blog while they sleep

Hilo what’s up good to hear lets go.

Straight up truth sometimes I have no idea what to write here it feels like PeeWee’s Playhouse and then I have to go back a few posts to reference the instapics I’ve already posted then got lost in the abyss of Raymland. Oh well, could be worse I guess.

Got another rehearsal in. Jared is girl crazy on his phone every time I lapse into instagram and then we just rip on each other until we finally put our phones down. Phones am I right!

I am liking the JT look more and more these days both hair and denim. Dark denim is a go! Not that Jared was going for JT or even knows who Justin Timberlake is jkjk. Sigh, that TKO video is fucking hot and what’s the deal with guys and crazy girls, am I right? What’s the deal with am I right, am I right?

Guys are so into crazy hot girls they’ll let them drive their boner right off a damn cliff. Alright that’s enough life wisdoms for this caption. I would love to cover this song btw however.

Defrosted ice. Intense.

I guess that’s what you get from being on your phone so much eh? blehehee. He’s one of those phone speak into-ers like it’s a dictaphone. Cool detective work there. The funny thing is, we always get Second Cup when we jam for some reason probably cos Jared is a cheapskate I dunno but anyway I tweet to them and because their social media game is strong they ALWAYS reply back to me but I doubt that this time they woulda, had I blasted this convo out to them. That would be a dream meme come true if so. I’m going to upload it to my imgur account if I remember to.

I’ve lost about 5lbs since I started giving a shit again. I typically fluctuate 5 pounds everyday or when I’m drinking but now I’ve gone passed my lowest number and dropped 5lbs below that. The magic of sugar restriction, carbs and booze. Speaking of, it’s Booze free day nine time to make up a silly self referential rhyme.

Ugh I think I’m getting sick or it’s just the beginning of today’s starvation headache. My throat is feeling phlegmy and considering I am surrounded by a lot of sickness and death right now (hospital visits don’t ask) I probably picked something up, or it’s a head cold from the billions of times walking in and out in the wind and snow.

These are the moments why people, myself super included, complain about summer ending. It’s hard to envision wearing teeny neon shorts right now it just is. I am going for a tan later. Remember when I said I wanted to take on the world with my body and my mind? That’s why I was so gung-ho running like a Raymiac covered in Hawaiian tropic oil all summer long. Well what’s the point of turning your body into a turbobabe machine if you’re not going to do anything with it right? I mean lets face it I am almost 32 if I can bag a role based on my quasi-bombshell looks then why fucking not. If I can maintain a physique that is. Hopefully I will not be having a rude-awakening from staring into my bf’s skinny mirror all the time.

Keeping things light is key. Creative too.

This was the last sweet thing I ate. I even gave this little asian candy from the bottom of my purse away that I wanted. Oh wait but then I had a power bar which was full of sugar but necessary because I probably would have killed my bf. Speaking of btw, the older I get the more progressive and laid back the dudes I date seem to be. I’m like hey and he’s like, no problem.

Whenever I wear a turtleneck I think I look like Charlie Bucket.

I just emailed myself some more pics to add here. Blogging the way I do takes up so much time. Especially while fielding calls and emails and messages blabbity blah it’s just one of those one thing after another days/weeks. My bf said I cannot have kids because then I couldn’t blog, but not because I would be a shitty mother. That was nice haha. I was like uh newsflash there are tons of mommy bloggers out there BECAUSE they’re moms. He just meant all this me-ness would have to be done away with. When I see old ladies bobbing around at the supermarket I start to baby panic like who is going to take care of me one day??? But then I think I just can’t yet I have all this crap to take care of first. The mind of a 31 year old is an interesting place.

It’s not just your body you have to worry about though it’s your face and not looking tired and when you lose weight it shows in your face. Slippery slope.

A gf said she totally knows what I meant when I said cheekbones and no drinking though. I like that old friends of mine still read my blog and then write me long emails about evey point I made, or the in-between the lines stuff. Hi all long time readers you guys are the shit.

It’s hair wash day. Half groan half yay. Your hair is high maintenance when it’s long and when you DIY the babying maintenance is an intriguing process in that you just let it be in secret behind closed doors when no one is around you have major rat’s nest dreadlocks and basically look like Natasha Lyonne.

Dead ringer.

Back to this guy.

Jared asked why girls take pics like this. I dunno cos it’s hot, you can make yourself look skinny and flat bellied, show off your figure and outfit if it’s cute. Give the people a POV on what I look down at everyday.

This does not at all look appetizing but I assure you last night it was tasty and bonus points on picking up that peanut sauce too oh god yeah that jar is going to be emptied in no time. I feel sorry for people who are allergic to peanuts I really do. Next time I’m getting cilantro.

