped. It doesn’t matter we can talk about bananas once you skyrocket to fame people just want to experience your essence, your long locksy essence. I am sad I forgot to do my Stillwater joke about the sequel to Almost Famous and didja hear that The Sheepdogs are up for that band role? I was going to start that rumour and spread it to all the bands. Forgot to.
Some guys I interviewed based on funny hair alone, knowing they weren’t musicians but pretending I thought they were so that their musician friends could make fun of them ALL ON MY RAYMITHEMINX TV SHOW. GOLD.
I was too shy to penetrate right off the bat. You open the door to backstage and WHOOSH every band. member. in. sight. Normally back there on my own not with camera we all play it cool smoke together, too cool each other out, I take a bit of shots, kind of keep a distance, but mostly cover the live action cos I am too severely shy and stupid in the mouth at these moments.
It’s basically an ambush show. Like my blog. It’s real but then the musicians who are actual professionals here know when I am cueing them for “make believe time is over now” and ask them a question about global warming then we do SERIOUS VOICE then they get tired of me and then I move on to the next one.
A second camera guy I had wandering around the sound academy, in the pit. We were like a virus. Raymitis. It’s worse than Aids. Ha ha.
We had to move back a bit, I love when security intervenes, it makes the famous moment you invented get blown way out of proportion (they were believing my hype) and fan hysteria increases. I also blame her tits which I only noticed were phenom from this photo and thank you for it.
We look like Scooby Doo.
And we are called the Underdogs you should probably tell us everything and not sign anything. We are for hire. Just wait and see how good it is first then I’ll know how high to reach. raymi@raymitheminx.com fyi.
Peter I am going to pants you next time. It’s what the underdogs would do. The ginger is Andrew and he saved my ass with The Reason. Hoo boy. Andrew is my Seth Rogan. This looks like a hilarious reality show, a show on a show hey where is John Malkovich?
Awww that loving couple. Don’t even ask me who that performer is. I zoomed in still can’t tell. Aghh Geoff just told me the footage is awesome, I was bashing myself to myself all night/day long on pins.
Another great way to get backstage is breaking your foot. Awful desperate but it works. I in no way shape or form suggest that you do that nor that she did it purposely either it was a funny joke, is all.
Canada is amazing because our radio personalities can never not be canadian which means it’s a big beer-ha-ha and everybody loves them, we take it seriously but not really. That girl is holding a signed by everyone beer bottle magnum, magnums are meant for champagne. OH CANADA, OUR HOME AND NATIVE LAND!
See anyone you recognize? Omg look at that girl’s face right in front of me.
I am a major USS fan. I know obscure specifics about their lyrics. It was apparent that absolutely none of this interview would be anywhere close to serious.
He held my mic while i rifled through my notes which I didn’t have any of because I felt confident with my wakestock stories (failed) and hamilton show story (and there too).
And then we listened to a beautifully moving acceptance speech while the sheepdogs were playing. I want to be friends with USS but we’re all ernies I think and that could be disastrous. Ernies and Berts go together. Ernies and Ernies set things on fire together, nahmean?
SHEEP DOGS!
I wonder what their tour bus is like with all that corduroy and plaid and hair mixed up on it.
Romesh (Hey Rosetta!) was the second musician I ambushed and they were about to go onstage (this is hours later when we were relaxed) so that interview was straight ridiculous, he’s like, Raymi? And I’m all, Romesh, why are Newfies all crazy? Except I didn’t want to say newfies, i tripped on it and said NEWFOUNDLAND, people from? I dunno. I am sure it is horrible and my career is over now before its begun like Bridget Jones down the fire pole ughhh. Luckily I’ve been piss wasted with Romesh before so I knew I could wing it into something fun.
All I did was recycle anecdotes I’ve learned from Rajiv (his brother), even something about his dad. What other The Enemy (rock writers) can offer up useless personal bits like that I’m flippin’ Oprah here, I mean, I got Kinley their fiddler to talk about being a bonafide mute, “s’that why you play the fiddle?”
Hey Romesh what the crap is that in your hand behind my notes?
Groupies, music industry folk, the regulars.
Paddy was shooting for I forget already I asked her 4 times. It was funny to be like, oh yeah, I do this tv thing and blog thing and burlesque, there’s one of my dancers over there. No I don’t get that nervous for burlesque cos I don’t have to talk for that and every time I open my mouth I get in to trouble anyway.
The Sam Roberts boys fell right in to my groupie dancing vortex trap which makes sense now as to how I lured that exclusive, way to go me.
