Hello glorious people of the world. My colleague thinks I am doing the RTM version of Hogtown pro wrestling coverage here rn but I’m not. I just “can’t” today. I need to do something more artistic than that just saying! Lets wrap up the last week of my life or whatever’s clever, yeah? Yeah!
My mother recently said I was a hyper-active child that needed to be stimulated at all times. I knew this but I did not know this. This information would have been useful to know several years ago for sure. I can’t sit still it’s true. I flit! I am always hunting for my next big fish, something to focus on and give all my energies to. Unload aaaaaaaaaaall my passions into. I’m a lover I really am. A clingy, stalky, obsessive compulsive, fixater. Non-stop thinker. A wise guy. Yesterday Julian and I were painting and jamming out in general in our room together. Then I started lifting weights while he stared deeply at his painting with brushes and paints scattered everywhere. I asked if we were acting out being in jail. What that would be like. Doing every creative thing together as possible to avoid going insane. Eating. Drinking. Smoking. Dancing. Laughing. Netflix. Gambling. Video Games. Julian’s Dad says we live like rats lol. When we visit there he hates it if we sleep on the couch.
I get glimpses of these bohemian moments of my life and it’s everything I ever wanted but it is also jarring as in WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!?? I watch old films like a Ghostworld cliche and I study the faces of actresses and compare all the lines and appearances of age in mine to theirs. Plotting botox and more sleep. Dieting. Well I guess that part is normal. Everyday there is something in your face about aging ranging from desperate to scary. I try to transcend it and not care. It doesn’t really gotta matter cos this party don’t stop.
Every single job I have more or less revolves around beauty and self image. Being hot and clever. I act, I perform, I approach strangers with a phony smile to get their data while they blow smoke in my face cos they’re blasted and it’s witching hour.
Had a good meeting yesterday. That’s all I will say for now!
Ordered killer rice and tacos. It was all excellent. Shout out to Grillies.
Protip. Wear the dress from one job to land another. BOOYAKASHA!
We went out to eat at the steak house and as you can tell I have trouble letting go of summer BUT I am transitioning into fall okay doke. I love how brands offer TRANSITIONING into a new season guidance like you can’t figure out to put on pants by yourself and a sweater. “Everybody in trench coats!” OMG emergency.
My legs looked extra long I felt you should see too.
I wore my black pumps for the funeral then uglied it down with these bad boys for comfort.
People seemed to dig my vol au vent story on FB so here we go…
I finally had a vol-au-vent (pronounced [vɔlovɑ̃], French for “windblown”, to describe its lightness. I learned about this frenchy dish while doing copy for TH when they launched a vol au vent on their Quebec menu and henceforth always wanted to eat one. Last night we had a 5 star version at Love Me Tender Steakhouse. Divine.
We had scallops. I forgot to tell Julian about the time in Maine when my ex had scallops during the superbowl and we think he got red tide omg why am I saying this now lol. Anyway it was scary af.
I hate when I am trying to take pictures and people are lurking around you have to pretend you’re not dying inside from humiliation but the sun is hitting your hair just so blah blah… I walked home from my meeting it was conveniently close-ish to ma hood. I was an empowered business lady I will have you know.
Orderd off the kids menu the macaroni bites. Did not know they came with fries. We pigged out.
We had a delicious time.
I am doing lots of exercises now. I am owning my lazy juicy figure but I am also recklessly abandoning it that’s what’s upppp!
We periodically frequent this french place nearby but I am gonna put the breaks on that cos it’s dumb to go somewhere just cos you like their 14 dollar glass of Mcmanis (it’s so good though) but you can get a whole bottle for $20 at the lcbo. Anyway need to cut the wine snob shit down a bit.
However their spicy caesar is amazing and half the price. Julian can have two to my one glass of red haha.
These ghost streetcar tracks posed ornamentally at a nightclub are a metaphor.
We are planning to do a show together.
We took the Danforth way home I forget why but stopped here to eat. The blackened potato salad is unbeatable.
He forgot to rim them.
Liked his truck. Bad ass. Julian and I both have secret agent complexes which military and cool shit like that fall in line with. We are both dramatic, into cinema. Loud characters. Lots of energy. Creative types you know the sort.
I need to go make dinner and slice some cucumbers now y’all so ttyl for meow.
Hey guys this stink eye’s for you. Jay-kay, in actuality while I was street vamping for this shot I was staring at the girl laying on the ground all drunkies and I was trying to pose without showing that that was what I was looking at. Oh King west you beast. It’s a living. I don’t remember if I told you about this new gig we have til NYE but it involves ipads and collecting data for a brand about blabbity blah prob not at liberty to say but anyway there is a job for everything and everyone out there if you can tell all the right lies ;). In between that I have my personal asst/social gigs, and now acting. I’m kind of dead tired between it all but I am majorly excited about my acting/wrestling card girl gig this weekend most of all because I get to go asRaymi the Minx. Remember her? You can see it all broadcast on Rogers TV 8 days later I heard. I’m going to steer clear of the drama as much as possible, there’s some scripted scenarios I am going to be part of too oh fuck lol. This can be a re-appearing gig for me if all goes well. After I blog today I’m going to squeeze into some tights and put my RTM look together for it. LMK if you want to go I’ll pull some strings. They kinda want hot girls (who doesn’t?) ha ha shrug. The last one of these things Julian and I went to we laughed our heads off 3 hours straight. We “could not”. It’s like over the top wrestling fake fight acting and you’ll recognize a lot of local Toronto legends acting in it. It happens again November too as if anyone is reading this part right now haha.
