exercising visibility

Hello friends! Mamember me?

As we know I’ve been blogging for a long ass time and in the time that my blog ages, so does your hero. Sad but true but it’s all about maintenance and upkeep. Look at my grown ass niece. And Heather, she’s my bestie who used to read this stupid blog for years and now she’s mine. Magical, magical, that blogging tho.

We spent the day after my bday hobnobbing around Queen West, the mall, mimosas, brunch, shopping, back to the hotel for martinis and nachos then went to see a movie (Get Out) which I passed out during a good portion of the “best part” so I will have to see it again.

Here is that same pic without filters, I don’t look so bad considering haha. The trick is to extend your checkout to 2pm and sleep every second up to that. I think I recall babbling at one point before it was lights out and my mom or someone goes, Lauren, you’re asleep, shut up. Hahahhaa. Heather did that happen?

My niece has a big heart. That’s her giving some change to the dude.

As you can see I wanted to do sweet f all for my bday. I got a full time job yo plus I’m a date machine right now, it’s killing me. I rented a movie then my mom showed up, then Hailey, then Heather, then my second wind showed up too. Mostly I wanted to provide a space for us to all chill and be ourselves and counsel my niece whom I don’t see enough. This is how you stay forever young, remain childlike and try to have fun. It’s hilarious this one hater attacks and attacks me and will no doubt chime some bullshit on her twitter after seeing the time my fam and I had. I hate haters. Like, you’re such a disease. The gift I wanted most of all was to see my niece happy. It wasn’t about me and making fun of us for “acting like toddlers” you are a sad ugly creature and you don’t know fun, never have.

Great photos all taken by my mother as usual, thanks mummsy.

It started like this though. All I wanted was a burger. I actually had a chill, the curtains were drawn my mom was like uhhhm? When I initially checked in alone I felt like a cliche but also a sense of independence and thrill at being alone for a couple of hours for a luxurious nap.

Heather and her sparkle boots won the weekend.

More examples of how much I didn’t care I packed the dumbest shit to wear. This was Sunday, went for a walk with a friend.

Want.

New clothes help shake the fog of winter off y’all. And if it says babe on my shirt people might think that I am one.

Tess brought me that hat to work. The sprad we had to dine on from Cheese Boutique was phenomenal thanks again. You shouldn’t really gloat about your bday at work but I did it for my fans. If I didn’t acknowledge the milestone of my birthday every year in some obnoxious way you would feel sad for me. I realy don’t care about my bday. right.

Hi mom. Nice shot.

We were hot messes after checkout and had to fix our situation. Thanks Heather.

Yeah I’m gonna need to get that taken in.

Brunch was so fun.

These are out of order because that’s how I get them from my mom’s facebook. Nothing changes.

Artsy.

One guy brought me up cake when my mom sad it was my bday, did not request (I don’t like cake tbh – gasp) but anyway he was swell you’ll see a picture soon.

So adorbs. Love you three dummies. xoxox

Lol.

We do have a beautiful city.

Hahahahaha.

My mom’s Facebook was lit this night. I am hesistant to post some of these best-ofs. Its’ funny how you “change” your approach to blogging exposure.

Pretty nice.

Pretty nice too. Heather fits in with my fam like, I didn’t even have to do anything it was great and seamless and it’s nice to have another Auntie for Hailey. Jesus take the wheel!

It was cold. DT is a legit wind tunnel all about that area jeez.

We had a wonderful time taking photos and changing costumes. I am very lucky to have a friend like Heathe who has lots of head accessories and love and makeup and life.

To be Continued gotta go!

People like a story tell it.

Hello my demographic. Now that I’m midway through the process of over-analyzing what blogging is and my approach to it, I’m prepared to dip my toes in the water and you are invited along for the swim.

I’m going to keep my captions as minimal af to get through it. I’m not going to say things, explain things. I will omit. I’ve a lot going on, I have been busy and work-focused and yes it is harder to personally blog when you have a FT but because I’m a “mood based” blogger, emotional, and ultimately not phony, I can’t fake it. I get pleasure from this so if I am miserable in real life I cannot do this. I need to be inspired.

A blog is a mirror of your life. My friend, who is also a famous blogger, told me she is an emotional mute when it comes to business, referring to her blog, she just gets’er done. Which I fucking admire. I haven’t left the game I’ve just let it gather time, space, and change. The last year of my life has seen much, I can’t even.

I was just speaking to a writer, an editor, who said he loves his privacy. He is also a fan of mine. From a distance. I said by the time you write about someone they can already be gone. Well actually, here is the entire chat transcript because yolo. I’m bold. As well as my writing is the writing in bold.

Sounds nice

Yeah. I’m a morning person
I like to get up and do creative work early with a coffee
I’m a writer / editor
Editing in the afternoons

I lurked you know
I*
sorry my laptop is ancient sometimes letters i type dont make the cut
Im actually planning to write today
blog. its been ages

Hahaha, don’t worry. I totally understand phantom letters
Oh cool!
I’m a total fan
The way you capture the version of a life.
I admire your storytelling

thanks. it has been so long now that i overthink it. i usually write about normal to crazy things but in my manner i feel like people get caught up in the emotion, as they should, but i feel too exposed.
i should just do it and think less
anyway we will see how it pans out

Interesting
Exposure is a price, certainly

i just came up with my blog title
People like a story, tell it.