That one chick is trying to figure out what the hell is going on. This is what building a legend looks like.
Sam is a darling. Humble, modest, said sincerely that he hopes my tv show goes well. Then I obsessed about what that meant ahaha. I asked them all what it was like to be a rock star and that lead to all these abstract and profound wisdoms, that would be a funny show idea to ask that question and just edit an hour of all these long tangents from rock royalty. Just one episode though it would get boring if it was strictly music. I need a hot pink Hello Kitty mic foam and swarovski crystal mic. And a sponsor. HINT.
++
sorry got busy guys. we’ll be back tomorrow. Go to Cheese Boutique tomorrow for Totally Turkish 12-4 and have lunch. I have loads of pics of going there prior to casbys yesterday. So fun.
1. If you think having a souped-up facebook page (are we back in myspace years?) as a viable enterprise, legitimate and credible business all things YOU source, you are out of your element.
2. Flipping out every time FB changes its look and being so emotionally invested is unhealthy (you are turning into a blogger except you don’t have keys to your own house).
3. Facebook is an afterthought for me, Twitter is the way. I always tweet-blast first (my posts) then I hit up Facebook cos there seems to be more of a lag there, it’s less immediate so it doesn’t matter when my post hits the feed, no one is paying any attention anyway except for my mom, maybe and your mom. Cool business strategy.
4. FB changes it up every other week, how insecure is that? How insecure are YOU for tweeting about it, ugh so boring. Then I go log in to see what’s going on and immediately get lost in all my messages and stuff not even noticing the “change” because I’m intuitive I just figure ok, Messages tab there, right, Profile, status, done, oh look a ticker feed ripping of twitter, great, predictable, yawn. Whereas you guys whine and whine and whine and tag. STOP SENDING ME CITYVILLE REQUESTS!
5. FB chat is abhorrent. If I don’t chat you up it’s cos I am busy, but then some guy in the sticks gets me all guilted about BUSY BUSY BUSY-ing him off, then I get distracted doing other useless garbage. I go on FB to do a specific task, message a specific person but end up not doing that til 5 logins later cos I was so distracted by eight things at once, something in the timeline feed (dad you have to get a facebook I’m making you one tonight, no more excuses) four chat boxes and aghhh you can tell which ones of your friends are wholly addicted to crackbook.
6. It will never become blogging, It is finite. Anything people must have their own accounts to participate by, not blogging. Blogging is free of that, you can access our blogs BECAUSE THEY’RE BLOGS not Facebook blogs.
7. This is the dumbest most boring topic to post about but for some reason will fly around the fastest because it’s friggin’ FB, which isn’t that the number one website behind google? I dunno these things, my SEO is horrible as I’ve always only figured content was key but apparently I need to insert all these sneaky words to oust the competition and blabbity blah you just have to know it all these days and do it all. Facebook is limiting is the point.
What a success! I ambushed so many bands. I said so many awesome and stupid and witty thought-provoking useless things alright! It’s not what I interview, sillies, it’s that I interview. I got a sheep dog, Hey Rosetta, Sam Roberts, USS, and The Reason. I ambushed 5 out of 6 of the Casby performers in total. Some exclusives, backstage, side stage, tour bus alley, it was all my playground (has always been) but now with camera crew. It was wonderful to see lots of familiar faces and music industry pals milling about like old times. We danced and shot from the pit, caught some crowd surfing oh it was wicked, ears are still buzzing. Here’s a few teasers.
I think I was endearing because I am keeping the dream alive here, showcasing the behind the scenes moments that I already do but this time with a camera, the ultimate bracelet. I was starstruck and also deer in headlight and now expected to personify the crap that I brag that I am all these years aka “knowing things”.
I got a Sheep dog right off the bat. I kept my banter down to relatable shit which essentially is, who we both know, who we both have slept with, partying, crap that is applicable to me and/or my dress and what it’s like being a rockstar. I don’t think these guys were expecting something so refreshing and confusing, I was banking on candids, which I got combined with my expertise re: the limited attention spans of rockers and their managers whisking ‘em off elsewhere. Long story short, my connections got me this far now it’s up to me to get the story and produce the show.
Romesh is a bud of mine that I knew would help grant me more Hey Rosetta access. Little Raymis take notes, personalize your moments with musicians, bribe them if necessary. I can’t tell you all my secrets to success but I can tell you having a sense of humour and great teeth is a part of it. Lots of bullshit is involved too (more being funny).