This night of work was a Blitzkrieg cos I bumped into scoundrels I know long story short I was useless the next day.
Hello old friend.
My cousin died last week. I’m glad we were able to make it to the service. It is a tragedy how he died. I have a lot to say but I’m not going to say it though. The funeral home had these memoriam bracelets. I took one for my mom as well. Family is important. We had a good day afterward my Dad and mom, Julian and I. Touring Oakville. Seeing the church where my grandfolks on my dad’s side are all laid to rest. Sat on my great grandmother’s bench as is tradition. Then we went to a patio in Burlington then back to the house to visit etc. We shared happy memories and funny stories. Julian thought he was playing matchmaker I said this isn’t the Santa Claus bruh. So. In dark times you must cherish the good times at the same time and those in your life. Even if they’re your enemy and pissed you off before I like to abide by the one last chance model, more of a syndrome rather. Life is precious and is short and it’s scary enough for the lot of us no? Make time for fun and if you need help, ask for it.
A ship and the view of Toronto from Oakville. That one last smokestack line by the ship is the beaches where I am right meow.
I saw a girl plop backwards yesterday into the mud. She fainted. She’s a fainter. I was on the phone in the middle of being scammed by that hot scam of the moment where they pretend to be the CRA and it almost worked. I am still pissed off and stressed about it and probably going to report it. Had I have seen the CBC feature on it last week I wouldn’t have been so stupid and if I wasn’t so sleep deprived and tired on set and had better focus… It was just an absolute gong show but I want people to know what happened to me so they can avoid it too. I can see why old fogies fall for it these guys are VERY crafty at what they do. I want to set them all on fire I could hear them in the background scamming other people it was so believable and I am such an idiot.
They actually wrote back to me. If 1-613-707-3639 calls you IGNORE IT. I flew too close to the flame on that one by God. They had a fake 3 way call with my accountant and I and I bought it. I canceled my credit card but waiting on hold with VISA for ten minutes was an eternity I was like cancel my card right away! Also why did this take you ten minutes to answer in cancellation land and your automated system they could have been depleting my card and most definitely were trying to. I think I lost a year off my life from that I was walking around in circles in the parking lot on my phone I bet the shuttle driver enjoyed the show but then, I canceled it in time and we had wrapped on set – instant relief and elation we went straight to thai food and netflix I had this weird high like, I felt lucky but I felt sick to my stomach at the same time. I have enough bullshit in my life and now these scam artists come along. Great!
The torrential downpour added a nice touch to the gong show of a day. I am never staying up late again before a shoot. Lesson learned.
I just got off the phone with the passport peeps and thankfully my passport is expired and therefore useless to those bastards so once again my laziness has saved the day. I am going to replace it this week. I just need to take a decent photo first. This is fake movie money fyi. Me and another actor took turns passing it back and forth to each other over and over again in the background and pretended to trade corn actually we forgot about the corn and became money OCD fixated instead. Acting is hilarious. I made so many stupid jokes about corn. Sometimes the personality shines through strong bringing joy to all those surrounding me. An AD that morning said I had a great voice when all I said was “no problem” as they were passing through. He said say something again I said, “say something again. Hello good morning how are you.” I need to do voice over work before it’s too late. Sorry all these stories are about me it’s kinda about me and my life here.
Another Raymazing thing to happen to me was my phone went in the pool my first day on set for a different show. I wanted to just give up and die. In this business you see the same actors around on different projects and sets so yesterday we all made fun of me for that. YES that was MY phone. Yes I was THAT girl. I was basically crying when I got my voucher at the end of the day at 5:45am when we wrapped. We did 17 hours. So the last few scenes at the end my face is all fucked up and then I just leave altogeher LMAO. Anyway this photo was on Julian’s phone cos I needed something to post the few days I was phoneless. Nice shot bud. Rob retweeted it I assumed out of passive aggression but he said it was cos he liked the composition pfft.
We just looked at this again for the first time and died laughing. So many questions behind it bahahha. In Future TO was great I hope you made it out to that. We walked the log chute (waterless) at Ontario Place and these idiots were peppering the path along the way. Decapitated deers and other out-there art, nice and retro, nostalgic. Everyone has their Ontario Place memories I kept hearing them all night long plus we bumped into lots of close friends of mine too. We had to get out of the interpretive dance silo asap I cannot keep a straight face during that shit. This guy danced through some papers he made shuffle and flutter all over the place in a spotlight with some crap projected up on the wall put to MEANINGFUL music and narration in a black spandex outfit NOPE too immature for that buddy but good job though. Kyle’s gf from France being majorly into it didn’t help much either cos I immediately wanted to make fun of it with her but then we had to talk about it and I had to pretend like it instead while Kyle and Julian made jokes over in the corner gahaha.
My phone crapped out the next day so I lost all my hoarded pics ho-hum. Luckily I hyper-actively overpost sometimes and could take scraps from facebook and what not. If you haven’t seen your own phone sink to the bottom of a pool before you might imagine how emotional and awful it feels and all the shit that goes through your mind regarding media for clients and your to-do lists. I hope it never happens to you.
He knows how it feels.
This was a Sunday night. Oof. #dreamteam.
