relevant resonant

Being a big mouth while having secrets is mega fuckin hard I’m just gonna come out with that one. Having a full, eccentric life that feels to be bursting at times in every way you finally want it to is absolute insanity but this is the way it is and how I am. I am going to blog like a demon now because that is what has always centered me. My ADD is off the chain and it takes a lot to focus as well there’s always a lot of people to say ttyl to. I am tired of these side converations I think I can navigate while trying to write, to anything. NO MORE. Lauren Write needs to write so let her. Disappearing off the face of the (city) earth and from phone felt so good last week. I am doing that again this weekend while I hopefully sleep for 48 hours that I’ve sorely needed.

Sorry but I am tired of being there for people. I need to do me right now. I need to cut some of you out. Thin the herd. I have virtual check-ins with people, all kinds of handfuls of them everyday all day long and it’s starting to make me insane. The OCD and guilt to reply to every person last week, went away. It’s OKAY if you just ghost. It’s ok if you don’t reply. I am sorry if that stings some of you but I have been putting myself second for too long. I mean I like being there and I like the friendships but trying to mainain them all is driving me bonkers and maybe even made me sick. I am spread around too thinly. When all of my friends are amazing creatives doing great things I love to keep track of all of them and pitch in, take part in all of that too (FOMO) but it’s simply just too much. Don’t you agree? Do you feel like your head is barely above water sometimes managing your life schedule? I must be doing some of the wrong things. I am just tired of saying I am busy to the same select group of people over and over again and them not getting it sorry if that pisses you off but busy isn’t over until it’s over. I am busy as well as sick. I have started a new job and I am in the process of moving as well as managing another background drama do you get the picture yet? I can’t be your party girl all the fucking time. Posting a hot pic isn’t necessarily a thirst trap for you and I do not give second chances, while I am at it. If I made time for you and you bailed on that scheduled hang, I am not hanging with you again. You showed yourself once. I have no time for flakes. If anything I get to be the flake. Not you.

I basically NEED to do this post before I can finish the next one in queue which actually should take importance over this one here but like I said “I need this” ha ha. As a creative. We have our quirks and “rules” our practises and we have our rituals. One day I’d like to let some crazy bastard film my process and then you’ll all be like OMFG idiot. Hahha. I know I am charming and insane and worthwhile. Hey I like me!

Stacy, a hairstylist (top right) and friend of mine from Grateful Head salon on Dundas said some really nice things to me last night at Swan Dive that squeezed some of the bullshit perspective I have about myself out of my brain and I was like YEAH FUCK YEAH and THANK YOU! I was speechless. He thinks I’m a better marketer, seller more than I even know. Invaluable information. I will talk more about him and Grateful Head later on don’t you worry.

When you live a high octane life and you’re busy and you just can’t get out of things AND you are sick it eventually blows up in your face. I just had a sauna and steamed out some toxins and now I am ready to rock right after I pop another Dayquil. WHOOOOO!

Now here’s some fourth wall broken down I just sent everything I wrote above to a creative co-hort and here it is.

thats a real powerful blog post. So real, genuine. People will love it

Thank u
Aww
All the good head cases will come out

Good on you serious

Cos I posed questions
Also telling people to leave me alone

Let em, stirs up things
Yes
Get people talking, interested in what is going to happen to your sense of self. It tells people to take care of themselves too. Reminds them
It is great and inspirational

im tired of posting a selife then getting barraged
just watch the show and leave me the fuck alone
u are not a part of this
but its good for business u need them to love you

Yeah

tired of saying yes i am still busy
busy means busy
and busy doesnt end
(end rant)

The point is just leave me alone for a week. Two weeks. I feel like I am begging here. I mean don’t ignore me no don’t leeeeeeeeeave me. I just mean some of you in the inner circle I have more of a rapport with, stop griefing me for being MIA and not replying I just need to keep my focus. It’s nothing personal I will be back and I will go away again. That’s just who I am. This is me saying I need time and I will probably smash something if I have to repeat it to you again. Yes I have issues with rage, people who try to manipulate me emotionally and try to take advantage of my time. If you want the doctor to be in you have to make it worth her while. Someone wanted to have a business call and I charged for it, he asked why I said because this is what I do. You want me involved, you have to pay me to care. You want my insights and tastemaking, you pay for that too. For me to pause the many things I am always trying to do to stop, drop, and roll for your cause…you pay for it. Time is money. Getting my brain to concentrate requires energy I’d rather direct to things I’m already busy doing and to throw another thing on the plate is fine, but it has to be compensated.

