elaborate stupid things

Adding the title of this blog post to the resume of my life as I have dedicated much of it to exactly that and I am still standing bruh. Now here’s some things from said life. Hold on tight y’allready made it through the cold open. Don’t get me started on comedy. Every sentence that comes out of my mouth is either a punchline or preamble to something (I find) hilarious. I am getting better. The key is to remember your material.

Mom stayed with us for a week and we all survived. Hey man I ain’t saying I am innocent either just saying is all. This is from Canada Day. We went to Woodbine beach after for the free concert and shenanigans in the beer garden with our roommate plus mom oh it was a time. Living in the beaches is ridonkulous. I will look back on this summer and cry whistfully into the wind. As much as I dig moving forward if I look back at all the amazing shit I have done in my life too much stacked together without enjoying those moments. When I look at skyporn cloud pictures from kew beach over winter I will explode. I will just explode.

Sushi/sashimi the other night. They forgot a roll we were like yes we want it. We ordered pizza later on at night cos we were still fung lol.

Canada Day. What’s in the baaaaag man.

Did your head explode? Good. This is Fella. We are bonding now. The little fart has my heart.

Taking him to the vet was a trip. A sweaty, eating my hair while my shorts were falling down and walking in the wrong direction of where the vet is -trip.

My face has been breaking out because I am aging backward in time. You have to have popeye’s at least once in your lifetime right. With gravy and biscuits, dirty rice and macaroni ahh gad the shame the delicious shame.

Starting the ol diet off with a bang. No more deep fried foods diet lol.

We walk as much as I try and force us to. We are living in paradise FOMO BRO. Thank God we don’t Pokemon Go. Not to be a hater but we have enough things in our life.

This guy had this house built on kew gardens property for his homegirl when they got married to keep her close and happy. Lucky chick. I read the plaque while drunken lawnbowler preps sauntered by me, rejected from the steamwhistle short bus (it was full). Could tell they were embarrassed because it happened right in front of me. One calls out, “claaaaassic” both in ivy league sweaters tied around their shoulders. I fucking love the beach for reasons exactly like this. So I sped up to walk ahead and let them bro it out alone up to Queen and a patio to continue getting blasticated but then they caught up to me reading this plaque. I must have read that plaque 4 times before I was able to retain any of the information written on it. Then another prep threesome walked by I could feel their eyes all over me. So much awkward loud silence like, I should have been HEY LEMME READ THIS TO Y’ALL AS YOU WALK UP THE STREET NOW. My problem is I size people up too quickly and then, I hate them. I had seen the gf ignoring the bf while on her phone and snapchatting her drunken mother riding around in circles on their bicycle. The bf had seen me note ALL of this. So in my head we had this, again, awkward knowing secret together. I bumped into them one more time as they headed into a bar when I noticed they were all wearing identical khaki pants and white buttoned shirts. Themewear for the lawn bowling club’s rager. Aren’t you glad I share things?

I really do love it here. It’s calm. Fabulously. I read alone on the beach. Not for long. I am too hyper and ADD but the whole process of packing a backpack, hitting some shops then reading til it’s dark while I get eaten to death by mosquitos forces me to slow down. It clears my head. I get lonely but I like it. To a point.

Julian Bachlow has been getting a lot of acting gigs lately it’s impressive. Some days are long shoots so we don’t see each other as much. Gives me time to reflect and to miss him.

Love this little nook we happened upon one day. It changes too. New things appear or leave.

Very The Friendly Giant.

Went to Fat Bastard burrito Saturday night. Everywhere we go it’s like performance art lol.

I know why it’s called fat bastard burrito though. Get a small. It’s gigantic. I ate it again on Sunday.

I had the butter chicken. Phenom. With noodles. It blew my mind.

Before we hit the road selfie.

Feeling this Beck jam big rn btw.

What should we call our variety show?

We watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High the other night. It is still amazebaaaalls. Sorry to bring amazeballs back. It’s crazy the cameos in it.

Super beached out af like it’s raining desperate.

My nails are naked rn about to paint them after this post or keep them natch. We will see.

What happened in Nice today…I feel like a dick writing this post. I began this post earlier then we went out in our “super ultra safe neighbourhood” and came home to the news. I kept running out to the porch to tell everyone because I am a disaster junky like that but also I have been desperate to write a blog post for days and keep getting sidetracked and this is like putting my foot down I AM DOING THIS and I am writing this fuck sake. It just feels like it’s raining bad shit all around us so I like to appreciate what I have and those I love. Cut the shit and get on with it.

I made him this bacon bagel sandwich with lettuce from the garden and tomato. It was out of control excellent.