It’s Noel! I liked that his installation included a pile of dust and rubbish he couldn’t find a dustbin for. Good ol Noel. There are legendary Noel & company stories it was good to have the gang all back together again. We had oysters and made fun of stuff, yay.
After pooling the audience I picked up these shades that I would have regretted for the rest of my life had I not.
Praying my bodytype will suit the dresses they’ve ordered for us for work. I’m not bragging but I kind of fit in to the 24 age-ish set but sometimes I feel like they really for real think I am. I can do skimpy to a limit. Also I am a little “juicier” lately and you kind of need to be emaciated for some dress styles out there. I don’t lose sleep over it though don’t worry.
The coconut was the best sorbet could do without the rest next time.
Eavesdropping on this patio is pretty sweet. Some kids tried to hustle chocolate bars to all of us it was kind of amusing to see the nerve of them. The host would not let them in so they asked us all one by one over the fence. Oh that city life.
You get accustom to the facial hair then it gets shaved off for a role and you’re like but where is your face?
I wonder if he owns the stables too.
Skulls and cherries.
I love the city but I also lurve the country YEE-HAW!
I am always cleaning up our tickle trunk.
Just going through the motions here.
I will give this hairstyle a whirl again and refine it.
Our new friend/co-worker Danielle was rocking the Charlie’s Angels thing and proclaimed, am I the only one doing it?? I guess you had to of been there.
I was 22 when I made that book. Man I use to be a go-getter af.
Kristin was dressed like a Legoman ILHer. Known her since I was 19. She started Magic Pony fyi.
Nice pic Julian.
Sex on the beach. I needed to be comforted by a ridiculous drink. I didn’t even want to drink. You know how I feel? It reminded me to make a point to drink more cranberry juice if anything else.
Funeral-bound on Saturday.
From the first show I was on. I lost more selfies this is the only pic of me I have. I survived though. Life goes on.
Still trying to make ponchos happen. Now that it’s on tv it might actually happen. Sometimes I wonder if my sense of humour is so dry it just goes right over your head. I am kidding. I don’t care about ponchos.
Earlier that morning I was all, how am I going to get through this day?
There’s no fun in funeral except that there is. You make the best of it I guess. You get to see yer fam. I was pleased that there was no dramz.
When you don’t blog often and then you compile all your selfies at once you see how many you take and you’re like ugh cringe shrug whoops sorry guys. I actually seldom like how I look but you would not know that if you read my blog now would ya!? Being a woman and “aging” really does a number on your self esteem I see mean shit written about me online all the time. I read a crazy one recently in a forum I will not mention about how I better hurry up quick I am old I can’t remember but it definitely left a bad vibe feeling. Anyway. Celebrate when you like how you look and literally everyone else can shut the fuck up who try to bring you down for no reason other than they need some company down there.
Rearranged our room it’s pretty chill now. Staying in the beaches til spring. Pumped. I guess we’ll bring a boxspring in finally despite both owning whole “‘nother” beds, respectively.
Yeah I’ll mail it! Added to the list. I have another one avail for sale if keen lemme know.
Had celebratory dinner in our hood last night. I have been eyeing the jerk chicken in this joint for months. It finally happened. The guy was like okay good luck it’s pretty spicy. I was like pfft I will be the judge of that. I need to be exploited for my spicy tolerance in some capacity. Two napkins later and I was done son. Julian had the lobster grilled cheese.
I got a bite. Dope.
I had a mamosa. Like a mimosa…but in a boot. Um ok. Better with brunch I imagine in between slugs of coffee.
Reminded us of beer fest movie and the boot scene. I got the boot a couple times in drinking this. It gurgles and sploshes on you. Funny.
Julian has to grow his facial hair again for a thing. GREAT.
It’s almost cool enough to rock a hat now without sweating your brains out.
I think I will make this my new FB header. We gave our walk-in office a good tidy today finally.
New hit alert. Julian sent me this song he had made “inspired by me” and kinda about me when I was in Detroit… anyway who knew months later I’d be singing on it with him and it’s getting mixed and mastered af it sounds incredible. Party anthem en route stay tuned dude.
What a pose. Enjoyed playing ball with Hank. Such a sweet dog and I normally “hate” white poodly type dogs I dunno why. Maybe I have seen some manky ones in my time and they all take on the persona of their owner and it’s like yeesh enough.
I hate that I am a Starbucks person but I also don’t care. Call me basic but their Americano misto non-fats have been my jam for years and get me into gear. Give me an sbucks card anytime.
I was feeling my look but also well aware of how much of a fuckin idiot I looked like but guess what during TIFF and in YDS area (puke) you are like a Lady Gaga solid gold dancer to the rest of the flock. I saw chicks eyeing me up and taking notes. Soon daisy duke weather is over though have been known to wear them during winter if attending the right live music act.
It looked grotesque to me I liked it. Kind of a V for vendetta quality? Gothic madness.
We need to preserve what we have though so I am a proponent of the constant upgrading of one’s self (city).
This is the side of that chick’s head from the Snowden movie. She plays his gf. If we had the patience to stick around for Joseph Gordon Levitt I would have jumped on him. Despite promoting the tiff parties at this place you kinda get over it quick. I appreesh tho and I ain’t hating. I saw a lot of friends colleagues peers the last few days on prime king st west and shall again before the film fest is done.
Oliver Stone in the blue blazer with his back to us. I was like, fine I will take pics. It’s amazing what overcomes the crowd when a celebrity appears “I saw things”. Lmao.
