As you can see this is how it all began. I was late. Always late. The mental preparation required to adequately wig out and crack under the pressure on top of applying make up just so usually makes one diva at least twenty minutes late. There’s a scene in the Marilyn flick (I’ve watched twice) when Dame Sybil Thorndike (Judi Dench) tells off Sir Laurence Olivier for rattling this poor vulnerable already rattled girl’s nerves over being late to set (granted the more famous you become the more late you can be and she was about 2 hours late and I would never do that) something like there’s more things an actress has to worry about than being on time. That goes through my head when I am layering on my war paint for camera because in my head at the time I am thinking about them all hating on me. I hate being late, it’s a trait of course but, one day when it matters most I will be on time.

They didn’t care though or mind plus we finished up ahead of schedule anyway, I motor-mouthed through the questions and finished before the girls showed up. Show at 5:30 and make me look cool. None of those things happened. Just kidding I always look cool. Which is a topic I waxed poetic on for a tad.

Surane said he studied body language and that interviews taken place across the table from the interview subject and interviewee make things more formal and awkward. The chair to chair thing is disarming and better for secret extraction.

So nice knowing ya Toronto I am moving. Haha.

I love it. So Anchorman. Look what you girls missed. Dumb dumbs.

After my brazillionaire which I had during the talk (I like to keep it Johnny Carson) I had this martini, Apple sidecar? I mix them up. I was a good girl on Saturday. I kind of drink only every other day, diet secret.

Their loud boisterous entrance was funnily timed, like oh look it’s my stupid friends now (whom I adore obvs) and Sundays at Mildred’s Temple between brunch and dinner service are often quiet. “I know things” aka EVERYTHING.

Rebeccablah said she needs this for her place. Yes.

Blink count Jules.

Immaturity forever. I was celelibations central. no just two. I was happy and relieved it was over.

Kay now peep all of rebecca’s different looks.


Oh. I see.

Thank you very much Mildred’s for saving me from cleaning the entire house.

You must be in a hipster band to work at Mildred’s, One guy is in the Russian Futurists seen here. We commiserated over being interview nervous. Another guy is in the Manvils.

We had the charcuterie. Yum.

The girls loved Mildred’s. It is me and teacher’s special place.

Okay cool thanks hi.

I was going to go to Holt yesterday but sat on my ass instead. There is always something in the tickle trunk to put together. I almost sold this dress once.

Such a sense of humour. I love it.

Could have eaten that all over again. The caesar is nice and creamy garlic yum yum delicious. This is not a foodvertorial. Okay I guess it is but it wasn’t meant to be. This is how I’ve always done it. Comb an entire haunt inside and out that I love. Insert it into my story.

Ride me!

Rebecca said this was me. Thank you.

Hiya. How’s it going.

The unisex bathrooms are fun! Especially when a posh elder gent comes in and you’re all cackling away shyly.

No old men were harmed. No they didn’t see this either. It’s only between me, you, and the entire internet plus possibly television too.

Then I went to an 8 year old’s birthday party. Just kidding that’s not me. The dorks took a bunch of pictures of them for what other reason than to just make fun of me again. mmm attention! Lol.

Walk softly. Carry a big stick. Wear your casual shoes and you will be less spastic. Or you can climb a tree if you need to.


French Fires album cover. Yes we are a band. No we do not play.

Hi excuse me I need to fax you a question do you have a minute?

She’s at that hotwkard teenage stage. They grow up so fast.

I am digging my natural frenchie eyebrows. I am excited to be a bit darker, well, longer most of all. Rome was not built in a day.

Kind of cross eyed here.

I want to be in a music video cast as the cougar teacher something. Bucket list.

Rebecca left her jacket in NYC. Are the Yay Cray kids cursed? Jules lost her leather jacket to Salvador Darling. I did too but got it back. Okay back to “other things” of secret natures.

Polka dot dorks

I have something stupid to share with you. Nice camera skills.

I am rooting for you roots!

They made fun of my cougar dress. Well not really made fun just, how many cougars died for that dress. Haw ha. I think that’s called flirting. I was like hey man, it’s my time!

Shut up just go with it.

Yeah I dunno. This was not the Sunday I was expecting. It was superbo fantastico Funday!