I couldn’t do what you do for that very reason

yeah u have to omit a lot of things

I like my privacy too much

I just want to keep my job

I can imagine

lol

HAHAHA, of course
I am just so comfortable with anonymity
I’d never want to lose it


well why the hell are you talking to me then
;)

HAHAHA
You spoke to me first!
I’m sticking to that


life moves so fast by the time u want to write about someone they can already be gone
but yeah u can own it raymi followed your breadcrumbs (he liked my picture first, fact)

Oh I’ve definitely felt that
Actually, I find it easier to write about people / experiences that are deeper in the rearview
I need the time to tell myself the story over and over again
For it to get interesting

well they always come back to me and see ive written about them
or it feels like it
carries more weight
plus everyone knows everyone in this town.
so if i hang out with someone theyre like oh i know them, then go find out everything
or im paranoid

I find time shrinks the town
I’ve been here 20 years
And I know more people than Id like now
;)

yeah
u have to like duck behind dumpsters and hydrants
to avoid

Hahahaha
Nah, I’m thoroughly uninteresting I think
And aim to keep it that way!

hmmm
something tells me youre not uninteresting

One of the team is going away for awhile to travel, see the world, all that, so the week was spent (drinking) saying goodbye. I’ll feature all the pics of the goodbye pub party soon. I love my work fam.

Creepy. The overcast sky, ew. Not to be religious but isn’t it like playing with fire to destroy a church? A couple churches burned down in my hometown before by delinquants. If one believed in God they might fear death a little more if they demolished a church?

I work in Lesbianville, I mean Leslieville, sorry, am I that guy who is still making tasteless politically incorrect jokes…actaully I kinda am. I work with younger people and live with even younger people. I’ll be like sitting with them in the livingroom and their friends after work in my corporate clothes and it’s just pure jokes. I feel like I have lived many lives and it’s a thrill to live another one again and basically be Peter Pan forever. SOMEONE has to tell these kids what’s up. It keeps me young.

Kelly Bundy outfit day at work. I am going to go get some new office duds and by “new” I mean I’m going to Value Village and targeting fugly (adorable) eurotrash patterned, crazy loud sweaters to pop my collar through. I like to dorkify myself. What is wrong with me? An old friend of mine, when worked in an office, used to rock hilarious dress shirts and vest combinations… it commands respect and is a delight to the eyes. I just want to look like Frida fucking Kahlo goes to the circus.

Who else feels like they have to stay super busy or they’re going to explode? I think that is a good way to be, creatively ADD, to live a life like a painting, feverishly consuming one experience after another. We are like animals. Each night the sun goes down it comes up again and we rise to take on another thing to conquer, victory to achieve, level to rise. We always have to do better and build our little empires like ants who don’t know the apocalypse is coming.

If you maintain the ability to be enchanted by life then you will be alright.

I’ve decided to come out from under my rock and do things that I want to do again. See my friends. Be more social. Make new friends. New friends is where it’s at I am addicted to people. As much as I need my alone time. Anyway enough about me.

I loved the mural that use to be here I featured it on Raymi Toronto before check it out!

I have been told that what is wrong with me is my pleasure diet is too high but how much are you supposed to listen to what others say about you specifically that of old bastards. We all choose how we live our lives right? I indulge and then I like, starve. I don’t mind suffering as I am conditioned to it but I know that it makes the sweet all the sweeter.

Now that is one well done sausage.

How prophetic although I doubt they meant about the february heat wave we experienced last week.

Spotted in Yorkville. Someone’s Valentine’s Day was lit.

Greatest place ever. Authentic. I am all about escapes. I’m a culture sponge.

Beauty.

There’s a pub near work that has a donair on the menu cos they’re all Nova Scotians. Sick find bro. Although this meat isn’t legit thinly sliced and more of a “meatloaf” and it’s always a joy to watch the chef with his huge (un-netted) beard make it I mean, it’s a giant beard, long and scraggly and out of control but I am too shy to say anything. I will just calmly wait to find hair in my donair.

I am not one for desserts but this one I allow because I am a doormat. It’s a banana peanut butter pie and the bananas are still bananas it’s bananas. This is from my new locale that I am taking a time off from because I don’t like to be that girl although people always remember me. I need to start wearing disguises?

This day I treated myself to a pizza sub it was amazing. I think I saved a quarter to eat back at the office. Genius move. The owners of this particular location are insanely friendly, community-minded and sweet – it’s shocking!

They have cheap champagne here too I will have to bring Heather.

Plus this magical band. I call them, “Santa has an identity outside of Christmas”.

The t-shirt guys downstairs had this up on the wall. Love them. Getting shirts made soon and hoodies.

As you can see I am keeping busy. I went to a talk. About Mindfulness. Start-up Mindfulness. It was interesting and insightful. I really wish I had more time and energy to go into detail over all the facets in my life, what do you guys actually want to hear about though?

I love it. I wish it wasn’t hung above the preggo drinking warning ad though.