He looked right at me. Powerful shit to make eye contact with Oliver Stone while you are waiting for your Hello Kitty bag to be brought down to you. Superfans had Doors posters (the Val Kilmer movie) for him to sign I was like Hell YES Oliver Stoner lets do this! They could not find my bag so I got to go up and get it and then I got to see more like rubbed shoulders while mobbed by people snapchatting it. I was just like I hope no one falls in the pool bye.
I went back to my old stomping foodie grounds to Allen’s on the Danforth and ordered the same three apps I have been imbibing on for a decade and they all taste exactly as they ought to. Was thrilled. Capon wings (rooster!) with real blue cheese and calamari with mongolian fire sauce.
The main showstopper is this blackened potato salad. I almost cried it was so delicious. Was going to get an order to go but that would have been excessive. Go there try it and try and tell me you don’t feel amazing eating this.
I am getting crazy for patios now that summer is over. This tree is 150 years old. Go sit by it. Go outdoors. Go sit in the sun take all the pictures!
The Used played the other night at the Danforth Music Hall. I saw Arcade Fire here and Broods. I tell the same stories each time we pass by it.
I signed with a talent agency. Movies and tv shows here I come! My other job lately is in promotions. It’s zany, pays well and is way non-stressful. If I bartend it needs to be on my own terms and be like, shitty bartending as in holding two highballs in one hand at once while I slosh JD everywhere and pour. Inspired and laid back. Roadhouse. Bukowski. The rest of my talents just get wasted otherwise. I am a peg that can insert into many holes but I find sales is my strongest field with writing falling beneath the umbrella which connects to social media and business.
View access opportunist.
Java house curry pad thai is so good and never changes. It’s bad good type of good. *drools*.
I took this pic of L’il Wayne posters as an example of how cool I still am.
Damn girl the high life is well lit.
Do not give in to FOMO.
I like that there is a lot going on here.
Ten Years of Brass Vixens what!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks gang. Kudos to all.
New happy things bring good vibes along with and help stimulate creativity.
Well if anything I am consistent.
My swag shirt from the ballet thing I did over winter. Swoon. The paint store was quite dramatic. I took a business call while there too #hustle.
It has been an interesting month!
I look like I am accepting an award. Or waiting for one.
Day two with Heather Ha ha. Don’t ask.
So cute. This party was so fun. Took us a few days to recover lmao.
We went for a ridic expensive dinner on the beach (that I paid for!) it was fun. In the middle of depressing winter I will be happy about it. I am a food snob but I will take view over standards any day no matter how many times we were forgotten about in the corner hidden by a tree. Beaches plus twinkle lights had me like.
we ate that. I don’t know who makes the decisions in our minds sometimes.
One of my conceited hand days.
Now I feel like a dick cos this looks pretty amazing. I am a cheese snob how about that. Potent. Give me potency lawda mercy.
In the end, Fella did not crash the convertible into a tree and a towering inferno of emotional flames. This little pupster was here today too. So cute. Grown since this pic. It happens very quickly they become boring adults like the rest of us.
I got to be a sexy beer rep one day. Being a hired hottie is interesting because it makes you act like a hot person but then your real stupid personality spills out and everyone is confused but no, I am a capable beer expert, you just focus on your brand and voila. Plus now we have a new hat to fight over.
Yo! I’ma write this hella quick then bounce and I’d like to see you at 721 Queen St West for some Sunday Funday action with BRASS VIXENS cos it’s the 10 YEAR CELEBRATION PARTY TO-NIZZLE 6-10PM Second Floor and also on the patio! Cheers to TEN YEARS with us. I have been working with Brass Vixens for many years meow and as Shannon‘s personal assistant since April. She said she can ONLY have crazy people working for her (thank god) so yeah that’d be me! Shannon is a sister a boss a friend and a mentor in one.
We have Panago Pizza in the hizzle arriving at 7 plus THREE decadent cakes from Carole’s Cheesecake you’re welcome. We know it’s a long weekend but whomever is in the city and part of the Brass Vixens posse don’t miss it. Face painting! Prizes! Performances! (not me this time I PROMISE) I heard a rumour about a fire performer too which I’ve seen before and will blow your little mind. Hey Hey and co. (those sexy booty shorts) will be there plus you have the opportunity to sign-up with BV on the cheap as big deals have been run all long weekend (tomorrow is a FREE Open House btw) go to that.
Likewise I would love to see some “Little Raymis” out and about too it’s not often I can make time and party with you and not be a nervous shaking horrific mess. Kidding! Anyway I am so proud of the success of Brass Vixens all due to Shannon Crane’s vision and expertise and cray know-how. She is expanding to Vaughan (classes start tomorrow) and Milton… building a studio in Mexico where she part-time lives (WTF!?!?! Nice!) and guess what people. Poledancing is here to stay. It has been TEN freaking YEARS. It’s not easy. I cannot do it very well. I am proud of all the girls on team Vixen they are superstars in their own right and they inspire so many other women. I have seen out of shape chicks turn into athletic champions it’s quite awesomely bananas.
Seeing is believing and I love this crew I am so pumped k xo gotta go see you back here soon or hopefully tonight. To those I know are definitely coming LETS GIVER and to everyone else don’t be shy we won’t bite (much) oh yes dress fun.
