awhile ago I had dinner + drinks at DRAKE ONE FIFTY and it was maaaahvelous. Adore that scene. Definitely going back and fangirling hard over it cos I think I looked “on fleek” that night and took hella selfies to show for it. Capital Whatever. Lets go.
Hey player haters. Holy my life is a stupid blur. I have to go on my FB to see if this photo was even used here yet I’ve seen it so much before already. Insert more endless blog complaints about blogging.
SO into this look in fact I gotta collage it bruh. My client was too cos the night of the Oscars he was all (texted) it is spellbinding (my word) how much Kate Winslet and I look exactly the same and I was like, huh now??
You know I googled that the very next morning and was like she even got the hair swoop down good work Kate’s team of stylists who obviously follow my instagram/entire life. Hopefully you will never have to see this picture of me again. I plan to “cover” my dinner at Drake OneFifty I dig it that much and intend to go back until they get sick of looking at me. I like to take pictures of great spaces and I also love a cocktail of theirs called the Rum Diary.
I had steak tartare and oysters. You’re just gonna have to wait til I upload the rest.
Hung out at my friend’s record store near the bar a couple Fridays ago. Very fun vortex night. One for the books? Went all over town and by that I mean like, two more places lol I am old. Do yourselves a favour and look up the time John Lydon was on Judge Judy. Classic. Maybe prep yourself a drink beforehand.
Tony took this of me at Swan Dive the same two weeks ago.
Cray nails. Whenever I hodge-podge them it’s just another thing for me to pick off. You think if I have a gf of mine manicure me I’ll leave them alone? Does that help?
My little wino buddy Heather and I learn a lesson in not putting glasses on the floor. Don’t cry over spilled wine just pour some more.
I’ll post more of this lady friend in time. The reactions kind of get too much tbh. All the people we already have in common LOSE IT knowing she and I “hang out”. People are babies. It’s super foreseeable. I’m an adult baby for life so I should know.
Went for food at this amaze place around the corner I’m not telling cos I don’t want it to be slammed when I go back. It’s a fine line of patronage vs promo on the little gems in the city.
Also the night I wore my cat dress. My outfits are layered and versatile. I also don’t take that many selfies believe it or not, whatever that many means. I just do it all in one night and then feed off those for days while in actuality I look like a disgusting slob behind scenes. FAMILY SECRETS.
Charlie Brown (gigantic) Avocado tree and its one ornament that I got for whining about being an adult on twitter b’y. When losing is winning.
Mike Sent a print of the time I got naked in a box at Lane Studios. It’s nice and big thank you. I bet one of my boys will want it for their wall. I’ll buy you a shawarma when that happens.
Played with an icicle the other day and had the time of my life. Just kidding I immediately threw it in the sink after this picture as it was cold and wet. Please tell me what to draw on that awesomely prepped canvas I am all out of ideas. Something hipster I presume. Haunting. Timely. No irony though we’ve all had enough of that.
Finally made time to go through Tony’s newer prints. Lovely, lovely. Might use that top right one as a profile photo it’s very Alicia Silverstoner, long hair-like. Guy’s got an eye.
Well looky-loo. Another Drake OneFity. I just convinced a client to meet there next week alternatively to a spot he had in mind. Pumped.
That’s what I wore to dinner. When in doubt don’t wear pants. Throw a blazer over it to tie it all in there. Maaaahvelous.
All I did this weekend was relax and eat. Made meals around the clock and watched films. The Salvation is disturbing word to the wise but it is also gripping and you’ll want a tattoo on the side of your temple once you see this one character named Princess who had her tongue cut out yeah I don’t mess around with my cinematography yo.
Went to an apres ski party on Thursday at The Everleigh. If you’re not in the mood to party I swear, things just happen in the universe that annoy you even more, no? That being said I had a good time catching up with “the crew” in “that scene” and as always look forward to the next.
I felt fat and crabby from trying to make an outfit to hide it and turns out I have no ski clothing, who knew lol.
