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Monday right?

Here’s a picture of how medium I am. Why does that sound like SUCH a diss. Remember the mean model from ANTM Bianca told that one girl she was practically obese and the girl was actually a size 0? FwahaAhahah. Becoming heftier has opened my eyes to fat-bullying/shaming and it ain’t cool but it is awesome to be able to see my genitals again when I look down while peeing and not have to lurch over my paunch I feel like a ton of you know exactly what I’m saying ahah get it tonne of you?

I’m at that incredibly annoying life juncture when you’re about to join a gym but you feel like your life might be about to dramatically change and then you join the gym and move away? Or you might not and then you’re still here not being a member of the gym you want to join? Also I’m becoming addicted to working out now. Everyone has a gym membership story. Everyone gets charged by a gym they don’t go to anymore or when they finally un-join, get charged still anyway. We used up all the free passes now so I have to bite the bullet or do I? I mean I should right cos there’s Aruba. Soon I will be able to run again in the cold so that’s good. Oh my god that was so boring of me apologies. I will try not to talk about the gym as much or if I do it will be about how much more I’m getting noticed and I don’t feel like a fugly slug anymore yay confidence.

I’ll be going in to the city later so this little party is me-time, me Monday, I thought it was Tuesday. I’m drinking this chai tea right now it doesn’t taste very strong or maybe that’s cos I’ve lost the sense of taste. Drinking something weaker than coffee after two coffees is like is this going to get me jacked cos if it’s not why bother. I do like the taste though and cinnamon is an appetite suppressant. I lost my hunger cravings and you know what it is actually day 14 of my Ketogenic diet and not only do I not know how to count, tell time, or end sentences, I have the hunger for carbs headache again and I was wondering last night how long I will be sticking to it for and will I balloon up like Violet Beauregarde if I stop? Say I cave after two months or do I gradually have a bag of chips or fried calamari, slowly re-intergrate bread in to my diet right now bread kind of repulses me. All these questions. I’m not bloated anymore, I don’t over-eat too much, I haven’t had chips or chocolate in 14 days it blows my mind too as well it dements it fuck it’s worth it though man cos I am not wearing kaftans this summer or shoulder covering-nonsense. I hope I keep my butt though, and boobs. My arms will be the last thing to get thin and my bro said my face looks like it lost weight.

I forgot to tell you I almost chipped my front tooth on my way out the door on Friday! I did chip it but it didn’t crack but some of the enamel on the inside came off be careful about your front teeth they’re awful thin well mine are at least Christ I am SO damn lucky I didn’t break that fucker off. Can you imagine me at my audition I thipped my twoof. Ugh. Also, guess what bozo was doing at the time to cause all of this yes that’s right taking a swig of vodka from the freezer bottle for courage and train-riding amusement. I hate the Go train. I mean I’d rather be transported by egg-carrier lift something out of Munchkin Land. The only reason I hate it is the anxiety over missing the train because then you have to wait so much longer for the next one and don’t get me started on co-ordinating a ride with my mother it’s getting to the point of massive resentment and like it really pains me to bail on parties all the time but I can’t feasibly go to a party downtown come home do it again and again. I need to live downtown NOW or I need to seriously move away because this is making me cray Jamaican me cray.

So playing with my sharpened inside of tooth bit has taught me a lesson to slow down during this hysterical energy burst period that also coincides with spring. Sometimes I get hyper and act before thinking or just a beat behind taking four steps at a time you know what I mean? Being safe and not a goof is always better. You know Tory on Mythbusters? Bike fail? I feel like I’m always one hair away from being that guy. I am that guy. Watch the clip it’s hilarious.

Okay this post is really about nothing.

Michelle gets cred for mentioning Pee Wee’s bike fail too and it made me find the theme song which is DOPE incarnate and will light a fire under your ass today.

Then I went for a tan. I don’t know why I am making angry face I’m probably sucking it in as hard as I can is why.

Progress progress! So glad that skinnier girl walked in to my frame ha whatever. Kay bye.

7 thoughts on “Monday right?

  1. you can’t do tricks with a Pee-wee bike or you’ll end up like Pee-wee trying to do tricks on his bike.

  2. but look at that BUTT! I don’t know about ketogenic, but on Atkins you slowly re-introduce carbs like brown rice, etc.. Healthy stuff. I went off my diet for about 2 weeks recently when I got sick, ate ice cream and other bad shit, and BOOM! Gained 7 pounds like nothin’. Of course, my metabolism is fucked. Yours seems way better.

  3. Hey Raymi, re: ketogenic diet, if you follow fatkins like i do you’re meant to add in the carbs in 5g increments (1 cup salad, more dairy, then fruit) using a specific order starting with more veg. You do this every 2 weeks and track your progress. If your weight stalls or you gain then you go back down. I’m at the adding veg part and I can have one cheat meal and I am still losing. Putting on muscle and exercise improves your ability to eat more carbs. Some people eat up to 60-80g carbs a day and still continue to maintain/lose. I feel like bread is not in my immediate future but I don’t mine. However I had blackberries after 8 weeks of no fruit and holy shit it was orgasmic.

  4. I’m not having fruit as of yet so that’s not fatkins but I wish I thought of the nickname fatkins first. So after ketogenic diet I merge in to fatkins is what you mean Lia?

    Liz my metabolism isn’t at all good. I gained 20lbs like over a weekend I have a dormant fat gene probs.

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