Hold on folks cos it’s another fantastic dining with Raymeh Adventure. You will laugh, you will cry, you might even make a fist and shake it at the ceiling and go why? Why come Hello Kitty? This post is rated NC-17 except not really but in places where I tank just conjure up hugely offensive shit and leave me a garbage comment anyway, it’s what you’re good at. Kay thanks and remember, have fun!

Ahh I am hallucinating a charlie brown pig pen dust cloud above your head representing what is going on inside of it.

Duuuuuuuuuuhoye like my shirt? Called it!

We were very much despised sitting here and it didn’t take much. Sandy said sit wherever, there was no reserved sign on this table amongst the sea of reserved signs, all for one giant party of 22 (I counted) uptight white hipsters all wearing glasses. We would have had one less drink at the booth but their animosity needed punishment. Honestly it was super offensive watching them tattle on us, it took three people all standing there shooting dirty looks our way to decide it wasn’t worth asking us to move, just by-pass and rag on a server instead.

I know I am always the bad guy in the story of your life about me but I’m not. I have great life etiquette, I would hug a cactus even, and if I catch shittiness afoot I do something about that so I really don’t appreciate snide daggers when I am enjoying dinner out on a Saturday night after a long week of partying and sitting on my ass.

I get beef a lot, I get lustful stares often and jealousy cut eye. No it’s not that I am conceited, I know what slit eyes mean thank you and it’s not because I look ugly (old and used up looking or my outfit is cray), if one warrants a double-take whiplash and super (you think is) stealth all over squinty stare, it means you are doing it right. And if you get a version of this stare over and over and over and over and over again from various people in a room, it means you are sitting in the chosen spot and I can’t finish this joke. The point is, Teacher was getting steamed about it too and he has even less restaurant manners than I do AND is an educator with a real job not one of those fake internet jobs like the rest of us so he is a pretty good soundboard for invented paranoias I have regarding stares that come my way.

We had to keep eating because Sandy kept feeding us (delicious tequila shots) and I always had a vodka soda in my hand I think I lost five years off my life Saturday night. I think teacher and I were in a secret competition. I knew once we moved over to the bar it would be game on. Too bad karaoke has been moved to midnight (dumb move) there is no way this fish can drink or last that long.

This drink is majorly tart and sour. I asked if it was a sour drink after skimming (but not reading) the components, waitress said no. WRONG. Most Sourest EVER. Sour is a good appetite suppressant, no thanks I’m full on these sweet tarts I just drank. Acidic. I am not really a sweets fan. It’s made people want to secretly choke me when I decline dessert after (giant ones no less!) meals like honestly, more eating? If I ever show fat do you know how fast my detractors will laugh at me? When you become a blogger you hand in your being normal keys so bloggers-to-be beware. Your trash may even make the news. That’s it I am flushing everything from now on.

I thought that guy was security, I felt he ate like security, like a king like this is my domain and later I will be shoving drunk fucks out the door. I was probably wrong. I have been wrong a lot lately only thanks to the internet hatred I get everyone looks like my foe now, what’s the R+J quote, _____ can no longer tell friend from foe? For example, last night the second I arrived at 416 snack bar, very unnerved by all the attacks I received yesterday on top of some fam dramz. It definitely pours when it rains I’ll say but yeah a couple guys at the bar seemed to instantly recognize me and kept talking about me looking at me while I chatted to Liam and I was like they are SO definitely making fun of me right now. Then later on when we’re outside smoking he tries to join us and I had already pointed out to Angelo that those guys “were hating on me” it has escalated in my head now haha like they are already in the midst of tweeting mean shit @ me too but no, I was wrong. Dead wrong. Dude was straight up sweating your hero and Angelo mean girl ignored him and so everyone did and I felt bad and flattered simultaneously about it like a big secret giant jerk. I’m just too shy so I invent things. All bloggers are shy fucking losers so you have to be extra nice to us and approach us no matter how shy you think you are, you probably have a real job and therefore better social skills so don’t you dare tell me you’re more shy than I am.