Hackernest. I go to events quite often these days. Maybe I will see you at one? Luckily I thrive in social awkwardity but I’m also great at taking the floor and control. People thought Lee and I were running the photobooth largely because we took control.

Pizza + booze + smart people = giddy-uppa.

East Side Mario’s really likes their Italian icons yeah. I love the glamour too.

My fifteenth birthday, my awful haircut (why did we do that?), my first serious boyfriend and a Boston cream cake. I will not say cream pie here aghhhh lol. I remember watching all of my crew walk on passed my dance studio that day, my birthday, was also the day of my jazz exam! I was so bitter. I passed with honours of course but still, I wanted to be a tomboy with my bros and walk home from highschool. I think we went to a movie. There was no booze or pot. Lame. Falconer whaaaaaaaaaat.

Do you like how I jammed my hoodie under my hat. It was cold. I hate the cold.

This was the day Trump came into power, a Friday. We had the inaugeration on. Pretty surreal. Tess brought in gold sparkles to add to our vodka. I love Tess.

I’d tell you why I seldom smile in photos but that would take all the fun out of it.

I want more designer shirts. Hook it up if you got it.

Blouses, belts, pants, dresses. Fix me! Benefit from my network.

We need to keep those who are also self-indulgent close to us. There is a kinship. We need to breathe life into the creative dust bag in the vacuum and sometimes likewise we need to have our breaths taken away.

How is that for a look. Rhetorical. In fact don’t say anything mean to me here ever.

I now own two of these ikea boudoir things. The price is right! My other one is in Burlington. Hi Burlington fam!

You know I love my collages.

It’s a ghost town on the weekends in this hood. CATWALK.

Went to a hipster place on Ossington and my date and I were accosted with hipster rudeness it was hilarious. Sorry but manners go a lot further than blatant snottiness. And no it’s not just us. The cloak of Toronto smug is a palpable routine for most in the service industry. So over it. I keep threatening to write a book about Toronto.

La Carnita is boss.

This speaks to me. A lot of funny shit went down here.

An interesting fashion day.

That’s my girl. We decided that we are best friends. Hopefully that will make my other friends battle it out and all like me more and call me to hang out bahhaa.

Hi.

Oh hi again.

Oh jesus hi again.

The nut does not fall far from the tree. Hi mom.

Bonjour.

That time I’m on a tv show that’s about to air as a Royal. Check ya later guys this has been great!

ttyl for now xo Raymbo.

this is not a year in review post

Omg you’re so welcome. I didn’t even receive my year in review facebook video montage, who cares. We know what I did. Can’t even stand what you guys all did the first time around right! Blah humfug. This isn’t going to be a self-congratulating (nauseating) I love myself end of year summarization blog post I see popping up all over facebook rn. It’s always by people whose lives are “good enough” so they should just stop there, done with gloating. We get it. Nice hair cut.

This is just going to be a fun post using whatever treasures I have hoarded on my phone the past little while.

After work every day I do not have the energy to write fluffy fanfare about myself, I apologize but whatever, you’ll get a post here whenever I can and today’s the day. I’ve suffered only a few distractions (play-by-play texts from my bored mother) and a few housecleaning duties while d/ling my collection of blog pics. It really is a process.

I will spare you the complaints about how boring it is going through my catalogue, emailing the best-ofs to myself then opening each one… scrutinizing each one and don’t get me started on mail batches it takes just as long. Ha guess I am not sparing you any complaining. Then I individually save images on my desktop, or a folder then upload them all to flickr THEN html for each image via there to here and some quippy stupid copy along with – it’s confusing. Life is too fast-paced and dramatic for this drudgery if you have a better system where I can be locked away without distraction, please tell me it. I mean, it starts out fun then it’s like please enough.

We had a great Christmas hope yours was swell as well. We did a lot. Have been on the run for weeks it seems. Will be nice to get back to the routine but am enjoying time off too. I really want to start eating better and exercising more now that it’s NYE and thus, one more party, we can get back to basics.

It was quite a delicious time all around.

Speaking about best ofs my mom and nana got out all the best crap we made.

I rememeber that year!

We have a champagne thing amongst ourselves my mom is into boozahol now and I love it.

I guess you could say I am rocking around the Christmas tree. Ten bucks says Nana invites us back to sleepover and take it down before she goes to Florida.

The girls on their way to mass. Auntie Winnie, my Nana’s sister, suffered two great losses recently. Her son a few months ago and now her husband, a week before Christmas. The older I get and experiences that surround me give insight into how fragile life is, time is fleeting, HOLY SHIT TAKE HOLD OF LIFE BRO. Every year I am told it’s my Nana’s last Christmas. That side of my family loves the dramatics but guess what? Rude gyal Eileen bi’gone to Florida asap. The secret to a long awesome life is to indulge the shit out of yourself and to travel to every pocket of the world that you can for as long as you can to the very end. Eileen is an inspiration and a bona fide testament to my papa’s love of adventure and travel, the world over. She has seen more than I have seen!

My mom and I dressed the same without even discussing it.

