I laughed I sighed

Hi you. Get ready for your Rayminjections but do yourself a flavour first, put this on and don’t stop it’s what I’m listening to as I “blog” in my cold ass room.

El Superbo.

Ps. here is the original of the above instagram selfie of myselfie. My hair is longer than instagram can handle. A daily self-confirmation that cannot be stopped.

And there’s another cos who doesn’t blast off millions while they’re at it. Speaking of dipshits, this made me laugh in the shower last night.

I love them. Hate love but mostly, love-love. Anyone who doesn’t get behind the Kardash is just kind of a twat, in such that they cannot appreciate a massive part of culture. Snipe all you like but they’re amusing and intelligent opportunistic rich as hell people. People make nasty comments to me all the time about my selfie-ing, but does it stop me? Nope. I am eccentric. I entertain. I will die if I do not get the last word always. I am always reflecting and probably suffer from the same self-obsession that celebrities do except I am not famous. As much. And I will be the first to sit on that grenade for the self-obsessed generation I have lead and be all self-aware about it. I know I don’t always get it right and thanks for not making fun of me to my face :). I hold many beliefs and I stand by what I do. I am going to be giving a talk about this to a bloody Arts Council. It’s my Tom Cruise Magnolia motivational speaky “moment”. Okay next slide please.

What is and isn’t inappropriate? Should we stop? Should we “just stop”? Probably, but sometimes I think it’s ok to steal a moment for yourself and do what you want with it. I mean, I could be studying neuroscience instead of obsessively tracking the aging of my face daily. There is some part of me, a hope, that will never die. You call it narcissism, I call it hope. Beneath ten leagues of delusion.

ANYWAY. Winter! Great times! I spoke to the guy who is doing the translations for the upcoming Kerouac book and told him we were related, we had a cool talk. The power of the internet can connect people like that. My friend sent this toronto star article, I skimmed it, see the pic of the guy who even looks like Jack Kerouac, find him on twitter and bing bang bong besties. I am an author without a book. I hate myself everyday about this. I may have 15 years of blogging behind me and a kajillion words of prose, but not the book I have always wanted so I am glad to have the inspiration kicked back into me again thank fucking fuck. Yes true I have released two books before previously but you know what I mean. It’s happening.

I’m also not drinking again and with the magical glee speedbump of the holidays not being around to distract from the crushing boredom sobriety makes it a wee more challenging in that I am also restricting carbs (I only ate the innards of that bath sandwich. Bathwich) and also restricting sugar. So I am way more on edge. GAH WHAT WAS THAT. Day 6. IF I don’t give in and booze tonight. I super hope I don’t because I need to be a rake for next week’s screen test.

Baby Spice hair. Baby Spice adult. I know many other arrested development adults I’ll have you know!!

Bf asked if I wanted this or to take it down he doesn’t really like it which is funny to me why someone would hang something they weren’t into.

I don’t shave at bf’s cos I haven’t brought a razer over yet. It’s not like in Survivor how they mysteriously maintain it for you.

Day 3 or 4 I forget. Passed on getting a bottle of ginger beer, no mo sugar, sugar. I would never go to the trouble of cooking up a mocktail, pahaha ridiculous what’s the point?

It’s too easy to just be “sort of” in shape and be happy about it but then it gets real and you’re scrambling to catch up. Always keep the goal in front of you. Stay motivated. Think about shit like Rihanna or Taylor Swift.

He said I looked pretty with my hair all over my face like this I had no idea I thought I just looked like a scruff.

Been catching lots of icy sunsets and what not.

The fish was amazing and light. Basa fish. The kale was boring and sloppy buttery whatever just trying to be healthy it can’t always be disco jazz in your mouth.

I am nail obsessed right now on top of body obsessed. I really want my nails to be talons for next week.

Good potatoes I only had a fraction of this pile. Sad face.

Day 6 is kinda like this haha. Watched it the other night for my 3rd time. If I like a movie I watch the shit out of it.

I kind of look like that basket case chick from the breakfast club Ally Sheedy?

oh stop don’t be jel you love it.

I’ll dump my purse upside down surrrrrrrrrrrre.

Hipster peasant breakfast.

I just used a pinch of bread to avoid getting a full blown headache. This diet is actually working so whatever nag me all you want.

I will be 32 in 3 months. Less than. BARF!!!!!!! :( haha jk. I can deal. Just a little. Bf calls me forever 31 and teases me all the time because he is jealous he isn’t a young girl in his thirties egoboost. I really don’t care. Life is all about embracing each new year and age head-on and being like okay, I gotta try that number out now see what that’s all about. Maybe it’s about Botox.

When one is faced with a difficult decision or choice in their life that might bring a lot of negativity but also great reward, one should always consult the mentors at reach in said person’s life to gain insight. Basically long story short, humble brag name drop I got famous friends who give me advice behind the scenes and it’s very empowering and surreal to hear from them what they have to say on certain Raymbo matters to be. Part of it doesn’t feel real. Maybe I am having a 30’s meltdown I don’t know. Infinitely soul searching it always seems.

I consider myself to be a brave individual who is also guarded and uncertain. I think the truly succesful people are those who are born knowing what they want and going for it. Never hesitating, and I try to rememer to be that kind of person as often as I can.

Time to wrap it up. Band rehearsal tomorrow. Have a nice night!