Earth to Matilda

Just in case you needed ‘em, here are more examples of my stupidity. FIRST TIMER’S Lomography photography which is probably redundant because they made up the word lomography as a hybrid explanation of photography + the style of camera/film. I am so tired of typing lomography btw, that was the last time. Right there.

One hundred years ago these things happened. We ate popcorn I guess.

Hipster Hailey. She’s wearing a wooden guitar pic from The Hard Rock hotel in San Diego I bought her. This was her hippie phase.

Could these be considered legit instagrams? That’s my papa. Yes he is related to Jack Kerouac. Yes I have said that ten million times before. You have to keep repeating yourself because you never know what new important big deals may be watching you. I am very flexible too. LOLOLOLL Jokes shut up!

Holy am I drunk what the hell is going on here?? Hahaha this is how many f’s I give.

How’s about some of that too while we’re at it.

Double exposure bad ass.

That’s gotta be moms.

Kittens! These go for $900 a pop. Sha-right!

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Photoshoot fresh lookin like wealth

Hiya pals. Havin’ a gangster Thursday? Me too. That’s great.

Where is there a donation box in Libville?

I have a bag of Craymi to part with. I know there’s one by Price Chopper. I don’t feel like carrying it that far though. I have no idea why.

Date escape night is brought to you by bunny ears.

Oh herro there. Have you ever actually tucked your heel in to your underwear? Try it. It is not easy or easily sexily attainable maybe if you practiced and got good at it. Brass Vixens withdrawal think I’m going to visit tomorrow :) .

Lance Romance came out to play. That bottle was steep IMO but worth it, ahh Napa Valley such a great wine region. Good after wash in the mouth, I hate tinny reds. Go try a bottle of Irony, the name being one reason I selected it. Actually for Napa I think it was a cheap bottle. Do you think people lie about the cost of their wines ever? Inflate them a little, no? I was like this is a nineteen ninety five and that impressed Steve until I finished my sentence DOLLARS. Tasted deliciously expensive and that’s all that matters. We made Date Night indoors and half-activity. I really wanted to see Moonrise Kingdom again and he needed to see it because I knew it would be his jam. Just go see it if you haven’t already and any Wes Anderson experts I have a Q for you or two. Remind me later please.

I was going to let him nap but then I put this outfit on and he wanted to guard his prize at the supermarket and it would have been faster to just bike over with him I figured, I didn’t mind a walk but lazy is always the appealing route. We had two hours to movie time, dinner prep, eating, and travel time. We were 20 minutes late. Not my fault because I wanted to see the previews, he didn’t. People who want things move faster than people who don’t want things therefore, it was not my fault. Wouldn’t I be a good crooked politician?

I will admit that wearing this on the back of a vespa was a little unfair to passing dudes and chicks, actually if we’re being honest here, I find that it’s women who check me out most of all. I see your expert quick time glares and I have taken to “fucking with” them and throwing a smile on. I am shy so you’ll maybe appreciate how hard it is to actually do this.

We copy each other’s outfits a lot because we don’t want to be one-upped and doing SAMESIES is the only way that’s why couples dress the same. We also did it to be cute and funny. gee I wonder which hoodie we should wear tonight blahaa.

I don’t know what selfish reason my mom had in depriving me of this picture. Yeah in black and white it’s great too sure sure but come on I saw this in colour on her camera a second after this was taken and was like do not even breathe until you get me a copy of that photo. Then she sits on it for a week. Then doesn’t even give me it. How angry do I sound right now? Good. THEN she insults my bf like a bratty immature a-hole and I am sick of it. Sick of her posting on my wall when I’m out too so I am going to change it so people can’t do that anymore and you have Tracey to thank. The only way you are allowed to post on my wall is if it’s 1. my birthday 2. the thing you are posting is NOT advertising your own cause without my prior consent 3. if it’s funny and it made you think of me or pertains to me in a large capacity that I will consider to be hugely amusing and 4. of my diva Facebook friend privileges law is if the thing you posted isn’t really about me and you put it on my feed like right after I post my blog post blast THIN ICE FUCKBAG. 5. if you are one of my mother’s friends and you make a passive aggressive dig I WILL FIGHT YOU (on facebook) and you will lose. Like comments about not tanning our faces in Aruba uh thanks tips!!!! Bahahah.