I don’t care how snotty or self-entitled I sound. When is the last time you saw a post here? I am busy I am busy don’t you get it I am busy. When I was a 9-5 copywriter I was busy asf I never spoke of my work I kept my head down as much as I could and I seldom blogged. Go where the money is, go to that. Shut out everybody else and don’t you dare feel any guilt about it. Focus on your shit. Other people are way better at this than I ever was, living for themselves and getting their priorities straight. Me? I collect a bunch of ding dongs to occupy my (waste of) time and I am 33 years old now. I can’t balance it anymore. I love to chat yes I do but I also want to dive into my work and do better work. More work. WERK. I am building something here and I’d like to continue, to finish it. I am my priority right now, you aren’t. I’d like to be there for everybody but I can’t anymore. I don’t want to lose friends either but if you don’t understand any of this you’re not a real friend anyway. Real friends have patience and generally their own shit going on too, they get me whereas everybody else is a needy cling-on and I am not your mommy anymore.

This has been building up inside of me for a long time. Sometimes I just get irked. I can anticipate why people are talking to me, what they’re really after, and it generally doesn’t align with my own intentions or what will ever be feasible between us so stop leching out on me. I post sexy things for my brand and not to get the male gaze or whatever shit my snide detractors claim, or think. I do it for me. To empower myself. There may be a little attention-seeking there too but mostly it’s for the arts and my lifelong passion of showing my fashion, looks, my vibe, and expressing opinions of my experience. We are allowed to do what we want in our lives. I am tired of making excuses for being “a blogger” after 16 years.

I have been sick for a week so sorry for the crabby I will move on to more of the photo and caption straight-forward style approach to blogging now. I had a lovely bday lunch. Was supposed to do one thing but those plans fell through and so was able to hit The Drake with a good bro, yay.

Maybe I am recovering from my birthday still something happened to me on it like in the Santa Claus or Freaky Friday. “I’ve changed” and for the better you’ll see.

Thanks mom for all the sweet gear.

I may be an idiot but I got nice gambs.

It was brutal weather on March 31. We waited out a lightning storm and drank champagne Heather and I did and busted out the selfie stick. Heather got us tickets to Field Trip. What a little scamp I lurve her. So do all the men. HEheh.

I tried to dress it up for this special day. Two outfits. Why not. I am over my birthday now my birthday complex is gone now I’m just like in post bday apocalypse recovery mode LOL haha okay I’m shutting it.

No I am not into the occult but other people are and I want to make money off them. This Wednesday Addams is available FOR SALE make an offer.

Ahhh Fujahtive. They’ll be having their own post. It was a solid show and the crowd was pretty great too! It always is and they always are.

Mom got excellent shots as usual.

Nothing beats a crisp white dress now I’m all set for a P.Diddy white party stay tuned. Thanks Sara Duke!

Dropping mad hints everywhere no? Lol.

What do you do with this life how do you organize it what do you make of it how do you showcase it. Just get on with it I guess.

A lot of great stories from this evening. So much love.

Love it.

So many possibilities found at The Darling Mansion.

Developed a (later on in life) dreamify addiction. Unique endless ways to be creative especially if one already has an artistic eye and access to wicked sets.

Love it. Loon records.

Please hang up and try your call again this is a recording.

Aging like a fiiiine wine. I’ve heard worse and recently too haha.

I just take so many pics of things and surroundings and myself that I make these collages that’s the short of it. I like how it tells the story.

Rural fashions.

I’ve been working for Shannon Brass Vixens queen as her personal assistant this week. Timing in life is everything and so far so good I love her. We go back some years. It all just makes sense.

Looking forward to getting a tan and rocking my new locks. Or at least not being sick anymore or looking Lydia Deetz-tired.

