ill behave. maybe.

Hey hey. Decided on a little adventure this weekend for a change. This post is going to be ridonkulously out of order isn’t that great! Like it matters anyway, throw a bunch of crap into a weekend in the Canadian version of Atlantic City with outfit changes and just make it out alive by Sunday sunset for the epic drive home with the sun in your face.

I enjoyed these very much and have several more pics of them all in various poses but you get the point and I got tired of looking at them on my phone after going through a billion selfies (which you will see here!) but trust me at the time it was a mindblowing experience.

I am making this face because I am still bummed about his death IRL. This is the last look Heath Ledger is known for and I guess ultimately killed him (as an obsessive method actor he went mad, turned to drugs, could not sleep, etc.) The creepy is inescapable. I wrote a blog eulogy about his celebrity death about it at the time from the couch in my old condo I remember exactly where I was sitting I was so enraged by snarky internet peeps/media offering the same crap said today when a celeb dies, “so what.” SO WHAT? I’LL &^$^%#*^% SHOW YOU SO WHAT! I just get so passionate sometimes guys I’m sorry!

This picture I will look at in January, maybe February, and about die. I am a sun baby. Emphasis on baby. There’s more to it but you will all make fun of me so nevermind. I have a serious sports bra tan. Likewise an ankle one and stomache shorts line tan. I’ll hit up my tanning salon soon to even it all out and I can go as a leather bag for Halloweenis.

Have you ever cheersed Niagara Falls with Evian and Grey Goose before? Remember I said those old bag collectibles from above were mindblowing? Excraptly.

And no I’m not going to tell you anything you actually want to know about any of this. I’ve been troll-abused recently by some long time blog obsessed psycho who even stalks my (other famous internet) friends and screamy insultingly bash demanded information about what’s up currently in my life, essentially, you know what? My friends know what’s up and you’re not my friend so FUCK OFF. I have a lot of relationships, maintained and friends, I am Raymi the fucking Minx hello – shit just happens for me and then I do it, how do you live your life? I do not have children and I have always and will always lead a “different” lifestyle so kindly leave me alone and/or accept it. I am one of those rogue types and there’s lots out there. Oh plus it was a suite if you must know.

Lol. “RTM: Enjoy it for what it is and fuck off!”

Hanging in the room as long as possible. They give a later check-out in Niagara Falls, 2:30! People must get insanely shmammered is why, or they’re just a proper hotel allowing you to soak up the luxury. Except those two bonus hours were spent being walked in on THREE different occasions like no one in housekeeping gets the memo? The Embassy Suites have seen enough of my ass. My teeth don’t look bad for someone who forgot their toothbrush right. I was gonna buy one.

Like staring at a moving painting all weekend. You get to saying dumb things about it too like, where does all that water go? Where does it keep coming from omg!? Making arty videos of the falls falling to your stupid ipod ahaha best. In between trying on all the clothes you packed and posing in front of them.

Had the whole view too. Saw a million rainbows.

This was funny to me. Mostly it was lovely, the light, the clear water on water.

Retro falls art.

Jacuzzi pizza why not. I mean I am dying, I need this.

Went to Yuk Yuk’s. Sat in the front row. Turns out I know the headliner. I can go to any teeny weeny little place in the world and someone there knows Raymi it is the greatest.

Finally sewed my jumpsuit. Because it’s black why not, no one will notice the awful job I did.

Turns out my heels were in a bag within a bag in my bag so I could’ve worn them out and around the casino. Oh well probably safer to be in flats haha.

Back definition from running. Run dancing. I’m telling ya! I’m gonna rip some free weights after I post this. I ran tan walked a lot yesterday and lost 4lbs. My right foot is killing for it though, cannot wait to get new shoes.

I have no idea how to pose and I super don’t care. I think I was dancing or just trying to keep my shit together. Waterfall discoball much though right?

This is just the appetizer for the yellow Corvette I posed all over downstairs. They valet park the nicest cars outside to make the hotel look more hype. I’d be like cool so those are all the people to rob at The Embassy Suites nice thanks!

Thanks for paying attention this far! Do you need a break, some water?

Fun times.

Took a cab to the other side of town where Yuk Yuk’s is and cab driver was complete wastecase hot mess. Incredible. Like, couldn’t even make words happen or name local landmarks and is an alleged townie…. yeah blotto. He knew we knew he was mangled, was just hoping the ride would be over asap. Go Niagara!

Free drinks down in the lobby come with the room package.

Bumped into my friend Jerry!

So many outfits in so little time. This shirt is so fun especially when stupid people try and read it. You’d be amazed at how many people get tripped up on the word literally. Wow sad.

It also makes me cringe for me because it’s a bold statement and I hate lying but I love typewriter font especially on white, it achieves the overall understated cool aesthetic that I usually go for and now I know why bros wear shirts with stupid sayings on them.

