Urge Underkill

Super post excellent! Ready set go!

These were so pretty. The cats had fun times barfing up some leaves, we all enjoyed that, then putting them on the fridge while we were visiting my dad and then to the garbage with them upon our return. This is why you must get a girl a gift for v day too, flowers die.

I get to be blond everyday so I am going with a pink haired Junko Mizuno to portray in burlesque MARCH 16 at The Bovine. Also it means I can buy a pink wig. There’s one I’ve seen that’s Sailor Moon in length. But my girl has a huge amy winehouse hairstyle so I might have to buy a more expensive one.

My new Dog the Bounty Hunter hair accoutrement.

It’s a Leap Year today. Now that I am old and dumb I don’t remember why they can’t just make it a permanent day, kind of bizarre really but anyway someone told me that in Medieval England it was the one day a woman could ask a man to marry and oh the infinite burns one can make from that. Girl waits four years, asks a bloke, he says no. Girl kills herself. Fun times! Or thanks calendar for this super special day to eternally humiliate myself by. Not to be old fashioned (totally to be) or anything but I like it when the guy asks, I have friends where the girl has proposed and inside my head I am going “it’s not the real thing!” or it feels kind of forcey? Yeah it’s the year 2012 now and shit is way more progressive (and gays get out of this one for sure) but still, as a hetero (who likes titties too A LOT)(motorboat club anyone?) I like my marriage proposals from the man. The end. You just won’t find me proposin’ and shit is all, also, my dowry would only be a blog that everyone will forever make fun of us on and the ability to make cats my friends so I need to up my game a billion per cent before I can even consider being a viable wife. Beat you to it assholes!

The day the po po came mom said to dress pretty so that they take me seriously. This was the best I could do whilst speed race cleaning the place.

And then some other day. Stella gets walked in all kinds of slob chic fashions doesn’t she.

Did I blog this? I can’t remember shit anymore. Who cares it’s a Feb wrap-up. Tomorrow is day one of my birthday month and my birthday is all the way at the end so every day this month I get to have one of the following: identity crisis, my life is over crisis, I am all washed up crisis, drink a LOT, get a couple spray tans (double dips my favourite) and regress into a 20 year old. Pretty much “just anotha day”.

V Day themed nails, did they last to V day? I think so.

When can we see the mildred’s hbo movie/series? Must use this before March is up.

This soggy gingerale package warmed my heart. I have the neatest Little Raymis, so generous and care packagey, great listeners too. I say I like gingerale loud and clear and they hear it. Henceforth gingerale mail.

Kylie is my little protege out west somewhere, not as far as Vancouver west but one of those middle provinces I long forgot about. When I do my Raymipalooza cross Canada tour the first episode will feature me retaking a citizenship test to relearn Geography and Canadian history booring. The answers are in the back anyway so, suck on that.

While waiting for our taco table at the caddy we noticed all these people who totally look like they watch the simpsons (analyze at will) and realized oh yeah, simpsons trivia night and a majorly limited menu that we ordered off of despite waiting to eat next door. Starving cannot be resisted when confronted by poutine.

Red Ridinghood goes to brunch and no wolves are harmed.

Time for brunch. Man I’d like ta get me some of that right now. Major appetite (for destruction) for sheez. I am having hollandaise sauce avalanche fantasies.

There is still time to get me the pink or the black. Play it safe and get both so I can use one for the day and black for events.

What do these look like to you? My dad copies me and gets poached eggs now (healthiest) because they come in a special little bowl. I like that the salad bar is permanently decorated for fall with fake leaves on it. Dad just told me he got a burger and fries to go last week WHAT so jealous.

That’s my grandma and my dad speaking of. Oh and he has unfortunate news about the Queen too.

I like your hat.

I want to do my nails again like this. Sparkly my little pony nails.

I make life easier now for dad and go with Timmy’s (vom word) while there.

Snorgle time. Kick me in the lips with your sharp nails all you want it won’t stop the snorgle rain.

Okay yes it will, my face is too precious for Edward Scissorhands face scratches.

This wine is bomb but red wine makes me fat so it’s on the no no list until I am back in underweight lithe looking territory. Which is today I guess but I am so going to pig out tonight I know it.

Countdown to vodka sponsorship please oh please oh please. That or gingerale take your pick, coffee too.

Inside of this place is where we played DBall. Where we WON. Def a Lord in a past life your hero was. Defskies.

