Raymi in the Sky with Diamonds

Ready for cloud watching geekery? I only say that because I don’t want to offend the old people by saying cloud porn oops too late. People will literally get mad about everything anything if you let them.

and now there is a Raymbo. Remind me to take a picture of my Raymbo Brite custom heels and the back story is bananananananas too.

Some wild sky gazing things going on up there lately, storms, crazy winds blowing it all around, gorgeous sunsets seeing them from high up or in various other settings we so happen to adventure upon.

One girl on twitter saw a mushroom, while another…

saw a frog. Cuuuuuute.

Ships don’t lie.

Ghostbusters sky. I make that reference a lot.

Thank you Kathy. If you can believe it, Minx sent me a check years ago to get Minxed and blog about it that is how I met Kathy and we bonded, girl did we ever. She found some of these in her kit and mailed them to me. I was like how do I even do this without you? She sent me the video of Diane Keaton doing her own Minx manicure during quarantine faaaaaaaaabulous woman. So I put a few on yesterday, I need a better file and shall share once I refine this art. Also, raymi the minx + minx nails, are you kidding me how could they resist?

Sentimental model airplane field so much sky activity but no model plane geeks to be seen this windy-ass day. We wandered over to the dog park and got psyched about a future bike ride up here for picnic and walkabout boy, dog people sure are weirdos! This guy said you can’t come in without a dog (being a real jokester there) and we realised he was screwing with us and he got a big kick out of his comedy. I could spy an Irish Wolfhound from the model plane airport those things are so big but yeah, dog people man. Far out.

Dork tables. I accidentally said it once and now it’s what we call them. Can’t wait til we show up and people actually be flying planes here. A guy was taking a break in his city garbage truck though it’s a nice spot to hide but like aren’t you on the clock bro? We didn’t snitch just on my blog here in secret haha.

We spent an evening here when it was cold during the beginnings of the pandemic so that is why I am precious about it but also it’s an excellent spot no. yes. The security showed up by the end of our date (back in March), we realised there are cameras everywhere so they saw everythiiiiing. A guy simply rolled up, politely stayed in his car as we got our shit together and out of there. It’s something we still laugh about. So like, they saw us playing frisbee and football, eat a roast chicken off the back of bf’s car, have a loud car speaker-phonecall with my mom, other stuff etc.

Sorry I lost steam. Ta-ta for now. T G I F.

bloviate, blog & breathe

Hi guys I’m back! What day is it, ohhhh it’s Monday. Cool cool ‘nother day in paradise coupled by heatwave which is supposedly breaking into a lightning thunderstorm later on to level out dat goddamn heat.

Oh my god ADD be strong let’s get through this, brain you can do it. Had to literally tell my bf don’t talk to me like I am here but I am not haha. Everyone in my family has ADD it has been a life-long possibility for me that I have largely ignored but I see it in all of us and it’s the British way not to scandalize or address but yeah, there it is.

I guess it’s obvious and present in every blog post that I write because you literally have no idea where this is gonna go nor do I and that’s fine I just take a deep breath and dive in. It’s a Kerouac thing not to humble-brag but I am related to that guy and you can kinda tell how mad I am and if you knew who he was I guess you can make a correlation. I have been in a love affair with writing since I was a kid and why did I stop, so many reasons.

You know what is also hard about blogging? Aside from the fact that I’m taking myself off of other channels to be here? (Oh the struggle) but again I digress.. the choosing of pictures is what throws me because I over-obsess and my style-choice of how I am showcasing things here, I know nothing else? It’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks, ew I said it. NO not ew, because I am proud of this I distinctly recall being 19 years old during the (first) height of my blog fame something I should actually speak about what that was like, I’ll put a pin in it for now but holla holla that’s a goodie.

I always have these negative mean things in my head when I am writing here it’s every mean thing I have heard people say about me and boy there are doozies, that is another roadblock BUT f that shit because haters gonna hate you, just don’t let them trip you up.

I tend to hold on to it for a bit before I erupt and let them know how wrong they are. How they have mistreated me but I know that people fight the battle when the war is already won so it be what it be and that is why they lash out. It typically has more to do with them, not you, but still they try to mess with your life and can succeed. I do not ever forgive it. I stand in my power and my worth and how dare you. I just have experienced a lot of meddling lately it has been exhausting and hurtful. I am still wicked pissed about it and the anger is nowhere close to cleared yet.

Every piece of negativity that you put out there 100% will come back to you. Cruelty too. If you feel low, then stop the grudge you are holding on to. The hate. Let it go because all you are doing is hurting people but mostly in the end it is you you’re hurting most and nobody needs that dysfunction anymore. Some people are trying to be happy and live harmonious lives without conflict there is enough going on in the world for plenty to eat and they’ve had enough. Demonizing people and painting a bad picture of them to suit your own needs is no one’s gain. Cruel intentions are quite unbecoming. Thank you for the flowers but where is the apology. See: worst birthday of my life.

However, speaking of ADD previously… I’m currently helping my man with a golf ball FB Marketplace post and flexing my skills and for some reason mobile wouldn’t work to upload the listing but now we’ve got it sorted from my desktop I am happy I can help and make use of my copywriting technical skills. I am grateful to be blogging here and now too booboos… anyway he’s setting up his dream stereo system right now too which deserves its own post.

When people embrace their passions, like me blogging for instance, then you help one another and bring each other up – that is how it is supposed to be. You can’t rise up if you’re squashing yourselves or being squashed. I have always been a read-between-the-lines sort of blogger and anger is distracting so this is my therapy doing this. I need to get it out to move on and when I have been disrespected so rudely why should I not get my turn to speak my mind.

Now, actually moving on but if the person who all that was meant for read it, good. I am willing and waiting to have an open dialogue with you at your leisure but if not, cool then. I just find alienating people only continues the abusive, toxic situation. I have heard everything you said about me. I’m not being afraid to write here anymore because of people’s judgments. Period.

