Hi guys I’m back! What day is it, ohhhh it’s Monday. Cool cool ‘nother day in paradise coupled by heatwave which is supposedly breaking into a lightning thunderstorm later on to level out dat goddamn heat.
Oh my god ADD be strong let’s get through this, brain you can do it. Had to literally tell my bf don’t talk to me like I am here but I am not haha. Everyone in my family has ADD it has been a life-long possibility for me that I have largely ignored but I see it in all of us and it’s the British way not to scandalize or address but yeah, there it is.
I guess it’s obvious and present in every blog post that I write because you literally have no idea where this is gonna go nor do I and that’s fine I just take a deep breath and dive in. It’s a Kerouac thing not to humble-brag but I am related to that guy and you can kinda tell how mad I am and if you knew who he was I guess you can make a correlation. I have been in a love affair with writing since I was a kid and why did I stop, so many reasons.
You know what is also hard about blogging? Aside from the fact that I’m taking myself off of other channels to be here? (Oh the struggle) but again I digress.. the choosing of pictures is what throws me because I over-obsess and my style-choice of how I am showcasing things here, I know nothing else? It’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks, ew I said it. NO not ew, because I am proud of this I distinctly recall being 19 years old during the (first) height of my blog fame something I should actually speak about what that was like, I’ll put a pin in it for now but holla holla that’s a goodie.
I always have these negative mean things in my head when I am writing here it’s every mean thing I have heard people say about me and boy there are doozies, that is another roadblock BUT f that shit because haters gonna hate you, just don’t let them trip you up.
I tend to hold on to it for a bit before I erupt and let them know how wrong they are. How they have mistreated me but I know that people fight the battle when the war is already won so it be what it be and that is why they lash out. It typically has more to do with them, not you, but still they try to mess with your life and can succeed. I do not ever forgive it. I stand in my power and my worth and how dare you. I just have experienced a lot of meddling lately it has been exhausting and hurtful. I am still wicked pissed about it and the anger is nowhere close to cleared yet.
Every piece of negativity that you put out there 100% will come back to you. Cruelty too. If you feel low, then stop the grudge you are holding on to. The hate. Let it go because all you are doing is hurting people but mostly in the end it is you you’re hurting most and nobody needs that dysfunction anymore. Some people are trying to be happy and live harmonious lives without conflict there is enough going on in the world for plenty to eat and they’ve had enough. Demonizing people and painting a bad picture of them to suit your own needs is no one’s gain. Cruel intentions are quite unbecoming. Thank you for the flowers but where is the apology. See: worst birthday of my life.
However, speaking of ADD previously… I’m currently helping my man with a golf ball FB Marketplace post and flexing my skills and for some reason mobile wouldn’t work to upload the listing but now we’ve got it sorted from my desktop I am happy I can help and make use of my copywriting technical skills. I am grateful to be blogging here and now too booboos… anyway he’s setting up his dream stereo system right now too which deserves its own post.
When people embrace their passions, like me blogging for instance, then you help one another and bring each other up – that is how it is supposed to be. You can’t rise up if you’re squashing yourselves or being squashed. I have always been a read-between-the-lines sort of blogger and anger is distracting so this is my therapy doing this. I need to get it out to move on and when I have been disrespected so rudely why should I not get my turn to speak my mind.
Now, actually moving on but if the person who all that was meant for read it, good. I am willing and waiting to have an open dialogue with you at your leisure but if not, cool then. I just find alienating people only continues the abusive, toxic situation. I have heard everything you said about me. I’m not being afraid to write here anymore because of people’s judgments. Period.
Speaking of that too, do you know that the woman who has cyber-stalked, harassed, bullied, and terrorized me for 15 years is actually finally behind bars??? See. People been messing with me all over for a long time and now I can speak out about it.
It’s a massive story but again I had to just “ignore it” forever but I always kept my eye on her and BOOM she has priors. When you are a blogger on the web, influencer, you will attract crazy people. My friends who are also in my scene have all gone through it, being trolled and harassed in so many horrible ways!!! I never breathed attention into it here too much in order to minimize it although over the years I am sure you have seen me go off about it when it boiled over too much for me to handle and all you guys could do is watch, no one could properly help me. I have had a sick woman emulate me, torment, attack me on-and-on for 15 years, drag me through the coals and gaslight me. If you saw her channels you would be sickened.
I am so thankful that she is in jail now on $50,000 bail no one put the 10% ($5000) up to get her ass out of there she is that heinous and all it took was someone else for her to harass and threaten holy smokes. I am still triggered and sensitive about it so will discuss at a later date kk it is still on-going.
Day-to-day life is pretty chill, we is happy. I have rolled my ankle twice though playing sports with bf so now we don’t do that it really needs to heal, lesson learned. Walking, hiking, biking is what I can handle maybe the odd toss of lacrosse but football and frisbee is too dangerous because the competitive athlete comes out and results in my ankle literally folding and it’s traumatic plus sets us back. My ankle crumpled a second time because the first time thought it was better but not really healed yet and I was running backward to catch a spiral and hit a divot in the grass – boom. Dunzo. My right ankle ballooned up like a ball. I have teeny ankles and well I gotta pay more attention. I have pain flashbacks still it’s quite scary but I did it to myself so I am not looking for sympathy only just gabbin’ with you.
And so we went on this walk in this cute little part of a trail when I was still newly afflicted we went light and easy but we had a great time and were considerate and cute to each other blah blah wildflowers everywhere… I have been feeling guilty about being happy lately, feeling nervous about it I am protective of it very much so. How terrible is that? Like, it’s “not fair?” I am not talking BLM well maybe a bit but mostly from all that other shit I made mention of before like when you say you’re happy people take it away from you or try to they really do which is sickening and mentally ill of them if you ask me.
Pride comes before a fall but I am not prideful I am grateful and know the difference between a low and a high and always find a silver lining in times like many people should cultivate the fine skill of self-preservation, stop, smell your roses.
