a dialogue
Dear Raymi
I took a long look at your blog last night. One of the most interesting things to me is that you look much different now than you did even a month ago. You look a lot younger, even radiant. Whatever you’re doing with diet, exercise, love, etc., it’s working. I was like, “damn, Raymi went from 25 year old hipster party-face to glowing, youthful sex-kitten in like a minute.” There’s also a twinkle in your eye that wasn’t there before. You look more grounded and confident. Maybe your health is helping you to feel more sane. I know that when I started getting healthier in body, my mind followed suit…somewhat. But the funny thing is that I had a crazy panic attack when I was reading your blog, but that’s probably because I was high and realized that the earth would implode with all kinds of ironic energy if we ever met. Congratulations. I literally had an intense physical/mental reaction to experiencing your blog.
Have a splendid day.
Vane$$a
the only thing that’s changed in my face is that i am using a different camera, the one before washed my face out and made me look terrible, so really i wasn’t all that rotten-faced before, twas the camera’s unforgiving fault not mine oh and im wearing a shade of makeup thats too orange/dark right now, they didn’t have my shade bla blah thanks though
funny re: anxiety, i get it every time i load/leave a comment on scarnage i don’t know why i bother i get carved to pieces there, even a death threat which gave me the wickedest panic attack of my life ugh
i was worried you were going to be mean to me or something and i was too hung to deal with it and your email was a nice happy surprise so thank you, i too had a panic attack this morning though it was booze related, that’s the one thing left in my life to conquer
what’s your gig i want to see what you look like, no fair etc
I don’t know that I was going to be mean to you. Maybe for the sake of entertainment, but not literally. It’s all a big joke. I thought about completely objectifying you in a real sexist way, waxing pseudo-erotic/poetic about your body and how you remind me of Anna Akhmatova, but then I read your blog and decided to just say hello. But yeah, it’s a rough crowd over there, but I bet most of the posters at SC are real sweet when you meet them in person.
I get most of my panic attacks when I’m driving on busy highways or standing in line at a store. It can get a bit dangerous when you’re behind the wheel on an expressway. To say the least, I don’t do much driving anymore. One of my theories about panic attacks is that they’re what happens to sane intelligent people who are freaking out about living in a world dominated by complete morons. It’s pretty scary, right? Most of us probably have at least one if not many deep traumas in our past with some everyday retard. It makes perfect sense that we have panic attacks.
I never thought that you looked “rotten-faced.” That’s quite the trick though, looking better when you get a camera that produces clearer pictures. Most people look worse when we can see their faces better. And you do remind me of Anna Akhmatova, but with a much smaller nose. Your face is real distinct and intelligent yet classic and abstract. A true beauty.
So, you want to put a face to my persona? Sorry, but if I had a dime for every request I’ve had along those lines…I’m not hiding anything, just paranoid and not ready to give it up to people who I don’t know. Trust doesn’t come real easy for me, especially since I have a few enemies in cyberspace who I know would go to devious lengths to find out who I am. I admire your openness a lot, but I just can’t go there right now. Here’s a hint, I’m very European looking. haha. Does that help? If we become friends I’ll eventually let you look at my flickr account or something. And no, I’m not hitting on you. I just think you’re interesting. Another thing we have in common is that we’re both attached to infinitely pretty people. It can be rather hard on the ego. See ya.
embarrassingly i had to wiki anna akhmatova, thank you
i wish i focused more on writing rather than my looks, i feel time is running out and i know how i look plays a big role in this stupid blog culture game, i wonder how long i can do this for and think there are so many younger twinks coming onto the scene but then tell myself to shut up and maybe play it from a rock angle, sort of, not to care as much
understand completely as to wanting to remain faceless i have a few friends on the internet/real life who refuse to have photos of their faces shown but yeah, that’s what trust is for, so as rash as it is for me to go yeah you can trust me, just saying that i can actually be trusted and i do keep secrets and i’m in the same boat too, is all, i have enough pieces of shit stalking loons on my plate for entertainment
ok how old are you then
I had no idea that you’re a celebreblogger and former Vice intern. It’s like you went to college at Irony University. I finally put it all together yesterday. Nice post today, but you’re so harsh on the male of the species. When you were talking about the Japan guy I pictured you with a knife in your hand, going for his balls. Pretty scary.
Mid-thirties. You know I’m a dude, right? Maybe you didn’t know that? No, of course you did. Vane$$a started as one of those innocent jokes that goes too far and then you can’t stop.