I think I was totally fucking insane on Camera hurray can’t wait not to see it. I think it will be out after MTV creeps so I don’t think it will matter speaking of I have to book a standup gig this week. GREAT. Just kidding I’ll tell you more about the interview and how fun it was later “I got shit to do”.

Elfin Raymi. Raymelf. One of my action figures in the making.

I wonder if teacher will start getting a period from all the craystrogen up in his grill at all times. My design guys have no idea what language I am speaking in on this thing. Ha ha. I can only imagine the behind the scenes conversations. They said my lil Raymi widget counter is right though. I thank Germany. Seriously, it cranked up when the impersonating me scandal broke and now I’m a regular fixture there. Maybe I should go to a death metal show. One death metal show a decade. Rule to be made in to law. Like this one I sometimes break:

This is cute too. Jules you seriously don’t want this dress? Okay have a nice lunch.

A rayme in the life

Hi there welcome to two’s company.

That’s a chopstick don’t worry I figured it out.

There’s two of them. Okay once you are done looking over there look at me, take a load off.

Hey duuuuuuudes far out man, yeah maaa-an.

So-rry “my so called life.” I never watched that show but it is referenced to death. I don’t like depressing things because it’s not escapism to me. If people want to romanticize how shitty teenage life is GO FOR IT.

Lickity lick lick.

Oh, that’s why. Hi I am four is this where the dress-up tea party is?

I think there was a longest toe competition going on at one point too? You can see Bech’s garbage truck leg scar. She is not over that shit bro.

Bech removed her hair from out of her “bun nut” no wait, just NUT and made a big deal about it I was like yeah yeah yeah yeah. pew pew pewp pewpepewppew that’s what the girls do, it is one of their “bonding things” we have an entire catalogue of stupid vocabulary that is both mockable and adorablah. Only envious people mock. I asked teacher if people were going to make fun of us when I showed him this. Don’t answer that it’s a trap!

Cool pit sweats bro.

That’s Damien’s grandpa. Balling. I want a photograph tat too. Get it? Yes, you’re so smart.

Bleep bloop.

PeeWee Herman has always been my idol, since kindergarden, I just got uber wrapped with being super fucking cool there for a little bit. It’s good to be home. I am practicing my interview responses.

Shawing! Party on Wayne.

Whoops blurry the others ones are for private eyes only jajaja.

It’s 3:25 do you know where the party is? Actually time to go bro.

I just gotta finish this one up.


This is my Robin Hood pose, right? I am always right. Go look at puss n boots even it’s the classic hero of the people pose. Steal it if you dare.

Longest toe!

Time of your life party girl pose!

I’ll make this one teenier to lessen the effect. Our socks are matching, yep, shorts to shirt, good contrast girl bro.

Best friend of the universe face: That is a shitty idea.

Um kay.

You need to start watching ANTM Rebecca. This one is amazing but I’d like to see some broken doll out of you.

My camera skills are pretty bad too, two wrongs make a right I guess.

That’s my move bro. They mock this one aka LOVE IT. When I start pulling that one out it means party pants is ready to dance. This jam is now in sesh!

Of the ten songs we play over and over again which one is this you think? I have no idea.

There’s my bubble blobber butt! Them pink pants def bring it out even when blurry. Hey I’m a sasquatch, all those pics are always blurry yeah right guys totally you saw big foot. RIGHT. She was wearing pink pants!

How was I supposed to know there would be water in that paint jar? It’s like a museum there that never changes, anyway it didn’t do any damage and your painting just became more valuable if anything you should be thanking me for this.

Okay if I am headbanging then we are listening to…???

Deet deet deet deet deet DEET DEET DEET DEET DEET DEET! deet dee deet deet deet DEET DEET DEET DEET! I don’t even know what fucking song I am singing right now anyway I am off on something else altogether nevermind!

This will go into my EVERYTHING HERE RULES section of the #secretproject for sure. night night Leila. Did you know that this girl and I met when I was 19 on a lezbo date at the reverb (I was on one with another older chick #player #stud that’s tight brah) for a corpus show and I was also dating the spaniard. Corpus smashed a fluorescent light tube on his head during his show it was the most insane thing that I have ever been a part of and then this leila girl with a weird accenty voice comes out of the crowd and we hung out it was neat and now ten years later we are friends again. But through bech, who coincidentally has banged or dated or knows lots of people I know/used to know. Toronto is a small town. Shit like facebook ruins everything though, you can add a person and then see everyone you have in common and then if it’s a bizarre obscure person no one else has connected to them THEN you know so much more about that person you just friended, can kill or cure things right. Also bonus points in this photo go to chi chi no no.

