what the blog

My Ten Minute Interview is up!!!

Here is an excerpt:

How does your online persona, Raymi the Minx, differ from that of your offline self?

Well, apparently she is my alter ego but maybe she’s really me. She’s my inner beast and demons, a caricature that, over the years, I’ve injected more of Lauren White into. I noticed how much Angelina Jolie has matured into this being of elegance, grace and poise over the years; she wasn’t always that good, you know, so maybe people will get over this Raymi the Minx rep that I have and see that I’m actually mature, whether behind the scenes or the image I project onto my blog. I am fun-loving and happy-go-lucky; people do not see the sweetheart that I am, I have been told, and they never will because half of my audience is blinded by hatred for me, which is hilarious because they cannot look away.

Read more: http://tenminuteinterviews.com/lauren-white/

More soon later friends!!!!

live sexily

So, hi. I’ve toyed with posting this butt pic for a little while and been too scared to. My homies are like why, just do it and don’t even explain it but you know me, I come with sexplanations. A ton. Meanwhile, instagram sent me one of those stern warnings about the below photo I posted yesterday for #TBT and they deleted my sad little nineteen year old neeple which I had expected them to do anyway, I even blurred it out a bit but obviously it did not suffice. Too much scandal.

What with all these celeb nudes going around, Emma Watson being bullied for standing up for lady rights to be met with nude leak threats what a goddamn great time to be alive no. I’ve already got a lot of image damning (artistic in my opinion) photos out there that ruin all future employment prospects so I may as well just keep on keeping on with it like that Emma Stone movie when she perpetuates the slut myth about herself for some stupid fucking reason. So, that’s my arse and now I have posted it I can move on. It was taken sometime this summer during my whirlwind of yolo. Have a nice day!

there’s no place like fomo

Yo amigos how you been? Oh me? Bored as shit whatevs heheh. This weather, something I incessantly complain about is legit killing my buzz. I’ve been working on my book. Going in a slightly different direction with it too que sera sera. I kinda wish I could tell you guys about it, but I will in time. You know when you do the things you love to do you just get all jazzed and wanna scream it from a megaphone and by megaphone I mean twitter. Pah. I’ll just chill then. I’m just going for it though I wanted you to know. The funnier things that I say and write tend to be more explicit in nature and people just can’t take it so I may as well stack ‘em all into one huge anthology telephone sized phonebook atrocity…

And like, the reason for writing this right now even and why I am gonna cut it short then hit pause and regroup later on with it. Why can’t I just Sarah Jessica Parker it what is wrong with my daily headfuck regarding my own constitution?

It’s two days later now. Your hero lost a day there to red wine and many expressive heartfelt apologies regarding that.

My foot is feeling better. Also the last couple days I’ve been in pain and haven’t really spoken about it, seems to be lifting now. If you don’t have your health you do not have anything. I felt like I was dying and my shitty horrible life flashed before my eyes. I’m gonna go see my family doc it’s due time.


Ass. See how I ran out of nail polish remover yesterday halfway through. Ratchet. A bro is dropping me off a bottle right now haha I win that victory at least.

My hair is kinda getting bananas in a good way. Like a lion. I might add blond streaks to it like a major lionness. No? Speak now.

I love red wine. I do not love red wine hangovers. Hmm. Pickle, that.

Wasted yesterday but today I did not and tomorrow just might be hot too. Here is hoping.


Spicy lobster mac.

Spicy Canadian Geese.

OMG am I cross eyed? Omg do not care.

Ribfest weekend sure was a bender if there ever was one. Being captain of a small town makes every little fair a gong show I guess huh.


Carpaccio. I am predictible.

On my run it occurred to me that I probably eat chicken wings at least 4 times a week.

The Minx assumes many forms.

And see.

I’m lollygagging I should be showering.

Sorry I’m boring have a great night yo!

I just want to be a unicorn

I was going to call this blog post LEGS ASS AND RIBS but I didn’t want to pigeonhole myself, I mean. I like this title better.

Plus, despite the onslaught of raymi selfies you’re gonna see here, there’s more to life than that. I think but I’m not sure. One thing I wanted to discuss in particular was the topic of nudes and what I think about the current affairs of today and how they pertain to me of course.

Actually, just thinking about this topic has exhausted me. Who doesn’t have nudes out there? Who doesn’t put clothes on everyday and put their shit together and not take ONE teeny picture? To send to a friend? Hello snapchatters. Anyway, it’s a giant wake up call is all and made me cringe a wee bit cos I sure as pie have been generous in the nudie-takey dept over the years, so… AND of course there’s the unmentionables a la #jlawleak we may or may not send to friends for a laugh because why not. All it takes is one of those “friends” to get a little sharesy though. I am just imagining the shit show that could be undone of all the nudes we have on each other and who will (if ever) press the button. Some people might be of the if I’m going down, you’re coming with me mindset.

