I’d apologize but I wouldn’t mean it

Hiya. Take in the last newd of 2014.

Winter stir crazy rural Ontario (yes Hamilton and Burlington are rural to me) has begun to take its chilly toll so we went to bowlerama and ate a bag of polish sour candy. Winter and not drinking makes you get creative. Come spring, I’ll have loomed an area rug, made some candles, illustrated and published a colouring book for the gifted, starred in a small town theatre production (I have no idea what you call this shit I just make it up as I go along) and learned the kazoo. Goals, am I right!

No but seriously I’m going to be doing a talk in the Kawartha Lakes area about blogging/social media to the arts council there. That’s going to be a time! It’s in February, they had spring slots but I took winter cos I am insane like that. There is nothing more beautiful and terrifying than driving in the northern snow with a travel budget to talk about yourself. Maybe it will be like the sequel to Misery. But it will be like a buddy black comedy picture, Misery loves company. There is probably already a movie called that anyway.

You win some you lose some.

I am the Prince Caspian of bowling.

Was trying to ge a lipstick shot.

Bowling alleys are time machines and that guy is intense.

I wanted that bear bad.

Omg I hate winter so much it should be called whiner.

I don’t think I can handle how very white snake this look is. Will also accept Vietnam war.

Can handle how cartoonish these look.

Polish Santa and his swinging lamp.

When all else fails go stoic. It comes naturally. This is my bitch resting face ha burn it’s just a Mona Lisa. Back then that was a smile.

Pardon me if I walk around like Mick Jagger all day I am practising my rock persona. I have mapped out my outfit in my head. Not telling. Jared and I are rehearsing immediately after I hit enter. I have the tingles. What’s that feeling. Excitement? AKA pumped? Yeah. That. Already been chatting it up with some other acts on the bill I am 1000% starstruck in advance. Butterflies. flutterflies. That is the vibe. Drink-free day 4 and it’s New Year’s Eve this is a recipe for Raymdisaster.

BTW I don’t always only wear one shirt here. This is one shirt twice and someone obsessively does laundry so it’s pretty chill. I dress horribly in stoney creek because I am a jerk. I wore my thermal pants which are essentially long johns aka underwear for every errand including bowling yesterday. We see Lindsay dinner jackets often. You know what those are? Those plaid thermal work coats men wear. THIS close to wearing/getting one. It’s like a burlier version of a Canadian Tuxedo. Don’t knock it til ya try it.

I enjoyed that candy cane.

Part of my outfit tonight. Man the chick who helped me was so frosty. Eastern European women have asbergers, not one fucking little laugh or smile out of them. I bought this full price lipstick because she was so super mean! Wouldn’t even give me a deal. At least I had a gigantic box of tampons in my hand at the time you stupid bitch (this is stand-up style mateial delivery don’t be offended) hello can’t you see I am on my period here BE NICE TO MEEEEE! God it was awkward and then bf comes over and I’m like here can you hold this please and pass him the box. This lady did not pick up on any of the humour in this situation, it really irritated me.

Good but gross after awhile.

I don’t even know what I am looking at.

Have a chill NYE everyone! See you tonight. Boylord goes on at 11pm in the basement then our best friend Buck 65 is after us!!!

The party will be on the 6pm CBC news!