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I feel like stalking to someone right meow

That’s it I’m bored out of my mind/avoiding stuff. I have done ass all since being back. I have zero interest in all: things. Anyway enough about me maybe some pictures will help inspire my blabber mouth.

You don’t know how awesome shit is until you take a step back from it you get greedy and think things will never end. You get over things quick, snarky “over” kind of over, capital whatever. That’s so wrong and it’s because of technology and the need to share every single experience live like it is our duty, the attention span wains. I heard about google glass for two weeks straight from an entirely different perspective because I saw how first hand how handy it would be to look at all of Aruba through it and stream our bullshit because in a blink of an eye you’re down another and another street and you can’t possibly process it all. I can barely get through my abundance of footage, I’m too hoardy maybe. Lazy.

Yesterday we skyped all day long. We are kind of going insane. We were inseparable for 2 weeks and weren’t thinking at the airport I could have stayed on to one of the ABC islands with him. I got wasted because I couldn’t handle it I needed to go home to ditch and switch my wardrobe up. My boots are missing too, I either hid them so good on myself I can’t find them or they were ripped off from The Sheraton’s luggage hold, which is probably what happened and I am ^^#&#^& PISSED and sad. They were a good buy from Buffalo with Lolo and whomever took ‘em knows the treasure that they are. Whatever. I’m over external needs. Being a nudist injured pool rat in the Caribbean makes you a minimalist, no, not one of those pretentious ones I still “need” all my stupid junk and shiny accoutrement and I am simply just lying to myself about the need for skanky boots that I adored and babied.

Thank you Alison love you so much hope it doesn’t get smashed en route with me maybe I’ll bring it in my carry-on.

Love this place.

Thank you for the whistle mom!

I matched it pretty well I think.

They don’t have Balashi here, the lcbo peeps pretty much laughed at me when I asked for it. Aruba? Like I asked for rubies flown in from the Middle East. They hadn’t seen me in two weeks I felt like they should have given me a hug or something lol.

Tanning has been good for my post-vacay depression. My hands are turning into little old lady leather fingers lol.

These are my wooden cotton swabs from the asian market we visited all the time and one of the sons stared at my tits all the time and I’d bust him and it made shit really awkward for me.

Unrelated here’s a couple outtakes from my Movember Calendar shoot. I believe I’m Miss June. Kevin Luc did these. I had a lot of awkward rejects I dunno why I wasn’t on my game that day.

Kind of cute in a wtf kind of way. My specialty.

My birthday dinner.

Love the tent outdoor breeze thing and the violinist serenading the diners and people watching and having to pose for pics for my mom every 4 seconds. Bro was a good sport.

While I was being sung to this guy struggled to light the candle and it ruined the moment and I tried to help him the whole time GIVE UP Bro!

My little grey NB purse strap finally bit the dust just as we walked away from bartering for this little leather gem, mom and Lois hated it, they seem to think I am the same person as them aka a priss. Purses are just robin hood type satchels to put all my shit in and that’s that. Then one day the first gay person ever was like lets make that look better then trillions of dollars later you women are all fucked with Coach purse label whoring.

I miss running. I dashed up the stairs earlier today, tried to. Bad idea. The way I fell that made my foot turn the way it did seems to have trauma memory and I can’t bend it that way sans pain anymore and it still hurts btw, I can walk and stuff but I’m hiding the pain, dealing with it fuck I hope I don’t turn in to one of those arthritis complaining of pains bitches. Laaaame.

Did I mention I have to go to the dentist tomorrow? It’s been years. There’s gonna be lectures and cavities and awards for most bonehead excuses for missing cleanings and reg. check-ups woohoo. Followed by my family doctor and the same rap. Tomorrow, this just in, SUCKS. Plus my mom thinks I am moving too fast going off to Europe like so (but really she’s just bummed and will miss me she admitted via text) but still she’s going to nag me the entire day about it. Tomorrow I am asking for the gas at the D-tist. Maybe not though cos I started having a panic attack the one time I had it and he was drilling my mouth to John Mayer and I wigged out LOL.

I love this bar. I went there often last summer too. There are salt n pepper shakers throughout, I mean every inch of space has wooden shadow boxes housing shakers. Obvi someone thiefed one of these cos there was only one.


There’s perfume in that HK head.

I lost weight while away, best.

First night out our second night there? Third? See I was fatter.

