I feel as though I’m coming out of a fog

…and like myself again. It feels good to be back but where that is, who knows who cares I have done a lot of pretentious self-reflection self love self care weird fucking things this summer I dunno. I isolated myself. I took’er easy. Any way I will be working my way backward through my phone of the things that are still there on it that I did this summer and the thoughts that I had while doing them and that will be that. In the blink of an eye the season t’was over but it’s not officially done until sept 21 So. There.

Oh my god if you saw the set-up I am dealing with right now to get wifi into my own apartment you would die I am trying so hard not to be a bitch and just roll with it but add loud hammering into the fold louder because my door is wide open to get the signal using a stool as a table and my shoe rack as a mouse pad rest even moving it a fraction to the left cuts it off so where I thought I was on easy street before on my micro-kitchen counter…I download netflix movies from my account so that I can binge them in bed by nightfall I am too annoyed and embarrassed to show a picture here I sent one to Marie and she was like girlllll get Rogers I didn’t want to get into it here! but maybe the secret to maintaining an audience (like women in China livestreaming do) is to complain and share every fucking mundane thing that I roll my eyes at other people sharing on Facebook and yet… read every goddamn bit of it myself.

I have been back in the city a couple weeks now? Going on week 3? I spent a month abouts in Burlington, from Wasaga, to Oakville and all I had packed were bathingsuits and one pair of shorts that I wore all summer LMFAO… anyway we will get back to that. But anyway since I have been home in Toronto NO WIFI. The Super was my wifi hookup and he moved out. I refuse to spend one more fucking dime on anything period in this city if I can help it especially since there is pre-existing wifi in our building already this whole time unbeknownst to me, and a strong signal at that if you can bloody reach it, or speed, at least when my door is open and I am perched over my laptop like an arachnid from District 9 (look it up) my fucking back is killing me bruh.

Now I can bundle my phone package with internet right? Wrong. But then the guy at rogers is like wait I can get you a good deal. Brother man fuck you. Don’t act all back door special with me I have had my account since I was 19, I am 36, do the math I am paying you way too fucking much already. Even if I bit the bullet we still need to figure out where the fuck to install it in this old-ass building. Why the hell would I even go get my own modem when it’s already here and we just need an extender on the existing modem down the fucking hall from me I can see right now I am legit on my last nerve — fix this yesterday. Was told will just go by the computer store on College 2 weeks ago and it hasn’t happened I am beyond pissed. I am also SICK of having my door OPEN – it isn’t safe. Maintenance dudes keep looking in AT me too as a bonus while I am typing here on a stool. I will probably delete this but I needed to explode. I am annoying them they are annoying me. They can hear my same twenty songs I play over and over.

Other than that I am doing great and very happy ahhaha sorry! Not lying.

I am glad with the things in my life that I do which make me happier at a later point in time when I look at my photos and in the moment I have this obsessive compulsion to capture and hoard experiences and then self-reflect maybe share a fraction of my adventures later on I have been doing this for the majority of my life it is my truth and it’s how I sought to attract my tribe, anyone, who would listen to and see me.

I see poets as roving packs of magic creatures, demented, lovingly so besought by their wariness and experience I eat it up. I fill my head up with so much fantasy to self-preserve and contain my way, in which I need to constantly justify my nature? Truth be told I am comfortable in who I am, arrogant, and also afraid. It is an adrenaline at your backside. Think twenty minutes of anxiety every twenty minutes and that is how I live.

you have to make amends with everything before you can suffer nothing before you can be everything you ever wanted to be.

We’re always thinking of little schemes and ideas for me to hone my talents which are so fucking good like a how to online date thing where I tell newbs what to watch out for because let me tell ya I have been a bible of wisdom for my squad in their new time of swipings prime of recent.

I just have this life I dreamt of before when i was so enamoured by hipsterism kooky aesthetic and am now trapped by it because living in Toronto is so expensive when I leave this place they will slap paint on and charge $2000 for it so I am like fighting the man and the power and everyone always anywhere anytime.

I need my mister dress-up lifestyle I look to other institution peoples like myself in Toronto, how they are fairing, and some have all become lampoons of themselves by design, by necessity, and by need to survive. We all have had our own successes, failures, fall-backs. BUT most importantly COMEBACKS and I am here for it! I so support my fellow Toronto celebs my music industry pals who helped MAKE ME. ILU 4EVR #Gratitude #blessed.

NOW on to my next annoying topic to rant about which is purely self-inflicted toxicity of my own actions embedded deep within a place of my disgusting vanity and vulgur as it is I find it hard to justify looking pale in the winter time I am only angry at myself for not freezing my account for two months of the summer such waste throwing money in the garbage and tanning salons are crooks in the bests of times you have to show up and do paperwork like a gym like uhhm no one has time to even consider the sheer terror of that.

Perhaps you find what I find in this blog style vein of an art-form to be antiquated, outlandish out of style but it is normal to me. I never knew but of anything else and to even fucking second guess it is a travesty.

How greedy with your time are you? Because I am so far gone indulgent with mine I was JOMO before that ever existed like putting your state of being in a physical valium existence this is what Netflix does to us today it’s just too good too easy to watch through a cinematic lens parallel to our facebook landscape connections to those we knew years ago.

And getting back to basics of doing irl things is utterly amazing. As an adventure thrill-seeker you fill the chambers of the void with constant doing the older you get because you finally know and fear and realize how limited time truly is.

Nothing makes me feel more emotional, more poetic, more depressed, than autumn. If it were a person I would punch it in the face, buy it drinks, and ghost it. Because you know what comes next. Sacrifices are fun and all unless you’re the cat on the pyre. Winter is LONG. I think the majority of my blog posts are about how much I fucking hate winter. Wow.

I’ll just take a sec to switch gears here and breathe.. LOL.

Nothing bothers me but everything makes me insane.

Relate?

I come up with these lines all day long I wish I would just write them down make a set out of them. This is the start. This is a preclude to a podcast.

the things that you admire, inspire, and you let shine out through and you remember that moment again and what it reminded you of so sweetly, to begin with.

