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unsmiling woman

join my extremely hardcore gang it costs 20 bucks and you get these stupid glasses plus protection too. we go out in roves for moonpies and pennywhistles, we never swear and we dance for old people in nursing homes.

peg leg.

some leftovers can be found here.

grab a copy of the metro today and look for sofi’s column, cut it out, mount and frame it, hang it on your wall. or just read it on the internet.

anyway, my two cents on that thing is maybe everything was what it seemed all along if i wasn’t ever smiling. no one bothered to ask. JUST SAYING. ok i can tell i’m premenstrual when i think yell-typing is comedic.

I was watching The Colbert Report last night and he discussed a news story
out of Vancouver (like most geo-ignernt Americans I have no real idea of
where you are in Canada) about a woman who is going around randomly kicking
men in the balls. I immediately thought of you even though I haven’t
checked out your blog in quite a while (tyranny of the crappy computer). It
seemed like the type of guerilla-conceptual-performance art movement that
would require a true innovator, which we all know you are.

I’m not going to say that I hope this movement catches on around here, as
my boys bruise easily, but it’s a novel idea nonetheless. I’d also like to
note that you appear fine, fit, and prosperous which is beautiful. I’ll try
that beer and o.j. thing and check the blog regularly once more.

Life is a cabaret – two drink minimum.

— Admiral Farragut

one more place i’m mentioned (for now). kate is a magnificent writer i have no sour grapes. she gets it right (most of the time). though i’d say i’m more reactionary than i am sensitive. reactionary because i’m sensitive maybe. definitely. probably. i really liked her use of the word albatross. turned it over and over in my head last nite, numerous times.

anyway, somewhat related, came across this postsecret yesterday (remember those things do you miss my take-downs?)

once i got passed the terribly confusing way that sentence ends i thought well fuck, be grateful you’re not a blogger then. if you only knew. i am often asked how i deal with online hatred, trolls, name-calling, incessant relentless constant torment. i think it changes from person to person. i’ve always had a strong ability to distract myself for the sake of self-preservation. if there was chaos around me (yelling) i’d read and play music, tune it out. i guess my brain orchestrates a circus up in there for me or something cos sometimes the things that get said about me oh shit if i spent more time considering such things i’d swan dive off a building. drinking helps too but we all know how helpful it really is after all. it isn’t. the thing most annoying about this blogging shit is the real life people who get in the way of it, who make assumptions. who say really shitty stuff about you behind your back to relatives and start family wars. i have taken it from all sides, basically. for years. being the bigger person all the time is tough. i know they’re reading still. obsessively. do i want to smear the hell out of them like they did me? yes. do they deserve it? absolutely. will i do it? no. not worth it. they don’t deserve the attention. the same goes for troll commenters. ignore delete delete delete. that’s how i deal. i forward out the comments to a few close friends, we try to decipher who the piece of shit is, make fun of them, then move on. once i ban them, naturally. don’t swallow it all on your own, share it with people. i can remember a time a year ago i was getting it really really bad, i lost seven pounds in two days over it but anyway i was told that it would “ruin us” or could if i focused on it too much or talked about it. wrong. NOT talking about it will ruin ME, it bears no consequence for you. so i silently took it and it changed me. hardened me. made me skeptical of everyone, people i considered friends. ugh.

if i wasted my time trying to figure out why people say the things they say or feel the way they feel about me then i’d have a really popular blog. oh, wait… as always i have so much more to say on this topic but it’ll have to wait.

next up on the agenda dun dunna nuh! (trumpets): DEPRESSIVE REALISM.

28 thoughts on “unsmiling woman

  1. i tried to introduce oj and beer to mexico and the were not gonna have it at all. they toyed with the idea of mixing beer and lime margaritas togeths, but the oj-beer love afair seemd sacrelig to them. next time.

  2. you can mix beer with anything. wine too. order rickard’s white and you’ll get an orange slice with it. pour some tropicana in that guy at home, or order a shorty of oj. so refreshing.

  3. it’s weird being a reader and seeing you talk about the haters cause on this side it feels like there’s fewer of them than of people who have read you and like you for years. all those “nasty” articles are written by one-time viewers, they got a peek and the think with one glace they know it all. even before i met-met you I knew you weren’t a bad person. And it wasn’t from assuming, I just took the information that was given by you and pieced it together.

  4. Hey Raymi

    I tied to send this to your email, but it seemed like the email address was duff. Anyhow, it’s kind of a “speaking of writing…” message. I write some songs. This one I wrote in a disappointed pout when I came through the door and the better half did not act like I was the king. I thought matters over, guitar clutched, and came up with this ditty. Further, I confess that you and the former Mr. Minx came to mind, sort of tangentially, as examples of folks who had given it the old college try. This is more your Dad’s taste in music (maybe) but I hope you like it anyhow…

    Johnny Maudlin

  5. There will always be “haters”, some of them came after me to get to you
    don’t even read them, just press delete
    and you don’t even have to analyze why

    because people like this are very unhappy,depressed,bitter,lacking in attention,shit disturbing and go for negative attention being that they can’t get any positive feedback.
    They resort to abuse

    Can’t change “the type” so just delete


    i thought the receptionist at my doc’s office was a phone dispatch for pizza pizza two days ago which is why i had to eat a pizza last nite.

  7. side note- i used to be in this troop that entertained old people at nursing homes. we sang and danced to 50’s medleys. true story.

  8. oh god what is THIS mess:

    anyway, my two cents on that thing is maybe everything was what it seemed all along if i wasn’t ever smiling. no one bothered to ask. JUST SAYING. ok i can tell i’m premenstrual when i think yell-typing is comedic.

  9. Love the post secret posts. Fake smiling for pictures is really really really difficult, and anyway people can tell that you’re not happy. I think.

  10. wouldn’t it be awesome if you could set up your gmail so that anything with certain hater-ish words was just automatically deleted (like obliterated, not put in some folder for you to see later). You should email google and ask them, you are a star, I am sure they would develop that feature for you. people that send mail telling you how they don’t like you are, like, a total waste of space.

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