My outfit was a last minute idea I forgot I owned this thing, I had never belted it before either. I wore it the next day too it was working so well haha. The lighting at my nana’s is supremo ideal that lady knows what she’s doing.

We went to Julian’s uncles xmas party on xmas eve-eve holy gong show what a great time lol. I took this on the street before going up to their place.

Getting in a hair appt with Donna Dolphy just before the holidays was nothing short of war but I prevailed and it was her birthday no less. Oh we had a time.

Not a bad after pic/job she did no? Yes. Sizzling.

Donna made me beef patties. I had beef patties with Beyonce. It was the last day of work and thus, scotchy scotch I needed those patties yo haha.

I enjoy the height of my hair here.

The before wasn’t the worst either though. Donna called me fat the last time she saw me so don’t think I think too highly of myself, Donna took me down. She roasts me all the time, she is Jamaican haha. I was pretty thin when she first met me and my hair appointments are stretched out cos I like to let my roots grow (I am lazy) so people can gauge a difference when time passes between seeing each other. Probably why my Nana always roasted me… it all makes sense now.

We are all about the pong at work mang.

Visited the CBC building last week nbd.

We went to London the weekend before last. I work 9-5 m-f so doing weekend stuff is like a blitzkrieg in the schedule nahmean. I liked the scenery though sleep does me just fine.

we saw Arrival. How do I get free movie passes?

Our hood is pretty #respect.

I was called a Russian at the lcbo and this is what I looked like at the time I do not blame them.

The lighting all over Nana’s house is the best.

I think my mom is giving me this hat back hahaha.

Hi honey lol. This is Christmas day.

Our staff party was hilarious, fun, amazing. Margarita texted to see what I was wearing, I sent pics and she obvs figured it all out.

A coworker brought his mom and then they slaughtered us, well we won but at first it was very long and arduous plus they were only drinking pop so I kept having to drink the beer. I just had a disconap so it got me immediately drunk. Good times. That is my actual work desk too btw legit covered in beer on Monday lol.

Had to go to an event after work, changed before hand as these pants stretched throughout the day and I looked like a frump. Not bad on the legs however.

Went fer grub in town in the country a couple weeks ago I love this hidden gem pub.



Uber 5000
came over, made me a drawing on a canvas I prepped no big deal.

we played it cool.

Hi. Yes there is more.

This is my fav street selfie mirror. I do not overplay it tho.

Nice work dudes.

This was a fun night.

Got that phone for my Nana. And some lamps.

Forgot to post that I was featured on a girls with glasses website before haha nice.

Happy New Year’s Eve I gotta get in the shower now bud. See you in 2017!

highly woke

Hi friends, Happy Saturdaze.

Just checking in to say how are ya.

As I was making coffee this morning I got to thinking, watching the coffee grounds swirl around the sink and after checking on my laundry cycle I thought about something someone said to me once, how I was a “temptress”.

I stuck that in my bonnet for a rainy day. Today. Then I came up with a joke about it, as one does when they’re forced to look at themselves. So, I’m writing a new book called the art of temptation: something I used to know how to do.

That’s the joke.

Anyway, when it comes to marketing, one of the major important steps in the advertising process, is to tempt. Or, to tantalize (delight) then convert into leads.

Bet you weren’t expecting this Mad Men shit foisted on you on a Saturday!

How do I change or evolve? How do I eclipse myself now that I can’t be as brazen and not saying that I cannot. I just mean. How many selfies does it take, because it doesn’t.

I’m going to start making Facebook Live videos once I get proper lighting. Then, I will read to you. Why? So you can hear my voice. Then. I will make singing videos, or audio recordings too because that’s how arrogant I am about my singing ability.

I will also lose some weight by lifting some weights once in awhile. And by dieting. LAME.

When you’re good to yourself and take care of your looks you feel more confident instead of masquerading in a costume day in and out.

We had “book club” twice this week. The second night being last night. A Fridate. Success. We drink through it because the subject matter calls for it plus, we’re like reading here man. I feel like Oprah’s Book Club had wine in it. I am able to keep Julian listening for chapters at a time. It helps with our acting and Rule of The Bone is an easy read.

My friend Sarah (of Radmad infamy. Killer Karaoke parties in the beaches, where I now live, epic gal) bought a painting of mine where I emulated one of the femur bones from the cover of Rule of the Bone THAT is how hardcore passionate I am about this fucking book!

I first picked it up from SSS High and the first page had the word weed on it and I was sold dude.

I see that Banks has a love affair portraying young protagonists. Except for in The Darling, that one is about apes in the congo and all the Civil war bullshit going on there it’s majorly exciting you need to read it.

I like the run-on sentences and affecting different style accents throughout. Sometimes I read aloud as myself, as a hick, a Canadian, or super white trash-like. I will probably read the first chapter on Facebook Live. I can’t always be a keyboard warrior. Sometimes the man behind the curtain needs to step out and throw down.

Yeah she did!

We spent the weekend at my Nana’s. I got to see my Uncle Jim one last time. He died two days ago.

It’s a sentimental time of year. Okay sorry for getting somber.

I see a death almost every day on Facebook, we are all in this together.

I came across this recently. That’s my pops. Miss that guy!!