Hello old friend. The Bedford is gorgeous. At Christmas it is a dream, garland and lights everywhere reflecting the tin rooves. Oh hell yeah I can write decorating porn.

Just think, about a third of these people got a ball thrown at them by me lol. SEE YOU NEXT YEAR. Actually I’ll admit that I am kind of a shitty player (kind of a shitty everything) but what I lack in throwing I make up for in dodging and lasting (uh some of the time, I was all over the board really) and enthusiasm of course, I am a loudmouth. Yeah I can throw for sure but those sponge balls get the better of me. I am a perfectionist in the head so I have to go over every fucking thing I ever do in life it is exhausting.

I don’t know who won for best girl and guy or team outfits. I read the dude’s name but who knows people’s names these days? Not I sir! But I super want that barbie like a mawfucka.

My button says playboy. Ironic buttons so funny (so not funny) but flare is flare.

Teacher admitted the animals like me more last night. I have a new thing to add to my fake pretend resume now beside First place Dodgeball tournament champion in Skills: The dog likes me more than you. That is just a rough estimate of how it will be worded but the gist of it is there. I just played with Stella for three seconds and she passed out from bliss so there you go. Dog whisperer. You should see us in Bellwoods I have to outrun all these beagles and terriers and other retarded slobbering dogs in love with me.

I like the water tower it reminds me of a Steven King book, end times, desolate small town and summer, most importantly of all.

I am NOT a morning person, Saturday morning least of all (we were good the night before anyway) I can do mornings as long as there is no speaking. So we were a bit crabby trying to race out of the house in time and get our flasks filled lol. Saw one of our opponents as we were cutting across the lawn of the building with a bag of tall boys then forgot about him til later and asked Teacher where that couple went, since donning stupid hilarious outfits, I think she was in a hawaiian shirt and a mullet wig. He might have been pencil skirt guy. Our team laughed at all our nicknames for people, pencil skirt being one of them so it was funny to learn at the end that pencil skirt was that guy and he might have been drunk. Hilarious squared. Though the face doesn’t add up to the one I saw on the lawn so forever a mystery it shall be. Just the way I like it.

Interesting week, interesting life. Also how I like it.

By Friday I heard the video will be complete. Exciting. Excited.

Hope I look hot.

Lots of mail this month. And something from MTV too ;) .

My hair is awesome today and every morning since sleeping on these. Brennen was right, he told me I need silk pillowcases for my delicate hair. A promo was being run a few weeks ago and voila, sensual high-end beddings for your blogging royal highness. Thank you Cilque I’ll be sure to photograph my alleged wicked hair day once I hit publish on this superpost.

I asked if I could post certain pics I had on my phone (no spoilers) and colleague reminded me of all the pictures he took of Toronto Batman and I which I can blast up tomorrow. Yayness.

My hair, speaking of, has been feeling longer lately. Very important thing yes.

It’s been too wet to wear these lately but don’t worry I will be pulling a Burt Reynolds in daisy dukes plus boots tres soon. ps. you can show off your gams for forever, like Tina Turner. Only jealous girls say cray stupid shit like that, or like jealous bitches of my mom. Flaunt ‘em if you got em.

RIP Davy Jones.

The Six O’clock Noose

This may be my song for Junko Mizuno. Maybe not. Or one by The Troggs. Danced for hours last night, my arms are getting toned, those wings are a work out. My stomach is a mess TBH though (I have abs and stuff but they’re covered in flab so I am desperately trying to avoid drinking and fooding too much this week) so more sit-ups galore are in store. They’re so boring though. And I am getting a tan don’t forget. Also on TO DO list. Dental floss. Lol. A million other things too gaaaaad it never ends. Oh and fyi I was experimenting with booty shaking last night so not all of it is in sync with the song (when is it ever?) Thanks PEACE!

I am so dense it didn’t even occur to me this photo of boots plus the song go together. Starvation headache is shrinking my brain.

“The dog is looking at me/Everything’s a party.” Our new Kraftwerk band lyrics. Disco party SUPERMARKET! Jokes.

Big tits or quit.

I want to cut this in to a circle and spin it around as an animated gif to house music.

Just can’t keep my eyes open.

Muchos praise for the jaja

Oh brother.

And now I am going to try to continue blobbing this smattering of pics from the rest of last week/month. Oy. Ok lets get this fucking over with!

Lets shake on it.

My hair was a mess it was Mughnday I believe, two Mughndays ago post Burlesqender weekend, so that’s my hair for ya.

Fake BJ!