If you want to go somewhere from 1909 go to Allan Gardens. Bring a b cup, a marie antoinette glass (coup glass) cos she had b cup sized tits ha ha I love that!

Took in two softball games ate shawarmas it was lovely.

It got cold though. Made do.

All in all a great summer it has been. I went all over and was a beach bum as much as poss.

SO here is the story of my Christmas blanket. Since nobody asked. Two Christmas parties ago I was a marketer for an agency and I lost my receipt for all the Christmas crap I bought for the Christmas staff party and they were like Raymi we can’t reimburse you for that so I was like fine THIS BLANKET IS MINE NOW plus all these elves. lmao.

I left behind lots of shit there is no love lost I just think it’s funny. I bought it for this couch we had in the office Tess suggested I cover it up with something as a last ditch effort Dollarama came through. Those girls loved me Valentines day Easter St Patricks Christmas Canada day Halloween those were good times sigh. I’d go to Dollarama her beside my place before work and pick out fun ass things to put together on display for instagram and clients and candy for the team for morale.

See that bee.

They were everywhere.

I went to pee and came back with crayons and we had a colouring contest had a girl impartially judge who was better and we won against my boy Troy sorrryyyyyyyyy we only had three colours to work with.

Love this beach, bish.

We found a discarded bubble disc I have no other way of knowing how to describe it but anyway it was essentially a frisbee so we tossed it back and forth until it broke for a good 20 minutes I stood on top of the rock formation because it was the last place the sun was hitting and it was such a perfect game of frizz I felt like an Olympian all these moments I shotgun to my heart to get me through winter my least spirit animal.

So happy to live so close to here.

and to here.

So centrally located to many places it’s why I live where I live and I take it because it’s a gem and when I lived in the beaches I felt the same melancholy temporariness that it was living anywhere in Toronto but I am grateful for what I have right now so that’s that! It’s fucking cool it’s unique it speaks to my eccentricities my lone wolfism fuck yeah no roommates.

Oh lord I uploaded way too many photos than actually wanted to deal with so lets to be continued this never-ending story for now thanks guys see ya.

heard u were lookin for me

Hello its been awhile. Thirteen days, to be exact. Which is a short while if you consider my infrequency yadda yadda ya. I’m ready if you are.

I felt like I was in the mood to blog yesterday and today but now here I am and uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Hey is that that “cell phone charger” purse everyone made fun of Kim Kardashian for not too long ago? I think it is or something thereof and now I want it… so small and compact, for all the clubbing that I do not do.

One Christmas, two ago, I showed up to my Nana’s wearing this and my mom was wearing a red plaid shift dress too. We have had this happen many times over the years it’s a cosmic like mother like daughter thing, with no prior planning or talking, it just happens.

This post is just an old fashioned smattering. Blogging for the sake of blogging. Blog and telling. Honestly, the good things that happen just from pressing publish here sometimes y’all might just try it for yourselves huh? Talk less shit and do more shit.

How to make friends: buy some.

Hi girls.

Bedridden all weekend basically movie after movie bender. We went out for Mr. Greek Sunday early night and it was DEAD. The soup sucked. The salad, okay.

I don’t mind the post apocalyptic vibe after watching infinity end of the world movies this weekend. This setting would be trashed if that were real. I know they hooked it up with Dollarama decorations as there was one in the parking lot and I used MY BRAIN.

Looked normal but was bland. Needed soup all the same ah suppose.

Not the best foodie photo in terms of subject.

On my walk home the other night. This store always has a cute display alack I’m not into clutter I have enough but I appreciate the artwork. We are drawn to things that remind us of things we once experienced or owned, another time period.

I’m blessed I don’t have a sweet tooth. I love photographing sweets though, decadent, colourful, darling confectionaries that they are. I can’t walk by a Fortino’s bakery showcase without getting whiplash on my phone camera arm capturing those bad boys fast enough. Stay tuned on this though I just recalled something I have coming down the pipeline for y’all regarding dessert.

I think this is the Kylie lipstick app. It’s basic. I dun curr.

My NEXT post will be about the ADVENTURES OF RAYMARIE. Get it? Marie and me? BYE BRANGELINA.

Big appreciator of the Burlington sunset game. It’s always gorgeous from the vantage point of this parking lot. It is the best I don’t care how much suburban shit is in the way.

Oh hi there you’ve been indoctrinated into the Burlington town club :).

I do it’s true. It stems from year’s back during my early hey day of emo selfies gazing into the lens trying to out-stare myself. I am the subject, I am the artist gazing back at. Some people have resting bitch face, me? Stoic. Because my mind is sizing up everything before me, calculating shit I is busy guy. I also admire the vacancy a la editorial aesthetic.

I love Toronto. You get to go on a magical Christmas adventure everywhere you turn.

Last week Monday and now she’s back in Mumbai honestly one of my greatest lesser known lowkey pals, cos of that whole doesn’t live here thing but we’re all huge fans. Come back soon!

Nostrils check. jk. I was just so tired-looking this day it seemed to be the only flattering angle to get me at. I worked at wework this day because a mystery package arrived of beautiful psychedelic lipsticks and sometimes the universe is like Raymi here, you need some more disco in your life and you are like yasss bitch!

This lipstain stays on hours so I don’t have to feel naked lipped like I normally am. It’s all in the details.

Yesturrrrrrday and I am okay with that.

Always take several variations of the same picture so as to ensure pissing off everybody.

Got these for my Dad lol. We should live in a society where we get paid for a brief review of every item we ever buy as to always be making money back. I’m not wrong. Like, if you wanted to know my thoughts about either of these things? You gotta pay for that even if it’s a shit review you get paid oh the things I would say about this grilled chicken pasta lean cuisine CRAP A LA CRAP right now. There is my brief review now put $1 into my account thanks bye hahaha.

Nana’s tree on fleek. Always is. Oh but if this tree could talk lol.

Sure I’m down you know it.

Work hallway.

Wedge salad I can still taste, think about, and will eat again.