Went to a day event last-last week as well was kind of a whirlwind couple of weeks there that’s why I feel none too guilty when I balance it out by being lazy af. I ate three of those cake pops. Been mad lit in the food dept lately bra. Now I know why it was vocalized once in my family that “no one can understand what Lauren is saying on her blog”. I try to give to all audiences. Just Urban Dictionary any word you don’t undertand or leave a comment about clarification. Don’t be shy.
Was nice to catch up with some old buds on Friday after work. I like Motel too. I like to visit places I used to go to I am constantly romanticizing shit.
My oh yeah I am a singer/musician hat. Shut up! Okay mates we’re getting the band back together. Lets have rehearsal STAT Boylord or bust. Alrighty then gotta scoot sorry if this post was boring af to you. xoxo
Hi guys. It’s me again. My blog traffic has been snowballing I keep telling you, so now I gotta feed the monkey and be somewhat consistent with my bullshit here like I can even recall what I said last, the rich content (images/youtube) blerh blah. I have two lives. I have two names. Can you blame me?
As I turn the page on to part two of my life now that I am back in Toronto, with new eyes. It feels pretty cool. December was hella stressful, a lot going on and January is only phase II of crazytown for your hero. Lots of changes this month as well. I have several ongoing projects alongside clients, new gigs and things to do, see, endorse, show up to and so on, and the social media correspondences that never. seem. to. fucking. end. I am snapping on a few of my elite fans lately and being gifted sweet merciful karma in the forms of obsessive compulsive texting messaging me relentlessly dept. and my patience has been beyond tested. I also have a psychotic stalker who talks about me to herself all day long (libelously!) in a messageboard as well as subtweets me and emulates everything about me while bashing me obsessively. I’ve just super had enough.
It was a struggle to communicate hey I am on vacation in Detroit LEAVE ME ALONE I was anxious about returning to Toronto to this shitstorm of people just wanting to drag me into their lives again, their drama. I still plan to not be a part of it like fuck I’m busy let me work. I designed my own life please let me live it.
Despite all my rage I’m still just a whatever in a something. Moving along now! I bought the three ding dongs these hats. Mom said I left mine in Oakville godsarnit!
I am excited about my shift today at Swan Dive I am blogging my nerves out here as well as just blogging for the joy of it. Blogging is great for your metabolism because it can be stressful asf especially when you are squeezing it between doing other shit on your list.
Bloody Mary bar. Not called a caesar bar like I inish thought. Bloody Mary is American. It goes down to the differences in our tomato juice, so stupid, who cares!!?!?
Wasn’t in drinking mood too bad. You get a glass of vodka from the bar and off you go to town here. Click to enlarge.
One of my ratchet looks. Funeral procesh went by. Sad. Crushed a burg in a min. Happy.
I want to become a better dancer. I will become a better dancer. Dancing at the bar is gonna be tight. Maybe Babysitting Money (one of my dj alter-egos) will get to spread their wings and soar.
Am probably wearing that little wee green number tonight. I will be a human jungle. Oh lawrdy.
When the neighbours are completely brilliant too and you are like is this even real.
RSSR wanted me in these glasses from day one. I wear a lot of specs. I have a thing about the bridge part of the nose being too wide, too much for my nose. Anyway I like how this photo turned out okay I am not always right.
Bruv that passport has been around the block and then some.
This is a mod trench. feeeeeeeeeeling it.
It was so good. I still ate a bag of chips afterward. I just love American chips. I want it I eat it the end.
Like the Slave for you Britney spears video pink thong over her jeans you know I already tried it on like that as well the first night when they showered gifts on me and I was beginning of trip skinny. One of my favourite gifts thank you!
Hey bros! On Saturday evening in Detroit we went out to Antietam on Gratiot Avenue for some amazing french cuisine. Sometimes, you just got to treat yoselves!
Behind me is the Masonic Temple. The largest in the world. That is where we partied for Theatre Bizarre. Masons get that playground for themselves whenever they want. Awesome.
We love eating at the bar.
Doorknob taps. Reminds me of 1049 Cedar Grove blvd.
Gal got great style.