Seeing the falls by night, day, sun, overcast, rainbow. Very nice, well done.

That made me think of Futurama. If you’re a fan you’ll get it hopefully. Can’t be bothered to google what I am loosely trying to connect.

Pretty emo upon arrival.

Gonna have to make this diatribe a two-parter, feels long enough.

Have a great Tuesday! :)

The blog must go on

Lets begin again somewhere in the middle.

Hi Liz!

She painted this shoe it’s on her twitter header @artwaif. One of the many highlights of reading her blog was when she went to Burning Man and seeing her preparations for that. Girl crafts, yo. Hoola hoops, glitter, paint, etc. OKAY BACk TO ME NOW.

I got to be a hand model for work did I tell you? Always keeping those bad boys in check.

A few days before NYE.

Raymi Lauren.

Amazing. I was jealous. So much is going on with this burger. A pineapple? WTF I would throw that off. The smokey burger plus the warm tandoori creamy sauce blew my mind, and it’s open face and messy as hell. He ordered it.

I had a tosti and because the spicy-peppery thinly sliced salami was charcuterie-level and the sandwich was pressed thin, I wasn’t jealous of his lunch for very long. I try to eat super light if at all in the day since we gorge all night long.

These stairs are daring. The side at the right is so thin it’s like walking on a ledge, you must pay attention to your feet at all times it’s like a paper fan, hard to convey go see for yourself. I am a recovering foot injured person, falling is a new paranoia added to my list of hypochondria. Fact: I am accident-prone.

I call this: Elitist PR girl porn.

I call this: Desperate housewife.

Dutch bathroom time. Futuristic retro and Japan-like. Sidenote: I have never been to Japan but I have a Hello Kitty complex.

Efficient. Very common typical and the button on the wall too. I love toilets here because they are huge and you can fill it up with all the tp you want. I’m sorry but I make mountains.

AHHH see.

Swoon.

Stuff like this inspires me forever. It’s like dopamine looking at and romanticizing surroundings you escape to in your dreams.

I love you. I love Eu. I love Europe.

Oh you know just a house castle just around the corner.

It was a lovely day. I really love this house. This style, it screams English cottage. His mom was just here and gave me some bg info on Holland, it is largely French inspired actually and Napoleon had his fingers all over it. His brother was the King and lived in this palace in Amsterdam btw. Then all of his siblings became a queen or a king. What a crazy time that would have been.

Good timing on this film. Football hooligans.

End of year errands were done in the evening. They call New year’s eve-eve Old year. It’s confusing hearing people talk sometimes, their expressions are amusing. On NYE I could not for the life of me think of ONE example of an English expression (two birds one stone for example) but now they’ve all come flooding in. I said that the Dutch speak in riddle all the time “expressions” and they said no they do not. I dunno, whatever it keeps you on your toes.

Then he got a haircut.

I bought perfume (it’s really weak) and this bottle is almost empty.

This was hangover from NYE, the morning after old year. Aardappelschotel – holland potatoes with German ham. Fried eggs over them. Was good and filling, I didn’t eat too much.

A chick I work with hooked me up with a bunch of jerk spice marinades. She gets me. We marinated these legs for three days, we ate one batch but knew we would be hung after new year’s eve. Planning in advance is key to party.

I don’t know if I blogged this. Look how bossy I look. She’s trying to plug her ear from the firework explosions the men were setting off right outside. God that was an experience alright.

Left these here in the spring and I don’t think I even wore them once. Canada infiltrating yeah!

Dressing the part for the sojourn to Germany.

The tree is gone now.

If I ever sell bibles I will keep this outfit in mind.

Trying to remember if you have blogged an instagram photo before or not is tough. I try to be thorough, it is annoying. I am just trying to be a better blogger. Isn’t that cute and virtuous? If anything, this creation is a gift to myself to preserve all of the awesome I ever did and loved.

We have talked about this one before. I was surprised how small it was. Van Gogh is the one who cut off his ear. What a weirdo. I draw the line well before self mutilation.

I’m going to go eat a handful of that meat right now and press publish because It’s time to stretch these legs and straighten this hunch. Have a great I can’t believe that it’s Friday. RLW.

Blog save the Queen

Hi sports fans.

I am sitting in this seat right now writing this. Mind blowing.

This is from a couple nights ago.

We live in the dark. Not today though, had an early start.

Dinner at the Dutch folk’s.

Everything and anything on the table was grilled (pan fried) in the end, we got creative with it.