Okay. It’s shower time soon but I guess I’ll finish this off on a better note, hey?

We are hitting the country today so keep your eyes peeled for some scenic bullcrap coming your way.

It's not just all pho and games.

A video posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

I am really feeling boomerang right now as well. I need a tan though.

Homemade pho.

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

Made pho was good.

Something I saw today @toysrus.

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

And like this dog I gtg stare into the abyss now ttyl xo.

your pal raymi

Update:

“I think of ya every time i get dolled up”

Yikes I feel sorry for her!

Lol peace.

boring in a creative way

Holy it’s hard to do this shit now. What I mean is it’s hard to make time for it. To blog. I get it man, I get it — when they were always like “Oh my god if I didn’t have to go to work every day maybe I could be a popular blogger too” which still sounds like an excuse parading as an attempt to extinguish my own talent and dedication to the craft what is blogging BUT all I’m saying is I have been meaning to update pretty much every single day for the last month okay, and I am sorry about that. I received a spike in traffic the other day on my 17th year blogiversary and I thought it would have been a good idea to have something new up at the time. I am your classic gifted under achiever smug af writer. “I’ll get around to it”. Yeah um, years are flying by asshole. Give the people what they want now. Show this alleged writer’s craft marinating around your head day in and out. Make the moneeeeeeeeeey.

Alright. Lets start with thanking the audience for participating in my psychopathological (majority of) life-long obsession social experiment-in part that has gone on for too long in only that I should have published a solid book my now. Just think of me as one of those very cautious (lazy) and waiting for “the right moment” types of authors. Like the guy who finally wrote a book by blinking it all out painstakingly one, letter, at, an, insufferable, time. BY BLINKING IT TO A NURSE.

Then when he was done he died!!!!

Lol it’s true and is a movie you can rent… the something and the butterfly.

As you can see I 1. barely care and 2. have a terrible memory. 3. this is not wikipedia

I feel I have just consumed so much information from consuming the internet for so long it has wiped my hard drive. Like someone who did too much acid which btw, I have never tried. No need.

Where was I.

This post is an exercise in finding my bearings again and just to simply pleasure write again, in essence, and spin a yarn for the superfans. I really hate when bloggers stop blogging and it’s nice to live vicariously through other people, your favourites to stalk there is only so much one can derive from Netflix. Spying on each other is so f–ing good! Facebook, Instagram, am I right? They’ve dominated blogging right out of the running in terms of instantaneousness (I make super blog posts, I don’t do micro pointless clickbait ones). It’s easier to be an instagram star now. I am old(er) now and can’t do all the shit I used to for attention, so like, here are my words bro.

I just went into a blog post draft I started the night before my new job and yikes guy. Talk about over-thinking it. The post is entitled, “highly woke” and is pure useless nonsense about my fashion sense unlike this astute piece of Shakespeare before you.

I am tired now. Does this suffice, yet?

The reason I don’t smile in work selfies is because I don’t want people to know that I am taking them so if I always hold my phone like a statue and don’t smile they might think I am checking out stocks or like, intelligent websites that I am usually sleuthing for work purposes anyway (not lying we got content calendars to fill yo me bredren) but yeah it’s fun to get your work fashions on over the weekend I picked up a bunch of shirts from Burlington I had chilling just waiting for me, nice nice.

I have to write stuff for work too and I know that writing this post will help me with that as I am rusty and need to get back into it again. Talking, writing, just language in general. There are so many formats in which you need to communicate to various types of people, be formal professional and fun, but mostly the formal and you may hazard a guess at how good I am at all of that. Sometimes you wanna go off the rails and write an all caps lock rant idk, that’s fine but it’s better to do it without swearing or burning a bridge, insulting someone. Maybe perhaps it’s best to stfu and say nothing. Not every emotion or thought needs to be expressed.

Anyway. I am loving my new job. It is quite rewarding. I will tell you more about it in time.

This was the AMA (American Marketing Academy) event from earlier in November. Going out is important for networking, and is always worth it because you get great ideas. I always say any (good) event can make me for a month afterward if I work it enough. Some people don’t need to, fine fine, good for you but I just mean you will always meet somebody new to collab with and I am social af, I like to chat and laugh. If it’s not fun, I am not there. It all feeds into itself. These are my lifestyle blogging roots in play. Trying to tow the line between being myself and being what I think they want me to be and, who is they? Hahaa.

I am starving right now my brain is eating itself sorry for being incoherent or insecure I am going to press pause and order delivery now brb.

I ordered Peking Express I can’t wait. Update it’s here and I didn’t tip very well oopsies.

For the last month I have been re-watching (spacing out during some episodes) Mad Men and now I am a few episoes away from completion. Julian has been watching with me and got into it. You can picture me eating chinese food watching it tonight if you have nothing better to do. I enjoy it because I spot newer things I like watching people work I guess? It’s not as interesting now though because there is less work happening. Wow I’m a super funaholic.

This was on Halloween. We didn’t do anything. I feel like we stopped into the bar on the corner. It’s likely.