I’m viciously hung over today. Are you a French alcoholic too (my mother’s a DuTois, father’s a LeRoux but neither of those are my last name)? I’m afraid that I’m starting to get booze-face like your cousin got when he moved back to Lowell. Not sure what to do about it. When I was a kid, my parents had that wine bottle coaster that says, “un jour sans vin est comme un jour sans soleil.” It should be more like, “a social event without whiskey is a social event with many panic attacks.” brrrrrump-bum. I slay myself.
Hope you’re having a fabulous Lauren kind of day. Much peace to you and yours.
no i did not know you were a dude no wonder ha
im v gullible and lazy
ive been online exchanging correspondence with loons for far too long i have no extra capacity/energy to go rootin around for bg info so i pretty much just take it as is until they get sketchy on me then it’s like whoops shoulda been more careful with that one
the drug dealer thing i wrote that went on up carnage i never should have linked it from my blog, it gave voice for all these turds i had long ago banned and was really bad timing all around
i have some far out there psychos i don’t even know where to begin to start
the only thing i’ve learned from all this is that i think people are kinda done with hearin’ it like it is ie. the vice way and that’s how i created my online persona and it really worked for awhile there
so now i’m trying to go half-soft half-prick
i don’t hate dudes i just hate arrogant fucks who advertise their intentions like that, i just think that poor woman
plus i have been wronged before and i don’t think i can let it go
why am i writing you this
Everyone at SC and Vice always mentions the gender thing and Vane$$a. To be more specific, they give me a lot of shit about it. They treat me like I’m this immensely confused guy, sitting at his computer in drag, saving up for that sex change op. It would be pretty funny if they ever met me in person, especially since i could probably kick all their asses with one hand. I wrongly assumed that you had come across it some time during the last 3 years, but I got suspicious when it didn’t come up. My fault.
I don’t think you hate men. As you said, you’ve been wronged. That’s obvious. It’s also pretty evident that you really love Phil and your life as it is. It amazes me that men read your blog and that somehow that doesn’t sink into their soft little brains.
You’re gullible? I know how that is. I actually believed you when you said that you exploit men for money. I honestly thought that you were a hooker with a heart of gold or something along those lines. Your gullibility makes me laugh when I think about you among the vampires in NY and LA. It brought back memories of my life in Chicago. I can only imagine the stories.
Half soft, half prick? Hilarious. People will never get tired of hearing it the way it is. Instead, they’ll always love hearing people with a talent for telling it like it is tell it like it is. They’re becoming more discriminatory after years of the internet and dealing with the opinions of people who can’t write and don’t really have opinions worth hearing. The half and half thing works for you. You’re evolving.
Haha. Yes, why are you writing me? I’m just a harmless thing who writes all day and chooses unsuspecting people to briefly inflict myself upon when I need some interaction. Sometimes it develops into real friends, usually it doesn’t. In real life, I’m exceptionally asocial. No need to respond to my ramblings. I enjoy telling people what i think of them. It’s not as if this is a fair dialogue anyways. I have tons of info about you, but you know virtually nothing about me. Sounds dull as hell for you.
Hey, before I go can I ask you a business type question? Do you make any money from your blog? If you do, is it what we might call a living wage or is it chump change? I don’t want to pry or anything, so tell me to go fuck myself if necessary.
when did i say i exploited men for money, did i say that? i said i exploit the men who try and show me pics of their disgusting penises, but that’s not for money, that’s for laughing at
i do make money from my blog, i have ads and certain things i plug sneakily, my art sells for a fair amount based on my “celebrity” and i get money from the shitty book i wrote, i have another piece of garbage on the way i haven’t looked at in ages, a bit stressful to think about it, how lazy and spazzy i am
i am also currently working on another project i can’t really discuss yet
it’s tough, canada is tough, i feel like if i was in LA i’d of had a stupid show already, that’s what i keep telling people anyway, or deluding myself into believing
so vane$$a had me going and got under my skin a fair bit good work
This dialogue is a massive fuck that is clustered. You know that? I always associate the word “exploit” with money. When I laugh at someone, I don’t think I’m exploiting them, I just think I’m being realistic. But I see what you’re saying now. I really did think you were a prostitute at first. Isn’t that crazy? The blog seemed like a front for your business with the pics. Like you’re the pastry in the window. I doubt anyone else sees it that way, but I let the imagination go and then it just keeps going plus the exploitation reference. you did say that you exploit men, not for money, but for “material.” I thought you meant material items, not humor material. I was like, “I’m gonna get to the bottom of this. I’ve always wanted to be friends with a Canadian prostitute. I bet she’s real tough on the outside but sensitive on the inside and she’s probably been around the block many times and can relate to all the shit I’ve been through, and she’s probably using her hooker money to pay her way through med school, and on and on…Did you see how they kept fucking with Vane$$a at SC yesterday? Did i ever tell you about the on-line Nazi stalkers that hooked into her? Threatened to “end” her and what not. Scary but I know you can relate. It’s okay. Just as long as they get me and not my love, but I guess she really does love me so they might as well get her too. I’m sure that’s what she’d say. My paranoia raged yesterday. And saying I thought you were a prossy? That’s absolutely a compliment, although I probably know not of what I speak. Ciao.