Time to shower bro FTS!

good idea jeans

Tomorrow I’m filming with a show called Turn on Toronto. It’s a web series starring all kinds of people who I guess essentially turn on Toronto. I better practice my zippy comebacks. Or study Gaga’s interview style haha right isn’t she all bananas? Throw a bit-a Courtney Love on it to boot. Show them my nickel collection? Amazing shit! Can’t wait to blow it. j/k.

If we’re going to be laying around I may as well do push ups I mean, I just may. I have to be in turbo babe shape by second week of May. They (MTV) were like be sure to keep tweeting so if I act extra retarded now you know why. This is good timing for my new don’t give a care outlook on things.

Bringing our old rug over stat. The floor is pretty clean though.

This was one of my signature webcam model poses. Works see.

I don’t remember this. Well I do but I don’t remember how it started happening or who’s brainiac idea it was.

But I enjoy everything that is going on here.

Countdown to threesome!

Oh hi guys what’s going on.

I can’t wait til I am tanned. Though the pale is matching my pastel pants tone. I said I was wearing baby colours before I headed over and that I represented boy and girl.

This reminds me of Annie. When girls don’t get adopted!

Rebecca seen here is modelling a shirt by 3F Fashions jajaja. I mean, she brought me a rock back from New York City I had to reciprocate. Are you going to make Sergio a salad with those tomatoes I hope ew hahaha.

Another minx bites the dust. How was work today Rebeccablah? Wah woh. More parties tonight but I don’t want to look like this O_O tomorrow so I will gradually turn in to a cushion on le couch and continue watching lost and eating my chicken shawarma like a good girl.

Miss you like a hole in the head! Take care now, bye bye then.

ps. you can still leave comments you just have to click the post title to open the comment box. There eventually will be a vomments button below each post for the stupid people. Kay bye Caturday Saturday.

Every girl has their own manbase.

Ready set go bro!

It’s Raymbotainment time. Happy 4/20 wieners. Have a very productive day today okay.

Hai. Here is our friend James Franco as a cat. He sent me that picture from Hong Kong.

I dressed like a french mime yesterday.

I have big lips. So does Courtney Love. She has huge features all around my mom said a billion years ago during the Nirvana craze, which also rocked our household.

We accidentally matched one another yesterday when I put this on, he was already wearing his but I didn’t notice. Then my hat put it all over the edge.

Oh whatever we can be one of those copying couples sometimes. It’s cute. I’m a nihilist remember.

I really really need a tan though to revive my skin.

In my head I am already living on that cray farm. Remote. Beautifully given up on what other people care, sitting in the sun writing haikus.

I’m being trolled again. The envious come out when shit is or isn’t happening.

It also feels freeing and isolating not knowing my blog traffic for a few days. It feels like going back in time and it has humbled me in such a way that it brings to mind what my goals were in the beginning of all this, being that finding Forrester guy in the window of a house slamming on a keyboard all these crazy thoughts that people would eat up and I would do that until I die. Along the way I might form a cult of people being in to what I am laying down and then the more progressive ones in the fold would come forward and closerly inspect me, document me by other means and then we go from there.

It sounds crazy but it became true. Have I plateau’d? I might have. I might have hit the pause button I might not have. I think times for being thoughtful and reflective are great because they ground you and you might not know it at the time, it might be hell and bleak but when you rise out of it, you learned.

If everyone (or most) claim to hate me and don’t provide reasons for it, ones that count anyway, and they obsessively hate me for long periods of time and daily come to my blog “hating me” it isn’t me who they are hating it is themselves they hate, hating me for what I am or do or how I act and what I say is merely a reflection of your own shit. You can make all the excuses you want but you’re just threatened. Make fun of my age and my face, but it is irrelevant. If my appeal is looks-based and now that chapter has to close because these women think chapters close when they reach a certain age, (how many older than me broads are ruling social media right now? Why am I the ONLY ONE who receives attacks then?) you say there are so many younger women with more to offer doing things right now more attractive than me, well good for them show me where the line for caring is and I will be sure to avoid it.