Speaking of that too, do you know that the woman who has cyber-stalked, harassed, bullied, and terrorized me for 15 years is actually finally behind bars??? See. People been messing with me all over for a long time and now I can speak out about it.

It’s a massive story but again I had to just “ignore it” forever but I always kept my eye on her and BOOM she has priors. When you are a blogger on the web, influencer, you will attract crazy people. My friends who are also in my scene have all gone through it, being trolled and harassed in so many horrible ways!!! I never breathed attention into it here too much in order to minimize it although over the years I am sure you have seen me go off about it when it boiled over too much for me to handle and all you guys could do is watch, no one could properly help me. I have had a sick woman emulate me, torment, attack me on-and-on for 15 years, drag me through the coals and gaslight me. If you saw her channels you would be sickened.

I am so thankful that she is in jail now on $50,000 bail no one put the 10% ($5000) up to get her ass out of there she is that heinous and all it took was someone else for her to harass and threaten holy smokes. I am still triggered and sensitive about it so will discuss at a later date kk it is still on-going.

Day-to-day life is pretty chill, we is happy. :) I have rolled my ankle twice though playing sports with bf so now we don’t do that it really needs to heal, lesson learned. Walking, hiking, biking is what I can handle maybe the odd toss of lacrosse but football and frisbee is too dangerous because the competitive athlete comes out and results in my ankle literally folding and it’s traumatic plus sets us back. My ankle crumpled a second time because the first time thought it was better but not really healed yet and I was running backward to catch a spiral and hit a divot in the grass – boom. Dunzo. My right ankle ballooned up like a ball. I have teeny ankles and well I gotta pay more attention. I have pain flashbacks still it’s quite scary but I did it to myself so I am not looking for sympathy only just gabbin’ with you.

And so we went on this walk in this cute little part of a trail when I was still newly afflicted we went light and easy but we had a great time and were considerate and cute to each other blah blah wildflowers everywhere… I have been feeling guilty about being happy lately, feeling nervous about it I am protective of it very much so. How terrible is that? Like, it’s “not fair?” I am not talking BLM well maybe a bit but mostly from all that other shit I made mention of before like when you say you’re happy people take it away from you or try to they really do which is sickening and mentally ill of them if you ask me.

Pride comes before a fall but I am not prideful I am grateful and know the difference between a low and a high and always find a silver lining in times like many people should cultivate the fine skill of self-preservation, stop, smell your roses.

This made me laugh and reminded me of a time we had to park in a field in Holland like an over-flow lot and the grass was so thick and tall but all the cars there are tiny ridiculous Euro things and you drive in to like an everglades-effect and you slam your door shut on all these tall grasses.

Went for a me-time spin on my bike this day I have a lot of memories of this pier and the waterfront in Burlington in general and consider it a happy place. I’m a people watcher so it always brings the goods. I scratched a lottery ticket made a couple calls which resulted in ME being the watched one lol then rode home to bf’s dinner made for us. Happy day.

Airing out things that bother you with having a platform to do it on I gotta admit feels freeing in a way unlike any other, sometimes scary the “power” but if people have made you feel so small, insignificant, and inferior for a long time why be afraid to call them out why should they get away with it?

Chickens come home to roost.

Another milestone is getting into shape again and feeling more confidence in myself, my body, my spirit, my all and there isn’t anything wrong with that I am still very much annoyed at the nasty things I have heard. I do not trash other women. It’s gross to me when I hear others bash me, like, you should know better. If you want to feel validated in your shittiness then yes, you have done damage. To us both.

Onwards and upwards, have a great week y’all.

Never be afraid to be happy, that is the take-away.

hike up your life

What’s up beauties, are ya ready to vibe out to some relaxing blog? kk sames.

You seem stressed have a glass of relaaaaaax.

Keeping it slow and low out here in burbia like I like it. We cranked’er up a notch in Toronto for an afternoon a night and an afternoon so I could break out my summer wardrobe… my duds I packed away in a box and stored up above in my apartment layout for a season and it is nice to be reunited with my fashions. I have enough out here but wearing the same outfit-style all the time more or less when you’re a peacock and your bf’s stuff is all around you, you get cagey and you cannot adequately express yourself style-wise.

Actually we are both a bit’a fashionistas but tend to ‘err on the side of “garbage” normcore a lot when we’re alone lol so hot.

He has this pair of khakis that when I ask him to hold my phone it falls through a hole in the side-pocket and hits the ground. They’re actually my favourite. We embrace the skid life. Literally doing any and every thing we can to entertain and amuse ourselves.

Toronto gave me anxiety to be honest all of Thursday up until the afternoon then I was fine. I did apartment viewings for a unit in the building both days for my friends, whom are also my landlords. More on the viewings later and I had anxiety because my neighbourhood there is off the chains: summertime and living there is C R A Z Y. The Window News never disappoints let’s be honest but anyway I have a crop of friends who live on Front and we always light it up at Sugar Beach when it’s summer, so that we did. Tashina picked us up in her convertible and we blasted on down. Bf noticed the crew already there and party was a-go.

There aren’t any bathrooms down by that beach though so you have to get creative and it is disgusting the only two areas everyone uses for a toilet. This Covid life is so degrading in many ways but I’m outdoorsy with ample outdoor whizzing experience… I even got my mom on board – ladies, just always BYOTP and you’ll be good.

I just think it’s hard existing in the city or any urban setting during the summer you truly feel trapped in a concrete jungle I feel for the people I do. I am the people but I always have a base I can flee to in the burbs or made sure of it well yeah being the only one of my particular tribe to also ride the rails in the city but as for now I am “over it”.