Interviewing fiddlers while crouching in wedges then making a little joke about how funny your smurf interview is going. The thing about rockstars is you think all of them are too cool for you but there’s that part of them that wishes you were featuring them in your little bloggy yearbook thing too no matter how stupid their friends tell them you are so even though I didn’t get a moment with bedouin soundclash, they so wanted it. I could tell.
Do you like how I interview like we are on our way to Sherway Gardens with my purse on SERIOUSLY it’s scratch ‘n save at The Bay dudes. Hi mom!
Then I partied some. Partying in the pit with girls bopping you on the head going I WANNA KNOW WHERE YOU ARE PARTYING AFTER. I am going to start my own getting dudes laid side project business.
Dress of the summer.
Co-ordinating battle strategy.
I had a billion wristbands. Normally when I do my Raymi Lane stuff I get my Guest list and drink tix and that impresses my mates well enough, but this time I had to be sure to get everyone everywhere with me which is more than one person when you’re a film crew. It takes work that I am patting myself on the back for, some artists are like woah so many wristbands! When you tour a lot and hit new venues constantly you’ll know that sometimes promoters can get a bit diva and do not give a shit about who you are and will kibosh your guest list or I dunno, it’s a stress that you can’t flick away so it was nice to get it all sorted and I was very happy. I love Sound Academy through and through. There’s even a pool there! Pool parties! What the hell have I been doing all summer?
Note taking. Wikipedia when you plagiarize it (copy paste paragraphs) it blobs it all up with hyper links, which is atrocious and impossible to read when you’re on the spot having an exclusive with a band member.
We found the pizza party.
Didn’t have any though. There was a potato one. Lots of the bands had just come from a bbq, Dine Alone’s I think. I asked some if they felt fat. One of my big questions was why are musicians all vegetarians and one Sheep Dog said they weren’t, they all just came from a BBQ. OK NEXT QUESTION!
This is me working my voodoo. You’re my girl Kinley!
I just really liked how my legs looked here I mean, she was lovely. She liked my rings and bling, I liked hers and then we talked about fan girls and her bracelets. She plays a fiddle I’m sure she is tired of being smart all the time sometimes it’s nice to just be shallow.
And then I danced a lot and blushed a lot about it but forced it. Every time you film the crowd it’s like Wakestock or edgefest, they love it. Good footage.
Then we had a great Sam Roberts exclusive. I told him I auditioned for one of his music videos and made it to the top 3 (truth) and he was like aw we made the wrong choice and I go no you didn’t, I was fat. It was the bridge to nowhere song maybe.
I asked him what it was like to do what you love and see the happiness on fan’s faces, other media was gathering and I was hogging all his time and he poured his guts out my crew was elated. We did it! He was so sweet and humble.
I dunno. Yeah. It doesn’t matter, music dorks can slay me all they want, this isn’t Brooklyn Vegan. Even when I was going to shows (several weekly years ago) and blogging them like bananas I never knew what the hell I was seeing or writing about. It’s always been about the experience man (ok maybe a portion is about the music too hahaha) and like I said to one hippie backstager, the dress I wore was intentional, I feel something like it was in mind when rock was invented. There will always be differing opinions on music, influences, taste. Who cares, we’re all wearing denim and our facial hair is relevant. Cheers.
Ready for more? Come quick, take my hand, there’s lots to see yet. Choose footwear wisely. This is what my hand looked like before I climbed that thing.
Thought it might be softer.
So then I roughened it up even some more. It wasn’t exactly the pottery barn hahaa. Burly. bush league. Man up and all that.
Descending on to camp. There’d be a full blown mutiny by the time I was done.
Kept my eye on the villagers and then poof I was gone again.
And then I bumped into these clowns who roped me right on in to their culty schemes of climbing stuff for the mere thrill of it. Walked right in to their trap.
That’d be them.
Remember how I had 5 hours sleep. Luckily they didn’t breathalyze me. Jenn said they do for the edge walk. well there goes THAT idea. ahaha. NO wasn’t drinking this morning I just know it stays in your system cos some people can blow over morning after on their way to work from the night before even though they had a night’s rest and aren’t tanked.
This was like an if I was gonna die contract I better take full responsibility I guess, I dunno, I didn’t read any of it (who does?) It was a boring agreement form alright already lets get this show on the road!
I was stumped. Filling it out with 4 people watching and my nerves, hard task!
Removed bra so those suckers could be free.