Beet tart with creme fraiche and arugula salad mmmm.
This french resto was so old world down the the bathroom fixtures so gangster. I adored the bar of soap on that spindle hello little house on the prairie. We made friends with these nice older chicks (sister-in-laws having a girl’s weekend) and they showed me footage of that hot air balloon festival and it was bananas like a Sony Bravia Ad. They loved me. Just saying.
We dined on oxtail (gamey, weird?) and steak tartar (I love it).
Yum as hell. I am looking fwd to my fancy train meal later on #spoiled yet again. Bittersweetly so.
Some interesting backstory here no doubt.
The restaurant is beside this mural, more or less. Love it.
A lot of beautiful murals by great artists about the area. The art scene is booming in Detroit “I know things”.
Detroit Tigers, guy!
This Cliff Bells joint was a mighty amazing trip through time. Detroit is a new culture to me, I forget this at times but then I go to a place like Cliff Bells and I immediately remember I ain’ts in Toronto no mo and I friggin’ diggit.
We thought we spied a famous basketball player of course no idea or clue who or what team but the place just has this kind of magic dazzle and quality to it where stars go to hear jazz and blues. I am very blessed and fortunate to have been given a tour of Detroit and seen a lot of record studios, last living legends play live music here and learn the complete history of this sacred musical ground. I was not expecting this post to turn in to a rock review but there you have it. I saw Dennis fucking Coffey last night. Don’t even get me started. I’ll have to come back here and finish. This trip was an inspiration voyage for sure. It’s great for my book.
Love. Also last night at Northern Lights Lounge (Diana Ross’ stomping grounds and not the bathroom seen above/Motown Records is around the corner also) the owner Michael remembered me. Said, hey you, from Toronto – you’re the leggy one. Last night was tight.
Saturday night was also epic. Hadn’t gone out a lot this trip because we were nursing Lizzy’s ear post-surgery (long story) so a lot of indoor Netflix and eating plus computers. Above, Sam Fazio nailed it. He also was interesting as hell to watch because he showed no emotion whatsoever which then made him seem very emotional to me. Stoic? Intense and vacant. You know I like that shit. I patted him on the back during a break in the set and said blah blah you’re great he nodded, I wasn’t an apparition to the guy and thankfully I stopped myself from informing him he was wooden AF emotionally as a performer and left it at that.
The Detroit Opera house is now an indoor parking lot. A casualty of the Detroit economy bullshit. This is a picture of it on Lizzy’s phone from googling it, we didn’t go inside although I would have loved to see that with my own eyes. Imagine parking your car beneath the most ornate ceiling you ever did in your lifetime. Speechless. I saw the exterior facade, however. This is all downtown Detroit proper.
I have to find where those glasses are before I leave today ha ha.
Hello hello. As promised and delivered my fancy night on Saturday. Make sure your socks have suspenders because they might get blown off by this post you never really know what crazy shit will come out of me.
Or the imagery! I apologize that this isn’t a picture of both of my hands but then who would hold the phone to take the picture? Trust me I have considered hiring someone to drop in and take a bath picture of both my hands. You think up all kinds of awesome shit in the bath it’s the best place to think which has the least pens.
Sidenote, hung out with my literary bruh yesterday, read him a ton of raymi shit and he’s motivated to start pushing me again I mean not to brag or anything but this writing you’re reading is really good.
If only there was more time and motivation and like a monkey helper to just do it all for me. So tired.
I feel like I will have a book soon though.
My literary agent is ten times more lazy than I am. We last left it at talking publishers ok nevermind. My buddy (different guy) is going to turn his blog into a book, it’s all time we did that.
In true Raymi fashion I was spinning him yarn after yarn yesterday and he said, have you written about this before? Why not? What’s so cringey about it? I mean I think I’ve done all these crazy fun things in life just so I could write about them eventually anyway.
In about a month I’ll be able to focus and map that out more. Am moving. Also new gig starts up next week.
Here I was gonna talk about my date and then I went back to Capital Me. Oops.
