Hey guys, didja take yer joke pills today hopefully jesus -uck am I ever in a crabby mood. PMessy nahmean. And I super want a drink. I am at the point like why am I doing this. This sucks. Is boring. And so on. Plus Christmas is basically here which means Drinkmas.
It’s Day 13 of no drinking and I want a dark and stormy right fckn meow.
But then I looked in the mirror and was like hubba hubba. Just jay-kaying guys. How will I ever become friends with Gwyneth Paltrow if I drink. Bet she never lets her hair down or allows herself to be out of control like ever. Stringent chicks are so fascinating. Speaking of typecast people, Gwyn is one of those skinny broads in loose-fitting black lingerie proudly on gawky display in several of her flicks and you can only do that when you’re a beanbole and to be a beanpole you have to be majorly uptight. We have to make do with the bodies God gave us and if you’re flat then to pass as sexy you have to be coatrack thin. Or that’s what the sickness beauty perception states.
Smiling makes you look younger too. Fortunately more than half my bloggy life was devoted to neve smiling so I don’t have massive crow’s feet and laugh lines. All my lines are on my orehead from fucking around with my eyebrows and applying mascara EVERY DAY I am 100% going to get botox one day and have a forehead like a balloon.
I had a gap in my teeth as a kid and then one day it just closed, maybe when I was about twenty, but because of the gap when I smiled (when I was forced to) I never smiled with my teeth showing I hated my Madonna gap. Now I know the power of my teeth and flashing ‘em but you have to be careful and not overdo it because you can look like a game show host which I have on many occassions. Smiling smiling smiling, inside dying.
If I wrote a book like how I write these blog posts I’d have no recollection of what my book was about because I have absolutely no attention span and whatever I cared about last week is like ancient history in internet time.
Sorry if you’re grossed out. Or tempted.
Reminds me of Fubar 2.
Yep I still dress like Peter Pan.
This was yesterday. God I miss running. it’s just too cold and too much hassle.
Pumped about getting so much laundry done yesterday.
Still eating candy like crazy I think is turning us into monsters.
Keeping food as interesting as poss.
I have every intention to run again soon though, this headwrap is part of the plan. Today woulda been good too it’s kinda mild.
That’s enough for now. Have a great one.