This is the other bathroom at work it took me a few weeks to even discover. The other one is hella drab so I was like SWEET RELIEF when I discovered this one.

Oh hi there she is!

We shared mussels, the special. Two orders. Patrick from work was there too. It was a very chilly night.

And yes I was as I feel like I do nothing mostly, which is fine I don’t feel the burning sensation to show a non-stop cocktail party lifestyle full of fabulous shit I much enjoy the mundane simple pleasures blah blah but I do like to go out a wee bit to balance it out, the cold weather makes me feel claustrophobic from hibernation at times which makes Toronto ideal because there are just so many various pockets of entertainment for you to explore when you start climbing the walls.

Alright I get it, you get it? Have a good one!

I’m a party girl in a party world

Hey there it’s me I’m back to say what’s up and chat a little bit before I burn out on blogging again for the next couple weeks (months) haha. There have been a few changes since we last hung out. Where to begin? In the middle probably works although if you follow me on all my socials you’ll know what gwan already – here we just elaborate more.

Let’s start with work first. We have moved offices and so far so good so awesome. It’s not too far from where I live I can just bike all the way up Sherbourne and be a sweaty mess by the time I get to Bloor BUT I get chiseled in the torso from pedaling, using my whole body and then on the way home it’s a chill-ass free fall going down south pretty easy. You heard about the bike deaths happening lately in Toronto don’t worry I am a good cyclist, I know the roads, and I don’t listen to music I am fully-alert. I think cars SHOULD slow down and chill the fuck out, there have been days when streetcars or a vehicle whomever is behind the wheel will want to race me and let me know they got around me only for me to beat them again and again just goes with the flow of traffic/congestion and bikes being able to get around like fuck off guy let me live my life and get out of your way we can all get along, right?

Something nice I did today happened as a little boy came walking down the stairs to the subway and passed me as I just got off, he was going really slow and I said to him, you can still make it – I knew the train was still there. He knew what I meant and then beat it all the way down the stairs where he no doubt got onto that subway train. I bet he was like, that lady was so nice wow and then he did something nice for someone else too hopefully. Sometimes, often times, I will say hi to strangers, randoms, cashiers, wish them a nice day or simply smile at them when I know they’re not happy and probably no one has acknowledged them as human beings like all day so I take it upon myself to be the light. Many times I can be depressed and stuck in a particular head space and it would be nice to have like everyone shine positive attention on me for a few minutes but then there are times I am like fuck off please so it’s up to you to know the difference and good luck with that.

Date night last week and I am unapologetically happy as heck because I have been boyfriend-hunting for the right one for too long now. We are fortunate that we were set up on a date by his father and we instantly connected. I am gaga right now. I love that Ariana Grande is also in a whirlwind romance right now too I can relate just block the haters out.

This is the outfit I chose to make an impression including sexy heels from my mom. My mom gave me the skirt it’s a bit big maybe I can shrink it. I showed up a bit late and it had started pouring rain, the restaurant was packed and I had to walk through the entire thing to get to their special table everyone’s head turned like a Julia Roberts who is that moment. I still have my coat check tab because we were the last ones in the restaurant and I just walked behind the curtain to get my raincoat for myself. After the date we got on the phone immediately I think he texted first and we were just totally grinning high on life I was invited to the cottage the next day as you know I went up and the rest is history.

I jumped off a 30 foot rock into the lake landing the way you do not want to land and learned a valuable lesson to point my toes when people tell you to do so, it’s more than a suggestion – it felt like hitting cement and yes it was embarrassing. My bruise is just about healed two weeks later. A girl was too scared to jump so I went up there to support although I knew I’d chicken out too and I won’t be doing that again until I practice off of less-high rock faces.

This is from Tuesday and these are some pretty important people to me, the work fam. Send off drinks for Evan whom will be missed but change isn’t the end of the world.

I tried for a Madonna look and realized it was not really work appropriate although my personality and confidence can help be part of the outfit therefore it doesn’t matter what I wear. I am stubborn and go by the beat of my own drum so it takes awhile to penetrate. My laundry in my building has been out of order for weeks and I am starting to lose my fucking mind they tell me today it will be good which means my life will be laundry for the next few days.

There he is.

When we can’t see each other we text when we can and now facebook video message. It’s nice to have a balance and someone who wants to do shit with you and you don’t have to chase. We are a good fit.

The benefits of being happy are so many. You look better and well, you’re happy. Relaxed. The hunt is over. Tired of dating people and you know within a second they’re not the one and you’re not the one and then you’re like is it ever gonna happen for me? Let’s be real, I am 35. I have definitely thought for awhile like ok am never gonna have a kid now great I will be a bitter woman for the rest of my life and look at kids and babies longingly and then go home and scream into a fucking pillow.

Another benefit is inspiration. When I am content I can blog. It centers me. I need a muse and that’s that. Empty posts of dating and dining is shallow and makes me sad and you start to take everything for granted you don’t enjoy the spoils because you’re using them to fill a void a lack of love in your life. Also, my blog post title is clearly a play on Barbie girl, which, I may be as well. It was a joke reference I made earlier this week to a work friend and then I said I will make my next blog post title that. If I have a title it’s all I need to start one up. When I sit down to write I have a general idea of what I will say here but my mind is a crazy circus most often times it’s a mystery to me too what’s gonna come out next.

I took a few days off drinking a couple weeks ago because I did not like who I was becoming and that tiny little change really helped me and then something good happened. I guess it’s true, everything you want is on the other side of fear. I still want sober days and to be better, get healthier so I will.

<3.

Hummingbirds I mean, come on. Swoon.

We kayaked and it was very magical. I’ll be getting a siamese cat tattoo on my back right shoulder next window I get.

If you know what the Hell this is please let me know. He visits a lot. All the bugs that fly at me cos of my hair or whatever startle me and I shriek and then people are like good grief. Okay sorry I can be dramatic but wouldn’t you be if a June bug flew at your mouth and head and then another giant moth and then THIS MOTH too? Okay I will upload the video as evidence and you can decide if it’s worthy of screaming.