Had pho Friday. With extra veg and meat. I always manage to weasel the best bowl (a small), and never have to pay for the extras. Meanwhile the guy always gets the large, doesnt finish and it has more noodles and less meat veg or just as much as my small. Second time this has happened now.
I am probably part witch. Not evil but just very good at getting my way. Don’t worry, lots of bad luck shit happens to me too no one is that blessed.
Bag of green. No more cheating. Had chinese yesterday. Idiot. Every little thing counts at this point. I’m one of those gains 5lbs from thinking about salt body types. Luckily I am stressed out of my mind and generally unhappy which keeps the weight off.
My hair is very red today. I added some red to my conditioner yesterday (a trick and tip to keeping your red) also my girl at shoppers said the more red you add to your red makes it more red. The red build. I see. I see. Lots of cold showers too of course ugh.
and hot baths don’t forget.
Winter is boring so a lot of exercising happens. Diet as well as exercise and you will get results. It’s a no-brainer and it’s not starving it’s just reduction of nutrition (aka “food”) coupled by willpower and spiderman climbers. Dating a volleyball player (on the side of his real job) has perks. Though it can be annoying when you’re already huffing and puffing and you get corrected on shit you have no extra energy for and want to be in your own zone, then we get in an argument about it. That’s what trainers are like though, they motivate by irritating you and it’s not a good session unless you want to launch them into outerfuckingspace.
Speaking of, my old gym and trainers wanted me back in there to help me get fit for my new thing but I did it all myself. I figure, once I am commuting into town more often it will be more convenient to do both. Living out here and coming in to train and then to what, get into trouble in Toronto? Becasue I most certainly will. So if decided that I still need to slim down (prepared if that’s the case) then I’ll go train at TMR again. I prob will anyway. I know the commuting alone makes me lose weight. Seriously. Anyone who is a lazy shut-in blogger knows that when you schedule appts and go out into the world leaving your precious cave at home, you’re gonna lose four pounds that day. Well at least that’s what seems to happen to me then I’m like I did all that running around I should probably reward myself with a bowl of pesto pasta mmm.
I am always fantasizing about pesto and maybe one day eating it. If you play mental food games with yourself it can help you deal with all the restrictions.
Glad we went to Pepperwood instead of the Keg. The Keg on a Saturday is like walking into a zoo of annoying suburban elitist families frowning in the waiting area because they don’t take reservations on Saturdays it’s a first come first serve basis. No thanks! Also it’s douchey, wasn’t in the mood for that kind of douchey. I live near Pepperwood it’s just so much easier. The girl playing live music was good too. Normally when I see the musician come out I’m like oh great here we go but then she was mellow and played (current) songs I knew. Some soloists make it all about them and have whiney ballads. I know Boylord would be a super annoying dinner band because I am just, really annoying.
All I wanted on Valentine’s Day was to wear this stupid little thing I bought and have a photo of it in my instagram feed like I won Valentine’s Day. I wore it a weekend later instead. Oh well. On V Day we hibernated. Yes Valentine’s Day is a dumb tradition that’s turned into competing with other chicks and like no romance. It was basically like go to shoppers and take out a shelf of crap then give it to me so I can ignore you for an hour instagramming this pile of shit while we eat chocolate. Cool.
I had the beef tenderloin and finger me potatoes. I didn’t eat any of them though. The tenderloin was Raymazing.
I bought these in Holland. Love them.
Slimming down makes your bigger underwear, funderwear. Like yay it’s fun that I can remember when these gigantic things were skin tight on me lol.
Not the best lighting in there.
I don’t know why I bother censoring it. I guess if it was my intention to instagram it where someone always flags me. I also recall when I was able to change the size of these stickers but something seems to have changed. Catwang is still cool about that though.
Winter whining forever.
We finished watching Banshee. New episode on Thursday so no we haven’t finished it exactly but you know what I mean.
I just thought about all the laundry I should be doing today.
Tried to get it all in. Next time I’ll take off my shoe and rest it on the counter. I can’t find that specific picture right now though it’s the guy with his Timberland boot on the bathroom sink so you can see his whole outfit bahahha. Or I can do an extreme selfie.