Uncanny.

So I been busy so I gwan slow it down this w/e and kick this cold’s ass. Looking forward to my guitar lesson tomorrow.

Goodbye dark roots. I thought they were kinda cute but your next colour application is always looming.

NO cut this time just a colour. Once I wash it and have it straightened like usual I am keen to see it in all its glory. Hair obsessed. Part of my personal passion project. When I had fug hair no one was nice to me. How you look is important it shouldn’t rule your whole world all the time but it pays off when an effort is made.

I love your loo Grateful Head.

Everyone needs a little birthday sprite like this.

Just don’t touch the merchandise. Okay I think I’ve hit the wall night everybody!

Oh yeah, don’t be pissed at me. I will get back to you when I can. There is a long list of you that’s all.

she’s like a raymbo

So, my new muses Hawkhaus blew through town from Detroit and we had a wicked time collaborating together Saturday at The Hotel Germain. There will be future stuff too. You’ll see. I see the landscape of my future and it is dotted with a LOT TO DO. Muchos overwhelming. All good things though. If not now when right?

I started making art again. Part of it feels like a dare but commission requests have started coming in so there you go.

The Reclamation Project from hawkhaus on Vimeo.

We are going to make video magic also.

I did not wash my hair this day. Can ya tell!?! haha.

Lizzy and Reggie are also in a band called Konqistador which is a big deal or something but I don’t pay attention to stuff like that. I’ve dated fat cats and been extemely oblivious to their level of fame. Blows their minds wish you could see it.

L told me R read The Satanic Bible and it helped him. A fan put this on stage at one of their gigs. I am trying to think of something I gave them other than a headache. Ha.

Lizzy gave me one of her bodysuits for the road. Sweetheart.

I was Willow Smithing here.

My arse looks mega juicy here yowzers.

It’s about time I did some of this. Coupled by that. Thanks guys!

Took a ton of pictures yesterday as well. More to come when I have time.

If you are attention starved ride a bike in a bodysuit like this. Take your pants off down by the water too. Go for it!

The food was mighty tasty at School. We were misbehaved students a little.

It was a fabulous fun-filled time and anybody witnessing it from a neighbouring balcony was a lucky guy. I liked underwear party that I saw at one point over yonder of a guy and a girl totally ignoring us right back. Go Saturdaze.

Raymcheck

Happy Thursday! Been a busy and good week. Here’s some treasures from yesterday.

We went to Addison’s to poke around with our new friends Toronto Interior Designers LHDT. I could not resist blowing this long horn on our way out. Watch the clip here.

Louise and Jenn are talented women and a great team. We meshed very well together and I look forward to working with them in the coming months (and dare I say, years).

We had a lot of fun. Did I mention that yet already?

I look like sasquatch. No shame.

James Addison put me right in the slammer when we arrived after calling ahead and begging them to stay open. When 3 hot ladies showed up he didn’t stop cheekily Scotsman flirting with us until we left. Best time.

He was expecting for another gal to get in there after me haha.

This installation is being worked on, he said.

We look like an indie folk band. Bluegrass?

Throw away the key bro I got all the nudie mags I need.

We were all sweltering in there it was almost like a test to see how long we could last and it was worth it because there was just so much to discover. I love antiquing. We will definitely head back again. Mr. Addison keeps bees too so naturally he and Rob bonded over that. FATE

Paula is super nice! We will be featuring more of this experience on my new website very very soon. Sorry to cut it off I just don’t want crickets and tumbleweeds to blow through RTM is all.

Now here I am a week ago Wednesday the night I met Louise. Don’t get me started on how behind I am in blogging just do NOT.

Here I am scampering away from Louise all shy and she’s looking at the picture I just took of her, oh that fateful photo.

THIS

She was disappearing into this painting and I needed to get a picture of it and as it turns out she’s just as driven and high-energy as yours truly. Meant to be.

Spied this old world structure on our way to a meeting yesterday morning.

Some of what we shared with clients yesterday. Delicious.

Thanks for dropping in and understanding! See you around xo RLW. Lurk my ello if you get desperate.