This made me laugh and reminded me of a time we had to park in a field in Holland like an over-flow lot and the grass was so thick and tall but all the cars there are tiny ridiculous Euro things and you drive in to like an everglades-effect and you slam your door shut on all these tall grasses.
Went for a me-time spin on my bike this day I have a lot of memories of this pier and the waterfront in Burlington in general and consider it a happy place. I’m a people watcher so it always brings the goods. I scratched a lottery ticket made a couple calls which resulted in ME being the watched one lol then rode home to bf’s dinner made for us. Happy day.
Airing out things that bother you with having a platform to do it on I gotta admit feels freeing in a way unlike any other, sometimes scary the “power” but if people have made you feel so small, insignificant, and inferior for a long time why be afraid to call them out why should they get away with it?
Chickens come home to roost.
Another milestone is getting into shape again and feeling more confidence in myself, my body, my spirit, my all and there isn’t anything wrong with that I am still very much annoyed at the nasty things I have heard. I do not trash other women. It’s gross to me when I hear others bash me, like, you should know better. If you want to feel validated in your shittiness then yes, you have done damage. To us both.
Onwards and upwards, have a great week y’all.
Never be afraid to be happy, that is the take-away.
What’s up beauties, are ya ready to vibe out to some relaxing blog? kk sames.
You seem stressed have a glass of relaaaaaax.
Keeping it slow and low out here in burbia like I like it. We cranked’er up a notch in Toronto for an afternoon a night and an afternoon so I could break out my summer wardrobe… my duds I packed away in a box and stored up above in my apartment layout for a season and it is nice to be reunited with my fashions. I have enough out here but wearing the same outfit-style all the time more or less when you’re a peacock and your bf’s stuff is all around you, you get cagey and you cannot adequately express yourself style-wise.
Actually we are both a bit’a fashionistas but tend to ‘err on the side of “garbage” normcore a lot when we’re alone lol so hot.
He has this pair of khakis that when I ask him to hold my phone it falls through a hole in the side-pocket and hits the ground. They’re actually my favourite. We embrace the skid life. Literally doing any and every thing we can to entertain and amuse ourselves.
Toronto gave me anxiety to be honest all of Thursday up until the afternoon then I was fine. I did apartment viewings for a unit in the building both days for my friends, whom are also my landlords. More on the viewings later and I had anxiety because my neighbourhood there is off the chains: summertime and living there is C R A Z Y. The Window News never disappoints let’s be honest but anyway I have a crop of friends who live on Front and we always light it up at Sugar Beach when it’s summer, so that we did. Tashina picked us up in her convertible and we blasted on down. Bf noticed the crew already there and party was a-go.
There aren’t any bathrooms down by that beach though so you have to get creative and it is disgusting the only two areas everyone uses for a toilet. This Covid life is so degrading in many ways but I’m outdoorsy with ample outdoor whizzing experience… I even got my mom on board – ladies, just always BYOTP and you’ll be good.
I just think it’s hard existing in the city or any urban setting during the summer you truly feel trapped in a concrete jungle I feel for the people I do. I am the people but I always have a base I can flee to in the burbs or made sure of it well yeah being the only one of my particular tribe to also ride the rails in the city but as for now I am “over it”.
Time seems to have flown by since April. I spent the worst birthday of my life alone thanks to covid and some meddling of others suffice to say, but yes it’s June now and that’s all behind us but I remember everything, every detail, because a lot of living has been packed into that time since before now.
It’s been domestic bliss more or less shaking the cobwebs out and adjusting to new dwellings which has been fun coupled by anxiety. The thing is, everyone is going through some form of shit right now. We have seen behind the curtain of errrryone’s bullshit and there is no hiding. Deaths, closings of businesses, BLM having a well-deserved huge moment which I will also be addressing – this was supposed to be a fluff post as in, a breather-log so as to not say all the things I really would rather air, got me? Y’always do.
Nature is religion to me right now and I feel as though I have waded through enough hoops of hell to get to this place where I am at. It’s hard for people to be happy for themselves or for others but also to just enjoy what you’ve got your ample privilege like it’s hard to just be happy with your day? Really? You are so fortunate maybe you have a bit of money in your pocket it’s summer now finally yeah the world is sincerely going to shit at the moment but look at the bright side if there is one. Be grateful. Gratitude isn’t that hard it’s just you’ve become hardened. It’s hard to appreciate what’s right up in front of your own nose and why nobody knows but, just live your truth as best you can and look around you. You have more than you know.
People are at their happiest when they are doing what they are meant to be doing. Like right now I’m happy because I am doing this and my bf is happy because he is scrubbing a bunch of golf balls. You do what works for right now, you putter and you come together, you may fight but you just keep doing you and if you’re lucky you become symbiotic and there’s a flow.
I am re-reading my favourite book right now Rule of the Bone I may have spoken of it before here but I am sure there’s newbies who I do not expect to dig back although I am always delightedly surprised when readers are like oh yeah I remember that. Or dream about me.
Anyway, Rule of the Bone is by Russell Banks and there is a lot of Rastafarianism wisdom in it I found it in my library in highschool and was instantly shook. I also read the Darling by the same author and I recco both to you but yeah to re-acquaint myself with this literature I see my true self again and the girl I was when I first found it and how the world has changed since, it has aged well but it accurately encapsulates an era of grunge and also includes a motorcycle gang and triggering sexual misconducts too, yikes.
The best parts of it however is when the protagonist goes to Jamaica and before that when he’s living on a school bus in an abandoned field and meets his Rasta buddy I say no more except you really get to nail down your Patois when you are reading this shit and your skiddy dialect altogether and as a writer, personally, I need to read it’s like breathing in and out – to write you need to read you need your salt and you need your pepper too.
I feel like I have been consuming way too much and have read the entire internet I need to come back to creating content again but mostly for me (not for you no offense), but yeah of course part of me is interested in seeing where this goes and who cares who knows I mean if you’re gonna do it just do it and shut up right haha.
People would say I punch you in the face with my writing and then punch you again with a picture okay maybe I just said that about myself and am paraphrasing like if they even say anything about me at all I also am always just practicing comedy here too and if you’re not in on the joke or get it you can go into a hate-reading mode it is nothing new to me like why does she do this or that? Maybe just appreciate that I do it at all and stop questioning it because I have asked nothing of you.