I pretty much wore the perfect outfit for this. Guess which guy I had the crush on and who flirted with me? Claire did too, maybe she was hitting on me? Colleague was like relax we are here for work and then I LOST IT on him ahahaa. In the beginning I snapped at him ok final warning you better be fun this had to be fun you wake me up at the crack of f-k and *^&$&%E*&8y ahaha then look at me, climbing a survivor boot camp apparatus. I amaze me.
Suiting up.
On my way out we discussed her name, which is Claire and how I had chosen it as my confirmation name which doesn’t really mean anything other than it was the only name I could think of at the time. When I said my whole name once to some guy, oh right, one of my ex boyfriends (there’s tons) Lauren Krista Claire White he was like, woah, so enchanted by it, it was like a folk girl singer’s name. That is one of many stupid things he said to get me to fall in love (and move to New York) with him.
That is a long way up and a long way to fall. But more so a lot of pulling and balancing. You will be sweating profusely in seconds. I’d like to do more of this in the summer next time wearing a bikini. Like how I climbed the mountain in Red Rock .
You have three choices of walls to pick from. I am weighing my options here. I didn’t want to start it off all difficult with this one, too much swinging and I’d probably give up a lot sooner. I thought I might have been able to climb all Pirates of the Caribbean from wall to wall but no, glad I asked by yelling down before doing it first without asking. I am a hand’s on learner, no point in reading that Directions agreement I signed. Like when a plane is in the process of going down THAT is when I am going to ask you what the hell it is we are going to do. It’s out of your hands at that point except when climbing, totally in them. hA omg moving on.
At this point it hadn’t actually sunk in what I was about to do, I thought we were all just laughing about like when you find out a relative might die, has died, you don’t believe it because of course they’re all joking about something so severe. or to be less extreme, that shirt was bought up by someone else cos you didn’t want to carry it around the miami strip at night and now you regret it. Ok not the same things.
All the dopey girls I know (and love) are flipping out about my jeans. I am queen at finding cheap wicked jeans. Bluenotes baby.
Little did I know I was being initiated into the weird wild world of brickworks.
They asked if there was anything else? Yes, glass of water? I was parched.
OOOOoook this one.
Another thing I spaced on was that this would actually be work. Climbing. You don’t float up idiot! Ughhh. My colleague talks me in to all these things well, I kind of make him dare me to.
Gettin’ a bit tangly.
I was thinking, oh boy, this is going to be embarrassing, I over-estimated myself. I can do it but not today, too knackered.
But, thanks to the tick in my head that tells me to do it or else (insanity? competitiveness? I dunno) I kept climbing.
When you lean out like that your arms get tired but i couldn’t figure out a way to stretch my body out that also wouldn’t make me buckle out. Stay in a crouchy position and one hand at a time it.
I could see over the tin roof of the works and felt that that was pretty high, my god, this was enough ok time to come down now. They ignored me.
Oh jeez still so much more to go I look like a bleedin’ little ant. I was picturing my stupid brother and Linda and teacher all cashed out ’round the house hung over NOT CLIMBING UP A THING LIKE THIS and getting pissed off all over the place then laughing. I think you might go a bit mad on that.
I hated this part. Because it wasn’t already shaking enough, it shakes a hell of a lot more but the magic of zen balance was with me thanks to dance lessons, you just wait the wobbles out and when ready start climbing up the tire.
Pretty exotic, no?
The thing I am standing on is attached to the ladders/ropes and not as solidly steady as appears. I am bragging here. It was difficult.
I know right who am I Kevin Kostner in Water world? I wish. He does swan dives into the ocean and swims down to the very bottom to look at treasure and swims super fast away from bad guys. When I talk like this to boys, any male, their face goes like this o_o cos they cannot believe the stupid guy sh-t I know haha.
Omg alright already is she up yet?
I’m glad I chose the side I chose.
I seriously considered quitting at this point. I look very bad ass. I conjured up all my magic Raymbo powers and attacked that ladder like a woman scorned and succeeded. Lots more people were gathering. This was like when the bad guy climbs up the ladder of your fleeing helicopter, all tiny and dangly thing that it is. I bet I would have survived ‘Nam. Hahah hey Dad lets watch Full Metal Jacket soon…
Arms sore.
Almost.
Done.
Oh my. Long way up and down. I did it! Spectac view.
You’re all attached at the top of the rope thing here so you can’t wander around your floating raft in the sky very much plus you’re shaking from exhaustion and the climb. Maybe if I had more sleep or was in better shape I wouldn’t have been all rattly. They pulled me down thankfully NO WAY I was climbing down, not possible. Not that day anyway.
Oh my god I look like an idiot.