I was on a tv show. I don’t take acting as seriously as Julian does so I will legit spill the beans and tell you which show once I confirm that I can at least say that? I got more air time than him for once. He’s been in a babillion productions since summer and is surprisingly not a braggart about it or posts costume selfies or wardrobe or any of that. One day pretty soon I’m going to post this Elizabethan kinda gown I wore on another production that I will not name so that there is no way they can sue me for it. Fuck it. My blog comes first! I have gotten gigs specifically because I am Raymi The Minx and non-actra aka “a somebody” or requested talent so I don’t bow to the whims or ways of “acting world” rules ya feel me? The pay is shit. The hours are shit. Most of the people are shit. It makes you look like shit (tired) and you get sick. You watch everyone before you get to eat. There are so many laughable things. You are basically annoyed the entire time. You have to listen to stupid people all day long that you can’t just tell to shut up. So you listen to them talk and talk and get shushed or screamed at by AD’s or Directors. Sometimes it’s fun and okay. You just need to be the right person for it. I’m hangry and I am not trying to be biased, just reporting. It’s good when they book Julian and I together but I can only really do it on weekends now and you can’t predict when you’ll get a call for something. We were in the Nutcracker too and I am only saying that to impress any little old lady reading this now.

I probably also hate acting because I always feel ugly because the look is out of my control and the MUA doesn’t know how to make me look pretty how only “I” can tbh and there are no instagram filters on set. Okay this post has degenerated into abbreviations gtg xo haha zzz ilu bye!

blogging on broken glass

Hello Friday Mcnasties! Do you like how bloggers all try to put this amenable, approachable bullcrap on you like the second you load their blogs oh, you’re doing quirky voice today eh we’ve got a funny guy on the loose here. Well, it’s raining today so wtf else are we going to do here? I’ve uploaded a ton of pics so just be quiet and listen for once please thanks!

I don’t think I had washed my hair for a few days before hitting up our Brass Vixens shoot last Sunday and getting across town during the waterfront marathon was absolute HELL ON EARTH. Why do you have city marathons interrupting city people tryna do their city shit for!? Seriously, please go run in more acceptable places like RUNNING PATHS or FORESTS, MOUNTAINS, SHORELINES, SIDEWALKS… OMFG you cause so many domestic disputes and accidents, road rage, delays, trouble etc for everyone else when you do your stupid selfish charity runs. Just donate the money and call it a day cos donors believe y’all when you say you’ll run for the cure or whatever it is. Running doesn’t cure cancer it causes cancer. There I said it.

This was taken on Thanksgiving weekend and a Little Raymi jazzed it up for me.

This is called Lyra. It’s a combo of aerial and hoop. Circus stuff. Lyra is the hottest craze of all the alternative dance exercise on the market right now and it’s actually sort of easy if you were a monkey on the jungle gym growing up. It’s great for poses and beautiful photos. You should see how the other Vixens do it, they move like fairies made of bendy magic it blows my mind.

Will be doing more of this for sure!

Hey down in front.

Yes alright fine I like birds okay lets not make a big deal about it.

Birds and sunsets if that’s fine by you. I have a colleague who is a (raging nerd) “birder” and every time I so much as post or like anything bird-related he razzes the shit out of me for it. God forbid I like a beautiful video of swans landing in slow motion this bro will immediately invite me to go bird-watching with him and shit hahaha. It’s been 6 years. When we reach 10 I will consider it. I love nature and animals as much as the next person but I don’t exactly feel inclined to grab binoculars and sit in the cold watching something with a beak flap around. Birds are pretty straightforward in my opinion. They have wings, they fly and can crap on you. The end. Oh, I have been dive-bombed by a couple of birds before too which is terrifying lol.

Okay we get it.

We were cast in a thing together over the weekend don’t know if it’s a tv show or a movie but if you think really hard about it you could probably figure out what the production is. A classic. I’ll get sued if I say anything else.

I’ve seen a few plays here. The Elgin and Winter Garden Theatre is an historical, beautiful theatre it’s nice to go there for absolutely free and snoop around its exquisiteness.

A gas leak was afoot down the block from it so felt a little PTSD.

I love Vaudeville. *Googles what vaudeville is*.

I posted some bathroom selfies to be more covert about our location. I’ve seen other cast full-on putting location on blast on other shoots I’m talking IG stories to snapchats and major selfies. It’s harder to police that these days. On another production I did we were going to snitch on a girl as a matter of fact cos we heard she was instagramming fight scenes and integral plot points like WHAT!??! But then we saw she had like 11k followers and it was a private account we didn’t have access to. You get bored and start to go crazy on a seventeen hour shoot. That was the one where my phone went in the pool. Instant karma I guess. Shit like this always happens to me lets be honest so whatever.

In the movie business shockingly, you will meet a ton of awful (and awesome) people. Selfish divas who never made it. Actra people get treated like the sun shines out of their assholes. You recognize some of the same people the more things you do and there’s a few stand-outs I enjoy studying from afar. Like the one guy who ALWAYS LOSES HIS TEMPER and blows up at the room, yelling at us for some answer we don’t have nor are obliged to say and so no one answers him. He lost his cool at lunch time once and then later on tried to be nice to me I was like, nahh.