A rock pile near our friend’s place no can’t divulge the co-ordinates my mom has adorned my nana’s garden with the rocks she finds but has since let-up a little on taking them because they are for all to enjoy. One of the silver linings of this pandemic is the creativity you get to experience via others finally geeking-out and flexing those parts of themselves right??? yes.
Aw my heart.
Wow, great uhh, address. Lol.
Can you believe I waited this long until posting a selfie? I am “making a point”.
I love this donut so much thank you for injecting some kitsch in to Burlington thanks a bunch for really reals.
Pretty sweet have a bud who lives so close to us with a backyard set-up like so.
My chalk art was trying to do tropical sunsetting I googled it was aiight but a bit hot messy in the end we all drew a bunch of stuff love this bike path very much so.
haha our car’s reflection.
I got yelled at over the bullhorn we still make fun of it just let it roll off yer back everything is comedy pretty much right now.
This was a surprise location hike there’s lots to explore out here.
Alrighty, my fingers are tired and it’s a heatwave it’s time to do the thing, live the life — this has been great. To be continued I will be back with more.
your pal Raymi
oh and ps. if you need a lot of golf balls for a good price, get in touch lol.
So like everyone knows I’ve been hanging out in Burlington these days cooking, hiking, and riding out isolation with someone special and overall my life is pretty good considering there’s a global pandemic messing with society. Long story short I am busy living it up like a retired Renaissance woman and literally haven’t opened my laptop in months… but now that I have I’m thinking why not more blogging?
I put the word out looking for cool gigs but there isn’t much happening these days. Everyone is online. My laptop is closed but my phone is glued to my hand. I’m kind of glad to not be in Toronto during all this but I’m there in spirit – I support the #BLM insurgency in all forms.
This is Keith and he specializes in renovating split side homes. He seems like an all-star handy man and with my expertise of directing and coaching him on camera, we worked our way through the script and got’er done. I passed on my tips from years in the field.
Talking on-camera while delivering lines and trying to look flawless, sound flawless, is a lot harder then you’d think. The night before we were watching some show where the host is simply talking while walking, using his hands a lot too and it was seamless enough but I remarked on how hard I knew that was to do. For me personally, I am at my best when I’m unscripted but many times you ramble on too long and it can come off sloppy.
Remember the Brady Bunch? Well, they had a split level home, two bedrooms over the garage. Except the house they used in the establishing shot didn’t have a garage. If you add up all the interiors, I’m told there isn’t enough actual house for the whole Brady family — I love these geeky facts. That island kitchen and the couch room, the big living room they never used and the father’s den – that’s the whole first floor. You’re telling me eight people slept upstairs? What about Alice? She could have been in the basement or maybe she lived off site lmao. Anyway, in reality they needed a renovation and home remodelling and probably more bathrooms.
Those are the types of buildings that Eastview Homes renovate best so they say; each box is like an uncut gem and they find the best light and add windows and work around that. That’s their big secret by the way.
Day started at ten am which was civilized. They had watermelon slices and apple-fritter pastries but I declined. At first my job was to help run lines and then I was to hold reflector dish but then we had too much daylight and I had to hold a sunshade. Then we kind of evolved beyond all that and just made Keith stand in the best light. Then my job became light hunter.
Also I was blown away to notice the house next door to one of the sites I had spent a week painting with my mom’s painting business the summer before, as in last summer and THAT mes amis is a tale for another time… the day we wrapped the gig the owner got us loaded I’m talking two cases of wine pool party and ants in the pizza I was uber’d back to Toronto because they made me miss the train and I had a date I wanted to see which in hindsight I should have just stayed LOL.
The kitchen builders’ name is Remi and that’s his son. First thing the cameraman did was kill their music and then he complained about their taste in music. This caused Remi to talk excitedly about Pink Floyd which he declared was his favourite. That stopped the conversation. Dark side of the moooooon forever bruh.
The sound on the camera was a concern and we worried Keith wouldn’t be loud enough. Then too loud. The mic picked up everyone talking in the background, lawnmowers and helicopters. It was a nice day and everyone was home and outside enjoying the morning. Kids on bikes came by with their grandpa wearing a mask. They left. Our shoot was too boring for them.
All in all it was an enjoyable, hilarious, and knowledgeable time. I like being outside, wearing pink hats, bickering with my colleague and helping businesses out. We did two locations then it was over and so this is the blog. Done and dusted.
Baking, but make it fashion. No. But make it Raymi.
Hey there all, welcome back to another long-awaited blog post.
Weeks ago, I dressed like that and went to vChef Paper Baking Molds to pick up supplies for a little baking project I had cooked up. I just needed another RTM fungasm in the pan. I guess I just wanted to get baked with Sam (vChef owner). No more puns, I swear.
I’m holding the brown Tulip baking cup here which essentially is the go-to fancy cupcake paper mold you’ve seen around town once gourmet cupcakes came into trend. I like them because people’s fingers don’t get all over your cupcake, organic, cute, and they don’t mess up your baking tin.
They have plenty other decadent products to choose from as well fyi but today we’re just focusing on the cups and loaf molds which I like a hella lot ‘cos the pattern reminds me of LV.
If you’re a baker it makes for a great gift, no? Take your lemon loaf to go bro, I got u. On a budget? No problem, muffins for all!
So on the weekend we got to it. Also, my bf’s bday was afoot so this took care of that, pa-pow.
How hard could it be? Based on the fact I haven’t baked a thing since I was 19… I cook yeah, but baking is a whole other thing. The directions on the boxes are idiot-proof. I only forgot a whole cup of water once though which was as funny as it was perplexing when the mixer was trying to make the dry-ass powder all stick together based on 2 eggs only. Always read the instructions. I am a hyper-hypo with zero patience so, you can imagine what that is like.
Thankfully I had a sous-chef which isn’t called that in baking-world, an apprentice? Okay we get it. He was like did you forget the water? (once we got to the lemon poppy seed loaf) yes I did oops here lol.