Bech had one of those egg frothy drinks, delicious but gets in the way of all the tacos I plan to eat so I let her have her weird sour egg peppered drink (right? wtf lol).

Seriously I don’t know why I even pretend like I am going to share beef cheek tacos with you, I need at the very least THREE. Chicken is my second fav but I cap it off at 3 tacos so I only eat a few pieces of fallen off taco chicken.

The spicy queso ones are meh, I can make that at home, just keep frying onions and peppers forever and eventually will add every single scotch bonnet hot sauce from the fridge so I’ll stick to the beef cheek.

A WEEK LATER IT WAS TIME FOR TACOS AGAIN.

I was like no stupid let me take one I can do it better with no flash.

See? And as the spanish would say “Jajajajajajjaja” that’s how they laugh on the internet in youtube vortex world. It makes me “haha” to go “jaja” in my mouth (in my head) thank you for understanding.

It looked a lot brighter on the display before I hit click. Can you guys get more lights in your restaurant just a few.

My narcissism is infecting Bechnique. GOOD. Was that a hot taco my dear?

This is killing me. I am trying to eat better and GE is closed Tuesdays why god WHYYYYY does everything always have to happen to meeeee?

Go for it dude.

Hi.

Big ups to the horse guy over there too.

No tacos left behind or guys hun-gray for some.

And now obviously I want nachos.

I collect my cheque cards, mostly I’ve gotten the scorpion (what are you trying to tell me?) but now I have a mermaid too. Maybe I can cash them in for a taco when I produce a stack of ten?

Then we dropped in at casa del funny farm for a costume change before going to the drake to meet the social media game players club for Nus’ going away thing thang.

Ta da. I have since done laundry and attempted shrinking my pants back in to shape/fitting my body.

We had a fun time. A girl who recognized me from Creeps watched us well, namely me, like I was a specimen. I could tell she thought I was “a cray” and then everything I was doing was then amplified from her perception of me, and she dug on my mom too. Rap-attacking to Beastie Boys in my raccoon sweater slob get-up didn’t help my case. Meh. We were so worried about freezin’ ass up there on the drake sky yard I wore layers and then was instantly sweating from the heat lamps. Awful toasty and good to know I can go there dressed skimpy next time and not look like I just left the babysitter’s club.

This is what having the time of your life looks like! You can see Mike’s twin brother.

Blahaha those glasses on me need an upgrade. Hi Shannon!

Oh please Kerry you wish.

Bye Michael, Hi Stephen.

Hi Mark. Bech’s arm needs its own twitter account.

This reminded me I have to blob our hip hop recording day. Don’t get me started on my phone pics. Avoiding.

Obvi photo winner and Jules trying to get in on that action. In due time my fleur.

Oh right and we dodged the apocalypse down in the bunker beneath the Bovine. Phewf.

Fixin’ the ladies.

My harem. They’re like my harajuku clique except zero per cent controllable.

Courtney and I have birthdays coming up. Faints.

That’s a good look and I like that three drinks are set up for the three bears.

And the slippers go on.

See my seat booster cushion? DON’T MAKE FUN OF ME OKAY!

Double laptop and post show adrenaline party celebration. It’s all over ahhh and I soonly finally become a more likeable person for a short awhile.

She totally tried to give that to me, left it here, then demanded it back next she came over. I didn’t even want it! Is it still here, did you take it back after all that? Classic.

Then this guy showed up.

Waiting for tacos. A delicate situation.

Waiting for wings. Waiting to exhale!

Waiting for brunch! My dad beatin’ it in there asap. This place rules, they all know us, like us, and know when to ignore us.

We need to talk.

Just kidding there is nothing left to say.

Yes we all know I really liked that one photo I took and there’s good news to report:

I took several.

And there was dirt on my face the whole time OR it was after wings and therefore, jerk sauce.

Much better quality.

I will refrain from my usual humourous observational restaurant banter this time. That over-sharing privilege is being revoked.

Because it’s baby num nums time. Yes I talk this way in real life, far fucking worse actually haheheheh. These wings are getting a time out though. I hate breaded wings. Why would you take baked jerk wings off and replace with breaded, why was some unsatisfied skinny person like HEY these could be so much more fattening you know, this is a pub after all, please roll these in batter. For me it’s the sauce that matters and the wing is a vessel, like how I will put Mados on salad just so I can taste Mados. So making my vessel taste worse by junking it up with added breading hurts my feelings. So here I come Lou Dawgs.

The juice is loose.

