SHOOOOKKKKKK

Hey guys!

What can I say other than I blew it this summer in terms of being an ultra prolific bloggess. Just been way to busy work training and in my spare time doing my other gigs and also when you feel the eyes of the man on yuh you kinda feel majorly paranoid about bathing suit selfies and megalomaniac twitter rants etc. I’ve also got a few client-owed blog features that makes me avoid this place like the plague BUT you guys sure don’t and it weighs heavily on my soul. When a writer isn’t writing they’re typically fighting some internal/external battle elsewhere. This channel has become a reflection of everything about me. What I say, what I don’t say. I get repulsed by people often and I feel the need to choke their means of finding shit out about me. Sometimes you feel like being silent, going dark, for many days at a time until you feel your foe can’t find or hurt you. Then so many days pass and you’re like what does it matter if I wait more days just to remind people about my favourite colour and things to do again?

A lot of soul searching in terms of mild panic lately, can I do this, or that? What should I be doing with my life because if I keep doing x, y and z, I am going to be awfully unhappy for a long time. I think we always know what’s good for us and when the temporary solution band-aid must be ripped.

For me, it’s always writing and creating but when too much time passes I start to feel dead. Over. An over-achiever going under. I haven’t put in enough of the work in this stage of the process. My agent forgot about me. As I sit down to write this blog post right now I finally feel free and released, silly. It always comes back to you. You don’t need to have complete joy in your life to write an airy-fairy blog post. You don’t need a theme always maybe just a dream and a scream. If you’re good, you will always be good at it just be patient and wait until your laptop is fixed again haha.

The colder weather helps inspire me as it affects my moods and when the moods are ignited, out comes the crap from my head. Oh the feelings they’re just everywhere.

Wahhh wahh okay I’m done lets change gears now and go through some pics, kay?

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

Ha ha just one more of my new glasses (thanks Julian <3). Need to utilizie the instagram embed code feature more often it's such a time saver. Other (greats) bloggers I have seen complain about how hard it is to blog now. It's not just me. We have become spoiled on the immediacey of social so much so that blogging IS actually a chore. I use to be so passionate about sitting down for a good write. Prepare my coffee and do all my rituals then sit down FOR HOURS. I am not that person anymore. I am quite hyper-active despite bitching about never getting to do "anything for myself ever!" LOL.

I met Ava at last. My brother kept telling me how she looked like me and reminded me of him and we’ve been so busy this summer I carried a secret guilt cloud about seeing her. Then my facebook feed became about babies and DO YOU WANT TO HAVE ONE SOME DAY LAUREN? Ha it’s cool it’s cool but there’s no way I coul afford one right now. Nah I don’t feel THE SURRMOUNTING PRESSURE at all. I mean I am only 33 not like I have a CLOSING WINDOW or anything. Anyway. Ava blew my mind. I cried twice about the emotions I’d feel about it while brushing my hair I can’t remember what we did the night before… the month has been a blur but I know we are always short on time and rushed and frantic we have eight million different jobs and tasks to take care of all the time it seems so as I got ready I was stressed (as usual) to get my mother’s Happy Juice cleanse in time and coordinate being on the road blah blah.

I biked to Sugar Beach and Julian met me after his sound engineer session. He is working on his next greatest hit right now it’s truly amazing (I get to sing on it). We listened to the skeleton of the track over and over again. I asked him if he knew who Gentleman Reg was when he showed up and he was like yeah!? I go he is sitting right THERE. I watched him from behind for about an hour sitting and reading in front of me and kept it a special secret treat for Julian to approach and now they’re email buddies. Reg came over to meet me we have met many times over my tenure “in the scene” in the city of Toronto but it was nice to see him still kicking around. I do not have the balls to approach notables in Toronto. We’re not supposed to acknowledge celebs here for some reason. I am proud that Julian breaks down social barriers like that, went on over and sat down with him and I took photos. I believe it can be very isolating and lonely in Toronto in this respect. I know I was hella lonely the hour or two while I waited. A few times some old man or other would say something funny to me but for the most part no one talks in Toronto. There is a lot about Toronto I hate. There is always a possibily for a shitty interaction. I keep it nice bright and cheery. When not being insanely shy. Always approachable.

