relate relate retaliate

A friend of mine (a famous friend of mine therefore to be taken as gospel) said this photo was the best I’d ever taken. Interesting. Like magazine worthy. More interesting hmmm. Now is it the spring fever talking or? I feel as though I have done everything already before and everyone is sick and bored of me blah blah etc. people surprise you everyday.

Annoyed could not locate my bunny ears yesterday/all weekend.

A younger guy friend of mine who is strictly a platonic brotherly literary sort of guy who goes yolo sometimes, straight and narrow with demons, but yolo in him don’t forget – we get together and I update him on all the good backstory of my life, the shit I actually get up to. The last time we met he was like and why aren’t you sharing THIS instead? Now he calls for more narrative in this stupid blog SO with that in mind I will try to be more linear (now googling what linear means) with it and be less space cadet all over the place. More direction?

lin·e·ar
ˈlinēər/
adjective
adjective: linear

1.
arranged in or extending along a straight or nearly straight line.
“linear arrangements”
synonyms: straight, direct, undeviating, as straight as an arrow; sequential
“linear motion”
consisting of or predominantly formed using lines or outlines.
“simple linear designs”
involving one dimension only.
“linear elasticity”
Mathematics
able to be represented by a straight line on a graph; involving or exhibiting directly proportional change in two related quantities.
“linear functions”
2.
progressing from one stage to another in a single series of steps; sequential.
“a linear narrative”

Okay that makes sense and is what I thought I meant.

Needing to keep a bit of the mystique though because you just got to but will show nipples again perhaps. Have been blasting on twitter to see how they react and it’s odd that nudity is allowed there, refreshing. I feel like less family types eyes are on me there. But I will always be about the blog, there has to be reason to come here. This is why I am so annoying on all social feeds overposting because really it’s my inner blog screaming out, to blog, like I used to. It’s no longer immediate for me or easy like it used to be so it takes awhile. Writing a book is even harder yet.

In the meanwhile I dabble in sexy jobs. I AM A SEX SYMBOL O_O . just jk but you know, not really? What’s my end game? Jesus don’t ask me that. I am approaching crafting or constructing my sexual image and building it in the ways a porn star might do their online self-promo. I am going to join tinder again for the promo exposure not for the dating. Well if I meet someone awesome by accident then giddy-uppa.

What’s also great is constructive criticism you don’t have the time for. Oh my god good grief. Yeah I get it I look hotter more casual-like in photos. Guy I don’t know how to be casual! Let me see you try this. Sometimes I have to contort to mask the juicy or the tired I may be looking, or my makeup face I slept in the night before and haven’t removed. And it’s always from men too. GRRRR. Minx claws are contracting or whatever claws do.

I am just annoyed because I have to do my hair makeup full all out and take some Raymazing pictures for a postcard to be printed but I am too tired and lazy nahmean? You can never have a day off from destiny if you ever want to realize it.

And I’ve other adult chores to do today but I don’t want to do them either. You ever get like that. Trapped by your lists? I bet Type-A personalities who read my blog are like NO and read my blog solely as if I am a human specimen freak. I am kind of a little like Raymi’s Playhouse no?

I’m gonna be the juicy one on Friday. You’ll see. I have to practise my photo poses. I’ll be doing it again in the fall too. Crazy! Craymazing. Raymtastical. Huzzah! Jubilant! The bee’s knees.

Ok, ok.

I have a troll who bashes my belly button like I GAF (give a fuck!)(Some people have super disgusting torsos yo I think I am doing alright thanks) They have done it for years, went silent then re-appeared once I joined Naked News. Okay bro. You can stop trying to hurt me about my body I am pretty damn body aware and don’t care. It’s also nice to see that you have not gotten a life in years.

Just do it Euro style, or Kate Moss.

Remind me to buy cilantro please.

Rocky loves my roommate more than me. Whatever. He’s into boys. He loves me too don’t worry but at night I give him the cold shoulder so he is conditioned to manipulate someone else.

Once I get all my shit together I’ll show you how many pairs of jeans I have now thanks to my mom and her jeans buying problem.

When my friend’s random text came in about narative I blew up at him and said be lucky I blogged at all today! It was right after I hit publish on the last post I blogged. Which he didn’t read and had nothing to do with his text at all. See how exhausting blogging can be and if you’re in a state when you do it, good luck to you. I see it as a creative dumping ground and the slate is clean when I get all the images up that I have uploaded.

The thing is he was right so I was exploding about that.

Everyone is right! I do need casual pictures. I AM sexier when I am not trying to be sexy. I agree with you all yes yes but shut up okay.

I also blew up at my mom via text when I posted my tanning bed picture because she made a comment to me.

The more things you do, the more comments you get, you have to roll with it and be as mellow yellow as you can. There will always be a dissenter in the crowd, even when they’re on your side. We are just consumed by constant input, we seek it out, bring it on ourselves. When it’s your job essentially to make a lot of noise and get them to notice and it works you only have yourself to blame, or to thank.