ok if i was a prostitute then what about phil? haaha man oh man
what went on with vanessa yesterday i try not to look at the sc comments too much they really scare me and make me run for a crap
i had a massive anxiety attack on 911 thanks to a death threat on there i was supposed to host a karaoke party and i i barfed three times in the bathroom at the venue and had to go home it was brutal – thanks internet!
i was an online web girl “model” when i was 19 though, virtual hooking?
phil? ridiculously good looking gay guy that you plant in the blog as a fake bf/psycho deterrent and for real pimp-o-matic bodyguard. virtual hooking? better yet advertising and then you meet up at a swank hotel. yeah, when i found out you’re a celebreblogger i researched you and found your set of pics by the furnace and on the kitchen counter. so saucy. i felt like i had just found out something quite revealing about my baby sis.
at sc yesterday we had things said to vane$$a like “eat shit and die mother fucker” quite a few times. it’s funny at first, but then i need to run for the hills and hate the dark dark world because you can see the psychopath behind the screen. don’t bother looking, it’s real dirtbag shit but a bit funny in retrospect. i’ve been sober for three days. to say the least, i’m doing some overreacting. but still. fucking wankers. vane$$a was in filthy form herself. i remember you telling me about your death threat. sucks that it happened on 9/11 to boot.
i was just laughing my ass off picturing you getting all pissy because yuo’re too lazy to change a few words in our dialogue. good thing you quit the weed.
fil is too masculine to be gay
whoa, that was um….interesting…..
So I just remembered that I can vote for you twice because I have a laptop and desktop, I imagine that many of your other readers have multiple IP addresses that they can use to vote for you. Just thought it might be helpful to remind them of that. Every vote counts when it is so close.
whoa i want a camera that makes me look hotter
i was so bored at work i actually went through all the websites that are nominated and MY god they suck most of them are moms and how boooring is that who gives a shit about kids, now cats are awesome kids not so much. anyway i can totally see why raymi is winiing atleast her website is entertaining and this dooce person (is it prounanced doush…lol) she is so boring dont understand why she has so many readers.
misterfurious.blogspot.com/2009/01/get-on-it.html check that baby, i have refrained from throwing stones. up til now.
raymi did you leave the anonymous comment on that dicks blog???
if so, THAT FUCKIN RULED!
no i left the one below it bahaha
oh that doesn’t make sense if you don’t see it via blogger commenting, check the profile picture.
oh and i stupidly decided to see what kind of shit he posts on flickr…
wish i hadnt. who takes fucking pics of warning signs all over the place? i mean one or two spelled in engrish or jinglish is funny as hell but these are not them…
I couldn’t tell it was a dude either, he’s very articulate.
No gay guy could have posted that video of you getting ready in the mirror – all my gay friends would have seen that and then posted their own to argue that they’re better looking/more self obsessed.
yeah i am the “worse” blog ever hahaha ugh lame sore losing chodes.
thanks to that he is getting all my commenting traffic, not his wife, backfire much?
oh what a photographer, yawn boring pretentious, cute kids, boring everything else.
she unironically blogs about oprah too.
HAHAHAHA i just posted a comment on dicks blog…
CID RULES!
That was an interesting conversation, but I agree that there’s no way Phil could be gay. Don’t take any notice of those bad comments, they’re probably just jealous.
who the FUCK blogs about oprah??? like srsly.
dear diary,
i am a worthless piece of shit and have nothing remotely interesting to say about myself or the people in my life so….