Hi Reg!

Sugar Beach is a lovely place about Toronto though. Staying in the liiiight. Also the Woodbine bike path I took there through the beaches and all that crap it was mega-mysterious, exhilarating and I wanna do it again asap.

I took this to show Julian what it looked like (first timer) and he asked why we hadn’t been there all summer (it rules) I was like, uh, I thought you hated beaches? No. Not THIS beach. Okay well next time I will have a look at my crystal ball and have that known already for you haha.

I’ve lost 5lbs since this photo was taken. Like that bruise? Renovations summer house bit me I clipped a table don’t forget I am 1. an amazon crashing through life and 2. clumsy af. Also the lights weren’t on. It’s almost gone now anyway. I have no idea what the weird alien one down the middle of my thigh is though I might need to start a bruise journal again. I wore those neon shorts to be seen and the bathingsuit for the sweat. First time ever wearing a helmet (thank you Corena!) I cannot believe I made it this far biking in the city without one like a grandfathered out NHL rule. I felt like 22 Jump Street in that helmet in a good way.

I wore these nike athletic capris to cover my bruise/to look trim for Nana’s and the dainty shirt to lady it up and it worked like a charm. Thank you for the shirt mom. See how easily I just said thank you just now.

And the boys finally met it went swimmingly. Shawn laughed at how Julian and I interact together. Nana loves Julian blah blah etc.

I had a vision and a concept for this. I think it came out a little forced though ahah.

Ava is a stunning baby and her temperament is perfect.

She would not take her eyes off me which I of course loved. It’s probably because my hair is extremely yellow and it’s hard not to look at me cos you’re like WTF is that? She liked Julian too so cute I die.

No caption necessary. This shirt is the gift that keeps on giving. Backstory. It comes from Forever 21 a few years ago and I bought it in the throes of some arrested developmental delusional bliss or other and it still looks good on me. Corena gave me an “I taste as good as I look” or something like that tshirt bahahha.

Can only be busted out on special occasions. Like going to shoppers.

Was getting sick of swooping my roots over. I love Donna Dolphy so much. I had to fight her on not cutting my hair. It was a tough battle but I conquered. Just say no to scissors.

It’s a bit less brassy now too me likey. I wanna keep it multi-tonal and healthy as possible which is why I let it grow out this summer like a beach rat. If you’re confident you can make any look work but I’d like less hassle and worry about it nahmean. Donna Dolphy Yorkville Salon said I am not like those princess major upkeep girls I am low-key that’s why she’s down to work with me which reminds me I am going to start blogging for her too. Oh the list grows lol.

Wow it got dark. I got used to it and didn’t mind. lemme know if you need hair help I’ll set you up with Donna nahhmean?

Julian hung with me this day bless his heart salon visits are long af. He got to see how ugly we look during the process he kept trying to take pics ughhhh. Donna will fix his hair next.

The closest I will ever come to playing pokemon go is wearing this hat. Maybe if I stole it too eh. I look good in hats not gunna lie. Let me know if you need a list of other things I look good in.

This dresser is gone now I miss it already. Our room is truly bohemme right now.

Julian had a show somewhere in all of this mess. Hi Heather! thanks to all of you who came out, it was noted and appreciated. Booking a live music show in August is sign a deal with the stressed out af devil. it’s a month when no one is really around it’s like herding cats.

Beach date with Tash and her kid and the pugs was fun and hilarious.

I have run outta time but this has been great. Check in later with more adventures soon promise xoxo.

elaborate stupid things

Adding the title of this blog post to the resume of my life as I have dedicated much of it to exactly that and I am still standing bruh. Now here’s some things from said life. Hold on tight y’allready made it through the cold open. Don’t get me started on comedy. Every sentence that comes out of my mouth is either a punchline or preamble to something (I find) hilarious. I am getting better. The key is to remember your material.

Mom stayed with us for a week and we all survived. Hey man I ain’t saying I am innocent either just saying is all. This is from Canada Day. We went to Woodbine beach after for the free concert and shenanigans in the beer garden with our roommate plus mom oh it was a time. Living in the beaches is ridonkulous. I will look back on this summer and cry whistfully into the wind. As much as I dig moving forward if I look back at all the amazing shit I have done in my life too much stacked together without enjoying those moments. When I look at skyporn cloud pictures from kew beach over winter I will explode. I will just explode.