Uma Nota – Summer Block Party

We experienced a happy discovery last night – Uma Nota!

Uma Nota Block party poster, 23 strachen
We were flipping through Meetup and found the description of UMA NOTA to be intriguing because it states that only those people age 25 to 36 can attend but anyway off we went lol. It happens every summer and this might have been the last one because a condo might go up in its place by next year. :(

We bumped into Sean Anicic.

Sean Anicic

and took in Flavia Nascimento and her band. She is incredible.

Uma Nota Block Party

Now watch the video from last night. I get down big time.

Raymi at the Uma Nota Block Party

I had an excellent time. The best. I love dancing with strangers and making new friends. Hopig to go to Uma Nota again next year!

And I made big bubbles too.

We played ping pong. We suck.

Just a teeny little walk from Liberty Village and you’re there.

all thighs and eyes

What’s up the blogger said to thee!

Last Friday (feels like yesterday) we hit up the tents oh look at me talking all fashion, “the tents”. I hope the out crowd can pick up on this industry lingo along with my heavy facetiousness. Sometimes I can’t tell if people can tell that I am ALWAYS JOKING HERE.

Now there’s a smile, Laurence.

We had some time to kill before the show. We were not only on time but ahead of time for once which is awesome for capturing a lot of pics. My mom is a very thorough events photographer and has expanded, these two shoot in tandem it is the best.

We are going to do a shoot together eventually.

The show we saw was by Huntress. See that necklace. Gems baby. The designer is up for a people’s choice for best collection, go vote for huntress you have til Nov 7th. What Would Laurence Fishburne Do? His baby mama closed the show with 2 Irish Wolfhounds a whutty-whut. That is because why and what.

We is always about the street photography too you know that boo. I get an assist on scoring this one, my call plus allowance. I had to whittle this post down to a finite amount. Toronto is such a small town and my mom photographed every single fashionista you would recognize, you’ll have to go to her album on FB to see. There’s unwritten rules here yo, can’t post it all.

Slob chic at your service. It’s at that point in the laundry rotation when things get interesting. However, I have been selected as a fashion notable to partake in an upcoming fashion social media thing so the style moves are working. Hashtag werking. From now on I am just going to Kerouacian prose prozac when I write here because who even knows how to do this thing called blogging anymore. If but nothing else than to please my fellow literary counterparts.

How, “This is not my first rodeo” is my face much?

Age gracefully. Grace agefully. I’m gonna tweet this Raymism what I just invented. Ten bucks no one cares.

Werk werk work, work mom work.

Tracey really captures it all.

A meeting of the minds.

This is how you own a sidewalk.

A woman captured a video of us walking alongside the streetcar on king to university. Wonder where that footage ends up!

Treatin my peeps to drinks. Love that ring of mine hey don’t look ay my pin!

Nice hat.

I would be a great model all you have to do is look angry a lot and wear a ton of makeup.

Fabulous check-in set-up this year. Like into a hotel on broadway.

So much bling and eccentricity. Check the gasp face in the middle. That’s laurence’s lady friend.

Hi again.

I miss Toronto.

Stink eye for you.

And for you. My hair is growing like a weed around my back.

Can you imagine three of me? Actually that equals 5.

I’m going to unfortunately break a blogging rule and pause this as I have to do some burlesque rehearsal related things now. Top Secret!!! Come to Poletergeist on Friday! Pt II Fashion Week tomowoah!

ill behave. maybe.

Hey hey. Decided on a little adventure this weekend for a change. This post is going to be ridonkulously out of order isn’t that great! Like it matters anyway, throw a bunch of crap into a weekend in the Canadian version of Atlantic City with outfit changes and just make it out alive by Sunday sunset for the epic drive home with the sun in your face.

I enjoyed these very much and have several more pics of them all in various poses but you get the point and I got tired of looking at them on my phone after going through a billion selfies (which you will see here!) but trust me at the time it was a mindblowing experience.