I like this spot, too bad we couldn’t eat here.

This green polish is too dark, it makes me look too hard, I am too pale for the contrast so I’ll wait til summer to wear it again so the bottle needs a COMING SOON label on it. Glossy Box hooked me up with some new lacquer though, I really love it. I wonder if they sent my mom one too, mom call Nana and ask or she’s kept it for herself. Ooh they did, how precious of them. I’ll post about it later. I like getting in touch with my girly side because it makes me feel safe from mean people, like ew, I am floating in a cloud of whimsy and you are covered in vile excrement. Maybe I’ll use excrement in place of the S-word from now on. That’s something Jim Carrey would do.

This is torture!

I want you inside of me! That’s the same thing I screamed out when holding this item.

Way way way triple dog way, bland. More peppers, more goat cheese, not goat cheese whispers but goat cheese blobs. And the dip base, I dunno, it’s like, it gets worse the closer we get to the center so, that’s wrong. But I love taro chips, do not change those nor coating them with broiled orange cheese. Hands up if you say orange when someone asks you what kind of cheese was in your omelet? Orange means Kraft means cheddar. Cheddar is like the coca cola of cheese wow who’s all over the place today!

Attempting to hide nail chips by pressing them in to the glass.

I received the meanest comment while we were out too. You poisonous fuck bags will just not ever leave me alone. Honestly what do people want from me other than to be stoned (ahhaahahah that’s what I want too allow me to oblige you) and beaten or kill myself. Step out of the dark dudes, it’s kind of enough already don’t you think? I felt your cosmic pain, you were able to shroud me in evil yesterday and I got wicked skunked to deal with it all truth be told so thanks for the hangover but, I’d appreciate if we could move on from it and all apparent egregious horrible things I have done to offend you. I am so so very sorry I’m not perfect and don’t measure up to your amazingly high standards I can only hope to be better now moving forward so please accept this virtual pat on the back from me as an olive branch because Olive you. I love yew. Just kidding, die in a fire and go fuck yourself your abuse is sickening me and I’ve done nothing to deserve it. I am awesome therefore I am. I am awesome and your mean insults won’t make me un-awesome, maybe temporarily cray but I will still write hilarious things and have a hallmark infamous blog.

How does it feel knowing that your anonymous childish bashings are (purposely) affecting the mental well-being of a stranger who is only attempting to bust their own ass to be something in this shitty world, to better their own life? You are only making my Nicky Minaj complex grow. I picture myself in a state fair with my science project and the popular kids for some reason feel threatened and bully me to distract me from my own game and aspirations. Well I am not going to fall for it anymore. If I have to turn off comments entirely and lose my email address, I mean it. I seriously considered after my burlesque show to stop blogging for a week, but then I remembered my new blog design and thought well that is dumb. Then my rank too, that will plummet, but what is the solution here other than to give up and let worms think that a handful of them can outweigh the thousands of legit blog fans and friends. I just want a solution here and punishment to show that I mean business. You cannot treat people this way I don’t care how stupid you are. I do not do this to people and I ALLEGEDLY am the bad one here? Fuck you. Don’t you even feel the least bit ashamed? Well if you don’t it doesn’t matter because I am still better than you anyway so I automatically win not only by default, exception and rule. You are expecting me to believe that groups of people gather in homes and load up my blog and make fun of it together and that makes up the majority of my readership? Do you also know how flattering and revealing that is if it’s the truth too?

You know the second you dog me to a dude he only wants to (theoretically speaking) do me more and even if he’s siding with you out loud he isn’t in his head or in his pants. I don’t mean exclusively me either I mean in general any time a girl dogs another girl she paints that girl as sexier because she’s made her more special by singling her out and then attempting to discredit. It just blows up in your face, the dude will read my blog when you go to bed and then when you break up he’ll email me about how he was never allowed to read my blog. And then you end up stalking and trolling me. This blog has made everyone fight at some point in time. I can’t think of one other blog aside from my mother’s that has made such an effect on people or captured interest and while I know I am most definitely biased here but, I have just been privy to a lot over the course of a century of blogging and it’s really interesting when silent partners pop up and chime in their two cents over this girl called Raymi now hocking their merchandise. Ahh, the ever reluctant client. Ain’t that tha troof!