So, did you know how sticky cake batter is? I did not. What a mess. This is where my patience first blew a gasket.
Here we go…
I did an edibles weed scientist cooking course on the weekend prior (9am-7pm!!) as it so happens so armed with that (now I am certified, I passed my exam!) knowledge, we wanted to make a few green cupcakes to see how that would go. I got a couple to-go oils for cooking infusions thanks to Cannabis Cooking Club, 7Acres, and Supreme holla at yer girl any time. My mom said the cupcakes were strong. Yeah right lol.
They weren’t rounded like muffins or cupcakes should look because we opened the stove a million times to check on them. Amateurs. No worries, the icing hides all of that ugly!
The lemon loaves turned out normal, success! Also added a couple scoops of some healthy powder stuff I have no idea but “it’s expensive” lol.
While the cupcakes cooled we went for a hike in the minus 12 weather cos we crazy like that.
The sun came out eventually made it less chilly but still those winds, my face got windburn. I wore snowpants and my huge jacket. I have no idea how I ever handled winter before in all the dumb little jackets I’d wear, never again unless I am going to a night club or whatever.
This was a decently-long hike we even walked all the way to smokey hollow falls. I made a joke about anyone bringing a flashlight and, in the end we didn’t make our way back til after the sun set ol Raymbo was right.
So many layers, two pairs of pants… guess how fun it was once the seal was broken and we were stopping and peeing all the time if you’ve never had your bare ass out in the cold winter air wind ya don’t know cold yet then baye.
I’ve a fonder appreciation of snow now. You remember the crazier winters of your childhood and playing in the snow definitely brings out the childlike qualities still instilled in ya. I’m Canadian ’twas bound to happen one time or other haha.
There she be, Smokey Hollow waterfall. As we came upon it we noticed one lady on the other side of the fence, hitting a tree with branches and throwing crap into the falls but not at all on the safe side of the barrier you know what I’m saying plus she was acting strange so I knew I had to say something. I said it in neutral kindergarden teacher voice, um you’re not suppose to be on that side? like in an “I feel” statement style… she quickly turned around and said I CAN BE HERE. Oooooookay fine I did my part if you fall and die or jump, I at least tried. You’re complicit if you SEE something and don’t say something. She did a Ninja jump back over the railing and left WTF.
It was getting dark so we made our way back.
This is like one of those American Gothic portraits.
It’s decoratin’ time!
They turned out very sweet btw. I was impressed. We used cream cheese for the base of the icing with icing sugar and food colouring. Bf’s mom rules!
As you can see the lemon loaves weren’t made yet we didn’t want to lose daylight waiting for them to bake so we did that when we got back.
Cupcakes keep for a long time if stored properly. I’m sure there’s a couple left still. I don’t have a sweet tooth, so.
I love orange and pink together.
Can you guess what was used to make those flower petals?
Well there you have it if I can do it then you can do it.
First of all, Happy New Year guys. 2020 holy shit eh! I mean, I had some resolutions but I already broke them so, there’s always 2021 to try again and I won’t be beating myself up about it or losing any (some) sleep either so let’s just move on right now. Yesterday I sent myself all the photos for this post which knocked the wind right out of me (it is SO boring) so I shifted this post to write for today instead. However, the problem with that is I am a different person today than the one yesterday who had all these thoughtful and sentimental feelings about said images. We will see what happens next, hopefully some brilliance and laughs not entirely at my expense.
(ps the plugin at the top is being fixed so ignore the Instagram block up to the left my bad!)
Went to Niagara Falls last Sunday, or, on Sunday. Hit a few wine tastings en route there (trius, peller, this place vintners?) which was hella fun. bf had tickets we had 16 glasses so like 2 flights at each place. We have packed a lot of activity in the past few weeks so bare with me here.
Please have a bathroom in the future for your wino custies. It was bad enough it was pissing rain #onstorm that we drove through to get there making the adventure seem all the more insane. Looking at wine merch when you’re blasted is super fun/ny too. I buckled at two pink glasses that say “Bubbly” in gold on them like I totally would.
Speaking of, Blow Up’s 25th Jubilee was so fun. Saw many people from the past maaaaaan, so good. The top floor was caving in and kind of thrilling being up there and also below on the first floor, it was bumping I was “concerned” lol.
This was a tame snippet feat. some of my select moves. Did you know if you go in my archives (please don’t) you can find stories about mod club from when I was 19, and blow up was the sister to that night in Toronto.
What movie does this make you think of? If you said The Irishman you are correct. Even the door is red. Scorsese on that foreshadowing a bloody killing tip son don’t think I didn’t notice I studied that mother-frigging movie and got in no less than 5 facebook fights as the world was watching it on netflix with their wrong opinions to boot. Ya I said it.
5 Stars for cuteness.
Foodie pic blindside swish! This is what I ate after all that wine I was hangry af and I was worried about getting in the pool after all that food but no worries there as the pool was too disgusting anyway, we just sat there and watched the awful view while digesting before heading up to run a bubble bawth. It was a covert opps mish smuggling our two pieces of buffet pizza which we had for breakfast ahahaha.
I incorporated my bathing suit into my outfit because, Raymi but also because this sucks me in I was doing a lot of wine and eating and thinkers gotta think yo. This is after Wine Stop 1 at the same location. It rained all day and night.
Christmas evening sorry I feel obligated to jam up this post with the requisite amount of raymi pictures I don’t even like this one!
New Year’s day, this was not enough and the amount of chicken and cheese were dismal not to be a complainer. We were, you guessed it, hungry. It’s butter chicken poutine fyi. One 2020 resolution is to eat out less and cook more. Seeing other friends on FB do the same too which is hilarious and inspiring to me because I know some of these cats are majorly addicted to going out so I am just waiting for the next restaurant picture to pop up and putting money on it secretly in my head and when it happens I will screenshot and send this part of my blog post fahaha #petty.
I asked him if he would still love me if I looked like this. He said, “it would be hard.”