Luckily I am built like a spider monkey with long gangly limbs. It was still cutting off circulation a little well not really lets say that I doubt my mom could do this. Maybe we will see in my next blogvertorial takin’ the cougs a Juicin‘.

Picture an infinite loop of “being alluring”. Oh, it happened. Did I pull it off? I’ll have to wait and see along with you guys.

Sean Ward and I are big fans of the almighty “collab” and we’ve been engaging in intermedia f-ery for years now so why not do a cross-over? Kind of like when The Jetsons and the Flinstones hung out but even better.

So never fear! Raymbo Bright is here! I’m back in Juiceland :) .

Who’s That Guy?

I had four bases to cover once they said action: pretend to read newspaper, reach for cup, take a sip and notice then recognize the mystery guy across the way from me then make a hot for teacher face at him. Except this time I’m not for teacher lol but for…

And then in another scene I had MORE COMPLICATED sexy sadness actions to portray as my love interest flees the scene and I grip my Jamba Juice cup lacing each finger around the container one by one like in a comic strip panel and we close up on my wittle band-aid aw.

In between takes we muck about and I show them the fine art of juggling TWO oranges. Look what those nice JJ guys said about me, Dad!

“Look who was spotted at the JJ on Bloor! Raymi the Minx – the blonde, bombshell blogger enjoying the fruits of our labour with friends this weekend! Even trying to take some of our oranges too! Don’t worry Raymi, we will share a slice or two with you ;) Check out her blog here! raymitheminx.com/ *Blushing* Gee gosh thanks you guys.

Great Ray the Cray does as ‘zactly as she wants. I fancy meself a bit Eloise.

Kid ‘n Play? I will show you Kid ‘n Cray!

Who’s the lucky one’ll get a juice out of those oranges?

I learned on Lamb Chop’s play-a-long how to juggle, how to APPEAR to know how to juggle by timing your lobs and quickly passing the ball to your other hand to throw up in the air and when you get better you add the third ball, which I am not ready for yet. My Biography should be called THE EASY WAY. Ha!

See! Magic! Looks real. Looks like juggling well it is juggling except not the accepted kind with a minimum of three balls.

Do you want to talk about how not lady like I look in this dress?

Meh. I’ll leave worrying about those kinds of things up to you guys.

Have you figured it out yet? Ps. I got a shout out on The Dean Blundell Show this morning! Thanks Toronto Batman! Congrats for going over a million views on youtube and thanks for including l’il ol Raymi in on it :) .

So you might have guessed by now that there will be a blogmercial coming out of this Jamba Juice-infused post. Cannot wait to see it.

But who is this mysterious girl in the juice restaurant? She looks familiar to Batman too.

I love behind the scenes coverage. Wacky Zany times and being inside JJ is like being in Toy Story, it is my happy place and I’ll def be running here lots in the summer. Have dog treats for me please :) .

Sure thing love you guys! First location in all of Canaduh! Next location coming soon to 1853 Avenue Road, Yorkdale mall and Milton.

I didn’t want to get juice bloat so I had a non-dairy smoothie, peach, with 3G boost added (equivalent to a half cup of coffee) and it aided in my focus and adrenaline appeasing, acting capabilities (yes haha shut up) and filled me up. When I was done I had another, this time “a red one” which means strawberry and banana. With more 3G. We all had 3G’s and were cray for it and hyper-active, great energy for the shoot and time just flew on by, we were there three hours?

I re-applied my gloss numerous and numerously and almost went through the entire thing I bought the night of Love a heart. My lips are so big we go through a lot of chap or I just raw-dog it and have naked lips that make people think I am dying of something or other haha.

This is my librarian dress from years ago (bought it at vintage by the pound) and it’s now evolved into severely scary sexy librarian who will slam your hand between an encyclopedia IF YOU DO NOT SHHHH RIGHT NOW! Eeek I am scared and staying at home to read thank yew.

Sean teaching me how to be sexy. Correction, Directing. And bravo work I might add. It is one thing to be sexy which is way simple for me I just sit there sexily and people walk in to tables and walls all around me, dogs leap for joy, nerds look up from their programming etc but to act it can get instantly un-sexy so we had to do a lot of takes because I kept becoming SUPER DUPER NERVOUSLY UN-SEXY. Like way worse than Irma.

Luckily stupid sexy Sean was there to whisper sexy motivational (trade secreted) secrets in my ear that helped me get over my shyness and step in to my Raymi the Minx big girl pants. Okay Sean-o and Matt, roll tape.