I am making this face because I am still bummed about his death IRL. This is the last look Heath Ledger is known for and I guess ultimately killed him (as an obsessive method actor he went mad, turned to drugs, could not sleep, etc.) The creepy is inescapable. I wrote a blog eulogy about his celebrity death about it at the time from the couch in my old condo I remember exactly where I was sitting I was so enraged by snarky internet peeps/media offering the same crap said today when a celeb dies, “so what.” SO WHAT? I’LL &^$^%#*^% SHOW YOU SO WHAT! I just get so passionate sometimes guys I’m sorry!

This picture I will look at in January, maybe February, and about die. I am a sun baby. Emphasis on baby. There’s more to it but you will all make fun of me so nevermind. I have a serious sports bra tan. Likewise an ankle one and stomache shorts line tan. I’ll hit up my tanning salon soon to even it all out and I can go as a leather bag for Halloweenis.

Have you ever cheersed Niagara Falls with Evian and Grey Goose before? Remember I said those old bag collectibles from above were mindblowing? Excraptly.

And no I’m not going to tell you anything you actually want to know about any of this. I’ve been troll-abused recently by some long time blog obsessed psycho who even stalks my (other famous internet) friends and screamy insultingly bash demanded information about what’s up currently in my life, essentially, you know what? My friends know what’s up and you’re not my friend so FUCK OFF. I have a lot of relationships, maintained and friends, I am Raymi the fucking Minx hello – shit just happens for me and then I do it, how do you live your life? I do not have children and I have always and will always lead a “different” lifestyle so kindly leave me alone and/or accept it. I am one of those rogue types and there’s lots out there. Oh plus it was a suite if you must know.

Lol. “RTM: Enjoy it for what it is and fuck off!”

Hanging in the room as long as possible. They give a later check-out in Niagara Falls, 2:30! People must get insanely shmammered is why, or they’re just a proper hotel allowing you to soak up the luxury. Except those two bonus hours were spent being walked in on THREE different occasions like no one in housekeeping gets the memo? The Embassy Suites have seen enough of my ass. My teeth don’t look bad for someone who forgot their toothbrush right. I was gonna buy one.

Like staring at a moving painting all weekend. You get to saying dumb things about it too like, where does all that water go? Where does it keep coming from omg!? Making arty videos of the falls falling to your stupid ipod ahaha best. In between trying on all the clothes you packed and posing in front of them.

Had the whole view too. Saw a million rainbows.

This was funny to me. Mostly it was lovely, the light, the clear water on water.

Retro falls art.

Jacuzzi pizza why not. I mean I am dying, I need this.

Went to Yuk Yuk’s. Sat in the front row. Turns out I know the headliner. I can go to any teeny weeny little place in the world and someone there knows Raymi it is the greatest.

Finally sewed my jumpsuit. Because it’s black why not, no one will notice the awful job I did.

Turns out my heels were in a bag within a bag in my bag so I could’ve worn them out and around the casino. Oh well probably safer to be in flats haha.

Back definition from running. Run dancing. I’m telling ya! I’m gonna rip some free weights after I post this. I ran tan walked a lot yesterday and lost 4lbs. My right foot is killing for it though, cannot wait to get new shoes.

I have no idea how to pose and I super don’t care. I think I was dancing or just trying to keep my shit together. Waterfall discoball much though right?

This is just the appetizer for the yellow Corvette I posed all over downstairs. They valet park the nicest cars outside to make the hotel look more hype. I’d be like cool so those are all the people to rob at The Embassy Suites nice thanks!

Thanks for paying attention this far! Do you need a break, some water?

Fun times.

Took a cab to the other side of town where Yuk Yuk’s is and cab driver was complete wastecase hot mess. Incredible. Like, couldn’t even make words happen or name local landmarks and is an alleged townie…. yeah blotto. He knew we knew he was mangled, was just hoping the ride would be over asap. Go Niagara!

Free drinks down in the lobby come with the room package.

Bumped into my friend Jerry!

So many outfits in so little time. This shirt is so fun especially when stupid people try and read it. You’d be amazed at how many people get tripped up on the word literally. Wow sad.

It also makes me cringe for me because it’s a bold statement and I hate lying but I love typewriter font especially on white, it achieves the overall understated cool aesthetic that I usually go for and now I know why bros wear shirts with stupid sayings on them.

