my ears are tingling

Hey buddies!

I was just in the middle of writing some epic original song lyrics and aside from being pretty funny they’re pretty good. If you like simple rhyming verses, have a grade 1 reading level and even dr. seuss wouldn’t go there… but yeah, really off to a great start man!

I have decided to be more positive for the new year, more jokey all around and pack more meaning into every word that I type here. Burp. See! It’s working already, nothing but charm and humour from here on out despite my own daily secret insurmountable crushing stress and realisation that adulthood is nothing but managing multiple stressful entities at once, it’s all good people.

I think January has got to be the worst month ever. Followed by her awful sister, February. Then March when it is still cold and I turn a year older. April is pretty decent, then summer flits by and it’s pretty much Jamuary again. Yes I said Jamuary purposely.

Ugh I just dropped my phone and it did a cartwheel far away. A fart wheel far away.

Trying to keep my mind in a streak of rhyme so I can writey-write. Like Beck. or Buck 65. Lyricists and poets I don’t know why I stray from what comes naturally to me intellects and poetry. I think because out of context in social media it just appears crazy.

I just read the garbage I wrote yesterday that I call “a song”, which is when I started writing this post. Actually. Two yesterdays ago. It’s hard to tell the days apart around the holidays, each holidate falling midweek giving the feeling of a weekend but no, now it’s weekend again and look, another holiday, triple weekends speed bumped by actual weekends. Given the free-spirited timeline of a blog, where is even up anymore.

Okay I just SANG what I wrote to my bf and he was like it’s actually pretty good. So Jared and I will turn it into an actual something next time we Jamuary. See it’s catching on already

In bed last night I made up a new game called movie reciting from memory. Actually, it was called movie story time and my story was called The Shining. I retold the entire plot beginning with the fugly hot chick in her living room with her bowl cutted haired son to them driving up to the Grand Budapescht hotelesque quarters with scary ghost twins and naked scary old ladies in hotel rooms and the mind reading, ghost alcoholics bla blah you should try this game it’s pretty funny. Like drunk history. Watch those too. I kiboshed watching the actual shining because why would you watch actors portray your current stir crazy life? Pass. Yesterday was rough man! So long and boring and we drove each other nuts a little bit.

We made it to like 11 then snapped and went out to stand in the longest slowest line ever at shopper’s for this junk. If you eat smaller meals then you can substitute it with garbage like I do.

This is from Friday. There is a cute coffee shop on locke st here. Good coffee. Lots of hipster stuff. It’s got a bedford ave vibe.

With socially conscious kids in the naybe too.

And a pizza bar.

See how boring my life was before catwang.

I have exact pictures of myself like this at 24 years old, and younger. And older. Haha.

More NYE trickling in.

I’m going to catwang some boylord pics.

Like this one.

Or that.

Okay thanks bye bye enjoy your Sunday.


If ever bored off your tits you can check out my tumblr btw. Click iiiit.

Muse of the stars.

Hey guys, didja take yer joke pills today hopefully jesus -uck am I ever in a crabby mood. PMessy nahmean. And I super want a drink. I am at the point like why am I doing this. This sucks. Is boring. And so on. Plus Christmas is basically here which means Drinkmas.

It’s Day 13 of no drinking and I want a dark and stormy right fckn meow.

But then I looked in the mirror and was like hubba hubba. Just jay-kaying guys. How will I ever become friends with Gwyneth Paltrow if I drink. Bet she never lets her hair down or allows herself to be out of control like ever. Stringent chicks are so fascinating. Speaking of typecast people, Gwyn is one of those skinny broads in loose-fitting black lingerie proudly on gawky display in several of her flicks and you can only do that when you’re a beanbole and to be a beanpole you have to be majorly uptight. We have to make do with the bodies God gave us and if you’re flat then to pass as sexy you have to be coatrack thin. Or that’s what the sickness beauty perception states.

Smiling makes you look younger too. Fortunately more than half my bloggy life was devoted to neve smiling so I don’t have massive crow’s feet and laugh lines. All my lines are on my orehead from fucking around with my eyebrows and applying mascara EVERY DAY I am 100% going to get botox one day and have a forehead like a balloon.

I had a gap in my teeth as a kid and then one day it just closed, maybe when I was about twenty, but because of the gap when I smiled (when I was forced to) I never smiled with my teeth showing I hated my Madonna gap. Now I know the power of my teeth and flashing ‘em but you have to be careful and not overdo it because you can look like a game show host which I have on many occassions. Smiling smiling smiling, inside dying.

If I wrote a book like how I write these blog posts I’d have no recollection of what my book was about because I have absolutely no attention span and whatever I cared about last week is like ancient history in internet time.

Made this.

Sorry if you’re grossed out. Or tempted.

Reminds me of Fubar 2.

So glam.

Yep I still dress like Peter Pan.

This was yesterday. God I miss running. it’s just too cold and too much hassle.

Pumped about getting so much laundry done yesterday.

Still eating candy like crazy I think is turning us into monsters.

Keeping food as interesting as poss.

I have every intention to run again soon though, this headwrap is part of the plan. Today woulda been good too it’s kinda mild.

That’s enough for now. Have a great one.