you ghost of christmas passed-out
hi guise i thought i was on the mend but then i woke up this morning and THE SICKNESS had made its way to my throat, total phlegmland. we had a lot of last minute gift buying to do and i of course started to panic about it, fil was going with or without me so i had to decide either to stay in bed get better and obsess over all the things i wasn’t getting done in the outside world OR go out despite being sick as a dog, spread the influenza to as many stores as possible, and get shit done. so i got shit done with bloodshot eyes and zero energy and you know it kinda worked to my benefit cos i was able to achieve this zen-like state akin only to hot-boxing your brains out or whatever, no crabby bitches got me down today no siree, not possible, what i can barely hear out of my right ear.
ok where was i oh yeah i made little video updates from every stop and my happiness/tolerance level dramatically dips at each one. crabby in the car, not in the store. new rule. except i forgot to tell fil about that one not like he’d listen anyway.
good luck to you all tomorrow you last minute shopping motherfuckers, you will need it. wear layers that you can remove, nothing too heavy, throw a bottle of water in your purse and nuts or one of those hippie bars avoid the mall food court for the sake of your own sanity, that’s what a gossip magazine told me in the car today.
yesterday i stir crazy attacked the kitchen cabinets fuck they were so filthy, once you notice a speck you notice everything, it was no easy task, we clean those things never. fil said he wants to hire a cleaning lady (sexist) and he said this literally a minute after i had the same idea (but would never indulge in such a luxury, i would feel way too guilty and fat and useless) so i then decided why the hell would we pay someone when i can do a shittier job for free? so basically my right bicep is like arnold’s right now. i attacked every door frame, door, drawer any space our fingers touch and then other places wow reading about cleaning is fascinating right?
oh what’s that? anorexic you say? hahaha
if i told you how much i weigh now my mother would faint.
sick is the best exercise i never had. (that’s my quote i just invented it yes i realise how clever it is)
oh and i’m 20 again.
and i have perfect balance for the first time ever (tellin’ ya get yourself a zen cold, today)
during my leave of absence i also discovered the television has a blog.
and this would be smokey eyes, it makes more sense in real life and if your canvas (face) isn’t sickly pale like mine.
to be fair to cid this is an especially unflattering shot of him out of the ten i took. i wanted to capture the essence of his psychotically desperate obsession with fil.
washed and dried my school skirt (dry clean only my ass!) and tried it on to see if it shrunk, didn’t. i think it’s never before been washed. nice.
i had other things to say but i forget them. til later.
oh yes i remember i bought myself a ceramic curling iron so i can have “holiday hair” tomorrow and for christmas, i figure i have this stupid long hair i may as well do something with it for example in early highschool years i both curled and braided it like a christina aguilera nitemare. PUMPED. i should start collectnig little pieces of crap too, tinsel and miniature angels and butterflies. ew.
i also learned from the information magazines that a lot of celebrity babies are extremely ugly and that no matter how famous you are and how much your personal trainer and personal chef keeps you lean, you can’t get them to visit your birthing sac ok dudes even i have no idea what i am trying to say anymore so good nite.
did you know that aunt bethany from national lampoon’s christmas vacation was the voice of betty boop and olive oyl?!