I dare you to guess who got me that scarf. Hint: famous. From their travels, work travels, famous work travels. Some Little Raymis go bizzoinkers when they can’t figure out my trail of minx crumbs for years heheh love you/sorry.

And then Lois and I were on an episode of Dancing with the stars Aruba ahaha this is the beginning of our number, we bow curtsey in unison together. One hour after this photo Lois was tanked at the Casino. It was awesome.

These chicks age well. Their hi-jinx I wasn’t present for is pretty hilar/amaze/impressive and to think last time all the trubs I got in. Mom’s a hypocrite.

This guy apparently is a minx too he claims, didn’t know the word for it though. He looks different in every pic, chameleon, is off the grid thank god. Full past experience dictates that two social mediums together do not fly.

Pool I barely got to swim in cos I didn’t stay there after my injury. Mom and Lo saw the wang of the drunk American across the way gahaha. The scene turned in to Melrose place after a time for the gals, with some nerdy bored women bee-lining them each day at the pool, splashing them (AHHA) and listening to the events of their wild party nights totally mind blown, “they let you sleep on the beach!?” So funny.

Go to this place, go to it twice, but don’t make the second time on your last night. Trust guy, meat coma.

Seriously why AHHAHAHa. Are we a train, a conga line? I love us.

Ha. rawr. table behind us: Hated us. Loved us, mostly hate love. Suck on cape bitches.

Crazy euro passion.

I did their make up for whatever they were off to this night I was like the ugly sister going Marsha Marsha Marsha. I had a great consolation prize in form of male nurse so I wasn’t that pissed.

Aw my poor swollen ankle.

Day two of injury, elevating it, mom came back and was like THAT IS SO CUTE. Inseparable he wouldn’t leave my side. He became my feet. We didn’t fight once.

Lois got me the cover-up I tried on day one of our beach crawl in search of a bathing suit for fatty (me). I didn’t get to shop cos I was injured. Even after it got better going to just Starbucks would be an ordeal you forget how to walk injured every time stepping out of a car and I’d always stumble out in a loud beach outfit, not tourist appropes and I’d get super self conscious and put more weight on it than necessary long story short I have not been kind to the healing process.

The novelty of airport smoking. I was obliterated. The looming elephant was finally upon us, D-Day airport moment. Oh it was a show, I’m sure.

People were pretty inquisitive and my ankle bandage certainly scored us more pity marks. Aw he just landed back home. On to phase two. I haven’t felt this pathetic for someone in a long time, or maybe ever, or have them intensely the same if not more. This one is going to be insane for the books. Some of my friends are like woaaaaaah but also like yeah totally something I’d (they’d) do too. Have done. My aunt was like, sames. I’d do the same.

Weight loss tip/secrets – subway salads. Try to find one that knows where their fricking lids are though. This chick HATES me even though I was super cool about all this. She just hates that I keep coming back for more and yesterday I told her I had TWO salads in one day the day before and she did not feign any interest whatsoever WTF high school girl get your goddamn customer service head on straight I know it’s your first week and all.

I’m an idiot. These tan lotions help big time and are the secret to why 20 year old chicks look like 40 year old chicks all over the place (Oakville) cos it makes your skin thick and brown evenly tone/tanned I dunno snore zzz.

After we said goodbye pre-about to hyper-ventilate burst in to tears moment. I saved it for in front of 400 waiting at the gates passengers and my mom hugged me and cried too I was like why are you crying??

So glad I dyed my hair wtf was I thinking/doing? the sun stripped my colour.

Threw our limes on to those kiosks, well chose one target and it was funny but bratty. One lime made a huge thud and the woman was going crazy trying to figure out what the sound was. Sorry!

Had dinner with the girls, hangover chinese. They slept on the beach the night before.

This is where we met, one night the girls were drinking with the son’s owner and I came back from that stupid night club confessions, I was hanging with an Indian version an ex boyfriend LOL then I nexted him at Senor Frogs then we’re all blabbing about Canada or whatever and this guy 5 hours fresh off the plane, drunk, walks through and goes woooooooh Toronto and joined us. I ignored him. It’s just funny because this almost never happened, my mom let him sit beside her and was nice to her and he minxed her all the while studying me and I wasn’t paying any attention at all. Then Lois “lost her wallet” which was actually in mom’s purse #mom&loisproblems and we were making moves to go to a casino up the street and dude was gonna tag along then I finally looked at him as a person for the first time and was like, I like you. I am hard to get actually believe it or not. ps. I do not know why he looks asian here.