Sushi/sashimi the other night. They forgot a roll we were like yes we want it. We ordered pizza later on at night cos we were still fung lol.

Canada Day. What’s in the baaaaag man.

Did your head explode? Good. This is Fella. We are bonding now. The little fart has my heart.

Taking him to the vet was a trip. A sweaty, eating my hair while my shorts were falling down and walking in the wrong direction of where the vet is -trip.

My face has been breaking out because I am aging backward in time. You have to have popeye’s at least once in your lifetime right. With gravy and biscuits, dirty rice and macaroni ahh gad the shame the delicious shame.

Starting the ol diet off with a bang. No more deep fried foods diet lol.

We walk as much as I try and force us to. We are living in paradise FOMO BRO. Thank God we don’t Pokemon Go. Not to be a hater but we have enough things in our life.

This guy had this house built on kew gardens property for his homegirl when they got married to keep her close and happy. Lucky chick. I read the plaque while drunken lawnbowler preps sauntered by me, rejected from the steamwhistle short bus (it was full). Could tell they were embarrassed because it happened right in front of me. One calls out, “claaaaassic” both in ivy league sweaters tied around their shoulders. I fucking love the beach for reasons exactly like this. So I sped up to walk ahead and let them bro it out alone up to Queen and a patio to continue getting blasticated but then they caught up to me reading this plaque. I must have read that plaque 4 times before I was able to retain any of the information written on it. Then another prep threesome walked by I could feel their eyes all over me. So much awkward loud silence like, I should have been HEY LEMME READ THIS TO Y’ALL AS YOU WALK UP THE STREET NOW. My problem is I size people up too quickly and then, I hate them. I had seen the gf ignoring the bf while on her phone and snapchatting her drunken mother riding around in circles on their bicycle. The bf had seen me note ALL of this. So in my head we had this, again, awkward knowing secret together. I bumped into them one more time as they headed into a bar when I noticed they were all wearing identical khaki pants and white buttoned shirts. Themewear for the lawn bowling club’s rager. Aren’t you glad I share things?

I really do love it here. It’s calm. Fabulously. I read alone on the beach. Not for long. I am too hyper and ADD but the whole process of packing a backpack, hitting some shops then reading til it’s dark while I get eaten to death by mosquitos forces me to slow down. It clears my head. I get lonely but I like it. To a point.

Julian Bachlow has been getting a lot of acting gigs lately it’s impressive. Some days are long shoots so we don’t see each other as much. Gives me time to reflect and to miss him.

Love this little nook we happened upon one day. It changes too. New things appear or leave.

Very The Friendly Giant.

Went to Fat Bastard burrito Saturday night. Everywhere we go it’s like performance art lol.

I know why it’s called fat bastard burrito though. Get a small. It’s gigantic. I ate it again on Sunday.

I had the butter chicken. Phenom. With noodles. It blew my mind.

Before we hit the road selfie.

Feeling this Beck jam big rn btw.

What should we call our variety show?

We watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High the other night. It is still amazebaaaalls. Sorry to bring amazeballs back. It’s crazy the cameos in it.

Super beached out af like it’s raining desperate.

My nails are naked rn about to paint them after this post or keep them natch. We will see.

What happened in Nice today…I feel like a dick writing this post. I began this post earlier then we went out in our “super ultra safe neighbourhood” and came home to the news. I kept running out to the porch to tell everyone because I am a disaster junky like that but also I have been desperate to write a blog post for days and keep getting sidetracked and this is like putting my foot down I AM DOING THIS and I am writing this fuck sake. It just feels like it’s raining bad shit all around us so I like to appreciate what I have and those I love. Cut the shit and get on with it.

I made him this bacon bagel sandwich with lettuce from the garden and tomato. It was out of control excellent.

Little pug pug made it to the big times. Everyone died when they saw him at the vet now I know why dog people like being dog people because they get to feel like the popular girl ALL the time it was like Jesus ENOUGH jk we love it I have stories of dog beach adventures man let me tell you life is good sometimes.