Time seems to have flown by since April. I spent the worst birthday of my life alone thanks to covid and some meddling of others suffice to say, but yes it’s June now and that’s all behind us but I remember everything, every detail, because a lot of living has been packed into that time since before now.

It’s been domestic bliss more or less shaking the cobwebs out and adjusting to new dwellings which has been fun coupled by anxiety. The thing is, everyone is going through some form of shit right now. We have seen behind the curtain of errrryone’s bullshit and there is no hiding. Deaths, closings of businesses, BLM having a well-deserved huge moment which I will also be addressing – this was supposed to be a fluff post as in, a breather-log so as to not say all the things I really would rather air, got me? Y’always do.

Nature is religion to me right now and I feel as though I have waded through enough hoops of hell to get to this place where I am at. It’s hard for people to be happy for themselves or for others but also to just enjoy what you’ve got your ample privilege like it’s hard to just be happy with your day? Really? You are so fortunate maybe you have a bit of money in your pocket it’s summer now finally yeah the world is sincerely going to shit at the moment but look at the bright side if there is one. Be grateful. Gratitude isn’t that hard it’s just you’ve become hardened. It’s hard to appreciate what’s right up in front of your own nose and why nobody knows but, just live your truth as best you can and look around you. You have more than you know.

People are at their happiest when they are doing what they are meant to be doing. Like right now I’m happy because I am doing this and my bf is happy because he is scrubbing a bunch of golf balls. You do what works for right now, you putter and you come together, you may fight but you just keep doing you and if you’re lucky you become symbiotic and there’s a flow.

I am re-reading my favourite book right now Rule of the Bone I may have spoken of it before here but I am sure there’s newbies who I do not expect to dig back although I am always delightedly surprised when readers are like oh yeah I remember that. Or dream about me.

Anyway, Rule of the Bone is by Russell Banks and there is a lot of Rastafarianism wisdom in it I found it in my library in highschool and was instantly shook. I also read the Darling by the same author and I recco both to you but yeah to re-acquaint myself with this literature I see my true self again and the girl I was when I first found it and how the world has changed since, it has aged well but it accurately encapsulates an era of grunge and also includes a motorcycle gang and triggering sexual misconducts too, yikes.

The best parts of it however is when the protagonist goes to Jamaica and before that when he’s living on a school bus in an abandoned field and meets his Rasta buddy I say no more except you really get to nail down your Patois when you are reading this shit and your skiddy dialect altogether and as a writer, personally, I need to read it’s like breathing in and out – to write you need to read you need your salt and you need your pepper too.

I feel like I have been consuming way too much and have read the entire internet I need to come back to creating content again but mostly for me (not for you no offense), but yeah of course part of me is interested in seeing where this goes and who cares who knows I mean if you’re gonna do it just do it and shut up right haha.

People would say I punch you in the face with my writing and then punch you again with a picture okay maybe I just said that about myself and am paraphrasing like if they even say anything about me at all I also am always just practicing comedy here too and if you’re not in on the joke or get it you can go into a hate-reading mode it is nothing new to me like why does she do this or that? Maybe just appreciate that I do it at all and stop questioning it because I have asked nothing of you.

A rock pile near our friend’s place no can’t divulge the co-ordinates my mom has adorned my nana’s garden with the rocks she finds but has since let-up a little on taking them because they are for all to enjoy. One of the silver linings of this pandemic is the creativity you get to experience via others finally geeking-out and flexing those parts of themselves right??? yes.

Aw my heart.

Wow, great uhh, address. Lol.

Can you believe I waited this long until posting a selfie? I am “making a point”.

I love this donut so much thank you for injecting some kitsch in to Burlington thanks a bunch for really reals.

Pretty sweet have a bud who lives so close to us with a backyard set-up like so.

My chalk art was trying to do tropical sunsetting I googled it was aiight but a bit hot messy in the end we all drew a bunch of stuff love this bike path very much so.

haha our car’s reflection.

I got yelled at over the bullhorn we still make fun of it just let it roll off yer back everything is comedy pretty much right now.

This was a surprise location hike there’s lots to explore out here.

Alrighty, my fingers are tired and it’s a heatwave it’s time to do the thing, live the life — this has been great. To be continued I will be back with more.

As always,

your pal Raymi

oh and ps. if you need a lot of golf balls for a good price, get in touch lol.

Blogging in 2020 vision

First of all, Happy New Year guys. 2020 holy shit eh! I mean, I had some resolutions but I already broke them so, there’s always 2021 to try again and I won’t be beating myself up about it or losing any (some) sleep either so let’s just move on right now. Yesterday I sent myself all the photos for this post which knocked the wind right out of me (it is SO boring) so I shifted this post to write for today instead. However, the problem with that is I am a different person today than the one yesterday who had all these thoughtful and sentimental feelings about said images. We will see what happens next, hopefully some brilliance and laughs not entirely at my expense.

(ps the plugin at the top is being fixed so ignore the Instagram block up to the left my bad!)

Went to Niagara Falls last Sunday, or, on Sunday. Hit a few wine tastings en route there (trius, peller, this place vintners?) which was hella fun. bf had tickets we had 16 glasses so like 2 flights at each place. We have packed a lot of activity in the past few weeks so bare with me here.

Please have a bathroom in the future for your wino custies. It was bad enough it was pissing rain #onstorm that we drove through to get there making the adventure seem all the more insane. Looking at wine merch when you’re blasted is super fun/ny too. I buckled at two pink glasses that say “Bubbly” in gold on them like I totally would.

Speaking of, Blow Up’s 25th Jubilee was so fun. Saw many people from the past maaaaaan, so good. The top floor was caving in and kind of thrilling being up there and also below on the first floor, it was bumping I was “concerned” lol.

This was a tame snippet feat. some of my select moves. Did you know if you go in my archives (please don’t) you can find stories about mod club from when I was 19, and blow up was the sister to that night in Toronto.