They say in that dove ad that 50% of girls don’t participate in things cos of body image issues F THAT look how wide my butt looks when my waist is all cinched and strapped in. I have totally stopped myself from participating in things in the past cos I felt fat somedays. So dumb. How do you expect to get thin then?
So happy to be back down there.
Everyone loved my docs. Thanks Style Exchange!
Close up poetic moment with the athlete. She is thinking about what she has done, says the whispering Wimbledon announcer.
Good luck undoing that.
Then we went cave exploring.
Nah, just other exploring not necessitating helmets though some might say that I should be with helmet at all times but then I folded them into a pretzel and threw it into the sky so I’d watch your mouth.
Look pretty fab for a mighty post feat. Fierce fearless female.
Oh great, my Vampire fangs have been exposed.
Grilled cheese time. I earned and would destroy it.
It was delicious. Caramelized onions were in it and the cheese was, I’m sure colleague got a photo of the sign. But maybe not cos I had just starvation snapped at him and he was ignoring me again. They also had scrambled egg wraps. Lovely.
The information was in front of me but the words weren’t taking hold, I think that is what people with extreme ADD (certainly my mom) experience. Once I got the sandwich in my mouth I was a scholar again. More evidence that I have slightly more testosterone than the average gal, functioning breaks down along with nutrition. Guys are complete irate crabby psychos when hungry.
Hehehh.
Bittersweet as I was still parched from even before climbing the thing, my coffee made it worse. I was as dry as a desert, getting sweatier, starved, amongst a sea of children running into my knees and shoppers dressed to the nines. Cue tantrum.
Relief.
Duh who would step on that, get dirt all over my $500 Alligator shoes?
More neatness.
And you guys just barely made the cut. Adorable.
Who decorated someone from Ocad? Zing!
Still in the climbing mode.
Woah so are they.
Cool place right?
In 1892 I don’t think they were having organic lemonade lunch breaks or encouraged to graffiti their names on walls or other dumb things I got up to. History is cool.
Oh hi there Tawfik! This is turning into the who’s who of foodie yeah?
Gnarly hair day but I am most certainly the little twink tastemaker right on and confusingly in there with these lot.
Trade secret up and over the mountain with your double chins before a photo is snapped. Gosh I’m awful generous. It’s only because I am usually the best looking one and get screwed over all the time if one person looks bad so I gotta cover my livelihood here ya know. (this is part of my stand-up material and way less stingy when said in person).
I say it deadpan and loud enough for all the surrounding women to hear, they gather and boom that’s raymitheminx tv.
Tawfik is a quick study, raise that chin to the heavens.
Throw in the teeth.
This fox is Arlene, she’s like the Amber Mac (in the capacity that everyone is all gaga about her) of all these foodie people, bigger even. She is my new buddy, Brickworks is her Domain and she taught me all about it, what was left of my brains to absorb if at all. When Rob met her last year the first thing out of his mouth was a come on. Hilarious. That’s the Parkdale Boys Club for ya, we don’t let ya down. (Rob by the way is now more so internationally famous, his eyeborg eye made the bbc news).
Super modest too, didn’t want her photo taken. I’m like why you look so glamorous and fresh and I literally fell off a jungle gym and had 3 minutes sleep last night. We talked about the marsh landy water thing there and planting native plants (what no palm trees? lol) and she pointed up a hill and said when the leaves are gone you can see a Rosedale home. DOPE guy! It’s such a lovely little sanctuary, def have a weekend visit before it starts snowing and get there early to get a parking spot. Take the Grandfolks to score extra points you only gotta walk around in a circle, your Nan will love all the doo-dads and the posh people watching (Mom, Nana would be Queening hardcore) and then you go home with the shopping that you bought from all those yuppie hippies and eccentrics and have your wine and make a fancy feast. There, I just designed your thanksgiving weekend you’re bloody welcome!
Liked that dog’s built-in sunglasses.
The picnic flyer. If it wasn’t a to do I’d wear my bear suit, teddy bear picnic!
ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER AND ONE OF THESE THINGS IS RAYMI!
The grilled cheese gave me my super powers back so I gave a mini tour of this junky antique showcase. BACK IN 1892 THEY MADE MINIATURE BRICKS LIKE THIS WHICH WAS PROBLEMATIC FOR PRODUCTIVITY AND ‘TWAS NOT UNTIL ADVANCEMENTS IN TECHNOLOGY THAT THEY COULD THEN MANUFACTURE LARGER BRICKS TO SPEED UP THE PACE OF BUILDING STUFF. Colleague was tuning me out at this point. You know what, how do I become a writer for Saturday Night Live? They rip off material enough as is they may as well pay me for it.