Oh, it’s you. Hi there. Didn’t notice you there. Sluuuuuurp.

What are the chances of bumpin’ in to a dame like you in a joint like this after the other night? How many missed connections have you had in your life? They can make you cray, do cray things and act cray. In my past when I’ve spotted spottings down in the Dakota I go ok White lets do it, second chances are to be observed.

Future treat.

Pure torture this photo.

I’m a little Celina Kyle looking don’t you think? Cat eyes, the specs, the shadow play. If I plan on getting in to catsuit I better get my act together though. No more potato chips.

What’s that you say? Shhh. Lips sealed.

I couldn’t locate one of my burlesque heels (found it!) so I wore my spats, my dork spats Fred Astaire tap dancing the night away danced the soles in to dust spats yes precisely those spats.

I am an actress right down to my finger tips.

Baby don’t go!

If that were my librarian or teacher I don’t think I would tire of looking at her back side writing down all her weird riddles and stories and lessons.

I was complimenting his acting skills hahah, I saw his eyebrows furrow in an acty kind of way and I was like hey Dean “I totally noticed”. Dean is a wise guy and good fun.

A custy wished them congrats on the video. A lot of people gathered around and inquired on what the Crapman was going on with our little clique.

We had to get Batman away from the window at points.

Ooh movie star out.

Then some more Bat sightings in a bakery and we were off. Teaser out!

ps. my brother’s hockey nickname was The Juice (and Juice for short) because he was fast like OJ lol so this title is a nod to that as well as a play on Jamba Juice obvi. Follow them on Twitter @JambaJuiceCA to keep tabs on what’s in store with your neighbourhood juice store also hit them up on Facebook too: Jamba Juice Canada.

It’s not killing me but it might as well.

I’m nervous for this upcoming spring season, particularly about longboarding and am I too old and if I bail I’ll probably break something and I have never broken anything in my entire life and I don’t want to start now plus it is tempting fate every time you do something dangerous. It doesn’t take a genius to know that sitting down versus longboarding is for sure a way less knee shattering possibility-inducing activity. No one breaks their leg watching tv, am I right?

But fuck that I am going longboarding anyway. Our street is great for it, I am going to get wicked good again and limber and agile and I won’t start until I’ve become a rubber band of fitness again. That’s a self promise and you can be witness to this guarantee to not kill myself through physical recreational activities or any kind of sport this spring/summer. Or I will just come back and report on the cray thing I did afterward like climbing that apparatus at Brickworks at eleven in the morning. I am lucky my heart didn’t explode but that’s the thing you have to be ready to Raymbo throw down at the drop of a hat because I am not a NO Girl.

But anyway, I am said to be cray, and it’s part of my charm. Oh whatever. I say what I mean and I mean what I say, everything I write, do, or think is intentional, I am in control and I do have a filter. In the split second that I do that thing, I’ve already though it through and decided it will be funny or jarring and lets go for it.

We were getting ready for dinner/breakfast. Teach had left over pizza so he was able to coast through the day, I was hungry but I can have coffee all day sometimes only and be alright. Men go insane if they don’t eat so this was pushing our luck a little having a top floor shoot but someone is a little in the dog house and I am milking it.

I bet you are like WHY is he always in trouble? How scary an iron fist ruler is Raymi afterall??? Well maybe if I had my own pilot you’d get to know these things, hear that MTV Creeps? Baha as if I wouldn’t be acting all Marie Antoinette perfect on camera 24/7. Yes I do a good diva flip out, of course but, I think I would shave 50% of them out. Is it possible though? Do reality tv stars act crazier on tv? I don’t watch the Kardashians but my mother said they seem to act crazier for tv, invent dramas and fights over inane shit. That wouldn’t even be necessary in my household, something retarded happens every 3 seconds.

Lots of nudity too so, that’s good for ratings.

You recognize the old rug. We had it down here for a bit but it got all mangled up and trapped dust and other miscellaneous cray.

This landing needs a makeover.

I am a serious blob right now. My body happiness is at a low, yes it’s dull when I talk about it but here is your update, you can and will see in these photos the progression of adding 4lbs of weight over the weekend from my lifestyle and diet. This is a DO NOT do this lesson. Four pounds is nothing I know but when you are a pasty white ghost and wear tiny clothes all the time and have another burlesque show around the corner it matters. I can’t stop eating and drinking because I am sad. And mad. And trying to get glad. It is a temporary thing and I am just being honest and self indulgent.

