tropical brainstorm

Hi! If you’re going to learn anything from this post I’ll just put it at the top right here right now and it is that sweet lavender nailpolish works.

If you want to be a dirtbag princess like me you can get it at walmart right now for like, 2.97 and in the states it’s probably like 4 cents.

Sorry for such a typical cold open like that. Sorry for saying sorry when I’m not sorry. This is what I am listening to right now fyi.

Beautiful. Listen to this entire song it gets soooo dreamy.

I had an Unagi accident. I was eating out the inside of an unagi roll because I am not eating carbs right now and it all cascaded onto my booth seat, bounced off then onto the floor. I at least got the majority of the unagi, it was just the teeny matchstick cucumber pieces and I found it to be hilarious!!! We were celebrating last night so I had some dranks. I’ve been being VERY GOOD with my diet and exercise so I felt cool to just let loose one more time before it’s officially an entire month of severe restrictions and no cheating with candy or giggle water. All these defensive waste of time explanations when I could just be writing funny fucking stuff instead fine then I will life is short, the time is now. Cue this song!

I don’t know about you but I am inspired a fact’s a fact!

He had this I did not because I am the shit!

I may not have blond hair anymore but my hands can still scream Barbie. The thumb nail of this hand is the only long nail that survived my week of black nailpolish and working for the man with my hands. All that cold air and not wearing gloves dried my hands out. I am going for a tan today because my makeup is darker than my body now and I am sick of being made fun of it from my frigface bf haha plus I like playing with God (tanning booths) and looking like a tanned Cheetah woman, Cameron Diaz in the Counselor. Vain people like to tan that’s just the way it is. My nana is 82 and still dyes her hair and does her makeup, so there you go beauty product customer for life.

See? Ew winter. I look like an extra in a war film eastern Europe anywhere. I have a really big mouth today.

I did this one especially for you guys because this is my level of caring/fucks to give. I kind of give some fucks because I actually thought of you guys outside of blogging IRL with intention to make you laugh/ridicule me. I feel like there should be a study, ode, essay, what have you to those who rock the unsexy black sock. Right? Like it should be a sketch. I don’t know there’s just something there, that’s all. Oh and my underwear says live for the night, which is also funny for some reason because club skanks were in mind when they made it most likely not serious guys like me no sirree!

Car wash. The wait was non-existent so I allowed for this to occur. Yes. Allowed. I am a princess, admittedly. Though after being on the road for 3 days straight I kind of had enough. Think about it, you have to pee, you are already breaking your diet and mowing down on candy so close to getting home and then someone has a car wash brainstorm. Cool thanks yeah lets spend more time in the car in fact, sure! We totally drove each other mental thank god for leading independent lives am I right people hahaha.

Oh yeah it’s TBT. I am 26 here at a choose your own adventure life juncture, I don’t know how many people have that occur to them where they choose to keep building something or abandon ship. Anyway I am fine with it. Having photos of my entire life detailing it is pretty crazy though and thanks to this Throwback thing I can continue looking back and bumping around from period to period.

Pesonally it’s powerful because there are so many things I could say.

There are a lot of differences in me now than who I was then. Take Walmart for instance. I go there now. Yeah they’re evil and gross but I don’t see the need to take a giant fucking stand against it if someone goes. A lot of hipsters secretly go to Walmart in Toronto. It’s OK but yeah, talk about 180 there eh I have completely changed as an individual alright.

It starts off innocently with sashimi, “healthy” fish but then degenerates into so many courses of meat. All you can eat can’t be beat.

Curry shrimp is a must order.

The girl tried to tell me the small sake was 18.95 and I didn’t want to bully her and say that’s not possible. She did not speak English. So I ordered that stupid kamikaze. She came back and said she was wrong and the sake was 4 bucks, I was like NO REALLY!?!?! (jk I was chill) so we shared some. That is the end of the story.

I may patronize Walmart but it doesn’t mean I am going to behave there. Once, we saw a goddamn turd on the ground at walmart ugh, some of society’s dregs end up there and crap on the floor nice!

My eggs are almost ready I am going to have to pause this exceptional post v soon. I like them soft, if they wait too long it’s a nightmare.

Yesterday’s face.

Yesterday’s definition and tomorrow I’ll post the full size shots of these because I am too lazy to bother uploading more to flickr at the moment.

Dinner from the night before.

Fun times.

Custom Raymi stairs are pretty swell.

Jails are scary.

Girl life tip. If for whatever reason you can’t or don’t do pretty one day, do tomboy instead.

Chippawa! I’ve seen Chippawa appear in my stats before and now I know what it looks like. There’s going to be another blog post almost exactly like this one coming up next I just selected a bunch oh phone shots to use. I don’t know why blogging seems to take a lot longer than it used to for me. You get slower as you age. More interruptions.

I am kinda over pho. I love it buuuuut. Is it not just a big bowl of sodium?

I find that food restriction makes me super food obsessed and to help cope I just heavily pay attention to food all around me, looking at it is a way to get it out of my system and add to a fantasy hit list of future things to do/eat. Take beer and KFC for example, when that newsbomb first hit we were all like whaaaaaaat!? Then swiftly forgot all about it, then I found one and it’s like the holy grail feels like. Plus it was empty attached to this wave of the future commercial development plaza thing, kind of sad kind of like outerspace awesome. The future is concrete!

Still gotta post all these guys too! I still haven’t even posted Shannon’s Halloween party pics I hate myself wahhhhhhhh bye.

ps. I ello, check it out. The numbers have surpassed 1200 now wowee zowee.

update: my ello profile is one of the official siggested selections of ello!!!!!! that’s why my numbers go up. now I have to ello even more now.

Just tryna be a heartthrob here

Everyone knows I love Shia LaBeouf, Shia La french word for egg. I also really enjoy the word Beouf. See, we make jokes and kid around that is how advanced our one-sided love is at this point.

And I also love Sia too, so much so that I made a weirdo platinum blond hair video to Sia before Sia did, maybe she even copied me who knows God I miss those shorts left them in a cab on Pride a couple years ago haha giver!

beat and the pulse from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

I also liked her back when I looked like this.

And that.

Okay happy TBT I think these are all the Sia videos I have. More crazy news coming soon always.