Adorable. I have a miniature collection and fetish. Thanks mom.
Bought a sweet and smokey. She didn’t have change. That became an ordeal. I asked her to borrow money off another hippie.
HI!
That chick was fiddling, I danced but I didn’t want to pay her for her dance music so I didn’t make eye contact we kept going hahaa.
Humongous beans. Some place like Cowbell would give you a huge piece of meat and three of these smugly criss-crossed a-top and call it a day. Oh god My one chef and Raymi show idea is so solid I hope it gets picked up some day.
OK DONE! LOVE YOU! CALL ME!
About Evergreen Brick Works
Evergreen Brick Works is a community environmental centre that inspires and equips visitors to live, work and play more sustainably. Evergreen, a national charity, has transformed the former Don Valley Brick Works from a collection of deteriorating heritage buildings into an international showcase for urban sustainability and green design that is open year-round.
What is Evergreen?
Evergreen is a national charity that makes cities more livable. By deepening the connection between people and nature, and empowering Canadians to take a hands-on approach to their urban environments, Evergreen is improving the health of our cities—now and for the future.
Our two flagship programs—Learning Grounds and Common Grounds—have helped more than half a million Canadians transform their local landscapes from barren asphalt into dynamic, thriving green spaces.
Evergreen Brick Works, our most innovative project to date, is both a stage and incubator for Evergreen’s programs.
Learn more about Evergreen’s work across Canada at evergreen.ca.
For me to read during a comedy stand-up set otherwise I’ll just have to make up my own or comb my email and I am already busier than Moses right meow. Come on Little Raymis, you know you’ve been dying to tell me how much you want to smell, eat, or be my hair lately. HA.
RAYMI@RAYMITHEMINX.COM
Be commemorated forever and the winner can request a coveted Raymi treasure of their choosing.
Ew I am already getting creeped out pre-maturely, thank you for that!
XO Your brave and loyal hero, Raymbo.
(It doesn’t necessarily have to be creepy, you’re the designer though, the power is in your hands. It can be a love sonnet about me, stuff about why I am so great, the usual).
I think I will be a great stand-up comedian. I have so much more content to work with than the regular SO I WAS STRIKING OUT WITH A GIRL LAST NIGHT or MY WIFE SAYS.. or SO THE FLIGHT FROM BOSTON blabbity blaaaaah. Mine’s all, DO YOU WANT TO HELP ME TRACK DOWN THE GUY WHO INVENTED THE WEIRD GREEN PLASTIC FAKE GRASS IN SUSHI CONTAINERS COS I AM TIRED OF PONDERING THIS PHENOMENA and SO APPARENTLY WHEN I PUNCHED MY BROTHER IN THE HEAD IT DIDN’T AT ALL HURT HIM COS HIS HEAD IS REALLY HARD AND HE’S TAKEN ENOUGH PUNCHES ALREADY BEFORE AND IT WAS LIKE TINKERBELL CRUMBLING HER ARM INTO SWISS CHEESE I DUNNO and THE THING ABOUT THE INTERNET IS IT’S RUN BY NERDS TRYING TO BE COOL AND YOU HAVE TO SPEND EXTRA TIME TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY SOMEONE SAID THAT THING TO YOU AND THEN YOU REALIZE THAT THEY ARE 4 FEET TALL ACTUALLY AND SMELL WICKED BAD THANKS TO TWITTER PARTIES.
Next time colleague please remind me to shine it up a bit, I spaced on the fact that this is elitist commune mecca. Luckily I grabbed that scarf on my way out, Slob Chic, THAT’S what’s up now!
Under eye bags photo trick – show the eyes but cut off/obscure at moonbeams. I may flirt with the idea of a work shop for little raymis. My trade secrets. We will cover everything.
Is that a cabbage? I think so.
Mini elevated hills just covered in evergreens, I was annoyed colleague didn’t capture all of it. I am the director too here. I made a funny David Suzuki joke too, he’s gonna be at the picnic I’m going to next weekend, not next one but THE NEXT. I have a major (big) one for David Suzuki. Another national treasure. I waved my hand across all of the evergreens magically and proclaimed in mock-brickworks grounds tour guide speak NOW WHAT HAPPENED HERE WAS DAVID SUZUKI WAAAAVED HIS HAND ACROSS THE LANDS AND FORTH SPRUNG A MIGHTY FIELD OF NEW GROWTH. Gahahah It was a very fun day, I ended up scaling a Trojan horse for crying out loud.