I am proud of my eyes in this picture.

Look I’m the guy from Coldplay in the yellow music video. That’s the second time I have said yellow now in this post. I think I said it in my last post too. My world is really big, guys.

I’m annoying? I have no clue of which you speak. What’s annoying is these jeggings and their crotch area holy crap.

Mom is trying to burn me with a duck lips burn except she is the only one frigging making them so burn on mom ilu xox.

The trick to eternal youth is to stay childlike forever. I saw some thing on facebook with an old lady in a tiara who throws weird parties for other geezers and she was like 90 or something, 98? Yeah so provided I live that long I will be still getting up to stupid crap like that. See how I write all juvenile like? It takes a genius to master that.

Love this pic hate those pants. If I put a catwang head there it would just confuse and distract what is the point. It is good that I am drawing attention to this now.

We broke up. We tried to make it work but we just fight too much. I will refrain from saying anything else. It was mutual. Well it was topsy turvy for awhile and took turns having the breakup power but in the end it was a tie, we just fought a lot. I can play the age card maybe but also ultimately we are different people and I require more worship and appreciation. I am extremely needy and demanding. I have standards and of a certain league IMO and I think only a certain amount of people are out there to get, tolerate, and appreciate that. So the hunt continues. Lets be honest, there are certain things I do that guys just can’t handle. I am like a split personality person. I am old fashioned relationship romantical moony type and loyal but I also have a little Jim Morrison strain of trouble that runs through me.

And the story will always revolve around me and it can repulse some, I get it. I can have a cast of key players throughout and a partner in crime for sure, but that partner cannot be a force that is working against me. It needs to bring me up, not down.

Well so much for not really speaking about it.

This is going to be an experience. I need to print 400-600 postcards. That’s a lot of people.

Lol snacks.

I gotta go against my rule of blog now and to be continued this ish. Sorry!

But please though just don’t kale my vibe.

xo Raymkenstein

you dont like it it dont like you

Please ignore my blog titles. Sometimes I think I’m being dark and witty then I save these sayings that come to me and by the time I get around to blog-using one it’s like, cool relevant?

I love to be obtuse. When I’m not busy being acute, that is.

Whatever. I’m funnier than you are.

I try not to get lost too much in the stupid things I profess. This post is only supposed to be about the handful of selfies I uploaded and nothing more today, but now I AM lost in explaining the method to the radness which an artist should never do, except I always do – can’t stop now.

Winter is very much feeling like a jail sentence. I have been watching a lot of this show called Banshee, do you know it? It’s that show where the sheriff is a guy who just blew into town out of jail, conning the town and it involves sexy Amish people (there’s this one chick you just gotta see, oh man) and more interesting back story going on in the show. A lot of nudity and violence.

I’ve also completed watching the first season of The Affair. So juicy that one, gets a bit dark and draggy but you’re sucked into the story and characters. It makes you think about relationships a lot, cheating, passion. What’s more important, your lust or keeping family together. I think an age-old conundrum and people get agitated about this subject because nobody wants to know if they’re being cheated on.

Went for a very needed tan with mom. Time to get that body ready.

Definitely have to do some cardio today. Boylord is getting together with Dave Love our drummer today! Something came up.

How I look w/o instagram filters not bad for an old lady

That bloaty paunch is gone now too. Well, reduced.

So yeah I guess I switched boyfriend teams… the other one has already been married before (twice) and not interested in doing it again and seeing as I am of a delicate age right now it’s time to sail on down the river hahaha. I am bummed I liked him. We had great sexual chemistry. Sayonara!

I’m not making a relationship the focal point of my life right now anyway, some changes are (a change is gonna come!) about to occur to keep me occupied and build my brand/career some more/there’s always more peen down the road. BUT, juicy gossip bomb, as it turns out you might recognize some of the surroundings I’ve been posting my selfie settings in.

Watching the affair, having one…

I will admit the vindication feeling is superb when someone breaks your heart, realizes they lost someone incred then fights to get you back for months and months and months. Now that I am back from the dead it’s different now humongously.

There is a distance now that must be earned back. I’m getting over the other guy. I feel sick all the time and have no appetite. I never tell this shit to you guys but whatever. I bleed like you do too I am not any better.

I will have to continue this conversation later though because we have a viewing this afternoon and I have some errands to do and hair dye to buy.

Yesterday my tits were famous a little bit. They got more fav’s and retweets than this by the time the russsssssh ended lol. I love bragging about my one secret famous friend who gives me advice every time I am about to do something stupid (and slutty) and he always says to go for it. So I went for it and #freethenipple rewarded me.

I cannot handle booze anymore. This was yesterday. See how I need to dye my hair real bad. Gonna get this superhero kinda red.

Face obsession done, fungrily yours,

RLW.