Have to get into my fancier gear once in awhile to remember that I still do that sometimes.

Someone is babysitting him for a few days this picture just tore my heart to shreds.

If this bridge could talk. Took Julian on a tour of my old hood. It feels like you know my life because everything that has ever happened to me in this park comes flooding back.. but how could you know. Anyway it was a trip. It was like I was just there yesterday. We off-roaded it into the jungle and my legs are all scratched up for it. Julian loved it… mom not so much. It has overgrown a lot in a decade and then some haha.

It was a tour of Lauren. I brought them to a cemetery in Streetsville. A friend of mine is buried here. We made friends with this cat who fell in love with us and followed us out of the cemetery and then my heart broke some more. I had a doctor’s appt in ‘sauga is why we were all there togeths.

I can’t wait to find my belt.

I can tell you a lot of stories about the Credit River. Involving me and/or others, the police, bush parties, fires, river walking, setting shit on fire, sneaking out at night. Forest sex. Crazy bananas things. What is this our Texas? Well, for a time maybe so, maybe so.

Falconer Drive is totes diffskies now. Shit of legend. Curfews at night lol.

Kay back to Toronto now. La la land. I see things you would not believe there is even a beaches mascot now, a dog, a guy in a dog mascot costume. Brilliant.

And this!

Losing steam here now people. Yeah it’s snack time.

All about dat neon tho.

I made a new friend one afternoon. We laughed and shared the best stories, totally vibed and took each other on a social adventure I could feel Don’s happiness as he told me about his grandmother, who championed him when he smiled on the inside and outside as he spoke. He blew my mind with some real talk perhaps too controversial for my blog but when he left he said he really enjoyed talking to me. I wished Julian was there to meet him.

Hahah what’s with all the emo pictures I will try to switch it up guys swear.

Your life is a piece of work and yes it’s work but it’s a piece of artwork so design it how you like share it how you want tell it how you feel make it magic make it real.

If you venture into this dog park you can pretend you are on another planet if you wanted to a little Jurrasic park here and The Martian there, nah bruh?

I watched the storm roll in wondering if it was a storm. Rolling in. Baha. Then I ran home in the lightning scared out of my mind. Lightning storms um nope. All the rain storms lately are cool it’s SO HOT the planet is like “time to explode into rain mawfuck burst inna rain son!”

I look like a bohemian slob most days so the one or two days I make effort I do the selfie thing so these are my faux apologies.

Sleeping on our new mattress on the floor has been FUN/NY. Okay I will tell ONE embarrassing story. Not really embarrassing at all but like, we were drunkies after sushi and needed more food so ordered pizza but we were rolling around on this frigging thing and like basically already on the floor..and drunk with the giggles. We laugh at our bullshit a lot at least. Wow cool story, nice and short.

Beginning of the mural. Maybe I will tackle it tomorrow.

Doing starry night has made me keen on researching Van Gogh. Quite the guy.

Oh look. MORE pictures of me. LOL.

Tash and I hit up Brass Vixens last week as well. Going for another class real soon. Love it.

Went to the Drive-in. A summer bucket list must! okay guys time to irl so ttyl xo rlw!

Ps. enjoy our soulful rap hook btw!

blog dj

Hey pals. Look I selfie stick now it’s the latest new thing. A girl I know dropped her Iphone while on top of a volcano on her destination wedding trip recently and I think about that each time I use it. Yikes.

This blog post is going to be about THE LAST FEW WEEKS OF MY LIFE.

Woah that sounds dark *knocks on wood*. THE LAST FEW WEEKS OF MY LIFE. SHIT I DONE THE LAST FEW WEEKS. Good and good lets look.

Love this ring. It’s Medeival kinda and well made. Do you know the kind of stone it is? We went to a church sale. Got a good deal on my finds I did. Julian has the other ring I got it’s too big afterall. The pair compliment each other.

I have her email I must write to her before I lose the card.

We had dinner at a nice place in an undisclosed location. Post bday hangover thing. I dressed like a lion tamer four year old.

I have no idea how to caption this @julianbachlow

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

Julian says I can’t do nudes anymore and if I do he’s going to do them too until I stop it. HAhahaha. One day I will (re)-tell you the story of how we met years ago. It’s actually in my blog archive six years back hint for the psychos/hardcores who just must know.