This is probably too racy but so what.

I am a “burlesque” dancer and being comfortable with my body is important. I don’t know why I am getting defensive. It is my way I guess.

This board tells a story, every sticker, from every concert, festival, gift. Time capsule.

This one is juicy. It is time to go for a run once I figure out that new ipod that a Little Raymi sent me. That is man stuff I save my brain powers for other things. Other stuff I don’t know how to do around here: the hard tv things like computer to tv input and um, something? That’s when teacher shines! Old fashion lazy sexism is the greatest. In our cab to dinner last night for example you just immediately get a vibe that as the woman you do not have to talk which actually feels like don’t GET to talk which is fine for me cos the last bit of time before leaving the house was spent getting ready so I am fine tuning out while Teacher navigates so I can read tweets and email etc however it still stings a little bit, like my brain is less trusted than a man’s brain to get us to a restaurant. Fine I will sit here and pretend to be deaf like how I was being treated anyway, I said where we were going to and the driver waited for teach to get in to repeat the very same thing I just said. That happened a lot at the hardware store I worked at too. It makes you get bitchier, it really does. I zinged customers like cray then disappear in to the back or go for a smoke. My bosses were Italian and were like, shrug. Hah.

Still have to mail it. I keep my word but, for long periods of time. I will mail it next week and no take backs.

This makes the light red in the room.

Lady Garbage used the fashion foam collar for an actual nook to sleep like a pretzel in. It was adorablah. You know what I liked about dinner? It was affordablah.

Who’s spoiled?

HOW TO INFLUENCE PEERS AND SCARE PEOPLE. My next book.

This is how you train dogs I thought.

To catch a predator.

I didn’t put that crap on my hair, teacher used it, and it worked for his dirty messed up bloody shirt look.

Oh Lady Garbage what’s the matter?

See I was wearing tights and not naked legs on that cold Friday night not that anybody asked or accused me haha. Blogging: clearing up shit no one cares about est. 2000 thereabouts.

That hat is an Adventurehouse score. I’ve never worn it out, I better come up with a reason to soon before winter’s gone for good. It’s warm out today! Lazy ass dog esq and I just went out and now she is passed out on the couch like Snoopy.

Lure them in by breathing a little bit at them like a brief warm fog (ew I know I know!) and they will come in for a sniff kiss mom your cray animal whispering has passed on to me thank yew.

Stella? Hello? Polo!

(Next up will be some good old fashioned good girl juicy fun ;) .

SOS: Strung Out Sunday Prix Fixe

Hi Mughnday, how are you? This is what I did last night. Brace yourselves now. This photo so needs to be lightened colleague please do that.

Raymi’s hair looked like this. I could have just left it all down but something came over me, it was a soft hair day despite Leila cutting it to pieces in the dry dept. I forgot to put Mythic Oil on it but the mask I’ve been using in the shower is pretty moisturizing.

I look like I made my whimsical wreath head crown.

Sidecar has prix fixe sunday-wednesday, you can go have a bottle of wine and dine with a person for $80 (before tip) and have three courses each. Upstairs is a private bar/club too, you can pay a yearly fee or if it’s not too busy chat up your server like I did and poke your head up there, it’s very speakeasy twenties I shouldn’t even be telling you about it I can see myself doing all kinds of trouble up there. We were too tired so we didn’t have a drink, the bottle of Malbec was enough. I have been a cheap drunk lately and one who is fun to sit with so high five for that good streak.

Inspecting the perfection. Yep, it is still there. I miss having a digital camera. Mystery Camera is digi but it is 1. smashed and 2. big. So I leave it at home.

I gathered my hair at the top and pinned it with my heart diamond barrette from Miami. I need to get more hair pins, elastics are bad for follicle tearing, especially mine. Sleeping on Silk pillowcases have helped my bedhead by 10000% I know that statistics are bunk but yeah if you have un-co-operative or unpredictible hair, sleep on silk pillowcases and it will more or less look like it looked when you went to bed. I’ll blog about princesshead sleeping land soon when I get through all this other crap that I have to blog first. HAVE TO.

If you’re a garlic fan have the caesar, trust me. Teach had soup.

Two diff shades of pink an even and random blend spread.

This clutch blends in everywhere speaking of. I ask someone to pass it and they say what colour, I say white and then we get in a war over how it is not white and I say YES but out of all the purses THIS IS THE WHITE ONE so grab it.