I think you know what my vote is.

This coat tho.

This dog tho.

Of course I chose the Dubble Bubble as it’s one of my many nicknames (no it isn’t).

Working across from the Bay will slay (my wallet).

I have a hat thing. If you want to donate toward it I will gladly accept.

On sale for 11 bucks. Get your Canada Day swag in time my fellow Canucks and don’t forget to buy Canadian.

We went hiking + cave exploring in Collingwood and it was beautiful. I’m hyper-active I need to be taken on walks, hikes, drives, dinners, etc etc so this suited me just fine.

Love the digs here we have two floors to play around on.

This is my bestie Marie she did my nails and leant me these pants to bike home in. She is a very supportive gf, positive, and helpful. I am very grateful to have her in my life she is as smart and compassionate as she is beautiful.

I wore bike booty shorts this day and it was freezing cold out I am an idiot sometimes just don’t tell anyone. I look forward to my next chrome nail manicure Marie!

We have matching Unicorn lipsmackers obviously.

What time was this taken at? I know, but do you?

The bruise was just forming here ok ttyl gotta go have an excellent day and weekend to be continued…

Dear blog

How’s it going?

I am full of beans today I feel f*cking fantastic!

I Napoleon Dynamite’d a sample of cold brew coffee this AM on my bike ride to work and I made awesome time to the office. A starbucks employee had a tray with one drink left on it and an egg sammy (hate people who say that but I had to) I go I’ll take that bro! The kid looked all around til he noticed me on my bike with my hand outstretched. He goes okay, comes over, gives me the song and dance about what kind of coffee it is and I chugged it right down thank god it was a cold drink. I went to eat the egg thing but thought better of it (too much chewing) then peddled off. All the cars waiting at the red light I like to think were like GO SISTER YASS. My thighs are getting stronger and I can tackle steep hills uphill without dying as much or jumping off to walk my bike in failure. I still jump curbs and shit like a prick so enjoy the visual if you have time.

I stayed up late-ish last night and miraculously awoke without a hangover. I feel capital Raymazing. You might even think manic but nope, I am just happy. Happiness is a warm gun and I’m gonna shoot mine at everyone.

I have been wearing this jacket a lot. When you have too many clothes and then favour one thing for days out of protest with nobody. With your wardrobe. I defy thee, Fanciful clothes!

I always bring a backup outfit after biking to work but then I keep my sporty look on because it feels like a power look and adds some pep to my step. When I wear my stuffy office clothes I feel like a frump hiding a gross body. If you wear work-out clothes as real clothes you make slightly healthier choices. The system works.

Oh yes it gets stupider looking. Thanks for the pants mom!

We got a hotel so we could go swimming and felt like summer didn’t just blow on by. We spent one hour only in the pool. They got rid of the hot tub at the Sheraton which is fine because the pool is heated. You know what’s hilarious about looking like a degenerate Baywatch lifeguard swimming to-and-fro like an off the clock Bill Murray? Everything.

Heather and I didn’t see each other all summer long. Crazy busy girls. It was nice to reunite!

I stopped to scratch my head here I had to take off my helmet to get to the source of the itch then looked up and noticed this, what would you call it?

Such whimsy.

See I wore it last night too. It’s cosmetic this colour. Now you know my secrets.

A brief scene from Friday. Another one for the books. A book that will be slammed closed tight in a vault sunken to the bottom of the ocean.

It was cold af Friday. This week is nice though. Got my Indian summer after all yo make the best of this week.

Went to the ball game. We lost. It was lit.

Scotch Fridays are legendary ’round here. Starts the weekend off right.

BTS KFC commercial. I asked if I could take a pic of their sandwich later on in the day and they all gawked at me like I was a total idiot. Film industry people are GIANT ASSHOLES. They run on no sleep, shit hours, they are always behind schedule and they’re all gruff grumpy and treat you like dog shit so I purposely asked to take the picture because I knew it would be met with disdain. Right again my friends! Not like a chicken sandwich is giving away trade secrets.

I bring you guys the hard-hitting news that you love.

What can I say? I’m just totally drawn to show business.

When the Canadian Tux comes out it’s fall y’all.

My donair from last week. I try not to eat these too often so much BUT when I do I get a big ego trip like I think the pub is in love with me for being so endearing eating their cultural culinary thing like this came out super fast and the cook always peeks under the pass to see who ordered the donair they must be badass then he sees me and I pretend I didn’t see that I saw but I did. Yes my life is this pathetic that I think about shit like this.

Another bike outfit. I wonder what my rear looks like when I am burning it down the road the skirt flips do they think I am a tennis player? I hope so.

This is my teeny room. I am moving btw. To a bachelor. No roommates. I am a big girl now. I hope I don’t regret it only because of the location it’s where all the crack addicts chill on Queen east. Hoping to befriend them and they are cool to tenants who can just call the po on them right?

This was a night I power walked home literally couldn’t tell you which one.

Another day another brilliant outfit. If you reckon I am trolling the world through fashion you’re right. Countdown to copycats.

A day I used the TTC it doesn’t happen often so I took a picture.

Sushi after my hair appt last week with Donna.

Too bad so blurry I love this ladies room.

It’s fashion week and Tiff at the same time in Toronto. Yorkville is quite the neighbourhood to take that all in of course.

Do you get FOMO or JOMO when you see this?

Hey there sports fans. Feeling my new locks. I vow to get my hair did more frequently.

Because look. Thanks again Donna Dolphy! Check her out if you want expensive and healthy looking hair too.

I want that backpack.

Yes the outfit is thrown together weirdness but you know me idgaf.

Fierce face.

I hoarded these on my phone for a year because I liked how I looked this night. In a past life.

Donna’s crazy glasses.

Thuper blonde signing off this thuper post good day one and all.

omfg I am blogging

Hello mes amis. Whatever ha ha.