A woman gave me stink eye for using my flash to take a pic of my beef tenderloin. Bet yer ass I gave her “the look” right on back. We stared at each other uncomfortably for 5 solid seconds while I squinted my eyes but I broke the look first to go back to my date. I almost asked CAN I HELP YOU? I did look back again at her and she was looking again while talking about me to her date. YES it’s “rude” to use a flash but it’s not that big a deal. You do have the capacity to ignore our table. We’re fine-dining and we are photographing it for the internet. We bought it, we commemorate it you can take your foodie rules and shove them up your ass. Why are you sitting in the bar area where there’s more action if you want no flashes going off then?
I’m not fully inconsiderate though. I will make a point to not use the flash the majority of the time as a courtesy gesture but again, when I go places if I want to take pictures then I will. No one in this life has to concern themselves with what others are up to. If you’re so offended by everything why are you even going out? Women give me dirty looks all the time no matter what I’m doing so I don’t care anymore. I have a present for you it’s called YOLO.
We’re lightweights, it doesn’t take much to get us going. I think after our first sip we laughed for ten minutes about absolutely nothing. A facial expression can set us off. Or an accidental lips whistle, oh god don’t get me started ahhahaa.
Shared mussels. Goooood and garlicy.
What’s going to happen when I have really long red mermaid hair like Cousin It.
Saw my mom Sunday night for the Oscars and more booze cheating went down as it does. I’m her date tomorrow for some comedy thing she’s working. Will have to see if bf wants to go to that bet he won’t. I don’t think he wants to meet her haha. He didn’t meet her the first time around that we dated somehow managed to skillfully avoid it.
When she gave me these I was like what moron bought them for you. There is no chance she’d just go out and get me underwear for valentines day yeah right but anyway she’s like this is so a Raymi thing but even I feel too old to wear tights like that more of a Hailey thing.
I dyed Nana’s hair. She’s going away for 5 weeks. Happy to help. Having roots on vacation is the worst.
You can see the butt tan line.
There is NOTHING WRONG with nudity fyi. I’ve been a nudist (more or less) for many years and if it makes you uncomfortable, don’t look. Don’t actively look just to feel like shit. Some are inspired by me, by this. I am just saying either way being nude is nothing foreign to me so stop bashing me for it you’re wasting your time and energy.
Maybe my body is being accepted because I am accepting of my body. Showing it. I have dignity, a lot in fact.
I was actually afraid and expecting a huge family rift over it and it was secretly stressing me out big time and depressing me knowing I’d have to just fight for it and exhausted in advance about it. I’m happy that won’t be the case.
Was also refered to as a transvestite. Um, transvestites are beautiful, sometimes more feminine than actual females. The dig is meant to make me feel bad about having androgynous features and spoken by a desperate housewife. I guess I should get used to slags from jealous women. You think I’d be used to it by now. It only sucks that to move forward and live your destiny you have to go through so much garbage.
I am tired of being people’s punching bags who have sexual issues and are made uncomfortable by sex or by other women being comfortable being sexual or sexy.
I built my brand around sex because I am sexy. I didn’t craft this persona, it happened naturally on its own because I embody the passion necessary to live and breathe sensuality daily. This is how I am.
Two Thursdays ago your fearless anti-hero embarked on a gluttonous feasting adventure at the new spot on Roncess, Workshop (by Latitude). It sits on the same latitude as the Georgetown location (how much wine do you have to drink to figure that one out?) and is actually the same people who formally brought you Fat Cat wine bar which I’ve also reviewed on one whimsical sloppy Christmas eve-eve evening, Melodie in-tow. I just remember it was slushy out, delicious, boozy and mega-fun. The night was black as coal. It’s totally the kind of place you could say shit like THE NIGHT WAS BLACK AS COAL about.
Workshop is touted as, and actually is, the best cheese and only all cheese menu’d resto in the city. I mean, one that specializes in cheeses. You can order a la carte or choose from a variety of pre-set flights. We went with the Amsterdam because one of us is Dutch and turns out it was a grand choice. We were also treated to others available. I think I felt fat for a few days after this dinner. Worth it.