Seeing the falls by night, day, sun, overcast, rainbow. Very nice, well done.

That made me think of Futurama. If you’re a fan you’ll get it hopefully. Can’t be bothered to google what I am loosely trying to connect.

Pretty emo upon arrival.

Gonna have to make this diatribe a two-parter, feels long enough.

Have a great Tuesday! :)

The blog must go on

Lets begin again somewhere in the middle.

Hi Liz!

She painted this shoe it’s on her twitter header @artwaif. One of the many highlights of reading her blog was when she went to Burning Man and seeing her preparations for that. Girl crafts, yo. Hoola hoops, glitter, paint, etc. OKAY BACk TO ME NOW.

I got to be a hand model for work did I tell you? Always keeping those bad boys in check.

A few days before NYE.

Raymi Lauren.

Amazing. I was jealous. So much is going on with this burger. A pineapple? WTF I would throw that off. The smokey burger plus the warm tandoori creamy sauce blew my mind, and it’s open face and messy as hell. He ordered it.

I had a tosti and because the spicy-peppery thinly sliced salami was charcuterie-level and the sandwich was pressed thin, I wasn’t jealous of his lunch for very long. I try to eat super light if at all in the day since we gorge all night long.

These stairs are daring. The side at the right is so thin it’s like walking on a ledge, you must pay attention to your feet at all times it’s like a paper fan, hard to convey go see for yourself. I am a recovering foot injured person, falling is a new paranoia added to my list of hypochondria. Fact: I am accident-prone.

I call this: Elitist PR girl porn.

I call this: Desperate housewife.

Dutch bathroom time. Futuristic retro and Japan-like. Sidenote: I have never been to Japan but I have a Hello Kitty complex.

Efficient. Very common typical and the button on the wall too. I love toilets here because they are huge and you can fill it up with all the tp you want. I’m sorry but I make mountains.

AHHH see.

Swoon.

Stuff like this inspires me forever. It’s like dopamine looking at and romanticizing surroundings you escape to in your dreams.

I love you. I love Eu. I love Europe.

Oh you know just a house castle just around the corner.

It was a lovely day. I really love this house. This style, it screams English cottage. His mom was just here and gave me some bg info on Holland, it is largely French inspired actually and Napoleon had his fingers all over it. His brother was the King and lived in this palace in Amsterdam btw. Then all of his siblings became a queen or a king. What a crazy time that would have been.

Good timing on this film. Football hooligans.

End of year errands were done in the evening. They call New year’s eve-eve Old year. It’s confusing hearing people talk sometimes, their expressions are amusing. On NYE I could not for the life of me think of ONE example of an English expression (two birds one stone for example) but now they’ve all come flooding in. I said that the Dutch speak in riddle all the time “expressions” and they said no they do not. I dunno, whatever it keeps you on your toes.

Then he got a haircut.

I bought perfume (it’s really weak) and this bottle is almost empty.

This was hangover from NYE, the morning after old year. Aardappelschotel – holland potatoes with German ham. Fried eggs over them. Was good and filling, I didn’t eat too much.

A chick I work with hooked me up with a bunch of jerk spice marinades. She gets me. We marinated these legs for three days, we ate one batch but knew we would be hung after new year’s eve. Planning in advance is key to party.

I don’t know if I blogged this. Look how bossy I look. She’s trying to plug her ear from the firework explosions the men were setting off right outside. God that was an experience alright.

Left these here in the spring and I don’t think I even wore them once. Canada infiltrating yeah!

Dressing the part for the sojourn to Germany.

The tree is gone now.

If I ever sell bibles I will keep this outfit in mind.

Trying to remember if you have blogged an instagram photo before or not is tough. I try to be thorough, it is annoying. I am just trying to be a better blogger. Isn’t that cute and virtuous? If anything, this creation is a gift to myself to preserve all of the awesome I ever did and loved.

We have talked about this one before. I was surprised how small it was. Van Gogh is the one who cut off his ear. What a weirdo. I draw the line well before self mutilation.

I’m going to go eat a handful of that meat right now and press publish because It’s time to stretch these legs and straighten this hunch. Have a great I can’t believe that it’s Friday. RLW.