I swear if you start complaining that “morning wood” makes it hard to aim at the toilet, I’ll lose it !

I’ve been watching you very closely since your move to the burbs, you probably think I don’t know what’s going on, but I do!

Lets look at the evidence from your recent posts, pictures and videos from the grasshoper, hwy #6 and millgrove sideroad, the thirsty cactus (fyi duke’s chicken sandwich best thing on the menu) and now down in the Hammer. It has become very clear to me that you have stolen my ordinary life and now you’re trying to pass it off as your own!!

I should warn you this will not be tolerated! I know someone that works in ” the industry” and he has informed me that he will investigate the ” boring and coincidental”

For all you know he could be doing a street by street search of Burlington right now! Just looking for some hot chick hiding behind red curtains and a blonde mane,so tread lightly my blogger friend.

To the nut case that inspired this piece of fiction, my advice to you is to remember that we live in a time where there’s a pill for every ill. So take 2 and shut the fuck up!