Dreamy staff on board too. Warren is a cheese genius. It was very interesting to pick his brain, get him going off on dairy tangents and what not. I also felt like I knew him from somewhere before but maybe I just don’t get out much. I really enjoy people who have passions and are generally obsessive about “things”. Experts. It’s the greatest because I absorb all information privy to me like a sponge. Mathew Sutherland on the right IS Workshop. Bow down. I dig their Leatherface aprons I proclaimed about five times over the span of the evening.
Honestly, right?? It was the first week of opening and packed when we arrived, hard to get a table for two. I changed to Thursday from Wednesday because I forgot I had something booked (involving a moving van) after work Wednesday night and was freaked I wouldn’t be able to make it happen but they accommodated me oh so sweetly. Hashtag blessed.
We had a charcuterie board too. I love the board and a little birdie told me where you can source them…
Dooooon’t even get me started on how much chatter this picture generated.
I was pretty zonked after work to boot. Look at me I can’t even deal haha. The blond sommelier babe beside me, Rachel, runs the Georgetown joint. What a life that must be hey. Go over there, dazzle the folk then ditch dodge and flee back to city to be Queen of the urban eatery castle. I also love the farmy suburbs, the nothing, a lot right now. I’m like a guy watching his dog run away from home for three days in the prairies and gonna write a poem about it.
I am this (I took this last Sunday) but back to business…
You want cheese you got cheese. That’s the copywriter coming out for sure.
Can’t afford a flight to Amsterdam? (Which’ll setcha back $1500+ trust me I know this) No problem, try one for $17 instead.
No shortage of quirk or hipster dining low-pretention chic. With a very nice back patio.
Pew Pew le Pew.
Sorry for the mommy cloth. Not sorry? Gimmicks are my jam.
I liked the stinky cheese so much I asked for more, got it. Then had thirds. YOLO.
Pretty much an all out goddamn indulgent night and I’d send my best friends there if I had any. Heh. Workshop is making the media rounds to boot. Toronto Life and BlogTo respectively. Nice, nice.
Mathew, with one t, is a great all around guy. I like guys who like wine. Right? Ladies, go see him.
Don’t worry, we left before anything got weird. Heheh.
You can take your mother, a date, family. Your bestie. Go solo. That guy you are kind of banging… it’s the new institution so familiarize thyselves. If you go (and you should) say Raymi sent you and you will probably most definitely (highly likely) get special treatment and/or snubbed. You choose you lose people! You could also go and say nothing which I expect 90% of you to do because that is “so” Toronto. Or, better yet if you’re in the foodie percintle then you’re already aware of everything I’m talking about and rolled your eyes a billion times. #Hater. .;)
It really is a special place. I’ll let you explore the front on your own. Sitting at the bar is just as dreamy, candles lit everywhere. Very cozy. Thanks Mathew!
And here are my legs. It’s nice to be back to blogging you guys! Sayonara!
Octopus salad happy Octoberpus! Not the same as squid or calamari. Try an octopus salad one time in your life, this was baby octopus it tastes differently to grown up which is more tender juicy and is maybe the steak of fish if we ruled out tuna steaks. Oh yeah that reminds me yesterday I said Canada is the Americanized Europe.
See. I feel badly, these people were in blankets crying obvs it was their building. My bf is a disaster tourist, Euros get away with being inconsiderate so by default? THIS GUY.
What did one enabler say to the other? Drink up. Another good toast is to honour. Can’t come in ‘er come on her BAHAHAH gross. Also, true say.
Sweet potato gnocci it just melted into nothingness. “I died”. And don’t forget the most expensive thing I ever ate. The boys were playing Russian roulette over the menu. We went all in.
A jar full of delish evil.
the jar full of pickled eggplant was damn good I would eat a major bowl full of that.
My friend has a crazy vintage/modern post-modern sunglasses collection amongst a bevy of other wicked treasures. He also had GTA5 and that made someone pacified for a good while, a nice couch sesh yeah.