The best thing about Niagara Falls is the nostalgia. It reminds me of the 80’s and being there in the 80’s and the crazy confused memories a kid conjures from that wild carny tourist traphole like the worst thing about NF is all the people amiright.
Jumping back to Christmas now. Enjoyed the fishnets and my flashy red polish, Mr. Rogers doc on in the bg. Think of someone more pure than Mr. Rogers, I’ll wait.
Oh hi Nana!
We died at this omfgggg too perfect. It is still funny.
Started doing these timer kiss portraits cos why the hell not. Maybe someday down the line will reveal the ridiculous way in which we got togeths. I am hesitant to TMI, I mean, I’ll totally TMI some things but not others. Will just have to continue watching haha.
While we are two peas in a pod in the classic sense, only one of us is a Leafs fan so the chirp-game is strong. I think he secretly likes them, deep, very, very, very deep down, somewhere. There is appreciation.
Thank you for the 1 tiny bottle of shampoo, super generous of ya but seriously the VIP parking was great and the later check-out too. bf’s golf umbrella went inside out as we were walking the falls at night in the rain didn’t matter really anyway because it was misty from all directions the umbrella was pointless. Then I lost $50 at the casino but it was my decision, Gamblor got a hold of me I needed to stare at skids, drink a beer, and throw money in the garbage. Should have cashed out at $70 but then you keep thinking you may build and build but you don’t you just crash. I love Roulette. I was watching Molly’s Game last night and she says poker is a game of skill, roulette is chance. So it means there’s a chance!!! lmfao.
Marie recommended this beauty app which is obvi not from Canada but I love it so shut up.
Yes it’s a beauty filter but it looks mostest like me I think. I am blessed with plump lips but they ain’t this plump so I have considered Kylie Jennering my lips thanks to seeing how much hotter I could look.
Yeah it’s a bit much lol. My Raybans are MIA, I put them aside on NYE and haven’t seen them since. boohoo. Update: FOUND. In a secret pocket chamber of the many pockets in my new coat.
We did a Christmas city circuit starting from my hood and it was a secret surprise to have a drink in the art deco lobby bar at Royal York which was slammed with fancies so we peaced after snooping around. It smelled like gingerbread from the actual gingerbread house they built in there.
Anyone else experiencing post-Christmas blues? This might be the Christmas blog in to February there’s still a lot of stuff to cover here.
A favoured place to pee when passing through neighbourhoods.
It was a magical Christmas, alright.
This is another great new place near me.
Went to Casa Loma on New Year’s Day, walk through Wychood and to the tunnel of glam on St. Clair. Will post that another time.
I’ve been to a wedding here, a medieval faire, and a Film fest party – all humongously epic experiences each in their own right.
Horses lived here.
Smiling Buddha on NYE we rocked the coat check. Fucking awesome. We were like whats up for new years, one of us needs to plan and chart out the coming week and one of us is like let me breathe we will figure it out anyway making $ versus spending money was a why not plus a duh, let’s do it I was in the throes of tweeting the job posting for them and thought fuck it why don’t we do this?
And it was a grand time. If things aren’t fun then you won’t find me there that’s my life motto.
Getting these aligned was a process but team work makes the dream work.
When you are a walking instagram what do you expect. The best was he was so oblivious to me but everyone else was zeroing in so I had to deke them out then go for the kill, piss off lcbo’ers mind ya business.
Lovely drives thru country snow, very good balance to my city life. Sometimes the concrete jungle is legit so claustrophobic don’t get me wrong I have loved every neighbourhood (save for one) that I’ve lived in in the city – if we made a map/tshirt out of it, it would be so very populated like people who thumbtack world maps for all their trips and travels mine is like that except Toronto neighbourhoods (plus LA Maine Brooklyn UK Holland Aruba Miami Vancouver blabbity blah…), like many people too I am sure. In short, if you sublet and you hate it, you just leave it. Boom.
We re-watched both The Hangover movies because it makes us laugh our brains out. The little things yeah.
See the falls over yonder.
We combed the Fallsview casino mall because it was cold af there outside by the falls and maybe I was cranky, I have seen this before are shitty things you say haha actually I was about to have meltdown number 1 okay hear me out, we were walking uphill in a wind tunnel and I said okay this isn’t fun anymore right before he could say anything my hat blew away right off my head up in the air in a big arc and backwards down the hill behind me into a group of people getting off a bus I had to haul ass down to get it before it got another gust of wind beneath it and a little kid jumped to it just before I did, nice kid, everyone had heard the bang of the brim of my hat hitting the sidewalk so I heard a cluster of Spanish tourists gasp it is funny as hell in hindsight but he knew I was about to full blown lose it so he grabbed me by the hand and dragged me up the hill in a sweet way but yeah, I was losing it.
We had our own lookout observation area it was very relaxing plus 80’s tunes were playing it’s always mesmerizing staring at the falls.
Okay I’s gots to bounce it’s been a slice have things to do so bon weekend see you soon happy 2020 xoxo your pal Raymi.
Went to the Sultan’s tent on Friday…more like the INSULTAN’s TENT! LMAO
I say no more! if you wanna hear my stories ya gotta pay for ‘em because I am fleshing out a set and I’m going for it. I think you have to say yes to as many insane things as possible before you die, it just makes sense to. I don’t remember (I never do) who I was talking to but I essentially was justifying my cut loose attitude and how I am a different person now than I use to be AHH I remember it was Brosz7 saw him the other night. Funny people are always funny, we laughed as we jadedly shot the shit of our current affairs.
Some people are not happy with their lives. I know, shocking. Some people are complacent, some people always worry, others plot. Everyone has anxiety. But I find the moments in between are the best, most crucial part. It’s super hard to enjoy your life or be the happiness is a choice-set because like in correcting one’s posture, you always forget. I mean, I don’t. I walk around like a happy go lucky Jimminy Cricket sometimes, the days I am lucky to be cognizant of JOY to just go with the flow man.