What can I say other than I blew it this summer in terms of being an ultra prolific bloggess. Just been way to busy work training and in my spare time doing my other gigs and also when you feel the eyes of the man on yuh you kinda feel majorly paranoid about bathing suit selfies and megalomaniac twitter rants etc. I’ve also got a few client-owed blog features that makes me avoid this place like the plague BUT you guys sure don’t and it weighs heavily on my soul. When a writer isn’t writing they’re typically fighting some internal/external battle elsewhere. This channel has become a reflection of everything about me. What I say, what I don’t say. I get repulsed by people often and I feel the need to choke their means of finding shit out about me. Sometimes you feel like being silent, going dark, for many days at a time until you feel your foe can’t find or hurt you. Then so many days pass and you’re like what does it matter if I wait more days just to remind people about my favourite colour and things to do again?
A lot of soul searching in terms of mild panic lately, can I do this, or that? What should I be doing with my life because if I keep doing x, y and z, I am going to be awfully unhappy for a long time. I think we always know what’s good for us and when the temporary solution band-aid must be ripped.
For me, it’s always writing and creating but when too much time passes I start to feel dead. Over. An over-achiever going under. I haven’t put in enough of the work in this stage of the process. My agent forgot about me. As I sit down to write this blog post right now I finally feel free and released, silly. It always comes back to you. You don’t need to have complete joy in your life to write an airy-fairy blog post. You don’t need a theme always maybe just a dream and a scream. If you’re good, you will always be good at it just be patient and wait until your laptop is fixed again haha.
The colder weather helps inspire me as it affects my moods and when the moods are ignited, out comes the crap from my head. Oh the feelings they’re just everywhere.
Wahhh wahh okay I’m done lets change gears now and go through some pics, kay?
Ha ha just one more of my new glasses (thanks Julian <3). Need to utilizie the instagram embed code feature more often it's such a time saver. Other (greats) bloggers I have seen complain about how hard it is to blog now. It's not just me. We have become spoiled on the immediacey of social so much so that blogging IS actually a chore. I use to be so passionate about sitting down for a good write. Prepare my coffee and do all my rituals then sit down FOR HOURS. I am not that person anymore. I am quite hyper-active despite bitching about never getting to do "anything for myself ever!" LOL.
I met Ava at last. My brother kept telling me how she looked like me and reminded me of him and we’ve been so busy this summer I carried a secret guilt cloud about seeing her. Then my facebook feed became about babies and DO YOU WANT TO HAVE ONE SOME DAY LAUREN? Ha it’s cool it’s cool but there’s no way I coul afford one right now. Nah I don’t feel THE SURRMOUNTING PRESSURE at all. I mean I am only 33 not like I have a CLOSING WINDOW or anything. Anyway. Ava blew my mind. I cried twice about the emotions I’d feel about it while brushing my hair I can’t remember what we did the night before… the month has been a blur but I know we are always short on time and rushed and frantic we have eight million different jobs and tasks to take care of all the time it seems so as I got ready I was stressed (as usual) to get my mother’s Happy Juice cleanse in time and coordinate being on the road blah blah.
I biked to Sugar Beach and Julian met me after his sound engineer session. He is working on his next greatest hit right now it’s truly amazing (I get to sing on it). We listened to the skeleton of the track over and over again. I asked him if he knew who Gentleman Reg was when he showed up and he was like yeah!? I go he is sitting right THERE. I watched him from behind for about an hour sitting and reading in front of me and kept it a special secret treat for Julian to approach and now they’re email buddies. Reg came over to meet me we have met many times over my tenure “in the scene” in the city of Toronto but it was nice to see him still kicking around. I do not have the balls to approach notables in Toronto. We’re not supposed to acknowledge celebs here for some reason. I am proud that Julian breaks down social barriers like that, went on over and sat down with him and I took photos. I believe it can be very isolating and lonely in Toronto in this respect. I know I was hella lonely the hour or two while I waited. A few times some old man or other would say something funny to me but for the most part no one talks in Toronto. There is a lot about Toronto I hate. There is always a possibily for a shitty interaction. I keep it nice bright and cheery. When not being insanely shy. Always approachable.
Sugar Beach is a lovely place about Toronto though. Staying in the liiiight. Also the Woodbine bike path I took there through the beaches and all that crap it was mega-mysterious, exhilarating and I wanna do it again asap.
I took this to show Julian what it looked like (first timer) and he asked why we hadn’t been there all summer (it rules) I was like, uh, I thought you hated beaches? No. Not THIS beach. Okay well next time I will have a look at my crystal ball and have that known already for you haha.
I’ve lost 5lbs since this photo was taken. Like that bruise? Renovations summer house bit me I clipped a table don’t forget I am 1. an amazon crashing through life and 2. clumsy af. Also the lights weren’t on. It’s almost gone now anyway. I have no idea what the weird alien one down the middle of my thigh is though I might need to start a bruise journal again. I wore those neon shorts to be seen and the bathingsuit for the sweat. First time ever wearing a helmet (thank you Corena!) I cannot believe I made it this far biking in the city without one like a grandfathered out NHL rule. I felt like 22 Jump Street in that helmet in a good way.
I wore these nike athletic capris to cover my bruise/to look trim for Nana’s and the dainty shirt to lady it up and it worked like a charm. Thank you for the shirt mom. See how easily I just said thank you just now.
And the boys finally met it went swimmingly. Shawn laughed at how Julian and I interact together. Nana loves Julian blah blah etc.