Another time a lady full on smashed my foot with her heel and I noticed a nice nickel-sized bruise on the top of my foot the other day from that. No one is ever paying attention either, they’re always talking over the directors or AD’s and I do not hesitate to shush the fuck out of them because it keeps us all there longer.

Acting is all about working as a team with so many weaker links. Even though I am a n00b I do not take any shit for example, a chick tried not to let us have the empty chair beside her the other day and guess how well that went over for her? When people think they can get away with rudeness ahh helllll no *removes hoop earrings*.

It’s a competitive industry too as you can imagine so you have to place yourself in a spot you anticipate they will be filming once they call action. I luck out most times by how I look and being tall and just dominating as much space as I can without being desperate. You will definitely see me (and Julian) in like 95% of the stuff we have filmed. There is only one thing I did where I didn’t care as much and happily fell back a little. Earlier shoots are like that. Sleep deprivation kills me above all else.

Whimsical! Click to enlarge.

We hung out on the beach the night before. It was chilly so we didn’t stay there long but I try to make us do it any time I can win.

A woman asked me if my glasses were real in the bathroom at one point. Yes. These are REAL glasses. She meant prescription. I said YEP. Then I had to say YES 3 more times and say they were reading glasses (but I do have perfect vision, they help me) and then put them on her face so she could tell. Another woman walked in and mean-girl dissed me by saying those glasses look GREAT on you. The first lady became embarrassed and took them off, passing them back to me I pointedly said thank you, they are $400 Christian Dior glasses and they look great on anyone. BURN. The lady was gobsmacked.

I know what she thought. I was just some poor hipster poser rocking fake frames then I came at her with KNOWLEDGE. They’re from Oakville from a client of mine called Next Optical. Bye. We were all in our black tie wear. See how competitive people are for no reason? Especially older women. It happens all the time. I am a threat I know it. Deal with it or leave. I took it as rudeness because she approached me with arms out as if she was going to take my glasses off my face from the get-go and pop them on hers just to see if she looked pretty in my glasses which she assumed were just costume accessories. Yeah, no, back off.

Please pray for my cousin. She’s not sick she just look like a Lego.

ha.

Our local variety store. These chicks love Julian cos he buys their smokes gamble tickets and coconut juice ad nauseaum.

Went to The Mandarin with his folks last week. It’s their thing. We drove all over town afterward with them hitting agencies collecting checks during rush hour traffic. It was bonkers and we can all laugh about it now.

A side-by-side of my new niece and I.

Twerk class a couple weeks ago. I gave this very shirt off my back to Tash in class cos she was dying in her 3/4 length sweater why did she wear that I dunno but I miss my shirt now oh well I have a purple one still. I prefer to be generous instead of greedy if I can help it.

My hair was ten times rattier after class. I love twerking. It’s scandalous. Isolated movements in dance are hot.

Loving my new phone and its gaudy case. The camera is better than the one on my last phone.

Working our way through Kitchen Confidential. Anthony Bourdain is the man. He has the best life and I am going to learn how to do the same by studying his book.

I already know a lot about the food industry, the booze industry and man I’ve got stories and no I ain’t saying I’m an angel. Which reminds me I have made a breakthrough with another publishing house! IT’S MY YEAR BITCH.

How many silly goals in life have you set for yourself? One of mine (or several) is to be acknowledged by my idols. Anthony Bourdain is one of them. Maybe my SEO skills will bring that ol bastard my way. Another way is to get mega-famous, yourself.

Went for sushi the other night and we had the best time we’ve ever had there. We are becoming Beaches locals now, recognized and adored. There I said it. We met a sake sommelier here too.

My second meeting with a new agency went pretty good! As in they’re sending me a contract. Everytime I try to work in fields that aren’t my true calling (like the service industry) it doesn’t pan out for very long. I am a genius lets be honest and my talents get wasted slinging cocktails lets be honest. It’s like Bill Gates working at Mconald’s like please stop. So I am glad I get to be a freak of nature in an office setting again and use my godgiven social media talents. It is personally rewarding to work as a professional in your very own field of BLOGGING that you have lived and breathed since you were seventeen. Pride comes before a fall so I will shut up now.

Big fam jam parties all Thanksgiving weekend long I am glad I can get back to periodically starving myself again and slimming out okay that’s all for now bye bye!

What Would Raymi Do

Once in awhile, I use my brain for what it’s good at: persuading people that I am talented, smart, right, and good looking. In any of that order. And so. I was just recently asked my opinion on a matter. I figured why not share it with you guys too and launch a new Raymi the Minx blog feature entitled: WHAT WOULD RAYMI DO in the process. Good? Great.

Hi Raymi,

I just wanted to ask your opinion on this, do you usually see writers get refused for interviews and what does one usually do?

Attached along with this Question are a few emails that I will not disclose here but basically the question is pretty straightforward so I’ll just go ahead and answer it now. Here’s what I think.

It can happen. You need to use the right non-threatening albeit apply some pressure tone before you lose their interest and get ignored. Finding them on social (twitter/FB/LinkedIn) and approaching via that route helps cover some bases. Personally when reaching out and trying to get a response I go into it assuming I will get a YES from whomever I contact. You need to highlight the benefits first for them – why they want to make time for your needs. Do they get exposure or leads… appeal to their ego and be flattering so that they can’t help but want to be interviewed/profiled.