Groovy times.

What movie does this make you think of? If you said The Irishman you are correct. Even the door is red. Scorsese on that foreshadowing a bloody killing tip son don’t think I didn’t notice I studied that mother-frigging movie and got in no less than 5 facebook fights as the world was watching it on netflix with their wrong opinions to boot. Ya I said it.

5 Stars for cuteness.

Foodie pic blindside swish! This is what I ate after all that wine I was hangry af and I was worried about getting in the pool after all that food but no worries there as the pool was too disgusting anyway, we just sat there and watched the awful view while digesting before heading up to run a bubble bawth. It was a covert opps mish smuggling our two pieces of buffet pizza which we had for breakfast ahahaha.

I incorporated my bathing suit into my outfit because, Raymi but also because this sucks me in I was doing a lot of wine and eating and thinkers gotta think yo. This is after Wine Stop 1 at the same location. It rained all day and night.

Christmas evening sorry I feel obligated to jam up this post with the requisite amount of raymi pictures I don’t even like this one!

New Year’s day, this was not enough and the amount of chicken and cheese were dismal not to be a complainer. We were, you guessed it, hungry. It’s butter chicken poutine fyi. One 2020 resolution is to eat out less and cook more. Seeing other friends on FB do the same too which is hilarious and inspiring to me because I know some of these cats are majorly addicted to going out so I am just waiting for the next restaurant picture to pop up and putting money on it secretly in my head and when it happens I will screenshot and send this part of my blog post fahaha #petty.

I asked him if he would still love me if I looked like this. He said, “it would be hard.”

The best thing about Niagara Falls is the nostalgia. It reminds me of the 80’s and being there in the 80’s and the crazy confused memories a kid conjures from that wild carny tourist traphole like the worst thing about NF is all the people amiright.

Jumping back to Christmas now. Enjoyed the fishnets and my flashy red polish, Mr. Rogers doc on in the bg. Think of someone more pure than Mr. Rogers, I’ll wait.

Oh hi Nana!

We died at this omfgggg too perfect. It is still funny.

Started doing these timer kiss portraits cos why the hell not. Maybe someday down the line will reveal the ridiculous way in which we got togeths. I am hesitant to TMI, I mean, I’ll totally TMI some things but not others. Will just have to continue watching haha.

While we are two peas in a pod in the classic sense, only one of us is a Leafs fan so the chirp-game is strong. I think he secretly likes them, deep, very, very, very deep down, somewhere. There is appreciation.

Thank you for the 1 tiny bottle of shampoo, super generous of ya but seriously the VIP parking was great and the later check-out too. bf’s golf umbrella went inside out as we were walking the falls at night in the rain didn’t matter really anyway because it was misty from all directions the umbrella was pointless. Then I lost $50 at the casino but it was my decision, Gamblor got a hold of me I needed to stare at skids, drink a beer, and throw money in the garbage. Should have cashed out at $70 but then you keep thinking you may build and build but you don’t you just crash. I love Roulette. I was watching Molly’s Game last night and she says poker is a game of skill, roulette is chance. So it means there’s a chance!!! lmfao.

Marie recommended this beauty app which is obvi not from Canada but I love it so shut up.

Yes it’s a beauty filter but it looks mostest like me I think. I am blessed with plump lips but they ain’t this plump so I have considered Kylie Jennering my lips thanks to seeing how much hotter I could look.

Yeah it’s a bit much lol. My Raybans are MIA, I put them aside on NYE and haven’t seen them since. boohoo. Update: FOUND. In a secret pocket chamber of the many pockets in my new coat.

We did a Christmas city circuit starting from my hood and it was a secret surprise to have a drink in the art deco lobby bar at Royal York which was slammed with fancies so we peaced after snooping around. It smelled like gingerbread from the actual gingerbread house they built in there.

Anyone else experiencing post-Christmas blues? This might be the Christmas blog in to February there’s still a lot of stuff to cover here.

A favoured place to pee when passing through neighbourhoods.

It was a magical Christmas, alright.

This is another great new place near me.

Went to Casa Loma on New Year’s Day, walk through Wychood and to the tunnel of glam on St. Clair. Will post that another time.

I’ve been to a wedding here, a medieval faire, and a Film fest party – all humongously epic experiences each in their own right.

Horses lived here.

Swoon.

Smiling Buddha on NYE we rocked the coat check. Fucking awesome. We were like whats up for new years, one of us needs to plan and chart out the coming week and one of us is like let me breathe we will figure it out anyway making $ versus spending money was a why not plus a duh, let’s do it I was in the throes of tweeting the job posting for them and thought fuck it why don’t we do this?

And it was a grand time. If things aren’t fun then you won’t find me there that’s my life motto.

Getting these aligned was a process but team work makes the dream work.

When you are a walking instagram what do you expect. The best was he was so oblivious to me but everyone else was zeroing in so I had to deke them out then go for the kill, piss off lcbo’ers mind ya business.

Lovely drives thru country snow, very good balance to my city life. Sometimes the concrete jungle is legit so claustrophobic don’t get me wrong I have loved every neighbourhood (save for one) that I’ve lived in in the city – if we made a map/tshirt out of it, it would be so very populated like people who thumbtack world maps for all their trips and travels mine is like that except Toronto neighbourhoods (plus LA Maine Brooklyn UK Holland Aruba Miami Vancouver blabbity blah…), like many people too I am sure. In short, if you sublet and you hate it, you just leave it. Boom.

We re-watched both The Hangover movies because it makes us laugh our brains out. The little things yeah.

See the falls over yonder.