The rice paper is thick and good quality, makes me think you could make a curry and the rice paper can hold it or that would just be a total disaster who knows.

It looks better from the front but I couldn’t get a good pic of him. We have a rule, one pic a month. Yesterday two diff source-entities reached out and requested pics of me kissing with him, or a friend, or a loved one?? Funny no? We’re at the hospital and I’m like, check out these back-to-back emails yo. Give the people what they want I guess.

I should be glad I bought the amazon mural instead of that tidal wave one right?

bf said with my midriff showing in these jeans I’d do well in a trailer park. Jealous much! Then I pulled my thong up super high like Britney Spears it was pretty gross and funny.

Today is also the day I find out how ghetto this is or isn’t. Is black too much for a screen test? I have really long nails right now they will really stand out. Hopefully the tan will make my hands look less witchy. I should prob do subtle but what the heck it’s me and I do it my way.

3 months left of winter. 90 days of blistering cold hell.

My thighs would be so much leaner if I were running right now. Thanks winter. Pretty sure I have the gap still but definitely juicier ’round there. If I get this gig I will tell them I am going to lose 10 more pounds and it won’t just be bullshitting either.

My laundry has been piling up at home and I get annoyed because then I run out of all my “cool” pants or my favourite rotation stuff but then I discover one of several pairs of jeans my mom dropped on me. We have the same size body more or less and now that I am slimming down all the pants she brought over fit me better instead of telling people to take ten steps back while you unbutton and explode out of them, everything fits nice and loosey-goosey.

My exercise routine is squats, kettlebell, sex, free weights, torso twists, tricep extensions, push ups, lots of water and caffeine and squeezing my butt when I walk and igniting my core as much as I remember to. I count going to the bathroom as exercise too. Good metabolism, all that.

If I look at it I am more bound to drink it rather than look at a highball of whiskey and sob. Water is great for your skin not to mention all the stuff going on inside of your body.

It’s nice too when other bands fangirl your band. We will book another gig soon.

Count your blessings everyone that’s all I gotta say! I feel like there is so much stressful stuff surrounding me right now, because there is, and multiple different entities at that like a stress trifecta and there’s nothing to do but to keep ploughing through it. Know that I am ok though. Some of it is good stress and good things and opportunities etc but some of it is hardcore and private stress that at times just makes me want to scream my fucking head off. Just keep on keeping on til it gets better because it always does. Bye for now xo Raymbo.

BOYLORD NYE live

Tom Green was at the party. Missed him cos after the mosh pit and beer all over me I had had enough. Then I destroyed some 7-11 nachos and cheese and taquitos WOOHOO! It’s hard not to drink when you have a free booze vip bracelet on.

UPDATE! Jenny Lewis quietly approves of Boylord!

Happy New year blah blah.

Thanks Tim! Tragedy is uploading now.

I’d apologize but I wouldn’t mean it

Hiya. Take in the last newd of 2014.

Winter stir crazy rural Ontario (yes Hamilton and Burlington are rural to me) has begun to take its chilly toll so we went to bowlerama and ate a bag of polish sour candy. Winter and not drinking makes you get creative. Come spring, I’ll have loomed an area rug, made some candles, illustrated and published a colouring book for the gifted, starred in a small town theatre production (I have no idea what you call this shit I just make it up as I go along) and learned the kazoo. Goals, am I right!

No but seriously I’m going to be doing a talk in the Kawartha Lakes area about blogging/social media to the arts council there. That’s going to be a time! It’s in February, they had spring slots but I took winter cos I am insane like that. There is nothing more beautiful and terrifying than driving in the northern snow with a travel budget to talk about yourself. Maybe it will be like the sequel to Misery. But it will be like a buddy black comedy picture, Misery loves company. There is probably already a movie called that anyway.

You win some you lose some.

I am the Prince Caspian of bowling.

Was trying to ge a lipstick shot.

Bowling alleys are time machines and that guy is intense.

I wanted that bear bad.

Omg I hate winter so much it should be called whiner.

I don’t think I can handle how very white snake this look is. Will also accept Vietnam war.

Can handle how cartoonish these look.

Polish Santa and his swinging lamp.

When all else fails go stoic. It comes naturally. This is my bitch resting face ha burn it’s just a Mona Lisa. Back then that was a smile.

Pardon me if I walk around like Mick Jagger all day I am practising my rock persona. I have mapped out my outfit in my head. Not telling. Jared and I are rehearsing immediately after I hit enter. I have the tingles. What’s that feeling. Excitement? AKA pumped? Yeah. That. Already been chatting it up with some other acts on the bill I am 1000% starstruck in advance. Butterflies. flutterflies. That is the vibe. Drink-free day 4 and it’s New Year’s Eve this is a recipe for Raymdisaster.