It’s hard to blog when you live in the beach. Have wicked ADD. Are busy af. Summer. OMG shiny things. A baby pug. L-i-v-i-n’ and sum such things but here we are now again so I will try to stuff something awesome down your throats. Truth be told I am not a massive narcissist I don’t feel the inclination to scream off a soapbox everyday my goddamn thoughts and espouse my opinions rantily. Blogging was always a powerful thing to me and the more you do it the more you get out of it. It also fatigues you just as much. Behind scenes I am a massive proponent of blogging to everyone surrounding me and I hugely encourage them to show show show! But me I don’t show or write shit as we all very well know lately. I have no reason to be clammed up rn at all I am just busy doing me. I am working on projects. I don’t need a ribbon for all of my things as in I don’t need to status update every time I floss. I don’t crave validation. I do feel bad about not writing as much (at all) and I throw it on the to do list. So here is a bloody blog post then ARRRRR I am 33 years old and going to talk about myself on a blog that I started 16 years ago.

We have been loving it here man. Beach time rules. I am a burnout at heart a born wild child free spirit hippie waste of space dickhead yeah yeah I know who I am. I see me. So the east end is perfect for that. However it is bittersweet every moment I cherish because this is just a sublet til September. I am always stressed out about shit anyway so what else is new what does it matter. Enjoy your life while you live it. It makes you less ugly if you don’t worry. Don’t get me started ugh.

New places and spaces inspire and take over your psyche. I was watching Season 2 of Bloodline on a Netflix bender that is set in the Florida Keys during hot day after hot day happily in front of a fan on the floor out here in the dead end of the east end. It does feel remote out here a little. The beach is incredible, glorious. New restaurants and bars to piss everybody off at yay!

We had the place to ourselves for a couple of weeks too that was fun and boy how June has just flown by. Enjoy every moment. Enjoying every moment. A psycho mantra in my head as I comb the streets the park the boardwalk lol.

No. Am not narcissistic. Just proud of looking pretty sometimes with minimal effort and it was kind of a skinny moment? Don’t worry I got progressively fatter throughout the day. I do things like that now. ENJOYING MYSELF EATING MAYONAISE FRENCH FRIES ciders panzerottis… just sharing facts and wrapping up the details of my life with you.

This phase of my life involves teenage regression. The pizza pockets lifestyle. Making up for many years’ lost time of not being a beach urchin. Now I know why beach bums seem like their brains are always blasted out walking barefoot in dopey hippie looks and dreadlocks. I am romanticizing like 1 person I saw once in Ft Lauderdale fwahah but anyway it’s because you hear the sound of seagulls and instantly melt into nostalgia McDonald’s dipped soft ice cream cones wet bathing suits stringy hair and freckles time slows and things that really mattered incessantly stop mattering. I feel like I have been living on the run for months it has been a long ass winter and the beach is a nice place to settle if you’re a weirdo like me. or like to walk around like a space cadet and you need some time to figure out your life.

Julian gave me this heart button the first time after we hung out. He threw it in my bag along with other trinkets and junk. We are the same like that. We like things and stuff. Creatives. Hyperly creative and excitable. He inspires me to try and be better.

I was sitting down the other day exactly where I am sitting right now. I was about to blog my face off. Then this dingaling turned up. Then he was placed in a nice home yesterday and now I can finally start getting some shit done today lol. There’s another pug puppy here but I am doing better at ignoring him. Keeps trying to friend me and shit but I am not having it so many dogs have gone through my life lately I can no longer handle it emotionally.

We totally bonded *sniffle*.

We had to move this kept knocking it.

Sigh.

Cutest of the litter in my opinion and I did not know personalities could differ so much or even be a thing so soon. I really loved this little guy lets never talk about it again.

This is my favourite house in the day. One of. I never saw it at night before. Astounding.

Always art jamming it whever the mood strikes too. Going to paint starry night mural out back.

I’ve taken over social for Happy Juice Co. That stuff is gold mang.

Taking Brass Vixens classes as my schedule allows it’s great fun. Excited for a twerk class next!

We went to see Kiefer Sutherland at The Horseshoe last Monday. Took my Mom. Went to the after party. Ordered drinks on his tab. Killer night lol I say no more.

My mom got a lot of rad shots and managed to get up dead center I knew she would. I did NOT like the audience they were horrifically rude and snappy some people very protective of their personal space my mom got bullied too. I forget that as a couple you operate as a unit. You are simply, two people. So when you’re alone it’s easier to deek through the crowd alone. Harder as two. I cannot deal with rude jerks which is what we had to do and made it halfway through the crowd before a woman blocked us from going further meanwhile a guy is screaming in Julian’s face and that is when I LOST IT. It was hot af too. Just way too much after a long day at the beach with my mom.

Another one for the books as usual.

We all had our moment with him too.

Kiefer liked my mom more than me. I am fine with that.

I took the country band thing seriously and wore plaid. I should have dressed like a slonky. My bad. SO I didn’t even try to butter him up I was like hey. Bahah. We got him shots of whiskey which he didn’t drink so we drank them. Maybe he was scared of us. I literally don’t care.

Played some gigantic birdies badminton the morning after.

We got better as we played.

:).

Kinda feel like playing now.

Rebecca came by with Bowie for a night that was a great time! I have many more pics to share later on everyone is talking to me in the kitchen right now it’s hard to focus.

We went to Le Baratin for dinner last week. Divine! Going on a diet tomorrow for frig sakes.

Oh lord yum yums.

I like fancying up sometimes.

I made a throwback collage.

Alright ttyl dinner time I’ll save Donna Dolphy’s post for next one xo.

blog dj

Hey pals. Look I selfie stick now it’s the latest new thing. A girl I know dropped her Iphone while on top of a volcano on her destination wedding trip recently and I think about that each time I use it. Yikes.

This blog post is going to be about THE LAST FEW WEEKS OF MY LIFE.

Woah that sounds dark *knocks on wood*. THE LAST FEW WEEKS OF MY LIFE. SHIT I DONE THE LAST FEW WEEKS. Good and good lets look.

Love this ring. It’s Medeival kinda and well made. Do you know the kind of stone it is? We went to a church sale. Got a good deal on my finds I did. Julian has the other ring I got it’s too big afterall. The pair compliment each other.