We combed the Fallsview casino mall because it was cold af there outside by the falls and maybe I was cranky, I have seen this before are shitty things you say haha actually I was about to have meltdown number 1 okay hear me out, we were walking uphill in a wind tunnel and I said okay this isn’t fun anymore right before he could say anything my hat blew away right off my head up in the air in a big arc and backwards down the hill behind me into a group of people getting off a bus I had to haul ass down to get it before it got another gust of wind beneath it and a little kid jumped to it just before I did, nice kid, everyone had heard the bang of the brim of my hat hitting the sidewalk so I heard a cluster of Spanish tourists gasp it is funny as hell in hindsight but he knew I was about to full blown lose it so he grabbed me by the hand and dragged me up the hill in a sweet way but yeah, I was losing it.

We had our own lookout observation area it was very relaxing plus 80’s tunes were playing it’s always mesmerizing staring at the falls.

Girrrrrrrrrrrrl.

Okay I’s gots to bounce it’s been a slice have things to do so bon weekend see you soon happy 2020 xoxo your pal Raymi.

I feel as though I’m coming out of a fog

…and like myself again. It feels good to be back but where that is, who knows who cares I have done a lot of pretentious self-reflection self love self care weird fucking things this summer I dunno. I isolated myself. I took’er easy. Any way I will be working my way backward through my phone of the things that are still there on it that I did this summer and the thoughts that I had while doing them and that will be that. In the blink of an eye the season t’was over but it’s not officially done until sept 21 So. There.

Oh my god if you saw the set-up I am dealing with right now to get wifi into my own apartment you would die I am trying so hard not to be a bitch and just roll with it but add loud hammering into the fold louder because my door is wide open to get the signal using a stool as a table and my shoe rack as a mouse pad rest even moving it a fraction to the left cuts it off so where I thought I was on easy street before on my micro-kitchen counter…I download netflix movies from my account so that I can binge them in bed by nightfall I am too annoyed and embarrassed to show a picture here I sent one to Marie and she was like girlllll get Rogers I didn’t want to get into it here! but maybe the secret to maintaining an audience (like women in China livestreaming do) is to complain and share every fucking mundane thing that I roll my eyes at other people sharing on Facebook and yet… read every goddamn bit of it myself.

I have been back in the city a couple weeks now? Going on week 3? I spent a month abouts in Burlington, from Wasaga, to Oakville and all I had packed were bathingsuits and one pair of shorts that I wore all summer LMFAO… anyway we will get back to that. But anyway since I have been home in Toronto NO WIFI. The Super was my wifi hookup and he moved out. I refuse to spend one more fucking dime on anything period in this city if I can help it especially since there is pre-existing wifi in our building already this whole time unbeknownst to me, and a strong signal at that if you can bloody reach it, or speed, at least when my door is open and I am perched over my laptop like an arachnid from District 9 (look it up) my fucking back is killing me bruh.

Now I can bundle my phone package with internet right? Wrong. But then the guy at rogers is like wait I can get you a good deal. Brother man fuck you. Don’t act all back door special with me I have had my account since I was 19, I am 36, do the math I am paying you way too fucking much already. Even if I bit the bullet we still need to figure out where the fuck to install it in this old-ass building. Why the hell would I even go get my own modem when it’s already here and we just need an extender on the existing modem down the fucking hall from me I can see right now I am legit on my last nerve — fix this yesterday. Was told will just go by the computer store on College 2 weeks ago and it hasn’t happened I am beyond pissed. I am also SICK of having my door OPEN – it isn’t safe. Maintenance dudes keep looking in AT me too as a bonus while I am typing here on a stool. I will probably delete this but I needed to explode. I am annoying them they are annoying me. They can hear my same twenty songs I play over and over.

Other than that I am doing great and very happy ahhaha sorry! Not lying.

I am glad with the things in my life that I do which make me happier at a later point in time when I look at my photos and in the moment I have this obsessive compulsion to capture and hoard experiences and then self-reflect maybe share a fraction of my adventures later on I have been doing this for the majority of my life it is my truth and it’s how I sought to attract my tribe, anyone, who would listen to and see me.

I see poets as roving packs of magic creatures, demented, lovingly so besought by their wariness and experience I eat it up. I fill my head up with so much fantasy to self-preserve and contain my way, in which I need to constantly justify my nature? Truth be told I am comfortable in who I am, arrogant, and also afraid. It is an adrenaline at your backside. Think twenty minutes of anxiety every twenty minutes and that is how I live.

you have to make amends with everything before you can suffer nothing before you can be everything you ever wanted to be.

We’re always thinking of little schemes and ideas for me to hone my talents which are so fucking good like a how to online date thing where I tell newbs what to watch out for because let me tell ya I have been a bible of wisdom for my squad in their new time of swipings prime of recent.

I just have this life I dreamt of before when i was so enamoured by hipsterism kooky aesthetic and am now trapped by it because living in Toronto is so expensive when I leave this place they will slap paint on and charge $2000 for it so I am like fighting the man and the power and everyone always anywhere anytime.

I need my mister dress-up lifestyle I look to other institution peoples like myself in Toronto, how they are fairing, and some have all become lampoons of themselves by design, by necessity, and by need to survive. We all have had our own successes, failures, fall-backs. BUT most importantly COMEBACKS and I am here for it! I so support my fellow Toronto celebs my music industry pals who helped MAKE ME. ILU 4EVR #Gratitude #blessed.

NOW on to my next annoying topic to rant about which is purely self-inflicted toxicity of my own actions embedded deep within a place of my disgusting vanity and vulgur as it is I find it hard to justify looking pale in the winter time I am only angry at myself for not freezing my account for two months of the summer such waste throwing money in the garbage and tanning salons are crooks in the bests of times you have to show up and do paperwork like a gym like uhhm no one has time to even consider the sheer terror of that.

Perhaps you find what I find in this blog style vein of an art-form to be antiquated, outlandish out of style but it is normal to me. I never knew but of anything else and to even fucking second guess it is a travesty.