BTW I don’t always only wear one shirt here. This is one shirt twice and someone obsessively does laundry so it’s pretty chill. I dress horribly in stoney creek because I am a jerk. I wore my thermal pants which are essentially long johns aka underwear for every errand including bowling yesterday. We see Lindsay dinner jackets often. You know what those are? Those plaid thermal work coats men wear. THIS close to wearing/getting one. It’s like a burlier version of a Canadian Tuxedo. Don’t knock it til ya try it.

I enjoyed that candy cane.

Part of my outfit tonight. Man the chick who helped me was so frosty. Eastern European women have asbergers, not one fucking little laugh or smile out of them. I bought this full price lipstick because she was so super mean! Wouldn’t even give me a deal. At least I had a gigantic box of tampons in my hand at the time you stupid bitch (this is stand-up style mateial delivery don’t be offended) hello can’t you see I am on my period here BE NICE TO MEEEEE! God it was awkward and then bf comes over and I’m like here can you hold this please and pass him the box. This lady did not pick up on any of the humour in this situation, it really irritated me.

Good but gross after awhile.

I don’t even know what I am looking at.

Have a chill NYE everyone! See you tonight. Boylord goes on at 11pm in the basement then our best friend Buck 65 is after us!!!

The party will be on the 6pm CBC news!

don’t hate-read your life away

Hiya fartosaurus rex! I’m on day 2 of no drinking again, which you’re not even really supposed to bother mentioning until day 4 because then wise asses with pictures of booze in their hands start popping up all over the place. Clem pretty much laughed in my face on day 6 when we played the central. So whatever. Are you supposed to only say something after a year of sobriety then casually point out hey its been a year? Who cares all I am saying is the power of this blog content is currently not fueled by breakfast in Russia. #vodka

It’s fueled by this now. Spiiicy.

And while I’m at it this is my favourite song right now. Must make concerted moves not to always and only talk about myself here. I want to do oldschool fluff blogging again. In theory. Like a top ten list of stupidity. Lists? People like them right? I also thought I might bring back the poll, so haters can show themselves. My first one will be: Do you like the band name Boylord? 1. yes 2. no 3. fuck you. I’m guessing 3 is going to be the reigning wiener of that one. See! Fun shit like that. #BLOGS!

Had a little reminder the other day why I don’t like drinking anymore. Yes because it is so fun feeling brain damaged all the time.

Speaking of Boylord, we are playing this epic little party on New Years Eve, I don’t know if you recall me mentioning it a million times before previously but in any case it’s a fact. Strombo hyped it. Buck 65 will be there. I am going to be dressed in something NEW & FANTASTIC. Here is the flyer! Dave Love is playing with us. #legendary

TEN YEARS. Guaranteed to see celebrities hipsters musicians cool people arty people too cool for school eccentrics the best of the best. I am also bartending. Come bring me presents and film my band we go on at 11 sharp and our setlist is adorable. I even tried on my wizard peacock caftan. Which I think I’m going to sell.

Gonna be good times.

Here we are rehearsing She’s not me with an effect.

and without.

Psyched to do this live. I’m going to do dance moves.

Lol.

Gonna hit the mall today and get something to wear.

Holy cheekbones. That’s what two weeks of not drinking will do to ya I guess. I ate a bag of candy last night. I’m going to cut my candy intake in half this time around.

Hair game on point. I’d say en pointe but we aren’t talking about ballet here, people. Speaking of on/en, there is a truck that is parked in my lot that has a “baby ON route” magnet stuck to it that enrages me. The baby ON your route is gonna be a dumb baby like you. It’s good to know there is a baby ON your route, dipshit! uGHHH.

Yesterday was one for the pretty party books lemme tell ya! Anyway, cold packs work nice cos your eyeballs are like burning lightbulbs and eventually get too hot, helps get the swelling down plus good for headaches and feeling trapped alone in fear beneath the eye shades to think about your stupid fucking hangover like a wittle baby. hahaha. My friend is messaging me about his gigantic hangover right now and it is amusing as all fuck to me. Thank god for the friends we maintain correspondences with. Actually I’m going to do more website writing for him. Three cheers for friend-client relationships hahah did copywork for him before and it blew him away. Anyway.

Was so fungry yesterday. Fungover. Had a gyro afterward these eggs charlotte were not enough to satisfy my funger games. Had a salad for dinner.

Caught up with Sarah cos she was around the corner and FINALLY got what happened with he the night Jian Ghomeshi drove her home from that Travis concert we brought her to. Long story short he creeped her out. I told her she should sell her story somehow, so if you actually want to know you can contact me. #shameless.

Had a bit of a chill so had a hot bath.

A table of Tinder boys.

I think I might look hot with a trillion nose earrings maybe.

Made a salad.

Shower time excellent!