Little pug pug made it to the big times. Everyone died when they saw him at the vet now I know why dog people like being dog people because they get to feel like the popular girl ALL the time it was like Jesus ENOUGH jk we love it I have stories of dog beach adventures man let me tell you life is good sometimes.

Have to get into my fancier gear once in awhile to remember that I still do that sometimes.

Someone is babysitting him for a few days this picture just tore my heart to shreds.

If this bridge could talk. Took Julian on a tour of my old hood. It feels like you know my life because everything that has ever happened to me in this park comes flooding back.. but how could you know. Anyway it was a trip. It was like I was just there yesterday. We off-roaded it into the jungle and my legs are all scratched up for it. Julian loved it… mom not so much. It has overgrown a lot in a decade and then some haha.

It was a tour of Lauren. I brought them to a cemetery in Streetsville. A friend of mine is buried here. We made friends with this cat who fell in love with us and followed us out of the cemetery and then my heart broke some more. I had a doctor’s appt in ‘sauga is why we were all there togeths.

I can’t wait to find my belt.

I can tell you a lot of stories about the Credit River. Involving me and/or others, the police, bush parties, fires, river walking, setting shit on fire, sneaking out at night. Forest sex. Crazy bananas things. What is this our Texas? Well, for a time maybe so, maybe so.

Falconer Drive is totes diffskies now. Shit of legend. Curfews at night lol.

Kay back to Toronto now. La la land. I see things you would not believe there is even a beaches mascot now, a dog, a guy in a dog mascot costume. Brilliant.

And this!

Losing steam here now people. Yeah it’s snack time.

All about dat neon tho.

I made a new friend one afternoon. We laughed and shared the best stories, totally vibed and took each other on a social adventure I could feel Don’s happiness as he told me about his grandmother, who championed him when he smiled on the inside and outside as he spoke. He blew my mind with some real talk perhaps too controversial for my blog but when he left he said he really enjoyed talking to me. I wished Julian was there to meet him.

Hahah what’s with all the emo pictures I will try to switch it up guys swear.

Your life is a piece of work and yes it’s work but it’s a piece of artwork so design it how you like share it how you want tell it how you feel make it magic make it real.

If you venture into this dog park you can pretend you are on another planet if you wanted to a little Jurrasic park here and The Martian there, nah bruh?

I watched the storm roll in wondering if it was a storm. Rolling in. Baha. Then I ran home in the lightning scared out of my mind. Lightning storms um nope. All the rain storms lately are cool it’s SO HOT the planet is like “time to explode into rain mawfuck burst inna rain son!”

I look like a bohemian slob most days so the one or two days I make effort I do the selfie thing so these are my faux apologies.

Sleeping on our new mattress on the floor has been FUN/NY. Okay I will tell ONE embarrassing story. Not really embarrassing at all but like, we were drunkies after sushi and needed more food so ordered pizza but we were rolling around on this frigging thing and like basically already on the floor..and drunk with the giggles. We laugh at our bullshit a lot at least. Wow cool story, nice and short.

Beginning of the mural. Maybe I will tackle it tomorrow.

Doing starry night has made me keen on researching Van Gogh. Quite the guy.

Oh look. MORE pictures of me. LOL.

Tash and I hit up Brass Vixens last week as well. Going for another class real soon. Love it.

Went to the Drive-in. A summer bucket list must! okay guys time to irl so ttyl xo rlw!

Ps. enjoy our soulful rap hook btw!

omfg I am blogging

Hello mes amis. Whatever ha ha.

It’s hard to blog when you live in the beach. Have wicked ADD. Are busy af. Summer. OMG shiny things. A baby pug. L-i-v-i-n’ and sum such things but here we are now again so I will try to stuff something awesome down your throats. Truth be told I am not a massive narcissist I don’t feel the inclination to scream off a soapbox everyday my goddamn thoughts and espouse my opinions rantily. Blogging was always a powerful thing to me and the more you do it the more you get out of it. It also fatigues you just as much. Behind scenes I am a massive proponent of blogging to everyone surrounding me and I hugely encourage them to show show show! But me I don’t show or write shit as we all very well know lately. I have no reason to be clammed up rn at all I am just busy doing me. I am working on projects. I don’t need a ribbon for all of my things as in I don’t need to status update every time I floss. I don’t crave validation. I do feel bad about not writing as much (at all) and I throw it on the to do list. So here is a bloody blog post then ARRRRR I am 33 years old and going to talk about myself on a blog that I started 16 years ago.