How greedy with your time are you? Because I am so far gone indulgent with mine I was JOMO before that ever existed like putting your state of being in a physical valium existence this is what Netflix does to us today it’s just too good too easy to watch through a cinematic lens parallel to our facebook landscape connections to those we knew years ago.

And getting back to basics of doing irl things is utterly amazing. As an adventure thrill-seeker you fill the chambers of the void with constant doing the older you get because you finally know and fear and realize how limited time truly is.

Nothing makes me feel more emotional, more poetic, more depressed, than autumn. If it were a person I would punch it in the face, buy it drinks, and ghost it. Because you know what comes next. Sacrifices are fun and all unless you’re the cat on the pyre. Winter is LONG. I think the majority of my blog posts are about how much I fucking hate winter. Wow.

I’ll just take a sec to switch gears here and breathe.. LOL.

Nothing bothers me but everything makes me insane.

Relate?

I come up with these lines all day long I wish I would just write them down make a set out of them. This is the start. This is a preclude to a podcast.

the things that you admire, inspire, and you let shine out through and you remember that moment again and what it reminded you of so sweetly, to begin with.

If you want to go somewhere from 1909 go to Allan Gardens. Bring a b cup, a marie antoinette glass (coup glass) cos she had b cup sized tits ha ha I love that!

Took in two softball games ate shawarmas it was lovely.

It got cold though. Made do.

All in all a great summer it has been. I went all over and was a beach bum as much as poss.

SO here is the story of my Christmas blanket. Since nobody asked. Two Christmas parties ago I was a marketer for an agency and I lost my receipt for all the Christmas crap I bought for the Christmas staff party and they were like Raymi we can’t reimburse you for that so I was like fine THIS BLANKET IS MINE NOW plus all these elves. lmao.

I left behind lots of shit there is no love lost I just think it’s funny. I bought it for this couch we had in the office Tess suggested I cover it up with something as a last ditch effort Dollarama came through. Those girls loved me Valentines day Easter St Patricks Christmas Canada day Halloween those were good times sigh. I’d go to Dollarama her beside my place before work and pick out fun ass things to put together on display for instagram and clients and candy for the team for morale.

See that bee.

They were everywhere.

I went to pee and came back with crayons and we had a colouring contest had a girl impartially judge who was better and we won against my boy Troy sorrryyyyyyyyy we only had three colours to work with.

Love this beach, bish.

We found a discarded bubble disc I have no other way of knowing how to describe it but anyway it was essentially a frisbee so we tossed it back and forth until it broke for a good 20 minutes I stood on top of the rock formation because it was the last place the sun was hitting and it was such a perfect game of frizz I felt like an Olympian all these moments I shotgun to my heart to get me through winter my least spirit animal.

So happy to live so close to here.

and to here.

So centrally located to many places it’s why I live where I live and I take it because it’s a gem and when I lived in the beaches I felt the same melancholy temporariness that it was living anywhere in Toronto but I am grateful for what I have right now so that’s that! It’s fucking cool it’s unique it speaks to my eccentricities my lone wolfism fuck yeah no roommates.

Oh lord I uploaded way too many photos than actually wanted to deal with so lets to be continued this never-ending story for now thanks guys see ya.

heard u were lookin for me

Hello its been awhile. Thirteen days, to be exact. Which is a short while if you consider my infrequency yadda yadda ya. I’m ready if you are.

I felt like I was in the mood to blog yesterday and today but now here I am and uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Hey is that that “cell phone charger” purse everyone made fun of Kim Kardashian for not too long ago? I think it is or something thereof and now I want it… so small and compact, for all the clubbing that I do not do.

One Christmas, two ago, I showed up to my Nana’s wearing this and my mom was wearing a red plaid shift dress too. We have had this happen many times over the years it’s a cosmic like mother like daughter thing, with no prior planning or talking, it just happens.

This post is just an old fashioned smattering. Blogging for the sake of blogging. Blog and telling. Honestly, the good things that happen just from pressing publish here sometimes y’all might just try it for yourselves huh? Talk less shit and do more shit.

How to make friends: buy some.

Hi girls.

Bedridden all weekend basically movie after movie bender. We went out for Mr. Greek Sunday early night and it was DEAD. The soup sucked. The salad, okay.

I don’t mind the post apocalyptic vibe after watching infinity end of the world movies this weekend. This setting would be trashed if that were real. I know they hooked it up with Dollarama decorations as there was one in the parking lot and I used MY BRAIN.

Looked normal but was bland. Needed soup all the same ah suppose.

Not the best foodie photo in terms of subject.

On my walk home the other night. This store always has a cute display alack I’m not into clutter I have enough but I appreciate the artwork. We are drawn to things that remind us of things we once experienced or owned, another time period.

I’m blessed I don’t have a sweet tooth. I love photographing sweets though, decadent, colourful, darling confectionaries that they are. I can’t walk by a Fortino’s bakery showcase without getting whiplash on my phone camera arm capturing those bad boys fast enough. Stay tuned on this though I just recalled something I have coming down the pipeline for y’all regarding dessert.

I think this is the Kylie lipstick app. It’s basic. I dun curr.

My NEXT post will be about the ADVENTURES OF RAYMARIE. Get it? Marie and me? BYE BRANGELINA.

Big appreciator of the Burlington sunset game. It’s always gorgeous from the vantage point of this parking lot. It is the best I don’t care how much suburban shit is in the way.

Oh hi there you’ve been indoctrinated into the Burlington town club :).

I do it’s true. It stems from year’s back during my early hey day of emo selfies gazing into the lens trying to out-stare myself. I am the subject, I am the artist gazing back at. Some people have resting bitch face, me? Stoic. Because my mind is sizing up everything before me, calculating shit I is busy guy. I also admire the vacancy a la editorial aesthetic.

I love Toronto. You get to go on a magical Christmas adventure everywhere you turn.