Supermarket outfit. Legwarmers keep ma legs warm. Ballet flats hopefully trick people in to thinking am ballerina to justify legwarmers. My haters are my motivators. Love Tarek’s bag so much. Mom wants it. Shaaright.

We snacked for dinner it was a good call. I love low maintenance meat board plotting on the spot at the grocery store. Next time we will go to Cheese Boutique. the flatbread is everything new york style. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. the rest is prosciutto (had them to avoid and skim off the fat, less fat + less waste = more meat. Uber ripe avocado, no salt miss vickies (!!) and salami. This paired with the wine was heaven. Steve fell in love with me more phewf.

We walked home it was a nice night, right? Right. Love exermacise.

Running out of time here people.

HA.

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We’re building it up to break it back down

I haven’t done one of these total loser posting lyrics blog posts in, since, 2004. Lets go back in time shall we then. I heard this song on the radio (already nostalgic enough for you there?) on the w/e and then I did that thing with Steve’s phone where you hold it up and the iphone figures out what you’re listening to. I figs i-product people read this blog so you “get me” and so the song is by Linkin Park (puke) but I love it (yay!) and I was going to use a lyric for my blog post title but nahh, dawg, I want the whole thing. BOOM! Oh and you gotta listen to the jam along with me too. Or just go on with your life. I can lead you to water but…


The cycle repeated
As explosions broke in the sky
All that I needed
Was the one thing I couldn’t find

And you were there at the turn
Waiting to let me know

We’re building it up
To break it back down
We’re building it up
To burn it down
We can’t wait
To burn it to the ground

The colors conflicted
As the flames climbed into the clouds
I wanted to fix this
But couldn’t stop from tearing it down

And you were there at the turn
Caught in the burning glow
And I was there at the turn
Waiting to let you go

We’re building it up
To break it back down
We’re building it up
To burn it down
We can’t wait
To burn it to the ground

You told me yes
You held me high
And I believed
When you told that lie

I played solider
You played king
And struck me down
When I kissed that ring

You lost that right
To hold that crown
I built you up
But you let me down

So when you fall
I’ll take my turn
And fan the flames
As your blazes burn

And you were there at the turn
Waiting to let me know

We’re building it up
To break it back down
We’re building it up
To burn it down

We can’t wait
To burn it to the ground
So when you fall
I’ll take my turn
And fan the flames
As your blazes burn

We can’t wait
To burn it to the ground

Thank you for regressing into teenage girls on the internet along with me today.

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Don’t watch this or be influenced

Rude service here the other night. Negative occurrences reflect poorly on me so it’s not worth recounting despite Stevesy insisting I email complain follow-up with owners. We’ll see.

Then I became lips conceited. It happens.

Spy my lip piercing hole. It’s closed from the inside.

BONER ALERT.

Oh hi.

It can feel a little Gotham in here, cold, bunker, the post apocalyptic future-feel. It’s due to the modernist-exposed concrete walls. It is neat. It will be neat to experience through the passing of seasons. Oh, this is summer and it feels like a hotel. Fall will feel like.. and Christmas (swoon). I showed the girls the amazing bathtub/shower situation and they said it was was like a hotel in here. I agree. The first day we all hung out Steve kept proclaiming how he felt like it felt like Vegas based on how we were givin’er and well, I was totally wearing sparkle sequin underwear at the time from Pride, plus the guy looks like Bradley Cooper and when I think of BC I think of The Hangover: V-E-G-A-S party P0RN. Love at first sunglasses off. Ignored him all day on the float because I was all about me unbeknownst to how much he wanted me, and the chef hat plus apron he wore I was like uh, dork. Incredible the almost missed connection of that day and our pride parade walks of shame when the float ride was over, down to the YDS LCBO which was a total scene. He somehow convinced Bechs and I to have a drink at his place, he took off his dumb shades and I mine and we were blown away. I saw him fall in love with me. That never happens never ever ever ever happens in a billion years and only in movies at that. Plus my face was covered in parade sweat and mascara everywhere I was worse than a hot mess…

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It’s not me it’s you

Muh-om! I like this better in colour why do you have to go all Tracey pizazzle on it for? Email me the orig please raymitheminxATgmail.com thanks.