I have her email I must write to her before I lose the card.

We had dinner at a nice place in an undisclosed location. Post bday hangover thing. I dressed like a lion tamer four year old.

I have no idea how to caption this @julianbachlow

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

My caesar baby.

Dinner times!

SO good. Heavenly.

Don’t be a champagne snob it was perfs.

His.

Butter chicken. Next time I would just order this so I can eat it all in one sitting. Date night is great night. As long as you restrict in between WHICH I haven’t at all except for when in the city. Whatevs just enjoy life.

We bought that ball when we went on an art supply bender at Michaels. Which reminds me of a piece I need to write about them. Note to self for later.

Julian’s 30th BDay party. We are the party. Brett came by too. It stormed crazy all night long and the lights would go out it was exhilarating a bit.

Ah derps. Earlier that day we went to the Mandarin and had a walk which Julian’s Dad recorded of all of us in High DEF 3D and we watched it the other day it’s hysterical af I can’t even begin to describe it LOL.

Dirty 30 @julianbachlow wet chair mandarin buffet and new friends.

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

Fellow early bird Mandarin diners like us too. They are like 90 years old a piece (about). Merv stopped us for a chat on our way out adorb and pervy. Merv the perv ftw! Gord, Merv and John. When you are zany in love your energy spreads like wildfire. They asked who’s bday it was and I said Julian’s, he’s 30. They gab for a bit and then I go and I am 33 all proud af and that gave Merv the thrill of a lifetime. He repeated it many times afterward, “you’re 33. So, you’re thirty threeee eh.”

New show #SUPERMODEL MARKET @julianbachlow @raymitheminx pose-off Aisle 5.

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

Our other bestie is the girl at the supermarket and we show her what we plan to eat that night and the wine to go with it or caesars. She must be bored out of her mind and we’re the perfect storm for that. She’s like how were your puffs last night I am like oh we destroyed them you know it! Totally this close to asking her to hang out but will leave the two worlds separated probably for the best.

We went to a stag n doe one night in the pouring rain and predictably got obliterated and later on my purse was attacked by a spraypaint stenciling monster. It looks like something from a Destiny’s Child music video. In case you are wondering that means it is tacky oh well what me worry. I hate this purse to be honest it’s so small I have to carry my phone alongside it if I want it to close if I have too many other things in there. Like I have to choose between what is really necessary to take with and I am a hoarder so therfore this teeny purse blows. Will be good for a cocktail gala I will never be invited to plus it’s no longer black so fail fail fail like a whale.

I am pretty sure I will survive.

That is some 30th Birthday look eh. He still gets carded for smokes. And still smokes.

Enjoyed this windy walk my dress flew all over the place and I was sweltering like a mennonite in my black tights. I am so pale right now if it wasn’t a family walk I would have removed stockings.

Road cheese emergency. Almost as good as road head. Wait a minute. Tons better than muahaha.

I love this set-up.

lul.

I got Kanye dissed. I prevailed with this treasure for you.

We have been hotel life for a bit here and there. “It is neat”.

<3.

Shrug.

I also went golfing. There will be a whole Rayme Toronto post on that. I smashed those balls brah I am good at golf and athletic, competitive. Give me a thing and I will do it.

It was nice to see another lifer too, a blog diva such as myself wedding girl .ca I think? Don’t worry like I said full post later on just relax okay.

Then I was feeling myself. Generally I am self conscious of my looks and feeling fugly, like a scruff. When I am on fleek I celebrate that so just shoosh ya haters.

I wasn’t done yet though.

Some more highlights.

FO’ SALE. The wolf looks like this now:

Wolfy watches you. Make an offer I cannot refuse #starvingartist.

Aerial fitness class taught by Shannon yesterday on Yonge. Loved it.

My uniform. Reject shirt the shoes are wrong LOL!

I’ve got one left of these numbers, this one no longer looks like this as I added layers of gold and whatever to it who even knows.

There we go the one on the right is avail. The middle is for my bro’s daughter who will be due in…June? The one on the left is going to Nawlins. I have a lot of paintings to ship actually. Do whatever you can on the side to make money am I right am I right? I am right.

The weather was great this day. There is just something about sun. Well. A lot of things but you know what I mean. IT IS MAGIC FROM THE SKY.

I am so Justin Bieber. Don’t hate me cos ya ain’t me.

(I will never say that term again here promies). OMG promies is my new thing now though. I am so Raymazing. I mean. Grateful for my mind. Sometimes it works against me and sometimes it is fine.

Buttons and teddy bears for the baby girl I should have gotten a bow stencil. Stenciling is fun. I killed the can of pink spraypaint.

I am cool. This place is awesome actually.

Guess who is a hypocrite secretly drinking boxed water like a douchebag for weeks meow ha ha!

These guys. Will be chillin in BTown this long weekend. Should be purty tight. AND the Hammer!

Here I am looking juicy picking up my glasses then Julian wanted a pair.

The power was going out one night so then we were forced to all talk to each other once my laptop died and our wine dance party was over LOL and I learned some truly interesting things. There is always wildlife and creatures roaming the property and howling winds it gets spooky.

Lana had an art show at Paletta mansion I finally got to see the inside of it. I have spent a lot of times on the grounds in the park generally loitering and just mooning about in the flowers and forest. I know the history it’s kinda Gatsby-esque in an extremely Ontario/Hamilton steel fires burning across the water fashion.

Just you know, more of my giftedness.

I ate one. I had to could not resist and I have zero shame. The middle had something in it I forget. Delicious though.

Another lovely day spent on Queen west.

I should not have looked at this.

Love embedding tweets what a time saver. I uploaded all of these for the most part to flickr anyway. This catched the sun and burns birght gold and looks totally normal girly cute not-intense when not lit up.

FEEL SELF SHOW SELF.

Julian collects lot sof weird masks accessories and disguises like me.

Catching the last bit of sun. It has been a long winter.