My caesar baby.

Dinner times!

SO good. Heavenly.

Don’t be a champagne snob it was perfs.

His.

Butter chicken. Next time I would just order this so I can eat it all in one sitting. Date night is great night. As long as you restrict in between WHICH I haven’t at all except for when in the city. Whatevs just enjoy life.

We bought that ball when we went on an art supply bender at Michaels. Which reminds me of a piece I need to write about them. Note to self for later.

Julian’s 30th BDay party. We are the party. Brett came by too. It stormed crazy all night long and the lights would go out it was exhilarating a bit.

Ah derps. Earlier that day we went to the Mandarin and had a walk which Julian’s Dad recorded of all of us in High DEF 3D and we watched it the other day it’s hysterical af I can’t even begin to describe it LOL.

Dirty 30 @julianbachlow wet chair mandarin buffet and new friends.

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

Fellow early bird Mandarin diners like us too. They are like 90 years old a piece (about). Merv stopped us for a chat on our way out adorb and pervy. Merv the perv ftw! Gord, Merv and John. When you are zany in love your energy spreads like wildfire. They asked who’s bday it was and I said Julian’s, he’s 30. They gab for a bit and then I go and I am 33 all proud af and that gave Merv the thrill of a lifetime. He repeated it many times afterward, “you’re 33. So, you’re thirty threeee eh.”

New show #SUPERMODEL MARKET @julianbachlow @raymitheminx pose-off Aisle 5.

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

Our other bestie is the girl at the supermarket and we show her what we plan to eat that night and the wine to go with it or caesars. She must be bored out of her mind and we’re the perfect storm for that. She’s like how were your puffs last night I am like oh we destroyed them you know it! Totally this close to asking her to hang out but will leave the two worlds separated probably for the best.

We went to a stag n doe one night in the pouring rain and predictably got obliterated and later on my purse was attacked by a spraypaint stenciling monster. It looks like something from a Destiny’s Child music video. In case you are wondering that means it is tacky oh well what me worry. I hate this purse to be honest it’s so small I have to carry my phone alongside it if I want it to close if I have too many other things in there. Like I have to choose between what is really necessary to take with and I am a hoarder so therfore this teeny purse blows. Will be good for a cocktail gala I will never be invited to plus it’s no longer black so fail fail fail like a whale.

I am pretty sure I will survive.

That is some 30th Birthday look eh. He still gets carded for smokes. And still smokes.

Enjoyed this windy walk my dress flew all over the place and I was sweltering like a mennonite in my black tights. I am so pale right now if it wasn’t a family walk I would have removed stockings.

Road cheese emergency. Almost as good as road head. Wait a minute. Tons better than muahaha.

I love this set-up.

lul.

I got Kanye dissed. I prevailed with this treasure for you.

We have been hotel life for a bit here and there. “It is neat”.

<3.

June 6th at The Horseshoe. You will hear something you have never heard before and see magical things. It’s Shoeless Monday (FREE AF) it’ll be a party come dance.

SHOW FLYER THERE YOU GO YO. Plus soundcloud listen to him so talented.

Shrug.

I also went golfing. There will be a whole Rayme Toronto post on that. I smashed those balls brah I am good at golf and athletic, competitive. Give me a thing and I will do it.

It was nice to see another lifer too, a blog diva such as myself wedding girl .ca I think? Don’t worry like I said full post later on just relax okay.

Then I was feeling myself. Generally I am self conscious of my looks and feeling fugly, like a scruff. When I am on fleek I celebrate that so just shoosh ya haters.

I wasn’t done yet though.

Some more highlights.

FO’ SALE. The wolf looks like this now:

Wolfy watches you. Make an offer I cannot refuse #starvingartist.

Aerial fitness class taught by Shannon yesterday on Yonge. Loved it.

My uniform. Reject shirt the shoes are wrong LOL!

I’ve got one left of these numbers, this one no longer looks like this as I added layers of gold and whatever to it who even knows.

There we go the one on the right is avail. The middle is for my bro’s daughter who will be due in…June? The one on the left is going to Nawlins. I have a lot of paintings to ship actually. Do whatever you can on the side to make money am I right am I right? I am right.