I love bantering with merchants. I feel like you have to be a marginal amount of looney baloonies to rock it Gypsy-like in the open stall markets. Her sweaters were $48. Vintage. Look brand new, I was like, how did they survive! She’s like well, there are quilts in museums…good point (Colleague lets get the heck out of here before I buy one for my niece).
OMG we are doing the same facial expression. All women turn into the Shire if they’ve blue blood in ‘em. ACK!
Holy toledos. It’s warm even though it’s open. I know what I’m wearing to the gala. GUESS! GUESS! PLEASE! I am bursting at the seams I cannot keep secrets!
How do I manage to look like a platinum Ramone? It’s the nose right and the beatle face smile?
That’s my tomboy gait. The Fred Perry kids were like, that golf shirt looks amazing on you, not all girls can pull it off as it’s a men’s. I said that’s cos I have tomboy in my veins. Here I am sampling a weird white tomato thing. Tasted like a cherry, was called one in fact but then I realized it was TYPE of a tomato not a weird little snozzberry. I think she thought I was stupid or something.
The counsel meeting regarding game plan strategy about the party I imagine. I suggested army figurines and one of those Casino rakes for craps tables and push armies around. Someone remind me when EMPIRE RAYMI is built to do that at our team meetings and I will need art from Angelo to build a mini UN vibe.
We took off while the brick chicks worked so I could work the grounds and learn it.
Haha that kid back there. Kids are so monkies.
Lots of posing, lots of people watching, lots of lots of hangover hollywood, couples doing the thing, the Saturday afternoon thing.
I got five hours sleep. I forgot my brother and Linda were coming into town.
Southern Ontario WHAT WHAT! Doesn’t that make you think of African Lion Safari? No just me?
Those are all actual rivers, water is running through from actual rivers all leading to brickworks is that right? Ha Colleague is going to have a lot of copy cleaning up to do. Whatever man there are 200 photos here to work with. Hang tight. The Mayor may also be at this party. I don’t know if I am supposed to be saying this or not.
I liked the tropical rustic beauty. There is art all over Brickworks. They are 8 years old and work with the old, cross it with some new and voila, party central. Great to have a place like this just touching the city and Celebrity chefs everywhere abound too.
I found the tiniest cute thing in this Labyrinth playground. Oh so cute.
Speaking of wizards, don’t I look like one?
Bricks everywhere. Brick flowing rivers beneath bridges, I noticed. (so many clever things to notice).
Hippie heaven haven. It truly is like Wizard of Oz, see the flowing brick rivers in the distance?
Yo take a picture of this so I can make fun of it later. I actually really dig it.
Dude do something with all that wood, clean up that pile of wood! OK I KNOW! Arlene told me it’s a christmas tree. Cool. I picture it burning at burning man or at the cottage when you run out of firewood. We’ve burnt entire picnic tables. Then you wake up with no furniture and someone always gets a little grouchy about it. HA.
There’s a little pilgrim cowboys and indians style village for witches thing, I mean for your children to play on (it’s awesome dump them there then go shopping) on the other side and check out that gigantic purple daisy coming out of the wall. I swear I thought I was hallucinating throughout this tour but am glad there are pictures to show that I wasn’t and that I didn’t eat the Alice in Wonderland mushroom.
This leans at the exact angle of the leaning tower of Pisa.
Tiny humour is amazing. If Jackass can do it then I can too.
Doing this with a crowd and colleague, I am a happening.
Kids and people markings everywhere. Time pieces. I like.
ol Aunt Raymbo had a message for visiting folks from other planets too.
I’ll speed this up.
Always self-promote.
Yeah exactly.
I got those to piss off my brother (he had the same oxbloods) so I’ll wear them at Saturday’s 90’s reunion party to piss him off more, plus my Fred Perry shirt. I need to get suspenders. Going to be hype. I’ll get the whole town drinking the raymi kool-aid then throw a bash for them in Toronto sometime. Sometimes we have to go back to our peoples to find out who are. That is a Native proverb I just invented ahahaha. I set a goal for myself to force a joke beneath each photo I post in this blog feature in order to stay sharp on my comedy cos Ben Miner is going to help me prepare for my stand-up comedy debut. Fully serious. the more insane and terrifying and thrill-seeky the activity I engage in, the better the outcome of it. My body just started violently shaking when I started typing about stand-up.