Not only am I not everybody’s cup of tea but I’m also NOT A FUCKIN’ CUP OF TEA either. Who or what I am has been going on for a long time and my traffic has been proving all my points for a long time, no matter how shocking or edgy or infuriating, numbers do not lie.

Ok I am bored now and attention span waning. I put my specs on to let those geeks know two could play at this game. I dismissed their giant baby actions being due to karaoke night but no, they all needed to sit on top of each other without any disconnecting tables for fear one gets sucked away in to a black hole of “we never even got to catch up and now we’re all going now boohoo” I do not understand people who need to sit to hang out. I love standing, you get to dominate and peacock feather display. Wallflowers sit and they certainly stare, I had to stop Teach from mouthing tough guy threats at them.

Slam dunk Sandy. Too bad this is the french copy or I would have orated it to the room. I can read french prettily actually so I should have done that. This is in the food and drink mag available at the lcbo. Sandy is a big deal! Now get on twitter.

She is a drink genius. We have a notorious black out drinking night I can’t believe I survived. I told her it was our one year anniversary soon (Will Munro’s bday I believe RIP) and she laughed. I had to bail on dodgeball the next day. I was in the middle of being suicidally heartbroken and hungover. I cried the entire day lying down in bed like a giant loser baby. Oh it was a good one. Then I slept on my face and hated being an adult. I’ll tell you the story about it sometime that you will no doubt grin like the Cheshire cat at my stupidity by.

Ha she said don’t show the name but look at how this girl spelled Neat. That’s so nete!

More eating to keep even with Sandy’s enabling. The sesame seed flatbread is tasty and I hate carbs, so plain typically and fattening.

You are what you eat and you match what you eat? I dung my knife on my glass to announce my nail polish matching spinach speech. Kidding. We wolfed this down instantly. Sandy had one too because it was her birthday. Just kidding it wasn’t.

Then someone said I looked 38 and used up and it was the last exhausticating straw for us we passed out in the living room at home and missed adventurehouse 1 year anniversary party at salvador darling. I could not party any more anyhow (because I am old and used up!) I sped walked home ahead of teacher to lose my mind on whoever ruined the rest of our night. I hate you all sincerely for doing this to my life. You did this to me. Do you want to see me in a body bag? STOP IT. If my face gets any skinnier it will be a giant triangle. Go hate on rapists instead.

He made me eat both scotch egg bennies mmmm delish and so rich and I am sure hella fattening too. What are they served in, haggis? I can’t (can) believe I went to snack bar twice in under a week. Or last Monday too, was it Monday? It could have been Wednesday. No wait, it was. Yes I am an idiot but that’s not important right now. What’s important is I really need to eat these again or order delivery I am starving. NO! I can’t. I have to keep trim til Saturday as well as my emu feather dress on Thursday so I have to stop blobbing food pictures now before I turn into a blob sorry that’s boring but I felt I covered a lot of territory today here so deal with it!

Oh dear.

This doesn’t count as food even though they’re apparently alive when eaten.

Shared another one of these last night. And the mini big macs they make too. You have to ask for those or know to though, teach is going to die of jealousy when I tell him about it maybe I will secretly record his reaction. He has new kids now and wanted to be a good boy and stay in (and probably talk to his secret girlfriend on the internet)(“are you staying in because you aren’t in love with me anymore?” baahaha what’s not to love I’m a theme park everyone loves them parks) and get rested lord knows I didn’t get home til super late. Ang is in town with his new gf and we LIT IT UP. Thanks for everything, bye! Don’t hate me because I’m stupid, hate me because you are. ps. this blog is for freaks and weirdos and degenerates, boys with immature senses of humour and girls that love it so stop expecting, more? Less?