The weather was great this day. There is just something about sun. Well. A lot of things but you know what I mean. IT IS MAGIC FROM THE SKY.

I am so Justin Bieber. Don’t hate me cos ya ain’t me.

(I will never say that term again here promies). OMG promies is my new thing now though. I am so Raymazing. I mean. Grateful for my mind. Sometimes it works against me and sometimes it is fine.

Buttons and teddy bears for the baby girl I should have gotten a bow stencil. Stenciling is fun. I killed the can of pink spraypaint.

I am cool. This place is awesome actually.

Guess who is a hypocrite secretly drinking boxed water like a douchebag for weeks meow ha ha!

These guys. Will be chillin in BTown this long weekend. Should be purty tight. AND the Hammer!

Here I am looking juicy picking up my glasses then Julian wanted a pair.

The power was going out one night so then we were forced to all talk to each other once my laptop died and our wine dance party was over LOL and I learned some truly interesting things. There is always wildlife and creatures roaming the property and howling winds it gets spooky.

Lana had an art show at Paletta mansion I finally got to see the inside of it. I have spent a lot of times on the grounds in the park generally loitering and just mooning about in the flowers and forest. I know the history it’s kinda Gatsby-esque in an extremely Ontario/Hamilton steel fires burning across the water fashion.

Just you know, more of my giftedness.

I ate one. I had to could not resist and I have zero shame. The middle had something in it I forget. Delicious though.

Another lovely day spent on Queen west.

I should not have looked at this.

Love embedding tweets what a time saver. I uploaded all of these for the most part to flickr anyway. This catched the sun and burns birght gold and looks totally normal girly cute not-intense when not lit up.

FEEL SELF SHOW SELF.

Julian collects lot sof weird masks accessories and disguises like me.

Catching the last bit of sun. It has been a long winter.

Stagg chili philly cream cheese layered dip I added mushrooms and green onions too. Seen seen. Steph’s superbowl chili recipe. You throw the tin away when done.

I have gained weight but am quickly getting back in shape again so it doesn’t really matter now does it. I am a foodie it is what I do!

We showed up to Ukranian Easter at his relatives with my hair like this and Julian’s Dad was all oh my god get that shit out of your hair what!??! HAhaha. That means he liked it.

I tried blood sausage. Omg whyyy???? It tastes like it sounds and looks.

The moment my pizza got smushed at that wrestling party at Super Wonder Gallery I have a lot of crap to catch up on.

Absolutely hilarious though. We partied with all the wrestler actors backstage afterward.

I just love to win.

A video posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

I am a ham.

Girl trying to get the most attention at the art show #outfit.

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

My outfit.

OMG there is me LOL. This was the most hilarious night ever I did not stop laughing for 3 hours straight. I will write about it later I promies.

PROFESSIONAL was his name and people were just arbitrarily yelling it out. I could not stop laughing at all.

This past Monday.

Next level.

I went for wings dressed like that. FABULOUS.

Buy this giant lampshadelier!

In real life you need to see it to take in the awesome of its grandness. It is sister to a bunch like it in a Mexican resto in the Distillery District. Make an offer!

Dying to know what happened here.

New twerk pants thank you Shannon.

Before Aerial class yesterday we did Ass Kick. I am loving these Brass Vixens classes big time. It’s a lifestyle, social club and good routine to get into. Not to mention fun. There are three BrassVixens locations in Toronto and one in Mississauga.

It’s a zen-like space in there. Good to shut the world out in.

Once I get pics of each class I take I can finally do the full classes. I am OCD plus abide by my own Raymism motto. PEOPLE DON’T KNOW IF YOU DON’T SHOW. There are a lot of life moments I use to cover each bit of incessantly and there’s just so much life that I live these days I cannot even begin to capture it all. I still have the urge and I still make the effort but just lesser and, it irks me. #blogshame.

Lunch reward is gangster. I am happy to be bonding with my buddy Shannon lately. It’s fun to make plans together. I am one of those needs things to look forward to types. I think many people are.

Model practise @sarasaraduke dress to be seen out in an apple orchard very soon.

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

Aaaaand my new dress I finally tried on and we are done here for now folks thank the blog and goodnight!