I had a vision and a concept for this. I think it came out a little forced though ahah.
Ava is a stunning baby and her temperament is perfect.
She would not take her eyes off me which I of course loved. It’s probably because my hair is extremely yellow and it’s hard not to look at me cos you’re like WTF is that? She liked Julian too so cute I die.
No caption necessary. This shirt is the gift that keeps on giving. Backstory. It comes from Forever 21 a few years ago and I bought it in the throes of some arrested developmental delusional bliss or other and it still looks good on me. Corena gave me an “I taste as good as I look” or something like that tshirt bahahha.
Can only be busted out on special occasions. Like going to shoppers.
Was getting sick of swooping my roots over. I love Donna Dolphy so much. I had to fight her on not cutting my hair. It was a tough battle but I conquered. Just say no to scissors.
It’s a bit less brassy now too me likey. I wanna keep it multi-tonal and healthy as possible which is why I let it grow out this summer like a beach rat. If you’re confident you can make any look work but I’d like less hassle and worry about it nahmean. Donna Dolphy Yorkville Salon said I am not like those princess major upkeep girls I am low-key that’s why she’s down to work with me which reminds me I am going to start blogging for her too. Oh the list grows lol.
Wow it got dark. I got used to it and didn’t mind. lemme know if you need hair help I’ll set you up with Donna nahhmean?
Julian hung with me this day bless his heart salon visits are long af. He got to see how ugly we look during the process he kept trying to take pics ughhhh. Donna will fix his hair next.
The closest I will ever come to playing pokemon go is wearing this hat. Maybe if I stole it too eh. I look good in hats not gunna lie. Let me know if you need a list of other things I look good in.
This dresser is gone now I miss it already. Our room is truly bohemme right now.
Julian had a show somewhere in all of this mess. Hi Heather! thanks to all of you who came out, it was noted and appreciated. Booking a live music show in August is sign a deal with the stressed out af devil. it’s a month when no one is really around it’s like herding cats.
Beach date with Tash and her kid and the pugs was fun and hilarious.
I have run outta time but this has been great. Check in later with more adventures soon promise xoxo.
Blogging can ebb and flow for a lot of people. Where do you see your blog in 2021?
Oh my God no idea. In five years I will be 38 and pretty upset if I am in the poorhouse, STILL haven’t made it, etc., etc. I hope raymitheminx.com in five years will be a tribute to the biography of my life. The book that I have been struggling to write my entire life. It’s not that I want a biography, I just want to write and I want to delight people with my style how I used to be able to like, endearing things about walks in the park and rocks that look like little friends in their own world down there where it is safe from the toxicity of people like us. I am really into imagination and have always brought that element into my blogging and storytelling so in 2021 I will be like JK Rowling but with more tattoos.
Adding the title of this blog post to the resume of my life as I have dedicated much of it to exactly that and I am still standing bruh. Now here’s some things from said life. Hold on tight y’allready made it through the cold open. Don’t get me started on comedy. Every sentence that comes out of my mouth is either a punchline or preamble to something (I find) hilarious. I am getting better. The key is to remember your material.
Mom stayed with us for a week and we all survived. Hey man I ain’t saying I am innocent either just saying is all. This is from Canada Day. We went to Woodbine beach after for the free concert and shenanigans in the beer garden with our roommate plus mom oh it was a time. Living in the beaches is ridonkulous. I will look back on this summer and cry whistfully into the wind. As much as I dig moving forward if I look back at all the amazing shit I have done in my life too much stacked together without enjoying those moments. When I look at skyporn cloud pictures from kew beach over winter I will explode. I will just explode.
Sushi/sashimi the other night. They forgot a roll we were like yes we want it. We ordered pizza later on at night cos we were still fung lol.
Canada Day. What’s in the baaaaag man.
Did your head explode? Good. This is Fella. We are bonding now. The little fart has my heart.
Taking him to the vet was a trip. A sweaty, eating my hair while my shorts were falling down and walking in the wrong direction of where the vet is -trip.
My face has been breaking out because I am aging backward in time. You have to have popeye’s at least once in your lifetime right. With gravy and biscuits, dirty rice and macaroni ahh gad the shame the delicious shame.
Starting the ol diet off with a bang. No more deep fried foods diet lol.
We walk as much as I try and force us to. We are living in paradise FOMO BRO. Thank God we don’t Pokemon Go. Not to be a hater but we have enough things in our life.
This guy had this house built on kew gardens property for his homegirl when they got married to keep her close and happy. Lucky chick. I read the plaque while drunken lawnbowler preps sauntered by me, rejected from the steamwhistle short bus (it was full). Could tell they were embarrassed because it happened right in front of me. One calls out, “claaaaassic” both in ivy league sweaters tied around their shoulders. I fucking love the beach for reasons exactly like this. So I sped up to walk ahead and let them bro it out alone up to Queen and a patio to continue getting blasticated but then they caught up to me reading this plaque. I must have read that plaque 4 times before I was able to retain any of the information written on it. Then another prep threesome walked by I could feel their eyes all over me. So much awkward loud silence like, I should have been HEY LEMME READ THIS TO Y’ALL AS YOU WALK UP THE STREET NOW. My problem is I size people up too quickly and then, I hate them. I had seen the gf ignoring the bf while on her phone and snapchatting her drunken mother riding around in circles on their bicycle. The bf had seen me note ALL of this. So in my head we had this, again, awkward knowing secret together. I bumped into them one more time as they headed into a bar when I noticed they were all wearing identical khaki pants and white buttoned shirts. Themewear for the lawn bowling club’s rager. Aren’t you glad I share things?