Almost gave that onesie away on permanent loan cos I was like, there is no way I am going back down in size to a shrunken 2, the time I bought it the zero also fit me so yeah, but, looky-loo how’doya do?
Our walk to Mezzrow’s for our first patio date together ever was straight ridiculous. As was our patio antic entertaining for the regular rummies. Teacher met up then we went for a Bison burger waiting for it on the patio of Stampede and proper saw a store walker take down of a shoplifter, yikes the look in his eyes, was moments prior watching him chat up his friends, who then got to see him get busted. I cringed ten jillion times and got our burger to go.
Stella got to play with Al’s dog Quinty. I didn’t want to take Stella out cos I know of her neurotic deficiencies but Al has ancient dog wisdom, I have zero, his dog is famous in pdale, so he was like it’s fine it’s fine bring her. NO not fine. I was, ok this is going to be TMI but, I had a tampon emerg and knew STella would be dragging me the entire time totally flipped out. There would be Parkdale obstacle course chess pieces in form of lunatics and derelicts that jump out of shop doors like a funhouse ride, I needed to get to a pharmacy and get to Mezzrow’s but go the back way and do they let psychotic dogs come in to stores with you? The way I have always done it is just bring her in. Sometimes I actually pretend to be blind (I have a blind fan who reads this so I am sure he will be pumped about that haha hi bud!) and it gets funny when I start reading things off big bags of chips BLIND ACT OVER.
So we get there, it all worked out. But then she tried to nose her way on to the patio 300 times. I don’t think dogs were bread with patio beering in mind but maybe they were, I feel like a lot of their lineage is britishly-linked and Stella is a border collie blue healer which i envision (do you like how all my facts are based on feelings and beliefs rather than factual fact? Ahahahah YES I TELL YOU WHAT THE F-ING NEWS IS TODAY) revolves around tiny towns with moors and pubs and cable-knit sweaters so, Stella’s great great great grandma-ma sat on the cobblestones of the McMaster Arms back in her time while her owner cradled his pints. All we do is watch big brother uk now so I am learning all kinds of new accents to fake. I love how Tara Reid is talking like them too, one part based on premature dementia and one part just the nature of acting.
Always loved this house.
I had to go have a relax on the patio cos yesterday I worked non-stop on all projects presently on deck. Get someone who is already busy to do something for you and they will get it done. Throw it in their cyclone but not only that I have no other choice, all projects need a lot of love in the building stages however, I had done enough and it was absolutely gorgeous out and I got in this line of work to set my own damn hours and damnit It was time to take a walk. We are pushing our luck with these sunshiney warmish days and I have SAD plus it was the red tide, I deserve a break why do I feel guilty (somewhat) even while “relaxing” my mind is chomping through mental workish data, all the writing I have to do. Blah who cares. I was so going to wrap this up but then I wanted to add one more picture which turned into ten more so, yeah.
I like how my toasted marshmallow hat matches my hair, it reminds me of Pamela Anderson’s furry hat. I like how she told that posh guy (bbuk) to stop hunting foxes, and BAD SPORT. She is such a lady. All I do is talk about big brother uk now and apply every single life situation to it, I use it to justify my shitty behaviour as well as to defend it, I use big brother examples hereto and sunder and now I am talking like them too. It’s hilarious and bringing back my time in England and how absurd it is that it’s normal for them to talk like babies about wanting cuddles and such. Also I first ever watched big brother while in England and the addiction to it as a Nation, it’s pandemonium, Beatlemania-esque and I got to experience it so watching it now helps me regress back to 17 again on that couch in Wimbledon. At night I’d smoke cigs on the drive and step on huge snails, they’re everywhere and massive. SICK. I started wearing flip flops after the first time.
Then we were lying in bed, silent for ten minutes, and I pick up right where I had left off downstairs in the kitchen about Aden or some’ingk (That’s Newcastle accent, Jay is a Jordy boy and talks like that aghh get out of my head!!)
But I am actually getting pretty good at it so I’ll have a full-blown proper fake accent ready for you in about a week. Right in time for Oktoberfest, which would actually require a German accent. Ugh. Teacher tricked his kids the other day and didn’t tell them there wasn’t a difference between a German and Austrian accent. Hahaha.
He shows some of these pics to his colleagues. One guy shakes his head and repeats IT’S NOT FAIR. ahahahaha.
Ok that’s enough fussin’ about. ps. CHECK OUT Mykel’s Etsy. Get your little ghoul a necklace like I got my Hailey one. BOO!
LESLIE I WILL MAIL YOU THAT PAINTING I SWEAR You know my style.