Last week Monday and now she’s back in Mumbai honestly one of my greatest lesser known lowkey pals, cos of that whole doesn’t live here thing but we’re all huge fans. Come back soon!

Nostrils check. jk. I was just so tired-looking this day it seemed to be the only flattering angle to get me at. I worked at wework this day because a mystery package arrived of beautiful psychedelic lipsticks and sometimes the universe is like Raymi here, you need some more disco in your life and you are like yasss bitch!

This lipstain stays on hours so I don’t have to feel naked lipped like I normally am. It’s all in the details.

Yesturrrrrrday and I am okay with that.

Always take several variations of the same picture so as to ensure pissing off everybody.

Got these for my Dad lol. We should live in a society where we get paid for a brief review of every item we ever buy as to always be making money back. I’m not wrong. Like, if you wanted to know my thoughts about either of these things? You gotta pay for that even if it’s a shit review you get paid oh the things I would say about this grilled chicken pasta lean cuisine CRAP A LA CRAP right now. There is my brief review now put $1 into my account thanks bye hahaha.

Nana’s tree on fleek. Always is. Oh but if this tree could talk lol.

Sure I’m down you know it.

Work hallway.

Wedge salad I can still taste, think about, and will eat again.

This is the other bathroom at work it took me a few weeks to even discover. The other one is hella drab so I was like SWEET RELIEF when I discovered this one.

Oh hi there she is!

We shared mussels, the special. Two orders. Patrick from work was there too. It was a very chilly night.

And yes I was as I feel like I do nothing mostly, which is fine I don’t feel the burning sensation to show a non-stop cocktail party lifestyle full of fabulous shit I much enjoy the mundane simple pleasures blah blah but I do like to go out a wee bit to balance it out, the cold weather makes me feel claustrophobic from hibernation at times which makes Toronto ideal because there are just so many various pockets of entertainment for you to explore when you start climbing the walls.

Alright I get it, you get it? Have a good one!

if you hate me get in line

Hey all Happy September!

Boy, time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana Hey-oh!

Hi ma. Nice seein’ ya last week I’ll be in the hood again today so holla at’cher girl.

Instagram stories crop your pic like so. Meh. Sorry for phoning it in, this is us Friday on our way up north.

Yesterday at my friend Tamara’s building. Love these colours.

On my travels last night. I like creepy things… empty, haunting spaces at night.

Yep.

Legendary.

I’m a TTC convert now. Sucks when there’s delays now I get the pain of the city when shit shuts down. Hating myself moreso for allowing the uber addiction and fear of public transportation rule me and my bank account what a waste I am still paying for *swan dives off a cliff*.

Mad love for this work space.

I’d wager that the owner of this Porsche is a fun person.

Or they are colour blind.

Last weekend was beautiful weather more of that, yo!

:)

Two things. First thing, this was terribly hilarious to me at the time and the second thing is I thought it would sell this side of the bed and be more appealing. We fight over not sleeping on the inside of the bed and it worked, well I won but the unicorn didn’t actually help.

The first day of fall is in 3 days, Sept 22 *swan dives off an even bigger cliff*.

Random street pose. Dena my work gal pal indulges this behaviour big time.

I am impressed that the food at the Rhino is not as shitty as I last recall and the service is slightly less offensively slow too. It’s not the Rhino unless you recognize at least 5 people on the patio or walking by, as I did.

Burrito bowl with pulled chicken and tons of basmati rice beneath it was very good and I was an in a state of emotional eating so I ate all of it. Next time I’d share. Sometimes there is no off button for my eating/consumption like some morbidly obese people are afflicted by. I try not to live to eat but eat to live but who am I kidding it’s the former for certain.

There was a fire drill last week so I went here to use the bathroom then bumped into some colleagues and it turned into the best fire drill ever. I was not enthused by it being the day after 9/11 being in a claustrophobic stairwell crammed with people holy jeez. I use those stairs all the time anyway instead of the elevator because I’m a hyper-hypo and also yeah PTSD I need to just flee and not rely on elevators personally, and there’s those types in a crowd who will go slow and fuck it up for the rest of us and then the fast ones who will carve out a path through the herd and guess which type I am.

Another pig out day. This is after we both had a shawarma. Saw a sign for 2 for 9.50 (a great deal!) and it was delicious so much so we stayed and ordered a plate I think I immediately passed out when we got home. Great success! This week I’m doing a healthier thing so shush it up buttercups.

Last Monday or was it Tuesday, was it a long weekend last weekend? Anyway, whatever day this was was so depressing and rainy I hated it. I had to go around town to get some shit done, didn’t realize the agency I was going to had moved. So I got to spend extra time in the rain and I chose this particular course because there was a florist shoppe nearby it was all supposed to pan out from the train station I chose to travel to blah blah I kept it cool but it’s funny all the horrible thoughts that can go through one’s mind when they’re walking in the city rain. It was worth stopping to take this cute pic.

If you’re going to give flowers get something that lasts.

I may or may not have added one of these to the orchids. I JUST CANT HELP IT I’M A JAPANESE GIRL TRAPPED UP IN HURRRR.

Toronto gardens are adorable. I love those limited space ones in L’il Italy or wherever that are jam packed with crazy shit!

If you wanna come by for some backgammon lemme know.

Delish bday drank with Dena. I feel like I got a lot out of summer but I also feel like it whizzed right on by too quickly.

Weird pose I don’t care I love this dress Dena needed to go stress shopping at Winners one day at lunch time and I’m the one who ended up spending more oh well worth it. I love this dress however there is a gigantic black stain on the back from grease or some oil. Sadness. I bet I’ll wear it around xmas time for sure.

Another Raymazing pose don’t care I felt hot this day so I am owning it.

Hi again. This is what happens when you blog once a month you have a collection of hoarded photos.