I am so age face obsessed right now. Jessica said I don’t look old at all, like how my hater’s club proclaims. Ho hum, only hope to get an eye-lift maybe in the future, something to flatten out my puffiness.

These grainy photos are masking, I try not to do filters, it’s cheating. If it’s not great then trash it, that is my rule. I don’t like lying to myself much less you guys.

I got bombed.

I always get the roast chicken.

The skin is delish. I am going on a diet this week.

Steak frites of course. The mayo is irresistible.

One more chicken friend photo. It came on lentils and potatoes. The dessert was meh.

It’s been looking like a fun house in here for days thanks to the baboons that just will not stop defying gravity. It’s nice to always be surrounded by “a thing” that being a Christmas tree a month after Christmas or piles of my hello kitty crap. In other totally related news we are getting a maid. Just for the once, there are three animals also living here and they sure as hell don’t clean up after themselves so we’re hiring outside help and by we I mean Teacher because they’re his animals (who like me more lol) well, Lady Garbage likes him the most bust since I have been leaving her cups of water in the upstairs bathroom she might be bending to the minx side. Anyway Maid time Excellent!

We watched some of the Oscars at Leila’s and then darkness washed over the dude and it was beddy byes.

Bye!

ps. I can’t wait til this blog looks better. It’s not killing me but it might as well.

Rageball

Dodge save the Queen First Place 6th annual Budd Cup Champions! Oi Oi Oi! Thanks for sending Tim! I forgot that our victory bottle of champers exploded up my face for taking one for the dodgesavelequeens team and embarking on the first sip out of the bottle. Tres Punk. Digging the PSH photobomb and that superhero we smote upon thy ruin in Sudden Death. Lolz Strombo has a question for Tim. That’s funny I didn’t even notice he was playing in jeans but anyway nevermind all that FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!

Anger problems? What ever are you guys talking about?

Bitches I’m zen. Ha. Howdy! Happy SOS (Strung out Sunday) We had an early night last night and I woke up to all these party people wanting to party, wahh. I didn’t go to charity arm wrestling last night because I think more sore limbs from physical combat donation would mess up this week for me ha. Also a four year old girl could beat me in arm wrestling. I need to get stronger before I can publicly humiliate myself (again). Life’s a journey, people!

Dodge this! (I think he did lol).

Ya can’t catch me I’m the blonde punky brewster. Nyuk nyuk nyuk.

I’m sorry but you brought this on yourself.

My arm today is sore but surprisingly not so much. I do weights often so it’s ok doke. Legs are another story, guy I lazy in the winter.

Ha me wimping out. One guy was doing Stalin intimidation tactics, pick a victim and three balls at once is quite effective on your psyche.

Yeaah.

Pink Blondie shirt was one of our team ringers, def in running for MVP.

That’s it I am throwing some Ramones on. Someone said I look like the Ramones blond drag version. Cool why not. My brother said that too, especially when my hair was black. I should print out every internet burn on me in to a book and give it to him for his birthday ahaha.

Colleague showed up to take photos for a bit. He got slammed in the head with a ball from behind bouncing off a wall and it exploded his glasses right off his head in an arc to the ground, warping them and his eyes instantly welled up red and teary and barely anyone noticed. I bet he regretted ever showing up lol but it was pretty punk.

He wore his NEW YORK FUCKIN CITY shirt especially.

Not to be a sadist or anything but seeing and hearing people get hit by balls all day long was straight up hilarious, they didn’t at all hurt if you could avoid them in the face. I only got body shots, legs, bare legs and loud slaps I wonder how many secret boners occurred haha.

There were tons of cute girls in all kinds of nerd crush bait costumes, hipsters galore and fit jocks it’s an overload to the senses and afterward we all go to the bedford to get loaded and eat carbs. I got a bad burn on my wrist from my samosa, those things are steamy!

We were very punk. I started the Oi-ing and when we’d wipe out or that one guy just fell in to us a big pile of punks it was amusing I am sure for one and all. I laughed my ass of all day long. They played the Ramones for us in the final game and that was a big help in our victory, plus we just wouldn’t lose. If other teams paid more attention they’d know to definitely win certain games against us. Total sleepers we was. Gear!

One of my gloves is gone but I could not play with wearing one on my right hand. I think people should stay in their full costumes, it’s kind of cheaty to remove your accessories which is what everyone does once the rageball takes a hold of their competitive nature. I think this Budd Cup was the least competitive one yet and it was still pretty damn lethal I’d say, myself included.