Do you wish you could see the world through instragram coloured glasses?

We had a great time at dinner yesterday, Watusi is still one of my fav haunts. The Watusi is a dance. I have never googled to see what it actually looks like.

I am noticing that I get checked out way more now, by older men especially. I am not going to lie, I have always been checked out but to speak of it is considered bragging and this is when the claws come out this is shit mean girl shit is made of but as someone who has had periods in their life of feeling ignored, over-looked, not pretty, or looked at, it feels good to get that thumbs-up stare or double take over and over and over again on a walk. I might notice it more because I am a recluse and seldom go out so it’s all action jackson when I hit the streets, too alert and hyper-aware so I remember that when I am getting shit on by trolls who throw abuse rocks at me on my looks cos YOU WRONG BRO. I think it’s better to have your face to the sky anyway than to the smartphone like the internet dependent generation aka pussies.

The thing is I don’t care if you hate me anymore or make fun of me, I am a critic, I have strong bold opinions and I say them and I am relatively attractive and the only goal in life for the internet now-adays it seems is to BE a hater so I may as well embrace it. I may poke fun at our society and culture but I know too that I am a part of it, but I ain’t no follower. It takes balls to say things I do and I do get shit rained back down on me, I at least am more honest about things, about my wants (no needs) for fame because that is all this has ever been about and writing was the way I got to it, living as a piece of art, making life art. Pretty simple.

Thank you for coming along for the ride. In November it will be 12 years. Am I satisfied with my work. Yes I am. Do I pat myself on the back? Not nearly enough. Am I ashamed of anything? No I am not. I am a good person and I am good to people and that is good enough for me.

We got good and drunk. Well I did. One reason why Watusi is my fav spot is the drink menu. My favourite drink is Anita’s attitude adjuster. It works.

You know who else was a great drunk. Jack Kerouac. Don’t talk to me about other bloggers and deals and sponsorships because we are all doing the same racket and some have different needs and desires than others and we are all snowflakes kay bro? Don’t project your jealousy of them on to me.

I will eat my way to the top. Or I will eat myself to death haha.

Good chick pea batch bro.

Flank steak, pomme frites, spinach mmm.

With parm and au jus gravy to die for.

I am so going for a run today. Now. NOW.


Well didja?

Back by request. These stupid pictures.

Just a couple cos we “get it”.

Miss my teeth? Miss my wonky eye like the guy from the goonies?

Well I bet you did.

Ok NOW I get it.

Pee pee peace.

I just know blogs and the unnecessary evil they can befall one and all.

This chick was reading teen vogue out here and NOT a teen! She was old. Sometimes we have to go back to the beginning again so that we can better know our present. I’m sure that was in a movie once. With a unicorn in it. No doubt son!

That’s the chick from Much Music. Or something. I only watch a certain amount of specific television.

Cool walk bro.

Actually I like the top pics with the flower border overlapping because they’re not exactly being cut off or out. Yeah that’s so pinteresting.

Waitin’ for the girls.

All that swag thanks so much 3F Fashions. I am going to fill up bags of clothes and get rid of them head’s up to interested parties. Spring cleaning old stuff I mean. I was submitted for a reality wardrobe show that would so take me if they saw a photo of my wardrobe like how it lives in a pile on the floor in my tickle trunk I have two dressers, a closet and another wardrobe what are those things called? A closet you buy when your apartment bedroom doesn’t have a closet. One of those.

I’ve since trimmed all the snaggly hairs off Okay O-lay!

Ladies I have pix of all you’s too I didn’t upload them this last round I don’t know why I feel obliged to even mention, I don’t like the possibility of someone feeling left out. I am considerate. I just know blogs and the unnecessary evil they can befall one and all. Hey I’m impressively rhymey today. “Funny can’t buy you happiness.” was going to be the title, wah woh.

An awesome indian restaurant was here it was a good hang I bet the cabbies are bummed, I’d be. This is Stupid waiting for me to show up for tacos. Keep it simple guys.

Nice bullet buds.

There’s my stomach.

Oh hey there.

In today’s street style Raymi is modeling her elementary school’s colours navy and baby. Don’t make me say that’s a great band name because it is.

I can just see it now.