I WILL BLOG ABOUT OPRAH! because THAT will make people like me AND my blog! who cares if you know FUCK ALL about me, you cant hate oprah!
sickening man, sickening.
don’t fuck with cid
haha my comment name was gonna be cidwillscratchyourfaceoffifyoutalksmackaboutraymi but i guess it was too long BAHAHA
old people are bitter. good thing we arent! (old, that is)
hold back a bit don’t hurt my campaign
lol i promise to only leave that one comment i already posted…hehe
you better win!
No shoes allowed on the bed!
ah, I thought this weblog awards show was missing something, but those pathetic hate-comments are back, i hope you laugh at them because they are dicks who don’t “get” you because they are the opposite of you = boring.
Hi Raymi,
Being a Thursday evening, and being a poor art student who cannot afford fun of any notable sort, I found myself spending an hour reading the comment thread on the article you wrote for whatever website that was that I have never heard of.
To preface:
I’ve been reading your blog for a while like 3 years or something, I came across it by accident, something to do with Matt Good I dno it was a long time ago, but I found myself reading it every day, and still do. I like it. Sometimes I’d find little things annoying and I’d be like “oh I had red leggings like three months ago she didn’t invent that look” or something really trite like that, but generally (and obviously, since clearly I remember details about items of clothing you have bought in the past) I enjoy reading it, but I never commented or anything because god I dno, I figure what the hell do you care what I or anyone for that matter has to say? Its entertainment, you know? Its like reading a column in the paper every day or I dno listening to a podcast yeah that’s more hip and technological lets go with that.
ANYWAY, I realize this was getting to be a while ago, I must have been behind the times or something and maybe you just want to forget about it, but I honestly couldn’t believe what I was reading. Even if all those truly awful things people were saying were true, why oh why do they feel the need to parade their opinions so extremely and excessively? As someone who has been what can only really be described as an avid reader for the past however many years, I sometimes feel some sort of personal connection with you, and like anyone else you have a personal (real or imagined) connection with, you agree and disagree with various things they say or do, sometimes you feel angry at them, but I mean for gods sake do you yell at reality T.V. shows??? Are these people sending angry hate mail Flava Flav? I have the feeling that was a ridiculously dated thing to say. God I need to watch more T.V.
Look my point is mainly this: I don’t want to sound like some ass kissing loser fan, I just felt the need to (however pointlessly) assure you that your fanbase is not entirely made up of snivelling obsequious people who desperately want your praise, or raving lunatic idiots who were probably bullied half to death as kids and have some sort of lingering emotional baggage or what have you.
I’m just a normal person. I have a handful of websites I check for entertainment, and I really like yours. My boyfriend makes fun of me but I think he secretly checks it too when I’m not around.
Peace and whatnot,
Amanda
P.S. Sorry for the long windedness.
yeah right, they guy was hoping that you’re a prostitute so he can be “exploited” by you for material gain. so transparent. don’t believe for a second that he thought naked pics of you was like looking at a little sister.
good luck with the awards raymi! you win in my books.
geez it took me for ever to read all that, all i can say is Whoa thats intersting you really get to meet some really “idk” people on the net now and days. well regardles to what i wish you win WHY?one you give outsiders the previllage to read your blog and express yourself for others to known. as a pay back to known we listen we read we laught theres no harm in voting to say thanks. and hopefuly there can still be more to come. raymi for as long as i’ve been is this world wether your in high school or collage or work in an high company or what ever is it anyother indiviual works as. people will always talk about you. people say words don’t hurt they do sometimes but the way i look at it is as long as you know who you are it doesn’t matter but the funny par of all is if they use your name more them once that geez that means your worth it. you just keep being the raymi you are i “DIGG” it. OH wait and id too
hope you win raymi.
hey amanda, i absolutely despise flava flav so that was not at all a dated reference and as per that comment thread attacking me, what can i say, the hate keeps the traffic flowing and it went way too fucking far over there and i tried to play it haha half defending myself and honour w/o giving away too too much of what really went down – clearly there are some people within my own circles who enjoy anonymously torturing me, which disgusts me, as well as strangers who THINK they know me on top of those who met me barely once and those who have been following my saga all along on the web and have way too many facts backwards and limited details to an edited version of my life (this blog) – the theme on SC is to troll and attack come what may. i should have put that article up anonymously and i should not have linked to it from my blog. lesson learned.