It was rush hour when I got back to the city yesterday and I found myself walking against the herd of commuters and, you know, I felt SO RELAXED TO NOT BE THEM. They were all miserable, grumpy-faced, and I was casually speed-walking at this point with my knowing bloodhound maneuvers left across Front and up University etc and so on and people were aghast I wasn’t a lemming like them going toward their train. Any time you’re going the opposite direction upstream glaring at your former-you it’s surreal. I honour it. Fuck my mind is so quick I don’t ever miss a stupid thing.
It floors me when it floors them that I stop to capture the sun setting everyone is so busy rushing around they never stop and but then they DO stop because they see this blonde freak woman doing this. I remember I was taking a photo of the most breath taking sunset once and people walking into an outlet mall were all ??? and I said TURN AROUND!!!! They did and were transfixed. SEE! I said. Sometimes you have to shake people the fuck awake which is why I pull no punches in just speaking my mind right there in the moment sometimes those were the best conversations.
Anyway this was a boss walk home it was mild, more mild than had anticipated so the warmth was soothing and as we know this child hates her winters so get it in ya when you can and smoke em if you got em cos it’s goin down (fav track right now my neighbours hate me).
going back to my stand-up material I feel like I start a lot of topics then go on to the next, it’s bad I know.
I mention it because I want to be a finisher. Omg wouldn’t that be an awesome sister to the Punisher. Just think about it I’m going to leave that with you.
Fuck are we done looking at buildings yet I know I am… the weekend I went to Burlington for Thanksgiving was the first time I saw trees changing fall colour I felt SO sorry for myself for being a Torontonian in that moment like all the trees changed colour without me. The majority of my life is spent being sad about the most inconsequential shit I know this you don’t have to tell me LIKE I see this too you know!!!
I went to the shark club this night to watch the game. I say no more. Hahah.
I believe if I knew when I was a little girl that all I’d ever want was to be outdoors in nature I’d probably be married sooner/already but let’s not go there rn. This is one of my most favourite places to hike: Smokey Hollow falls don’t copy me but you must go and make sure you don’t have bad knees kay.
Dear Diary it has been 3 hours since my last mirror selfie I cannot cope, the people do not know what I look like right now please give me the strength to locate my next washroom I don’t care how shitty it looks in there, they have a right to know.
Ya guy Nan’s boudoir what up b this was before Swiss Chalet. Next year we will go to a nicer place so my Nana won’t complain I said you have to stay alive for that though okay?
I am slowly getting slimmer I am afraid to mention it lest I yoyo back again haha but just letting you know because I think the selfies increase however, I know I take just as many when I’m thiccer so idk what to tell ya I don’t care just look at me and be quiet. I am so sick of being online bullied about every single thing it doesn’t matter anymore I made it to twenty fucking years assholes Nov 28th will be my 20th year blogging. WHAT!!
So you can just kiss my ass. skskskskks sorry for the ego problem. Dialing it back now.
Do you want to hear about my Sunday? Okay it was the best day and knew all along was going to be gorgeous weather it didn’t disappoint.
Give me LOTR or give me death.
Trust me I loaded up my phone and fucked up my instagram stories like I did on Nuit Blanche just so much Faaaaaaaaaaaall.
There was some kind of major accident we had to park on another street and walk down I really love my disaster p0rn but we didn’t make it in time cos we was tailgatin’.
This was a massive slow burn said he had a beer for me with a mirror on it then gives me this yeah thanks bud who are you my brother? I think that passes for romantic if you’re a country boy.
I had a big weekend I slept through my alarm so as I was getting ready to head out to the burbs I had the opportunity of being sweaty frantic and anxious the entire time you know the feeling FUCK then I came down with something Monday, complete useless write off and felt right as rain Tuesday because I drank a quart of orange juice and just sweated it all out is this TMI I can’t tell anymore and I also don’t care.
I love how so many Toronto little front yards are over-growing insanity Toronto people are busy enough have they enough shit on their plate and just cannot deal with the green thumbery. I have lived in a variety of places in the city the majority of which had the zaniest backyard garden set-ups going on talk about English gardens yeesh which is run wild to shit.
A new spot in our hood goody good.
The money shot.
Will prob result in being the front cover for some theatre’s playbill I hope.
I’ll be in the area later today and shall report back if there is a new billboard here yet. Feel free to tell me first though.
oh ya this night I say no more haha.
Blogging this is inspiring me to get up off my ass and do my errands sooner it’s sunny out! (update: now it’s not).
Nana’s roses. When I took jazz I would always get a bouqet of roses from her garden after my recital awwwww.
I wanted to razzle dazzle ‘em at swiss chalet so….
Now that was a friggin choppy water day wow.
Literally all the patience I had uploading pics yesterday for this post enjoy your day now, enjoy your life xoxo!
Hello girls and boys, it’s time fer a blerg post. How this will go, nobody knows.
A truly cherished and (supportive) friend of mine read the last one and said although it’s all over the place, my writing and stories do have cohesion and it is something totally unique to me, and good but awesome. Made me think okay I will try to be a little more cohesive which can be trying as time has passed and in the present, where we are now, looking back at the pictures of rocks and boats and food that I took, how do you piece that together in a not boring way?
I get so bored so quickly and would rather talk about the here and now but I also grapple with guilt about leaving out the fine details of a minute, or an encounter, I previously experienced and felt was so profoundly significant at that time. This must be some form of obsessive compulsive disorder I’ll be diagnosed with later down the road, get medication for and be like, why didn’t I do this earlier in life and save myself from myself? Like extreme sentimentality. That’s why I blog and collect, and I hoard experiences.
Okay hear me out, I know GOOD VIBES is like the worst saying by now but it’s such a cute shirt. My style errs on the side of tomboy vsco girl (yes also puke) normcore beach babe and in the winter time hipster hobo chic, in autumn it’s rocker tomboy tight pants all legs loud toques like too many layers but in any event this shirt makes waves, it draws the eye so if you’re any kind of self conscious and walking across a busy city pretty much every single person is turning and looking at you. GOOD VIBES BRO. We also convinced someone I owned my own sex toy shoppe so there’s that hahaha.