Basically, having a novice reaching out you will experience some hiccups if they don’t have the right PR style or know-how. People have a sense for amateurs. If the one writing the email/pitch can’t sound enthusiastic or exciting it’s hard to persuade the receiver to get on board. Then again, some are hungrier than others out there. I have seen handlers and management barring access to talent through email volleys going through multiple (accredited/connected) channels and still never get their mark. So, don’t be dismayed. It takes practise, persistence and someone who can write to get that interview. Make it as easy as possible by providing the questions ahead of time so they can answer at their leisure and circle back by the deadline you give. Bribe if necessary. Offer them the floor for 5 minutes at your next networking mixer? Lol. Hope this helps.

And there you go have a nice day.

can you smell what the blog is cooking

Hello glorious people of the world. My colleague thinks I am doing the RTM version of Hogtown pro wrestling coverage here rn but I’m not. I just “can’t” today. I need to do something more artistic than that just saying! Lets wrap up the last week of my life or whatever’s clever, yeah? Yeah!

My mother recently said I was a hyper-active child that needed to be stimulated at all times. I knew this but I did not know this. This information would have been useful to know several years ago for sure. I can’t sit still it’s true. I flit! I am always hunting for my next big fish, something to focus on and give all my energies to. Unload aaaaaaaaaaall my passions into. I’m a lover I really am. A clingy, stalky, obsessive compulsive, fixater. Non-stop thinker. A wise guy. Yesterday Julian and I were painting and jamming out in general in our room together. Then I started lifting weights while he stared deeply at his painting with brushes and paints scattered everywhere. I asked if we were acting out being in jail. What that would be like. Doing every creative thing together as possible to avoid going insane. Eating. Drinking. Smoking. Dancing. Laughing. Netflix. Gambling. Video Games. Julian’s Dad says we live like rats lol. When we visit there he hates it if we sleep on the couch.

I get glimpses of these bohemian moments of my life and it’s everything I ever wanted but it is also jarring as in WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!?? I watch old films like a Ghostworld cliche and I study the faces of actresses and compare all the lines and appearances of age in mine to theirs. Plotting botox and more sleep. Dieting. Well I guess that part is normal. Everyday there is something in your face about aging ranging from desperate to scary. I try to transcend it and not care. It doesn’t really gotta matter cos this party don’t stop.

Every single job I have more or less revolves around beauty and self image. Being hot and clever. I act, I perform, I approach strangers with a phony smile to get their data while they blow smoke in my face cos they’re blasted and it’s witching hour.

Had a good meeting yesterday. That’s all I will say for now!

Ordered killer rice and tacos. It was all excellent. Shout out to Grillies.

Protip. Wear the dress from one job to land another. BOOYAKASHA!

We went out to eat at the steak house and as you can tell I have trouble letting go of summer BUT I am transitioning into fall okay doke. I love how brands offer TRANSITIONING into a new season guidance like you can’t figure out to put on pants by yourself and a sweater. “Everybody in trench coats!” OMG emergency.

My legs looked extra long I felt you should see too.

I wore my black pumps for the funeral then uglied it down with these bad boys for comfort.

People seemed to dig my vol au vent story on FB so here we go…

I finally had a vol-au-vent (pronounced [vɔlovɑ̃], French for “windblown”, to describe its lightness. I learned about this frenchy dish while doing copy for TH when they launched a vol au vent on their Quebec menu and henceforth always wanted to eat one. Last night we had a 5 star version at Love Me Tender Steakhouse. Divine.

We had scallops. I forgot to tell Julian about the time in Maine when my ex had scallops during the superbowl and we think he got red tide omg why am I saying this now lol. Anyway it was scary af.

I hate when I am trying to take pictures and people are lurking around you have to pretend you’re not dying inside from humiliation but the sun is hitting your hair just so blah blah… I walked home from my meeting it was conveniently close-ish to ma hood. I was an empowered business lady I will have you know.

Orderd off the kids menu the macaroni bites. Did not know they came with fries. We pigged out.

We had a delicious time.

I am doing lots of exercises now. I am owning my lazy juicy figure but I am also recklessly abandoning it that’s what’s upppp!

We periodically frequent this french place nearby but I am gonna put the breaks on that cos it’s dumb to go somewhere just cos you like their 14 dollar glass of Mcmanis (it’s so good though) but you can get a whole bottle for $20 at the lcbo. Anyway need to cut the wine snob shit down a bit.

However their spicy caesar is amazing and half the price. Julian can have two to my one glass of red haha.

These ghost streetcar tracks posed ornamentally at a nightclub are a metaphor.

We are planning to do a show together.

We took the Danforth way home I forget why but stopped here to eat. The blackened potato salad is unbeatable.

He forgot to rim them.

Liked his truck. Bad ass. Julian and I both have secret agent complexes which military and cool shit like that fall in line with. We are both dramatic, into cinema. Loud characters. Lots of energy. Creative types you know the sort.

I need to go make dinner and slice some cucumbers now y’all so ttyl for meow.

TO BE CONTINUED.