We have been loving it here man. Beach time rules. I am a burnout at heart a born wild child free spirit hippie waste of space dickhead yeah yeah I know who I am. I see me. So the east end is perfect for that. However it is bittersweet every moment I cherish because this is just a sublet til September. I am always stressed out about shit anyway so what else is new what does it matter. Enjoy your life while you live it. It makes you less ugly if you don’t worry. Don’t get me started ugh.

New places and spaces inspire and take over your psyche. I was watching Season 2 of Bloodline on a Netflix bender that is set in the Florida Keys during hot day after hot day happily in front of a fan on the floor out here in the dead end of the east end. It does feel remote out here a little. The beach is incredible, glorious. New restaurants and bars to piss everybody off at yay!

We had the place to ourselves for a couple of weeks too that was fun and boy how June has just flown by. Enjoy every moment. Enjoying every moment. A psycho mantra in my head as I comb the streets the park the boardwalk lol.

No. Am not narcissistic. Just proud of looking pretty sometimes with minimal effort and it was kind of a skinny moment? Don’t worry I got progressively fatter throughout the day. I do things like that now. ENJOYING MYSELF EATING MAYONAISE FRENCH FRIES ciders panzerottis… just sharing facts and wrapping up the details of my life with you.

This phase of my life involves teenage regression. The pizza pockets lifestyle. Making up for many years’ lost time of not being a beach urchin. Now I know why beach bums seem like their brains are always blasted out walking barefoot in dopey hippie looks and dreadlocks. I am romanticizing like 1 person I saw once in Ft Lauderdale fwahah but anyway it’s because you hear the sound of seagulls and instantly melt into nostalgia McDonald’s dipped soft ice cream cones wet bathing suits stringy hair and freckles time slows and things that really mattered incessantly stop mattering. I feel like I have been living on the run for months it has been a long ass winter and the beach is a nice place to settle if you’re a weirdo like me. or like to walk around like a space cadet and you need some time to figure out your life.

Julian gave me this heart button the first time after we hung out. He threw it in my bag along with other trinkets and junk. We are the same like that. We like things and stuff. Creatives. Hyperly creative and excitable. He inspires me to try and be better.

I was sitting down the other day exactly where I am sitting right now. I was about to blog my face off. Then this dingaling turned up. Then he was placed in a nice home yesterday and now I can finally start getting some shit done today lol. There’s another pug puppy here but I am doing better at ignoring him. Keeps trying to friend me and shit but I am not having it so many dogs have gone through my life lately I can no longer handle it emotionally.

We totally bonded *sniffle*.

We had to move this kept knocking it.

Sigh.

Cutest of the litter in my opinion and I did not know personalities could differ so much or even be a thing so soon. I really loved this little guy lets never talk about it again.

This is my favourite house in the day. One of. I never saw it at night before. Astounding.

Always art jamming it whever the mood strikes too. Going to paint starry night mural out back.

I’ve taken over social for Happy Juice Co. That stuff is gold mang.

Taking Brass Vixens classes as my schedule allows it’s great fun. Excited for a twerk class next!

We went to see Kiefer Sutherland at The Horseshoe last Monday. Took my Mom. Went to the after party. Ordered drinks on his tab. Killer night lol I say no more.

My mom got a lot of rad shots and managed to get up dead center I knew she would. I did NOT like the audience they were horrifically rude and snappy some people very protective of their personal space my mom got bullied too. I forget that as a couple you operate as a unit. You are simply, two people. So when you’re alone it’s easier to deek through the crowd alone. Harder as two. I cannot deal with rude jerks which is what we had to do and made it halfway through the crowd before a woman blocked us from going further meanwhile a guy is screaming in Julian’s face and that is when I LOST IT. It was hot af too. Just way too much after a long day at the beach with my mom.

Another one for the books as usual.

We all had our moment with him too.

Kiefer liked my mom more than me. I am fine with that.

I took the country band thing seriously and wore plaid. I should have dressed like a slonky. My bad. SO I didn’t even try to butter him up I was like hey. Bahah. We got him shots of whiskey which he didn’t drink so we drank them. Maybe he was scared of us. I literally don’t care.

Played some gigantic birdies badminton the morning after.

We got better as we played.

:).

Kinda feel like playing now.

Rebecca came by with Bowie for a night that was a great time! I have many more pics to share later on everyone is talking to me in the kitchen right now it’s hard to focus.

We went to Le Baratin for dinner last week. Divine! Going on a diet tomorrow for frig sakes.

Oh lord yum yums.

I like fancying up sometimes.

I made a throwback collage.

Alright ttyl dinner time I’ll save Donna Dolphy’s post for next one xo.