Stagg chili philly cream cheese layered dip I added mushrooms and green onions too. Seen seen. Steph’s superbowl chili recipe. You throw the tin away when done.

I have gained weight but am quickly getting back in shape again so it doesn’t really matter now does it. I am a foodie it is what I do!

We showed up to Ukranian Easter at his relatives with my hair like this and Julian’s Dad was all oh my god get that shit out of your hair what!??! HAhaha. That means he liked it.

I tried blood sausage. Omg whyyy???? It tastes like it sounds and looks.

The moment my pizza got smushed at that wrestling party at Super Wonder Gallery I have a lot of crap to catch up on.

Absolutely hilarious though. We partied with all the wrestler actors backstage afterward.

I just love to win.

A video posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

I am a ham.

Girl trying to get the most attention at the art show #outfit.

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

My outfit.

OMG there is me LOL. This was the most hilarious night ever I did not stop laughing for 3 hours straight. I will write about it later I promies.

PROFESSIONAL was his name and people were just arbitrarily yelling it out. I could not stop laughing at all.

This past Monday.

Next level.

I went for wings dressed like that. FABULOUS.

Buy this giant lampshadelier!

In real life you need to see it to take in the awesome of its grandness. It is sister to a bunch like it in a Mexican resto in the Distillery District. Make an offer!

Dying to know what happened here.

New twerk pants thank you Shannon.

Before Aerial class yesterday we did Ass Kick. I am loving these Brass Vixens classes big time. It’s a lifestyle, social club and good routine to get into. Not to mention fun. There are three BrassVixens locations in Toronto and one in Mississauga.

It’s a zen-like space in there. Good to shut the world out in.

Once I get pics of each class I take I can finally do the full classes. I am OCD plus abide by my own Raymism motto. PEOPLE DON’T KNOW IF YOU DON’T SHOW. There are a lot of life moments I use to cover each bit of incessantly and there’s just so much life that I live these days I cannot even begin to capture it all. I still have the urge and I still make the effort but just lesser and, it irks me. #blogshame.

Lunch reward is gangster. I am happy to be bonding with my buddy Shannon lately. It’s fun to make plans together. I am one of those needs things to look forward to types. I think many people are.

Model practise @sarasaraduke dress to be seen out in an apple orchard very soon.

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

Aaaaand my new dress I finally tried on and we are done here for now folks thank the blog and goodnight!

l’enfant terrible

Bonjour everyone who sort of gives a shit. Today’s blog post will include many images I have clogged up my phone with the intention of one day blogging. My phone is now dead asf but as fate would have it I emailed myself a flood the day prior so I at least have these. I am not exactly depressed about all the other stuff I’ve lost from the device, it can be freeing, but moreso I’m depressed about losing my contacts (headache) and being unable to connect with my loved ones and all of my friends. A phone is more than a phone, end of story.

It was fine Sunday night, but when I woke up yesterday it was sending me the same text message in a loop all day then it would turn off every 5 seconds before I could say hi to anyone or thing on that thing. Enraging AF. In a couple of days a replacement phone will arrive but I had to do a lot to make that happen and doing a lot is not one of my favourite past times. Someone also played a cruel trick on me during this ordeal which made my layers of rage and hell out of this world. When it Raymes it pours, bruv and no I will not look back on this experience one day and laugh about it. I will be equally as pissed then as I am now.

I remember this outfit garnering a lot of looks on my journey through the streets. Sometimes when you put together an outfit that hyper-works you feel like a caricature. Wait til you see what I wear tonight at Swan Dive!

Spent a week in July in PEI. Was awesome. Ate so much fresh lobster and drank great wine. As a Canadian, I feel it is a duty to visit as many provinces as possible in your lifetime and maybe save the boring ones for last. Everytime I hashtag #PEI on twitter it automatically gets retweeted by some Prince Edward Island bot account, love it.

If you’re a Raymi superfan then you’ll know this image isn’t redundant exactly. The other one I posted over the summer is of me jumping in the air like an idiot. We were hung asf then checked-out and drove to the coast. Over the course of our one night in Charlottetown, we hit every hipster bar there was and found all the things I needed to find. Reminded me of a night in Ottawa, it’s not a huge city so you can make your moves to see all the right spots in a night. You can’t do that in Toronto unless you have a time machine.

The post I had in the pan for a night at The Spoke Club is kaput now as I have lost all those images except for this. It’s hard to be organized as someone in the creative sector when I am the only employee I have. My job is at night, these events, so when I’m recovering the next day there is no one to get on board and just do it for me. When I was younger I was able to get out many blog posts in a day. My life is fuller now I think is why, I do “too much” and am satiated for the most part so I don’t see the need to blog it right away desperately so. I should be though because when I do, traffic goes up, more clients, etc etc etc.

So many awesome things happen from this blog and when they do they are great motivators to keep doing it. It was a trip to meet Ollya and her husband was just like what is going on here I was like, I am her hero I know you can’t tell by looking at me sorry hahah. She was posing with me in a line-up of chicks and I asked my friend, who is she to remind me how I knew her because I didn’t want to look rude and he (mistakenly) said we met her on Halloween. Wrong. She has read my blog for ten years, knows peers of mine and when we started turning up in each other’s pictures she was like you know Raymi?? She didn’t know I’d be turning up to Shanny’s party last Thursday. AND. All these other women were majorly nice to me and praising it really lifted me up. I really fucking hate mean girls so, when everyone gets along it’s like a high. Meeting people who love my blog and hearing it has gotten them through some rough times makes me go FUCK YEAH.

This summer I didn’t beach as much as I’d have liked to. There were hot girls in bikinis all around us hating the fact we were taking pictures. Oh get over it this isn’t about you.

On way to a lunch meeting I’m checking out if my disaster of a hangover is noticeable LOL. My boobs look big here cos I’m wearing a bikini top, no magic to it actually.

Don’t think I ever posted this. Forget where I wore this ding dong outfit probably just to metro. Sometimes it takes time and space to be comfortable posting the silly pics I take.