also, as per negative attention seekers see: PSYCHOTIC LOSERS that is the only way they can stand out in the crowd, they think, like how sarcasm is the easiest & lowest form of humour, hate commenting is the simplest way to get the spotlight. pathetic.
how about making an effort and carving out your own damn niche?
ps. homee those shoes had not yet been worn out, brand new kicks.
ew i said kicks.
ah that’s just it eh, i mean in a nutshell, trying to leech some spotlight off you. anyway whatever, if it doesn’t bother you i’m glad as hell and applaude..aplaude..how the fuck do you spell applaud? right. like that. fuck you dotted red line. anyway, i’m a big fan, keep on truckin, blah blah blah. p.s. i dont wanna sound creepy but after reading your blog for so long i’ve figured out that for the longest time, and still part time, i live like a block away from you. oy that sounded weird. i’m not creepy i’m like five-two and totally helpless. swear.
thanks and if you bump into me say hi (but if you know for real where i live keep it on the d/l sil vous plait)
Raymi,
Took out the link and toned it down. Just talking some smack and motivating the troops—no offense intended, as I never imagined you’d read it. Yes, it’s true, scouting out your blog made me feel like a parent trying to decode a teen’s texting, but that’s my problem (and old-ness), not yours.
I’ve been blogging long enough to know it can be hard work and it also makes you vulnerable to strangers, so I should have thought before I made the comment.
May the Best Diarist win…good luck,
The Dick
Phil is too much of a cid lover to be loving man kind. No homo.
Hey Jessica-
Good point. Then again, maybe you’re a jealous fucking slag who couldn’t get laid if she dropped her pants and screamed “have at her boys!” between periods in the men’s restroom at a Maple Leafs’ game, ya hoser. Get your shit together before you spend the rest of your silly fucking life alone, wondering where all the “good men” are because you’re too frightened/shit-brained to see one when he’s standing right in front of your face. No really, you’re right, I’m just this sad fucking twat, living hundreds of miles from Raymi, attached and in love with a beautiful, intelligent woman whose pain is my pain, yet I’m searching about, on the intra-webs, for comedic Canadian blog-hookers, hoping to make a connection so that I can sneak off to the airport, jump on a plane and pay cold dollars in a cold city for a business-like bit of the old in-out in-out. And let’s not forget that I conduct this hooker search whilst ironically posing as a woman. It’s edifying to find someone with your searing, original insight. You know that? And what about me? There’s absolutely no chance whatsoever that I’m an intelligent, kind man with a handsome face and rockin’ bod who could get laid by simply stepping outside his house in the morning and bending over to pick up the newspaper. My retarded ugliness means that I have zero respect for anything or anyone. Nothing is sacred. There is no beauty. I piss on it all. You’re right, you fucking bitch (and I only call you this because I hate the reflection in the mirror that you hold up to my face), I’m a wretch descended from a long line of wretches. I don’t deserve “everyday joy.” I’ll leave Raymi alone now and take my search for that perfect needle in the haystack Canadian blogger/hooker elsewhere. Wish me luck. You should go read your women’s studies bible again. It’s obviously done wonders for you. Many thanks for the morning dose of blind-side hate/reality. You honorable cheap shot artist you.
Fondest Regards,
Vane$$a
woah woah vane$$ky!
mr. furious it’s ok, we is cool.
woah looks like i hit a sore spot!
never called you ugly, never said you don’t deserve joy, have never taken a women’s studies class or read such a book, and actually get laid regularly thank you very much!
just sayin’, dude emails all buddy-buddy like and gets her talking WHILE SHE THINKS YOU’RE A GIRL then suddenly you’re a dude who keeps coming back to the topic of sex. doesn’t sound too different from, um, dudes who want sex. i have no idea what you look like or where you live, so don’t know how that has anything to do with it, but sorry for offending!
just a typical internet misunderstanding is all with an extreme personality, no biggie.
Get a fucking grip, dude.
Plan the return trip back to the reservation.
Jesus.
chill man
Hilarious! I love it!
That guy really thinks Fil is hot, he mentioned it at least twice.
I have had panic attacks since I was ten and they seem to have gotten better (just like the Raynaud’s) so getting older has its upside. Or it’s because I am taking more vitamins now.
I seriously need to learn to use the phrase “no homo.” It kinda clunks up my prose though.
you look great! how much do you weigh now?
i drift between 121-124