On Xmas day I spoke to bf’s dad about what colour flowers these would be once they bloomed. Then this evening he pulled me aside and was like THEY WERE WHITE. Then we talked about lilacs and Hyacinth (which these are) and between our language barrier/difference and the garbage I was trying to sell, it was a pretty funny conversation. Ps. black licorice is disgusting. My nana and mom are all about it as well. I do not get black licorice. 0%.

We bought this meat package for ourselves as well, coincidentally – reduced from 19.99 Euro to 12.99. His mom got an even better deal than us. She always does! Clockwise from top left is Beef, duck, pork, chicken. All totally tasty.

Hi Aladdin condiments. I love this shit. It’s a special bottle for Christmas. You start questioning things like, is this normal or is this Dutch? BF’s uncle grilled like this a lot in France and they all thought it was a Dutch thing, but it isn’t. It’s just a thing. You can totally do this too. baha.

See where the white feathers came from? Mom gave us some as well. I tried to buy more decorations last night that were 50% off 2.99 no big deal right? Bf was like hell no well Frig HIM I am so putting more on the tree next chance I get lol.

Yesterday on our way to linner.

Continue reading

are you writing the book or is the book writing you

Hi what’s up. Hi, hi, yeah yeah. So I took a lot of photos the day before we left leading up to the day we arrived then we got busy living life here and these ones got left behind, but now I’m going to take a special T-O and get’er done with it.

Here’s an irrelevant cotton candy sky though first. That night was good I imagine, think recollect. Didn’t summer whip by for you too?

A gift we left behind, too much weight. My exercise ball too thanks dutch mum! Can’t wait to bounce on that thing and sit for immeasurable hours on end while I tone. Keep that posture postured, work out the kinks in my affinity for hunch.

Discovered that peach polish the night before should have bought it. I’ll find it again.

Baha with the scarf I look like that mexican mouse cartoon loser in a scene where he flies a plane and then all the foibles and hi-jinxes occur, right?

He makes me take landmarks of everything pictures and in his accent says, “take thees baby it is of very recognizable thing.” ha aw.

I’m like ten pounds lighter since this holy shit traveling nana potato.

Smoke hot box.

We had about an hour+ to kill.

I want to stay in a Yotel.

Dutch people have problems with the letter Y, they pronounce it Jotel. Jogurt. Ha. So it’s funny that this is called Yotel at the Amsterdam airport where NO ONE will say it right.

Uhh?

Kay easy easy now. Oh look more amsterdam actually visiting the city pictures shit is just scattered and sprinkled everywhere, sighrry.

Alright alright nice.

No wait, done.

Chocolate to what?

Don’t tell me what to do.

These I smoked when I was in England.

Worst cookie ever. It’s like black forest cake, you can’t just put two things together and call it a day. It’s so bland, artificial.

Ugh.

WTF IS THIS NOW!!!?? Moreos! BARF.

Much better. It’s like people who like licorice. You guys are fucked.

Tulip nation. During the war, people ate tulip bulbs when they were starving and had no money for food. Count your blessings.

I <3 NY plus I <3 Aruba etc was copied from the I am Amsterdam slogan. #Fact.

This kid wanted us to do an airport/travel satisfaction of some sort survey I said sure but you gotta haul ass with us around the corner to another smoking room while we hook you up with answers.

He was like Charlie Bucket in the modern future.

See the woman pouring milk, woah relax.

This room was less disgusting on account of the window light but it was still hot and smokey stuffy.

Spicy Maxima and the king. Is she Queen now then? Cos his mother was Queen and it’s not like she passed Maxima her crown, so I dunno. I got this tin of cookies for my Nana.

How could someone leave these behind?

Intense.

Hello anybody in there.

It’s our plane. An Air France KLM one, I see (make up your mind?).

Our tv’s did not work for the entire flight of 7 hours – boarding early time sitting in there from start to fin and those are pretty expensive plane tickets so it was pretty shitty, just saying.

Leg room consolation prize. The guy beside us cashed out immediately for the entire flight. We sat on that chair across from our seats here on that fold-out flight attendant seat whom of which was an adorable little sprite. One flight attendant was super rude to my bf every time he got up to walk around and stretch his legs, it was strange like an I hate you cos you’re straight kind of bossy way. Bf was like I have to avoid him because I will lose my temper next time. It was so passive aggressive and we did not appreciate it at all and he wouldn’t have been roving around had our bloody tv screens worked KLM. All I wanted to do was zone out and snooze to Cinderella and other guilt plej movies/shows.

We kept busy, drinking and sharing his laptop and watching life of pi til the battery died/meal time. We interacted which turned to bickering off and on, thanks KLM. We totally needed naps. Had a late night and spent the day in a frenzy getting all last minute shit done and shutting down the house, packing, train travel it was a definite mish.

We had great weather our first morning, all day in Canada. It was a happy fun time. Okay I got things to do now thanks for that!

Me this morning hello goodbye.