Do I feel bad for Jennifer Lawrence? Yes. Is a piece of my heart blackened thus rendering me indifferent to all other bullshit and things that happen in the universe? Totally. Is this going to hurt her in any actual way? Negatory. And thus, the circle of oh big deal whatever is complete. She looks amazing in those photos. My mom said she looked like me in one and I was kinda like yeah I know but also kinda like where did my mom see nudes of me like that before? Haha.

Anyway, the internet is divided into victim shaming, blaming and discussion in general as it does when any celeb so much as farts the wrong way and I am already over it. Except I hear there’s a bj video that might drop which will suck for her lol nice pun.

It’s sad that women still have to fight to take control of our bodies and we always get razzed for it, most disgusting of all, by other women. The way I see it, if you’re at a place where you can enjoy and be comfortable in your own body then you should celebrate and show it off as much as you can because that confidence goes away at some point and you’ll pine for the days when you didn’t care.

Why would I go to the trouble to colour co-ordinate, dye my hair, fix my nails – to please just one person I see that day? No. I want to capture it for posterity and use it as content for my people. Try to be original about it, varietal.

Why am I even defending it? I’m not although it sounds like it. I am simply just saying. I feel like there are certain people in my feed who only added me out of a sick fascination obsession that relies on making fun of everything I post. Every selfie I put up and then sniggering about it to themselves. Who is the loser then here? Me or them? If I am such a tool then why look at me everyday. To make yourself feel better about yourself? Anyway, the fascination/obsession with celebrity and spying on our friend’s lives on bragbook isn’t a healthy one. To think there are actually people out there who do not participate in facebook, I mean I get it we all go on vacation and turn off our phones at some point but the thought still blows my mind as someone who is so deeply connected to social media and all the lovely garbage of the internet. I really need to kick this habit though or at east augment it so I am just a millionaire comedian who tweets witty one-liners that everybody loves.

Photographing our lives nowadays is simply part of the human experience. For some people, more than others and some more than that even.

Soul food in hell.

Okay. Let me tell you about Uncle Sam’s now. First, they won FIRST PLACE BST SAUCE! Second, they took care of me all weekend long and I capital love them and so do all my friends go life! I will never forget the day I first sauntered up to them 4 ribfests back and it wasn’t even about scoring ribs it was about not waiting in a huge line (good ribs equal long line) it was their energy and I love their hustle game plus they seem to like me and admire my own brand of insanity. I wish I could tell you more. One day in the autobio behind the raymi scenes like VH1.

In total: 3 whole racks of ribs
2 chickens
2 bottles of Uncle Sam’s Rib Sauce

I have an idea for a book again.

Like me! The future is yours!

I am retirig these shoes for a bit or wearing socks with them if possible. Went for a night walk in these and my feet are not happy with me for it.

We were in heaven. Thanks Uncle Sam’s!!!! I miss you already. :( Congrats on the win, have fun in Aurora and see you next year!

The people have spoken. Immortalized forevs ILU guys.

Stuff like this is what makes blogging worthwhile more so absolutely. If you want some raymi social medai gravy magic hit me up ;).

Me and some chill po po. You know, all weekend long if I wasn’t imbibing at ribfest in one way or another then I was running through it and checking out all the cops and don’t you know they be checkig me out too. You know I have a cop fetish right? They terrify and excite me. I feel drawn to them and then I run away without making eye contact as a pack stare me down. I guess it is weird to be a runner in a crowd you kinda stand out dressed in terminator gear.

You have a lot of self reflection time when you run and if you write it comes back in fragments to you, a thought, a moment. But all of it alone, spent alone. Watching. being watched. I live a lonely sailor’s life it seems. Summer is important to me because of this isolation. I mean. I have a lot of friends and suitors but if the soul is always seeking and searching it will neve stop and it always needs down time, thus be the timeline of my life.

This east coast celtic band were such a good time. One of those moments you’re glad you stopped. I stopped the next day on my run and stood in the sun to tan my face while a band played zeppelin and a girl got up to sing Journey with them, then they did my G’N’R fav, I boogied a little. Running without listening to music is an entirely different experience. I could hear the things I normally do not. When I start gunning for it at one point a dude in said Yeah work it! at me. It’s empowering and encouraging. I try to do run squat lunges. In my mind I look like a gazelle and not goig to lie or deny that I do have grace in my movements when I lap and run. I don’t care. It makes people smile. I have a routine. One day I will stop telling and start showing.

Always an impressive spread.

Back to reality now though and boot straps done pulled up. Yeah right haha.

If you accidentally swim with Canadian money you will be okay btw now you know.

Hope you had a great weekend and enjoy the shorter week. xo rlw.