What a day this was. I’m bummed to lose the loads of pics on my phone I never got around to blogging. Boat owner was at party other night and I am invited back on the boat if I bring girls in bikinis with me. Guys and their jib bunnies..I don’t write the rules I just play by ‘em. I always seem to have leg bruises. I am tall and my thighs graze the bed frame here or a counter, table. Tall girl problems.

Managed to save this. It was a paid shoot but I didn’t receive nearly enough of the photos we took together which makes me curious as all hell. Let me know if you find them floating around on some overseas pr0n site jeez.

Nip shot! From same day as shoot. I get as slender as I can but different lingerie pieces can make your body look blobbier. Meh.

Me and all my friends. ha. Actually four girls were watching and heckling me so I party-monstered them into feeling really bad about themselves for bullying me and then we all posed together and became party besties. Wonder if they still read my blog ahah.

My first time in Detroit. Ahh, Detroit. Where to begin lol.

As crazy as 2015 was all around, and by cray I mean amazing. It has been eye-opening as an artist. It’s not hard to just DO THINGS. Have an idea, then fucking do it. Then do it again and better. What does this all mean? It’s got to mean something. I’m a special breed and some people discovered me, shon a bit of light on me. Don’t ever listen to your haters. They hate you cos they ain’t you. It’s such a waste of time and unhealthy. They mean nothing to me. Look at my enriched life don’t I look busy being a ding dong? Happily so.

I get to see this all the time. It’s like my power wall. Good memories. Even when it’s overcast the paint is bright blue and glowing. Detroit has it going on again. You’ve seen these before but for some reason I sent them to myself for this post so enjoy them again!

TIFF party.

Another film fest party. This summer was bananaanannaas. We dashed out to the car at one point and on this adorb street I jumped into this walkway for a photo.

Hmm gauging by this pose and face I am probs about 70% licked by this point. When we bounced from the party we drove to the country in the night and I was wrapped in a blanket containment bundle in the front seat because I did not want to do this trip just before going to Detroit but we did it anyway.

For some reason there was a Bill Cosby one up on the wall too.

I got about 3 glasses of champagne out of that chick.

Hello.

My hair looks like a total wig here. This was an excellent night.

Shorts weather. Sigh.

My wardrobe for a tv series I am in that will be airing this month. I have a lot of scenes and I snort (pretend) drugs. Can’t wait.

That’s all for now. Come see me at Swan Dive tonight 1631 Dundas St I’ll be there 9-FOREVER xoxo.

How much is that blogger in the window

Vasko is a genius.

Look look!

I’m a Sexpert. Dr. Raymi Love. First the NYT (thrice, natch) and now Elle. Next week PLAYBOY. #hustla.

Nice piece Bobby! I’ve been harassing him since May about this one lol. Here’s what it was in full, which I guess I can post because 1. I wrote it and 2. It’s already in print. Kay here we go. I have zero recollection of what you are about to read, yay mystery post! I’m so Hunter S. right meow, no, the rum diary guy whatever guy that was. BURP.

Is confidence key (for men) in a club-like setting?

Yes definitely but not over-bravado, which can easily be mistook for THAT GUY IS SO A PLAYER. But in a club-like setting it doesn’t matter cos you can’t hear what is even going on cos you’re usually wasted or on drugs or probably both (this is coming from a party girl standpoint) so therefore the over-enthusiasm and attention is fully appreciated if the guy isn’t a letch, euro trash sleazy letchy and dry humping your leg. But at a place I’d go to with my classy (then get silly) girls, a place after work hours in the financial district where everyone is dripping with confidence, you must go the distance, cock-block, and buy her and her girls a round of drinks then you can chat them up for a good half hour and see if there is a spark. If you don’t have confidence, you can hide behind online dating and fake it til you make it.

Is there any way for a guy to “score” without being aggressive at a club/bar atmosphere?

Be devastatingly handsome and practise your best smouldering Clive Owen smouldering, brooding looks, stare puzzlingly into your glass, ignore everyone and wait for the prey to come to you. Wait til last call til the married lying bastards clear out and head home on the train. Wear an awesome outfit, have good style, avoid Trailer Park Boys, be GQ. What males in cinema are you drawn to or emulate, be them, but be yourself.

Do you feel obligated to chat with a guy after he’s bought you a drink?

If I didn’t want anything to do with him then I wouldn’t have accepted his offer, I’m not desperate and I have my own money but that’s not to say I haven’t taken advantage of these drunk perverts so you have to have your wits about you to know if you are being taken advantage of. What are you looking for, love or a bone? Women have motives too. Some guys buy you drinks and forgot they did, disappear, it’s bizarre, so we don’t get a chance to feel bought or obligated. The bar/club scene is a wild place. Some mammals buy you drinks, some don’t.

Will you dance (or entertain) somebody you haven’t talked to just because he’s approached you on the dance floor?

Yup. Life is short and I have come out of my shell unlike the shy girl I used to be despite the image of confidence I project. My mother is also very shy, but we are cute, I draw them in and she goes in for the kill like a tag team. Your buddies are your support system too, the more the merrier in a dating crew even mixing the sexes. I let the guy on the dancefloor know when enough is enough though that’s for sure. It can get awkward. Also, if I see a dude in a bar I like there is nothing stopping me from approaching him if I am feeling up to it. But I’m a girl’s girl, if there’s another bird with her talons in him I won’t bother.

Is it common in modern society for women to approach men in a bar setting? If that’s the case, do you (personally) use a more aggressive, or laid-back approach?

Depends on the talent of the room. There’s moments where you lock eyes and everyone else in the room goes away and it doesn’t matter how many trolls chairs or obstacles are in your path, you meet on the same playing level and then see if there’s a spark. I’ve been both laidback and aggressive. I think women are super aggressive these days than they used to be and yes it’s common, for alpha chicks, we are all getting hotter and preening and self pampering, there’s more women on the planet and not enough men to go around so tell all your loser single friends to man up already, we’re waiting now catch up.

(ps. I wrote all of this before I met Steve).

Well? TGI-EFF. Gotta scoot. xo your hero.