I really do love it here. It’s calm. Fabulously. I read alone on the beach. Not for long. I am too hyper and ADD but the whole process of packing a backpack, hitting some shops then reading til it’s dark while I get eaten to death by mosquitos forces me to slow down. It clears my head. I get lonely but I like it. To a point.
Julian Bachlow has been getting a lot of acting gigs lately it’s impressive. Some days are long shoots so we don’t see each other as much. Gives me time to reflect and to miss him.
Love this little nook we happened upon one day. It changes too. New things appear or leave.
Very The Friendly Giant.
Went to Fat Bastard burrito Saturday night. Everywhere we go it’s like performance art lol.
I know why it’s called fat bastard burrito though. Get a small. It’s gigantic. I ate it again on Sunday.
I had the butter chicken. Phenom. With noodles. It blew my mind.
Before we hit the road selfie.
Feeling this Beck jam big rn btw.
What should we call our variety show?
We watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High the other night. It is still amazebaaaalls. Sorry to bring amazeballs back. It’s crazy the cameos in it.
Super beached out af like it’s raining desperate.
My nails are naked rn about to paint them after this post or keep them natch. We will see.
What happened in Nice today…I feel like a dick writing this post. I began this post earlier then we went out in our “super ultra safe neighbourhood” and came home to the news. I kept running out to the porch to tell everyone because I am a disaster junky like that but also I have been desperate to write a blog post for days and keep getting sidetracked and this is like putting my foot down I AM DOING THIS and I am writing this fuck sake. It just feels like it’s raining bad shit all around us so I like to appreciate what I have and those I love. Cut the shit and get on with it.
I made him this bacon bagel sandwich with lettuce from the garden and tomato. It was out of control excellent.
Little pug pug made it to the big times. Everyone died when they saw him at the vet now I know why dog people like being dog people because they get to feel like the popular girl ALL the time it was like Jesus ENOUGH jk we love it I have stories of dog beach adventures man let me tell you life is good sometimes.
Have to get into my fancier gear once in awhile to remember that I still do that sometimes.
Someone is babysitting him for a few days this picture just tore my heart to shreds.
If this bridge could talk. Took Julian on a tour of my old hood. It feels like you know my life because everything that has ever happened to me in this park comes flooding back.. but how could you know. Anyway it was a trip. It was like I was just there yesterday. We off-roaded it into the jungle and my legs are all scratched up for it. Julian loved it… mom not so much. It has overgrown a lot in a decade and then some haha.
It was a tour of Lauren. I brought them to a cemetery in Streetsville. A friend of mine is buried here. We made friends with this cat who fell in love with us and followed us out of the cemetery and then my heart broke some more. I had a doctor’s appt in ‘sauga is why we were all there togeths.
I can’t wait to find my belt.
I can tell you a lot of stories about the Credit River. Involving me and/or others, the police, bush parties, fires, river walking, setting shit on fire, sneaking out at night. Forest sex. Crazy bananas things. What is this our Texas? Well, for a time maybe so, maybe so.
Falconer Drive is totes diffskies now. Shit of legend. Curfews at night lol.
Kay back to Toronto now. La la land. I see things you would not believe there is even a beaches mascot now, a dog, a guy in a dog mascot costume. Brilliant.
Losing steam here now people. Yeah it’s snack time.
All about dat neon tho.
I made a new friend one afternoon. We laughed and shared the best stories, totally vibed and took each other on a social adventure I could feel Don’s happiness as he told me about his grandmother, who championed him when he smiled on the inside and outside as he spoke. He blew my mind with some real talk perhaps too controversial for my blog but when he left he said he really enjoyed talking to me. I wished Julian was there to meet him.
Hahah what’s with all the emo pictures I will try to switch it up guys swear.
Your life is a piece of work and yes it’s work but it’s a piece of artwork so design it how you like share it how you want tell it how you feel make it magic make it real.
If you venture into this dog park you can pretend you are on another planet if you wanted to a little Jurrasic park here and The Martian there, nah bruh?
I watched the storm roll in wondering if it was a storm. Rolling in. Baha. Then I ran home in the lightning scared out of my mind. Lightning storms um nope. All the rain storms lately are cool it’s SO HOT the planet is like “time to explode into rain mawfuck burst inna rain son!”
I look like a bohemian slob most days so the one or two days I make effort I do the selfie thing so these are my faux apologies.
Sleeping on our new mattress on the floor has been FUN/NY. Okay I will tell ONE embarrassing story. Not really embarrassing at all but like, we were drunkies after sushi and needed more food so ordered pizza but we were rolling around on this frigging thing and like basically already on the floor..and drunk with the giggles. We laugh at our bullshit a lot at least. Wow cool story, nice and short.
Beginning of the mural. Maybe I will tackle it tomorrow.
Doing starry night has made me keen on researching Van Gogh. Quite the guy.
Oh look. MORE pictures of me. LOL.
Tash and I hit up Brass Vixens last week as well. Going for another class real soon. Love it.
Went to the Drive-in. A summer bucket list must! okay guys time to irl so ttyl xo rlw!
