Six months in mansions

I look like that crazy hipster arty girl in the movie you fall in love with. Much like Collin Ferrell’s cray hot mess sister in London Boulevard that we watched last night. Oh man Boner city of my heart! Keira Knightly was also cray, cray with bangs, gone Howard Hughes shut-in and stalked by papz with her eccentric funny friend, the ginger father from Harry Potter. they hire Ferrell to kick arse and his eyebrows are very distracting. It’s a dark comedy, set in, you guessed it, LONDON. Loved it. Rent it!

Why is crazy so hot? Stable crazy I mean. I prefer the strong silent arrogant crazy. I also like spontaneity. I don’t like dangerous things though or reckless abandon (ha now that is a total lie).


This shirt deserves an award and so do I for hanging on to it for so many years. It was my everything shirt, longboarding in to town, wearing a black string bikini top beneath this. Trish called me Demi Moore when they’d watch me go down hills with Zach, I was tanned and toned and so very cray. I was freshly single.

This shirt is made of a fine mesh material and is a bit big on me, my mom’s stacked and buys XL’s plus I’m lean so it’s a moveable breathable all-season all-purpose shirt I’d fling over my dripping sweaty body before heading in to the King’s Arms pub, the men on the patio would love it. There were no other me’s in this town, black haired young not giving a fuck. It was one of the best times in my life. I eventually met more people but that’s another story.

My dad tells me about the time he was 17 and had the house to himself for two weeks while his parents went to England ha ha way to go Duncs. Welsh story telling plus the best stories told be people who consider themselves hilarious, I will never tire of talking to my dad. Hi dad! Thanks for the good times dude.

Anyhow, this shirt transports me through time like the traveling pants I never saw those movies but I am sure they were something like this except starring Ugly Betty (who didn’t want to do the sequel yeah no shit) and other different sized chicks sharing a pair of mom jeans, uhh, I’ll pass.

Clothing helps me remember events in my life and obvi I am a keeper and avid documenter of time so these keepsakes I value and treasure plus remind me of happy times. The end. No just kidding it is never the end lol.

I have a strong face so what. It always looks different, I have a variety of looks. I am going to be the next biggest male model just you wait and see. Who was I joking that to about lately, I think Lucas. I like this shirt also because it’s my sleeper shirt. People think I am less of a degenerate when i put it on. If you see me sporting collars EVER it’s because I am probably hung out of my mind, the world is definitely spinning and you should probably steer clear because I’m biohazardly fuming booze clouds. KIDDING relax. How come Bukowski can write this junk and everybody laughs but when I do it you cringe? I thought you wanted writing? Sorry I don’t know anything about My Little Pony for you try another stupid blog.

This hair ruled.

Not giving in to bangs I won’t!

I am searching for a specific picture of myself in this shirt so don’t mind the memory lane treasures.

No one was blogging like this back then really. I was so alone.

That shirt is by GSUS. One of the most expensive shirts I bought for myself, kind of a retarded shirt right. This was an interesting evening. A female cop stripper arrived for a kid turning 19, hilarious. This mansion had a circle fountain in the front fucking driveway. I swam in the pool, the older daughter (and sister) to the bday kid was on house arrest for beating up a girl I believe. All these rich kids were abandoned in their palace sized mansions by their parents who were always away, at work or holiday. I am writing about this period of my life and the title of this post will be the name of the book. I met another girl at this party who was about to be doing time for her bf because he already had a charge against him I was like what that’s so dumb. A lot of trash hung around a lot of the high rollin’ kids, I was witness and spectator to the lives of these snobby self entitled degenerates and they all treated me like, well various ways. The girls were all blonde and despised me, I learned about cattiness and mean girl world, luxury cars, you name it. It was awesome and gruesome.

I smoked back then. I took pictures of everything back then, people thought I was weird and I thought they were stupid, not capitalizing on their time and life experiences by capturing moments and exploiting them. I had all my hipstery skater shoes and stuff arranged asunder and while photographing this shit I said one day I’ll have product placement endorsements in the form of photos on my blog and amongst the scatter of objects d’art will be a soda can and I’ll get paid to have that in there and that is how I will make my living. I knew it would take years for the internet and blogging to evolve before this could or would happen. And I was right. Nothing tastes as good as being skinny or being right feels.

And now I’m 400 years old and still poor help me lol that’s a Kristin Wiig Bridesmaids rip off SORRY!

Still trying to find this stupid photo in my archives blast!

See, there’s that Scarface fountain. All this crap over a shirt. I cannot let things go. You can compare this photo with the ones at the top if you are bored to compare my face now and then.

I signed and sold these to a fan years ago woah time warp. She sent me photos of her wearing them. The internet rules!

Oh were your ears burning ol Longy? Noel told me years ago that longboarders were all jock poseurs, even back then in 2003 and now it’s 2012 and kids are still getting them like they’re the brand new thing to have, every summer I am amazed more and more the twerps blasting around on them and of fucking course in my head I am going FIRST!!!

Smoking is gross but you look so damn cute and cool doing it but only if you are 20. Jules do NOT smoke!

My dad shopped here as a kid, Bong’s variety is not only a web viral jokes sensayshe but it is a historical White family landmark too.

This house is gone. It’s bulldozed and now a McMansion. Sigh. I am glad for these photos. My grandparents had Scottish dancing club meeting/parties here, they founded that club.

Someone made fun of this wal-mart tank anonymously on my blog, someone in Oakville no doubt haha classist snots. This was a sleeping shirt my mom disposed of to me. I was offended. We lived in a well-to-do area of posh old Oakville but still the class of rank and wealth whatever, the haves definitely stood out.

And my body was pretty hot. My bf’s mom said the girls were mean to me because I was skinny. But they were all skinny too, it didn’t make any sense. I sat there like Rainman considering it and she said yes, yes that IS why. Okay then.

Look, I’ve even gone as far ugly as this so I know to be thankful for when you’re up in the looks department.

Sweet found it! God, it wasn’t even worth it my face is cut off.

Do not try this at home: sit ups + red wine + hot sauce. I say no more.

Oh my god more animals please.

Dorky shoes butterfly time.

Pumped for summer like an HJ.

What adventures will we get up to this year?

Apparently my body is unremarkable. The fact that you felt the need to say that proves that it isn’t.

Time to give my hair some therapy hairapy. I have Mythic Oil for that.

I should go get a real tan.

Am I a fool to stop being platinum? Why does it feel like giving up, even just to add a teeny tint. I should focus on world peace instead. Okay I will if I have extra time, we’ll see. Wednesday you are beautiful!


ps. don’t forget lifestyle bloggers dominate so nothing I blog is cray.