As always, we go here to wait for our table. I say The Rhino next time for a change. I have my reasons.

Glad I gave you one, mine broke last night.

Making fun of my stomach regions before I even eat anything is a dick move, now watch it grow.

It doesn’t matter anymore because I am a nihilist now. Like I care.

Blue and blond go together swimmingly. One of my trade secrets. Now you know bro.

Too bad about losing those posts, a good flame war was a brewing. Nice to see that all the fucking losers who are still hell bent on their Raymi obsessions are still at it and up to speed. You mad bro? Why do I threaten you so much? If I suck so much why you here basking in the suck?

I smashed my penny packer glass by mistake, I said to your health and clunk it too comically hard which was embarrassing enough and then it shattered. Also they know this is our drink and it does bring out some cray I think. Brown liquor or red wine if you want to go out of your mind. I should just go ahead and write a rap or a jingle I am wasting my talents on the circle of jerks here. Also on the circle jerk. Nah nah I actually consider everything I do to be productive in the steps toward my life goal fruition.

I was hella embarrassed. They got me another.

This is how you hide your face when you are embarrassed. It semi-works.

Embarrassment over, time to put a new outfit on this was the longest taco date post coverage ever.

Not entirely my fault.

Oops. It was wrapped around one of my giant teeth.

Hard to tell in this lighting but that red hot sauce was pretty full when we got there and we drained it to within an inch of its life.

I asked a bro if there really was a guard cat in this building and he’s like yeah but they’re really nice haha then we took a bunch of pics and I said my ok bye which is our I am fucking leaving now without you warning call but it was meant for rebecca and he goes Bye. Aw you got clothes-lined by the stupids.

Then I had to buy woman stuff and soda water. Sounds like a party. A vodka scrabble party. Chill out it was a Monday and we’re old chicks. The store clerk dug this moment in time of course. No really he loved it.

A troll said I don’t have friends because friends don’t let you dress like how I am dressed if you don’t have a torso but the most hilarious thing about that is this is exactly how rebecca dresses, she wears a white t-shirt and leggings as a uniform so sorry kid go sneer at other people’s lives on facebook who also don’t give a shit about you.

I did not play the R-word believe it or not.

That zit bro on my face is now gone I think I’ll give you a status update when I next get up off my arse. Raymi Lauren White’s ZIT: It’s complicated.

Brand new Tommy Bag and the straps break. That’s life for ya, sometimes you break the bag straps or the straps break you. I need more coffee this is getting retarded. Seven points on a double word score. I also have to do some blog archive stuff investigations.

Don’t do anything while I’m gone ‘cept enjoy yourselves!

The cat just barfed everywhere. Here comes the dog.

Meow meow hop hop.


Wah I lost that other post but who cares now bro? Lol. I’ll have to start making my photos smaller so they don’t get cut off by the beautiful whimsical flower border. That Tyler drew from scratch! He is not girly at all and when I presented them with my blog vision, Bry was like hah this is going to be hilarious for Tyler to do. Also, when doing testing it they’d use posts with tits of course for fun haha. Boys. Who are men. Who are boys. Like how I like ‘em!

I was in the middle of blasting a piece of trash in the comments and then they all disappeared because anything I started publishing once they started the blog swap would not make the change-cut. Makes sense. I have the photos still. I didn’t back up the posts though, wah woh.

Anyway I am not going to let it carry out any longer on my new special platform of tacos and just living my life, I am sorry you don’t simplify your own life and make it consist of just a few things a week when you can and it seems soooo hilarious that I am going to go shopping and then eat at a restaurant, you’re so sad to get mad about everything I do. Oprah says that holding on to resentment is like holding your breath for many years and it’s true.

You honestly need to fuck off. Is what you honestly need to do.

Maybe I will become a better blogger now that I have a better blog. Or maybe I can become worse and no one will notice. I’ll be right back after I tell everyone on facebook that this blog is ready for them to swoon over too. Please be patient while all the kinks are ironed out and please like my facebook raymitheminx.com that hasn’t been updated since infinity years ago. ps. leave a comment if you can see this because colleague is telling me a bunch of garbage. During this migration process there will be some hiccups, some might see the ghost posts from my old blog lay out, I go to approve then it all vanishes so while the server is playing patty cake with my blog just be cool everything will work out. Fine.