Pay attention to your money exchange from american to florins you get swindled hard and math is the last thing you wanna/can do on vacay.

I love being away cos you can wear the lamest shit and still be stylin’, oh this? Yeah this is the look bro. Sports bra? Hell yeah.

And cos I was fat my mom gave me all her fat clothes she never wore, some really cute stuff I never even tried on before and all looked pretty cute once I lost a bit of weight. Score. Low maintenance wooh wooh.

Street meat. A jeweler’s shop’s alarm went off as we ate it in the car, like super loud. I never knew they had sirens on the outside, pretty smart not that it did any help as the security guard just stood there with his dick in his hands pretty much about it. It was a ghost town Sunday night. Kinda had the heebie jeebies and the sads that it would all be over soon.

Waiting. Bare ass on cement, try it. Kidding I had undies on.

The many many times I’ve gone by here I never walked in to that place, it’s got streetcar tracks behind it and stores I can’t afford anything from so fuck it.

Blurry. The chicks may look young but their eyes sure don’t!

Love that hotel. Sentimental.

My meat buffet appetizer.

When we got to Lo’s, when did we fly back Tuesday? It was cold damp wet and I wanted to die.

Resistance is futile. I tried. I tried.

Um less than 24 hours later and this happens. Covering my face cos I know she’s exploiting all of it “all of your experience” gee thanks.

Look Strombo.

Pretty gangster. That guy has a face not to mess with.

Legendary night, night one.

I am not at all happy here, at all. I was like why are these painkillers so lame? Give me something trippy for my birthday thanks. I found the nurses to be weird, pilled out maybe, I dunno. They had hyena smirks, were Dutch.

They actually loved how really sultry and slutty I did their eyes, I was happy.

Tilt your head like this so the powder doesn’t fall on your clothes or face.

That jumpsuit is the best.

After I met that guy. Here I am thinking about it. Also, thinking about how eight months earlier I had stood here before in another life kind of an A-Ha and Fuck it moment.

Pool water fall. Gangster. The guy who owns this is the one who sent me the wardrobe and red coat from Benetton. Stick with me kids I’ll show you how it’s done.

Buying wine abroad is always hard so I got us some duty free.

Back to Raymality. For now. Stay tuned. XO BRO.

12 thoughts on “I feel like stalking to someone right meow

  1. What’s your record for photos in one post? This one has to be way up there… Looks like your trip was a blast! Definitely better than how I spent the last few weeks :)

  2. I’ve done super posts with more photos than this for sure but yeah this is a lot. We did so much and this is barely all of it.

  3. Hey Raymi,
    If you want to get back to running, I strongly recommend consulting a physiotherapist. They can show you proprioceptive exercises so you can strengthen your ankle while reducing the risk of re-injury. I went through the same thing a few years back and regret not treating it properly.
    Feel better.

  4. Loving the Aruba Adventures. Your guy def. looks different in every photo! Re: the dentist, I hated gas too the one time I had it. Made me totally claustrophobic. I either take a Xanax when I go or one of the little blue “relax” pills they gave me. Good dentists, if you tell them you’re anxious they’ll give you a little something. Good luck! The first time I went to the dentist after 7 years the news was real bad.

  5. oh god. so now i can turn it into a party, maybe my dentist has e. He does wear hawaiian shirts now and mellowed out a lot over the years. im scared!!!

  6. I didn’t go to the dentist for a few years. I went last summer, I’m 33, and she looked in my mouth and said she saw 2 and a small cavity but needed to look at xrays. She comes back and says 10! I grossed myself out. I brush all the time however the fillings I had as a child had buckled. They only last like 15-20 years. So ya! good luck kiddo, hope your mouth isn’t nasty like mine was! Haha.

  7. oh im screwed. i have to days of dental ahead of me now. plus bloodwork and foot xray. joy. had a tetanuas shot today too lol.

  8. Being a nudist injured pool rat in the Caribbean makes you a minimalist, no, not one of those pretentious ones I still “need” all my stupid junk and shiny accoutrement and I am simply just lying to myself about the need for skanky boots that I adored and babied.

    For sure we get use to our phony external things, where did it all start, Hollywood? But you had the outback,bohemian,hippie version of Aruba this time.
    You can get away with that more when you are younger.

  9. Love you too, Sweetie!
    Once you get past those obstacles you’ll be fine. Holland is wonderful, have a blast!
    XX, eh.

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