It’s hard to blog when you live in the beach. Have wicked ADD. Are busy af. Summer. OMG shiny things. A baby pug. L-i-v-i-n’ and sum such things but here we are now again so I will try to stuff something awesome down your throats. Truth be told I am not a massive narcissist I don’t feel the inclination to scream off a soapbox everyday my goddamn thoughts and espouse my opinions rantily. Blogging was always a powerful thing to me and the more you do it the more you get out of it. It also fatigues you just as much. Behind scenes I am a massive proponent of blogging to everyone surrounding me and I hugely encourage them to show show show! But me I don’t show or write shit as we all very well know lately. I have no reason to be clammed up rn at all I am just busy doing me. I am working on projects. I don’t need a ribbon for all of my things as in I don’t need to status update every time I floss. I don’t crave validation. I do feel bad about not writing as much (at all) and I throw it on the to do list. So here is a bloody blog post then ARRRRR I am 33 years old and going to talk about myself on a blog that I started 16 years ago.
We have been loving it here man. Beach time rules. I am a burnout at heart a born wild child free spirit hippie waste of space dickhead yeah yeah I know who I am. I see me. So the east end is perfect for that. However it is bittersweet every moment I cherish because this is just a sublet til September. I am always stressed out about shit anyway so what else is new what does it matter. Enjoy your life while you live it. It makes you less ugly if you don’t worry. Don’t get me started ugh.
New places and spaces inspire and take over your psyche. I was watching Season 2 of Bloodline on a Netflix bender that is set in the Florida Keys during hot day after hot day happily in front of a fan on the floor out here in the dead end of the east end. It does feel remote out here a little. The beach is incredible, glorious. New restaurants and bars to piss everybody off at yay!
We had the place to ourselves for a couple of weeks too that was fun and boy how June has just flown by. Enjoy every moment. Enjoying every moment. A psycho mantra in my head as I comb the streets the park the boardwalk lol.
No. Am not narcissistic. Just proud of looking pretty sometimes with minimal effort and it was kind of a skinny moment? Don’t worry I got progressively fatter throughout the day. I do things like that now. ENJOYING MYSELF EATING MAYONAISE FRENCH FRIES ciders panzerottis… just sharing facts and wrapping up the details of my life with you.
This phase of my life involves teenage regression. The pizza pockets lifestyle. Making up for many years’ lost time of not being a beach urchin. Now I know why beach bums seem like their brains are always blasted out walking barefoot in dopey hippie looks and dreadlocks. I am romanticizing like 1 person I saw once in Ft Lauderdale fwahah but anyway it’s because you hear the sound of seagulls and instantly melt into nostalgia McDonald’s dipped soft ice cream cones wet bathing suits stringy hair and freckles time slows and things that really mattered incessantly stop mattering. I feel like I have been living on the run for months it has been a long ass winter and the beach is a nice place to settle if you’re a weirdo like me. or like to walk around like a space cadet and you need some time to figure out your life.
Julian gave me this heart button the first time after we hung out. He threw it in my bag along with other trinkets and junk. We are the same like that. We like things and stuff. Creatives. Hyperly creative and excitable. He inspires me to try and be better.
I was sitting down the other day exactly where I am sitting right now. I was about to blog my face off. Then this dingaling turned up. Then he was placed in a nice home yesterday and now I can finally start getting some shit done today lol. There’s another pug puppy here but I am doing better at ignoring him. Keeps trying to friend me and shit but I am not having it so many dogs have gone through my life lately I can no longer handle it emotionally.
We totally bonded *sniffle*.
We had to move this kept knocking it.
Cutest of the litter in my opinion and I did not know personalities could differ so much or even be a thing so soon. I really loved this little guy lets never talk about it again.
This is my favourite house in the day. One of. I never saw it at night before. Astounding.
Always art jamming it whever the mood strikes too. Going to paint starry night mural out back.
Taking Brass Vixens classes as my schedule allows it’s great fun. Excited for a twerk class next!
We went to see Kiefer Sutherland at The Horseshoe last Monday. Took my Mom. Went to the after party. Ordered drinks on his tab. Killer night lol I say no more.
My mom got a lot of rad shots and managed to get up dead center I knew she would. I did NOT like the audience they were horrifically rude and snappy some people very protective of their personal space my mom got bullied too. I forget that as a couple you operate as a unit. You are simply, two people. So when you’re alone it’s easier to deek through the crowd alone. Harder as two. I cannot deal with rude jerks which is what we had to do and made it halfway through the crowd before a woman blocked us from going further meanwhile a guy is screaming in Julian’s face and that is when I LOST IT. It was hot af too. Just way too much after a long day at the beach with my mom.
Another one for the books as usual.
We all had our moment with him too.
Kiefer liked my mom more than me. I am fine with that.
I took the country band thing seriously and wore plaid. I should have dressed like a slonky. My bad. SO I didn’t even try to butter him up I was like hey. Bahah. We got him shots of whiskey which he didn’t drink so we drank them. Maybe he was scared of us. I literally don’t care.
Played some gigantic birdies badminton the morning after.
We got better as we played.
Kinda feel like playing now.
Rebecca came by with Bowie for a night that was a great time! I have many more pics to share later on everyone is talking to me in the kitchen right now it’s hard to focus.
We went to Le Baratin for dinner last week. Divine! Going on a diet tomorrow for frig sakes.
Oh lord yum yums.
I like fancying up sometimes.
I made a throwback collage.
Alright ttyl dinner time I’ll save Donna Dolphy’s post for next one xo.