Raymi’s mailbag of tricks
You dopes ready for this?
Welcome to my birthday party of one, starring Bum Bum Lauren and a gift from Jodie which finally got to me now. My birthday was March 31 btw. Anyway, it’s Jodie’s actual birthday today can ya frigging believe it? I don’t even know how long she has been a Little Raymi for, probably a long time. Back when I was good at blogging. If we have learned anything from David Letterman’s farewell broadcast from last night it’s to self-deprecate your skills always and forever like the champ you are (not).
This is Jodie btw everyone! She lives in Edmonton!
I remember when “unboxing” was all the rage (when I started doing it and NO ONE else was #humblebrag) it was exciting to get mail and that makes a compelling video because you capture a moment, a feeling, a real feeling of joy and the mystery of what is this?? When agencies started sending me stuff and like megaloads of it, duplicates of swag meant to tastemake and share with your cool friends it was always like, is this really happening? Unboxing is a huge trend right now fyi apparently.
I do get mailed things from time to time that I don’t blog and trust me I feel like a POS about it. Usually it’s books I don’t find the time to read and pass along I am sorry if you have sent me something and I didn’t do right by you. I encourage you to keep trying. Pester me.
Thank you Jodie. So touching and Happy Birthday to you too – may this blog post of your generosity to Planet Raymbo serve as a cheapskate birthday gift back.
Another thing about these Little Raymis people is they are selfless as shit. Okay I’ll stop being a ding dong and get on with the show!
I was going to wear that mangled ribbon in my hair for a few selfies to be funny but I forgot therefore didn’t. Damn.
Rocky was delighted you thought of him too.
Oh well now eh!
I tweeted this quote, an artsy hipster image I ripped off tumblr a week before Jodie facebooked me and showed me this t-shirt that she was buying me for my birthday. Go for it I said being all flattered and teary-eyed.
Abrasive girl bro culture shirt in full-effect I wonder how people are gonna dig me out ‘n about can’t wait haha.
Ready for the beach mon.
This one has cat hair on it. Jodie do you have a cat?
This would be a good outfit to wear to WWF no? I love Pandas. Am I driving you guys crazy yet with my stupid jokes or do you want more?
There’s my abs my flabs. My ex whom I hang with sometimes I don’t know why because we are constantly awful to each other but anyway he made a dig at me and said, “your aging body” during a whatsapp fight and I snapped, naturally. But yesterday he was like damn it must be nice to have a hot body like that. Seriously. Fuck men, while I’m at it. I’m not really dating right now I’m just hating. My tinder pile doth grow though. I tell everyone I use it for self-promotion WHICH is true AND does work BUT there is also a hopeful curiosity about the needle in a stack of needles aspect of it. I just want to be in love again that’s basically it. I am fine and happy with my social group and all of that, content, but you know there is just something about connecting with someone that makes life better, you feel less like a monastic fucking monster lunatic and then you get in crazy shape from all the wicked sex and you’re less bitchy blabbity blah etc.
Sayonara for now. I want to get another chapter of writing in. I’m writing a new book. It’s a sex book. Each chapter is a sexual encounter, all anonymous and currated from the “best of” highlights.
Unrelated, I finally saw Fifty shades of Grey yesterday. It was BORING and Christian Grey makes me want to beat the shit out of some guys IRL I/we know, dunno why…hmmm. LOL.
Thanks again Jody babe this post is for you!