Went to Haliburton saw every place from my childhood summer holidays was nostalgic AF I ATV’d stand-up paddle-boarded the lake infinity times tanned etc and so forth was a good week then we stayed at a resort for one or two nights then hit Wasaga on the way back and stayed there for two nights once you’re away just stay away and play eh. The summer before I had spent in Muskoka pretty much every single weekend and that ship has sailed so THIS summer I was gung-ho to “better” last summer. I think I nailed it.
You’re doing great Sweetie! Thanks for the pic mom lol. I put this on my tinder profile you can imagine the greatest hits in form of messages it received from matches. It’s good these guys hang themselves, red flag themselves, at every juncture. Defending it too like I am kneeling on a board in a bathingsuit in a heatwave don’t slut shame me. Then I knock it out of the park and say my mother took the photograph. Anyway.
Jamie visited Toronto for a few days this summer. I think it rained BOTH times we went down to the pool but it was fun still, hotel people watching is kind of awesome. Holy shit I just remembered this throuple we saw in the pool I will omit all physical details but let me just say this: GROSS. Moving on. Okay going back, watching other people watch them too was hilarious – the facial expression reactions – very much priceless.
Now could this have been in May or June? Was it hot enough in May yet for this sort of thing? I know that it was a hot ass day but anyway I invited someone on the boat that caused some drama it was actually the perfect storm recipe I don’t want to out the two parties involved (huge sigh) but yeah now that person isn’t allowed on the boat ever again and I’m gonna get a harder vetting in the future for people I wanna bring on my uncle’s boat which sucks because have been bringing peeps on that thing for more than ten years now or something. The friendship is severed too fully canceled and next time I will read the room better as have given this person a second chance before, they were morning wasted on tequila, had gotten stood up, I should have known better. Boat drunk is real BRO.
This is that bar/resto at Union station I think called Union Chicken wasn’t gonna plug’em but there ya go. I am glad there are places now in the train station you can eat and chill and kill time it’s deadly though because once you buy your ticket you can wait out 4 trains before it expires and then you’re like $130 later from champagne and shit I mean I only did that once I bumped into my friend who commutes to PC and I was heading to Burlingtron and we got smammered obvi. Look at the winter coat I am rocking, it’s only a matter of fucking time til we are bundled up again and I HATE ITTTTTT.
At Nana’s you always have to selfie in her floor to ceiling mirror. I think we were heading to… I don’t even remember all I remember is whipping through the house like this and Nana almost dying from my naked-tannedness. My nana can never not comment on my body or my appearance I just try to glam and/or blonde it up as much as possible to protect myself lol.
This was a boat ride to remember however good God the winds and the waves every rod got tangled it was 10/10 messy no one could even drink we were so nauseated from the rocking boat I can feel it still now and we almost lost a few of us out the back of the boat on the way out to water from how my prankish uncle rips that thing my mom will tell ya. There are videos where I am screaming my head off and everyone is holding on for dear life I mean it was thrilling but also terrifying too. My family is insane what can I say.
Do you think we can get through this post starring 100% pictures of me only? Definitely right. Speaking of boozing I’m not boozing right now and seeing how long we can go I think I’m over the hump of how boring it is to be alone with my thoughts sober or even being able to have thoughts but I don’t want to get into it right now so. Talking about it can be as boring as the act of it is.
I love this piece. I don’t want to say mural because it is obviously a blown up photo so I don’t know what you call it in actuality.
I think that is the last time I wore that teeny red kylie kendall backpack I have moved on to fanny packs now and my mom and kev have both copied me LOLLLLL.
Okay one other person can be in this post and that’s my brother and if you ever fuck with me he will tune you up real good. I actually told an ex that and it pissed him off so much he went lethal and wanted to fight my brother and I am like yo relax I am sorry but it’s true my brother will win then we had a fight about it and I learned never warn anybody just let it happen when and if it needs to happen.
When you’re mid-thirties it’s not conceited to pose all dreamy and such it is an achievement and this contains zero filter so yes I am into it.
This one has filter yes duhhhhhhhhh but it doesnt mean that I don’t look like this omg who cares I am running out of steam now.
…and like myself again. It feels good to be back but where that is, who knows who cares I have done a lot of pretentious self-reflection self love self care weird fucking things this summer I dunno. I isolated myself. I took’er easy. Any way I will be working my way backward through my phone of the things that are still there on it that I did this summer and the thoughts that I had while doing them and that will be that. In the blink of an eye the season t’was over but it’s not officially done until sept 21 So. There.
Oh my god if you saw the set-up I am dealing with right now to get wifi into my own apartment you would die I am trying so hard not to be a bitch and just roll with it but add loud hammering into the fold louder because my door is wide open to get the signal using a stool as a table and my shoe rack as a mouse pad rest even moving it a fraction to the left cuts it off so where I thought I was on easy street before on my micro-kitchen counter…I download netflix movies from my account so that I can binge them in bed by nightfall I am too annoyed and embarrassed to show a picture here I sent one to Marie and she was like girlllll get Rogers I didn’t want to get into it here! but maybe the secret to maintaining an audience (like women in China livestreaming do) is to complain and share every fucking mundane thing that I roll my eyes at other people sharing on Facebook and yet… read every goddamn bit of it myself.
I have been back in the city a couple weeks now? Going on week 3? I spent a month abouts in Burlington, from Wasaga, to Oakville and all I had packed were bathingsuits and one pair of shorts that I wore all summer LMFAO… anyway we will get back to that. But anyway since I have been home in Toronto NO WIFI. The Super was my wifi hookup and he moved out. I refuse to spend one more fucking dime on anything period in this city if I can help it especially since there is pre-existing wifi in our building already this whole time unbeknownst to me, and a strong signal at that if you can bloody reach it, or speed, at least when my door is open and I am perched over my laptop like an arachnid from District 9 (look it up) my fucking back is killing me bruh.