Beautiful night much. Two moons in one night. Baha couldn’t resist.

Do you think I am going to pull a Susan Sarandon and not pose with these mini babes? Do I look like I am crying inside AHAHA. Whatever, the more famous you become the less your age matters because notoriety provides relief as long as I don’t turn in to a potato just yet. I will admit I look tireder than normal here, it happens.

Or I can just jump in between these two. Likewise, take a page from the Tracey Chronicles and limelight it to middle age myself. It’s not Pride and Prej. times anymo folks. Anyone who even deigns to make age wisecracks is stupes anyway, plus jealous. I have spent 12 years amassing my seniority you don’t just start a tumblr and become a scene-ior. Ha I am going to tweet that. And while I do notice the younger ones who jock me, I ain’ts stupid. You know that I know what’s up. Read the three letter word url you are parked on right now, that is who I am after all.

Lois was bigging me up to this lady from the Netherlands or something, I love when Lois warms up my audience then I take a big Lebowski swig of my drank and step in for the grand finale. She was talking about the Toronto shooting I think or some other lady who looked like her was and I was like no thanks. You don’t exactly set out to tell your life story to strangers all the time but after they watch us mess around and catch each other up on our lives and take photos, drown one another, their curiosity just can’t handle it any longer and they have to ask you what the f-k is going on.

Exactly lol.

Talking is just as distracting as changing the radio station while driving, the drama steers the car’s wheel with those two. I said to Steve yesterday that I bet when compact disc players were the thing there were totally Dateline NBC and 20/20 scare-terror for ratings reports on music causing collisions and such. Basically just be afraid of everything, make everything illegal and call it a day. Anyway, Lois and Tracey are just too unreal when they drive to and fro TDot. I say no more, otherwise ah lose ma f-ing mind about it!!!

I dare you to drown on my watch. You’d do it too just to get mouth-to-mouth with me I bet. I do possess lifeguard saving CPR skills and all that jazz. Maybes a little rusty though, okay I poke you where? *slams on your chest* bahha.

I wonder when Tray will load up youtube with her vids. She is in to that as well. Incriminating material or not, she is in to it. Always watch everything you do or say around her, she is worse than I am.

This picture would rule if it wasn’t so distorted from FB muth-er.

Lois told me to F the B here cos of the Aruba one. I love how Lois gets out all her little demons passive aggressively like that it’s so cute and I don’t mind at all being the conduit either. Love my LoLo. I like pissing off my mom too and she likes it, it’s disturbing! Lol.

I love this shot mom. Hailey and her buddy spent the week together doing all kinds of things I think that’s great! They go to different schools and are both going in to high school this year. Rocky seen here, kept it real.

I really liked Hailey’s friend’s hair. I have never had wildly dyed hair now that I think of it. I “missed out” oh well. I think I am wild enough though and I’d feel too crazy with kool-aid hair.

Steve’s new murse is the best he loves it so much I am so happy for him and you know what, black was the best colour after all. Tarek is a wizard. Steve is a wizard. They are both wizards. It’s good to keep ties with wizards. If you dudes want to flex your metro-sexuality a little bit too please peruse the NB Man section of Nella Bella I can’t believe I am dating a stylish modelesque dude come to life, I took some photos of him in the parking garage yesterday carrying it and was like wow, simply, wow. The way he held the bag like it wasn’t at all non-masculine. He even carried the blue/green Riviera clutch yesterday for me on our lover’s walk. Aw. I was like stop people are staring, he rocked it even harder. He had a RUN DMC kinda vibe going down so it worked.

I think Hailey is more graceful than I am, mom says she is very ladylike and fem, plus took ballet.

I’ve seen one of her performances before I was impressed and she was so young.

Thanks for the bathing suit Paddy! Everybody loves it. Even Pauly Shore!

LOL. More of that post here.

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