TTYL thanks for dropping in these super posts take hella long and I promise you won’t have to wait a month for the next one.

You heard the sidewalk.

i’m your villain

Wagwan friends and foes, how’s your August? It’s just flyin’ by eh. Damn.

So this here is a blog post. One of the things I used to do to summarize this life I live and account for some kind of meaningful existence. I used to blog fiendishly around the age of 19 because it justified the partying I did when I lived on Crawford in Lil Italy, Toronto… the reckless behaviour everyone that age does and all of it is written down in this same blog if you can believe it.

I can remember about skipping the line at Mod Club when it was still at Lava lounge. Wednesday night was the night of the Mods in Toronto and Saturdays were Blow Up. I remember watching Esthero talk to the door guy from my spot in line and I said to myself, Raymi, when she fucks off go do the same. And I did. The door guys at Lava recognized me all the time and my annoying pushy ways so I always walked in when they’d wave me passed the peeps waiting in line. We all have had our Club 54 moments and some of us are better at remembering them than others, or bother to write about it.

I have been known to be dramatic. I have always romanticized the moments of my life. Chosen endeavours just so I could write about them or experience that weird thing. The problem is that there became too many things to write about, being so overwhelmed by that and guilted from the pile-up of things I didn’t write about… so you just social media instead. Blogs lost. Drat.

I know people out there still read because I read articles every day. I read the entire internet every day. I know what all the buzzfeed and jezebel news, pop culture, memes, celebrity breakups, deaths, disturbing breaking news stories are at all times my mind is so full of garbage, valuable and not and I am so caught up by it I don’t stop to reflect at all in fact, I crave it even more. Do you hit the hourglass on your twitter search? Well I do and that’s how you get the best fastest trending news.

Haha I love how I just bragged about reading the internet a lot. stfu raymi

I went rock climbing this week. was exhilarating. Lots of adrenaline and a great workout. Will do it again for sure. I am very competitive so if you are, you should give’r a go. We did another feature on Raymi Toronto too, check it out.

I am afraid of heights so I’m glad I could climb and put that thought out of my head. By the end of the class you’re climbing without the harness.

Don’t care how old I get a part of me will always stay young and childlike. Fun keeps you young, young looking, happy, feeling good, all that jazz. Being a miserable crab does you no good. I understand it’s hard for some people to be happy and enjoy their life, it’s partially mental illness for sure (and circumstance). You just have to keep trying. We all go through bad periods and we never think things will get better, but they do. You just can’t wish things to happen you need to take action. When you make changes that’s when good things happen. Change is good.

I think being kind of a goof is God’s doing of helping me self-preserve and protect myself from all you assholes out there. Then he sprinkled self confidence, a big mouth with a rich mind and some good looks c’est voila, work with that. Do I believe in God? I dunno. It’s like, just an expression haha. All our genetic make-ups, DNA, and personality styles that change with evolution and I don’t really know what I’m saying. Some are more cunning than others and most are said to be just, born stupid. Brainwashed masses ordinary types but who is actually smarter, them or us. Blissfully settled normal people or those who feel the pains of the world and try to do something, can’t sleep at night from anxiety and worry… but also know how to spell properly.

Saw my Hair guru Donna Dolphy yesterday and she made me pretty again.

We have a good time and then we hit the fatigue wall and just existed in silence together trying to get through the appt.

This is Dena my work friend we are both ADD meant to be. It’s a blast hanging out with her, talking and walking and girls gotta stick together we both work in boys clubs so, yeah. Luh her.

My bf says he likes leather pants so I tried some on to see what the fuss was about and if I even look good in them. 5lbs lighter, some toning, then we’ll talk.

The many musical minstrels in Toronto warm my heart. Check her out. Bravo and obviously so charming from this angle up here.

I am grateful for my life and everything in it which is why I give back as often as I can, give my time to others, and try to be selfless to balance out the good fortune.

This was after I sneaked up alone and took a selfie. Part of climbing is falling and learning how to land.

This was last Sunday. We aren’t going up this weekend cos we’re goin’ to a wedding elsewhere. Should be fun.

We went for tacos on Monday, good deal. Quality of food….ok for a “smallerish” town. The beef I was not impressed with it was ground like come on make effort. BF said get steak next time then. Agree.

I am in love with the heat right now and it did almost feel like a vacay… okay staycation I hope it stays hot for a long time. If you read my blog in August or September and October it’s the same shit every year you can hear how depressed I am, I mean READ how depressed I am about the weather changing. Oh you love fall? Why? it only leads to winter you idiot which lasts forever so STOP.

:)

Those are my safety shoes. I look like a waitress. Part of the fun of life are the costumes we wear and the manner in which we express ourselves. I like to walk softly and carry a big stick rather than overdo it glamwise. Once in awhile yes I love to dress up-UP like tomorrow I will wear two different outfits, one at the ceremony and one at the reception. I am worried about footwear though.

I asked our work neighbours across the hall to let me look out this window and see if it was raining yet then I had to take a picture I just love a good snoop, passing it along to you.

Dena took this she was like work the angles, and angle, click. Work the angle. And pose. We got it done!!!

The ghost image on the tree + doggy ftw.

that sky

The curls like instantly dropped. Too humid. Lovely while they lasted though.

ok we get it.

Okay that’s the last butt pic for awhile. I will state that I don’t feel it’s right to butt shame me I can’t help having an immaculate ass so much so that just seeing it invokes all kinds of emotions like, it’s my body it’s what I look like if my bathing suit is eaten by it it’s not my fault it’s just legs and ass grow up get over it it’s summer bye bye.

Okay I’ve had enough and you probably have too have a great weekend, don’t be a stranger and remember it’s not about what I look like it’s about the fun I am having.

Live your best life as they say.

BONUS POINTS if you can name the band who does the song that this blog post is titled as.