Now I can bundle my phone package with internet right? Wrong. But then the guy at rogers is like wait I can get you a good deal. Brother man fuck you. Don’t act all back door special with me I have had my account since I was 19, I am 36, do the math I am paying you way too fucking much already. Even if I bit the bullet we still need to figure out where the fuck to install it in this old-ass building. Why the hell would I even go get my own modem when it’s already here and we just need an extender on the existing modem down the fucking hall from me I can see right now I am legit on my last nerve — fix this yesterday. Was told will just go by the computer store on College 2 weeks ago and it hasn’t happened I am beyond pissed. I am also SICK of having my door OPEN – it isn’t safe. Maintenance dudes keep looking in AT me too as a bonus while I am typing here on a stool. I will probably delete this but I needed to explode. I am annoying them they are annoying me. They can hear my same twenty songs I play over and over.
Other than that I am doing great and very happy ahhaha sorry! Not lying.
I am glad with the things in my life that I do which make me happier at a later point in time when I look at my photos and in the moment I have this obsessive compulsion to capture and hoard experiences and then self-reflect maybe share a fraction of my adventures later on I have been doing this for the majority of my life it is my truth and it’s how I sought to attract my tribe, anyone, who would listen to and see me.
I see poets as roving packs of magic creatures, demented, lovingly so besought by their wariness and experience I eat it up. I fill my head up with so much fantasy to self-preserve and contain my way, in which I need to constantly justify my nature? Truth be told I am comfortable in who I am, arrogant, and also afraid. It is an adrenaline at your backside. Think twenty minutes of anxiety every twenty minutes and that is how I live.
you have to make amends with everything before you can suffer nothing before you can be everything you ever wanted to be.
We’re always thinking of little schemes and ideas for me to hone my talents which are so fucking good like a how to online date thing where I tell newbs what to watch out for because let me tell ya I have been a bible of wisdom for my squad in their new time of swipings prime of recent.
I just have this life I dreamt of before when i was so enamoured by hipsterism kooky aesthetic and am now trapped by it because living in Toronto is so expensive when I leave this place they will slap paint on and charge $2000 for it so I am like fighting the man and the power and everyone always anywhere anytime.
I need my mister dress-up lifestyle I look to other institution peoples like myself in Toronto, how they are fairing, and some have all become lampoons of themselves by design, by necessity, and by need to survive. We all have had our own successes, failures, fall-backs. BUT most importantly COMEBACKS and I am here for it! I so support my fellow Toronto celebs my music industry pals who helped MAKE ME. ILU 4EVR #Gratitude #blessed.
NOW on to my next annoying topic to rant about which is purely self-inflicted toxicity of my own actions embedded deep within a place of my disgusting vanity and vulgur as it is I find it hard to justify looking pale in the winter time I am only angry at myself for not freezing my account for two months of the summer such waste throwing money in the garbage and tanning salons are crooks in the bests of times you have to show up and do paperwork like a gym like uhhm no one has time to even consider the sheer terror of that.
Perhaps you find what I find in this blog style vein of an art-form to be antiquated, outlandish out of style but it is normal to me. I never knew but of anything else and to even fucking second guess it is a travesty.
How greedy with your time are you? Because I am so far gone indulgent with mine I was JOMO before that ever existed like putting your state of being in a physical valium existence this is what Netflix does to us today it’s just too good too easy to watch through a cinematic lens parallel to our facebook landscape connections to those we knew years ago.
And getting back to basics of doing irl things is utterly amazing. As an adventure thrill-seeker you fill the chambers of the void with constant doing the older you get because you finally know and fear and realize how limited time truly is.
Nothing makes me feel more emotional, more poetic, more depressed, than autumn. If it were a person I would punch it in the face, buy it drinks, and ghost it. Because you know what comes next. Sacrifices are fun and all unless you’re the cat on the pyre. Winter is LONG. I think the majority of my blog posts are about how much I fucking hate winter. Wow.
I’ll just take a sec to switch gears here and breathe.. LOL.
Nothing bothers me but everything makes me insane.
I come up with these lines all day long I wish I would just write them down make a set out of them. This is the start. This is a preclude to a podcast.
the things that you admire, inspire, and you let shine out through and you remember that moment again and what it reminded you of so sweetly, to begin with.
If you want to go somewhere from 1909 go to Allan Gardens. Bring a b cup, a marie antoinette glass (coup glass) cos she had b cup sized tits ha ha I love that!
Took in two softball games ate shawarmas it was lovely.
It got cold though. Made do.
All in all a great summer it has been. I went all over and was a beach bum as much as poss.
SO here is the story of my Christmas blanket. Since nobody asked. Two Christmas parties ago I was a marketer for an agency and I lost my receipt for all the Christmas crap I bought for the Christmas staff party and they were like Raymi we can’t reimburse you for that so I was like fine THIS BLANKET IS MINE NOW plus all these elves. lmao.
I left behind lots of shit there is no love lost I just think it’s funny. I bought it for this couch we had in the office Tess suggested I cover it up with something as a last ditch effort Dollarama came through. Those girls loved me Valentines day Easter St Patricks Christmas Canada day Halloween those were good times sigh. I’d go to Dollarama her beside my place before work and pick out fun ass things to put together on display for instagram and clients and candy for the team for morale.
See that bee.
They were everywhere.
I went to pee and came back with crayons and we had a colouring contest had a girl impartially judge who was better and we won against my boy Troy sorrryyyyyyyyy we only had three colours to work with.
Love this beach, bish.
We found a discarded bubble disc I have no other way of knowing how to describe it but anyway it was essentially a frisbee so we tossed it back and forth until it broke for a good 20 minutes I stood on top of the rock formation because it was the last place the sun was hitting and it was such a perfect game of frizz I felt like an Olympian all these moments I shotgun to my heart to get me through winter my least spirit animal.
So happy to live so close to here.
and to here.
So centrally located to many places it’s why I live where I live and I take it because it’s a gem and when I lived in the beaches I felt the same melancholy temporariness that it was living anywhere in Toronto but I am grateful for what I have right now so that’s that! It’s fucking cool it’s unique it speaks to my eccentricities my lone wolfism fuck yeah no roommates.
Oh lord I uploaded way too many photos than actually wanted to deal with so lets to be continued this never-ending story for now thanks guys see ya.