But I don’t cheat, and we saw a lot of cheaters, like one guy getting 4 balls rained on him at once and he acted like he didn’t get hit and no one said anything so he kept playing and we were like how in the fuck did you not just get hit there dude, bullshit. But cheaters never prosper so, guess which team won? It’s for charity and about fun so allowing things to slide yeah okay fine. Chris was like ha Raymi I knew you’d get a win one of these years I was like hey man I have always been #2 and I missed two years in a row and coming back in first place, ain’t too shabby.

Dodgeball is a great sport for me and stress reliever and GIVE ME A GIANT CONTAINER OF BALLS TO CONTINUOUSLY PELT AT YOU. Dekel and I had a bit of practise wherein I whipped a ball at him 20 times in a row ahhhhhhhhh release hahaa. It doesn’t even hurt and I was more so trying to be dramatic and artistic. I really like playing catch too, I’m a tom boy and I have a good arm, throwing ball on the beach or football is fun. Summer I am going to DESTROY YOU.

And you get caught on various sides of the auditorium while games were in play or have to comb the entire building underground passageway labyrinth to make it back to your stuff or team or whatever to find they’re not there but on the other side where you just were. A great day of exercise for sure. White unitard superhero guy (I think they were the comic con team) was the last guy standing against us and he did a few funny poses because everyone was watching and it was his moment. So good.

Some teams appeared to be stacked and full of giants and it was terrifying a lot of the time I almost broke my arm running along a wall and getting my hand caught up in a partition and the sound of the balls hitting the baseboards were so loud and BANG eventually one came right off and we left it off DODGE THE SAVE QUEEN Oi oi Oi! See how much this is going to my head? Everyone else is saying they are adding it to their resumes HAahahahahah Yeah.

I left my hair a mess to stay punk. I fixed it later on.

Too competitive to wear docs or chucks. Teach wore chucks.

Costumes everywhere and it was tres hilar seeing people’s fall apart or do theme poses while being attacked by balls haha good times. What charity was this for again? We donated money and jerk marinade and tuna. Sounds like a party to me!

No future. No future. No future for you.

Most fun to watch play, his dress falling all off and said he looked online for the best thing to stuff with and a girl said bath poofs, she was right! Philip Seymour Hoffman in the dress was really good but injured his leg so sat like an old woman in a wheelchair for the rest of the afternoon. Hilarious. Funny cool people everywhere gettin’ up to hi-jinx it was pure jokes all day long.

See me in my backpack like an adorablah little ant. Yep that is me.

Fashion people, that’s Donatella and they also had a Lagerfeld that we thought looked like Beethoven at some points until Mike only had (or Steve? I can’t keep the Budd boys straight) his tie left and fake collar.

We are under attack.

And Kid Rock guy avoids?

Lets try it again.

And Nancy dodges!

Leopard leopard!

Three on one bullies.

Got it.

Here I come.

Also my roots are coming in so things are going to look a little more Spungen around here. Teacher was like and this was an outfit you had planned to wear today anyway ahahah yeah I made it from scraps laying around.

That’s my arch ringer nemesis from years ago (and friend too lol). He didn’t draft me because he didn’t know if I’d show this year and looky loo I am back from the dead hombre. Next year we can be on the same team. I didn’t mind leaving it up to random fate/chance the draft. Chris said they put all the names out on a pool table, based on experience and skill. Oh man I’d have liked a picture of that drunky sports fantasy football team/Churchill moment in time and I guess they made the right choice because our team ruled. Look he’s waving to people it would have been funny for everyone if I threw that ball right. Despite popular belief I am not actually an asshole though.

I was a gentleman and stopped myself and saved the ball for someone else as he is obvi out now but sometimes people just launch it anyway to get someone for a bonus JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN’T KNOW IT YOU ARE SO FUCKING OUT NOW hahahhaa.

Sometimes mid throw someone will yell stop, for you to save it for a triple assault. I think half the time you should just let nature occur because you took a bit of rageball power away from that READY TO GO throw, you know? A successful dodgeballer should not ever doubt themselves or think, just act and be courageous and confident and focus all of that energy from the bottom of your soul and direct it all to one place, as far and as hard and as fast as you can, and keep it below the neck. Oh I will show you romanticizing sports, Moneyball. Ps. thanks Chris for all of this and for keeping the Budd Cup tradition going for all these years!

Get him.

I mean seriously now how can you possibly beat a team of floating players. We were actually X-Men in disguise, fooled you’s.

In elem school track and field, shot put was my ONE THING other than high jump (and long jump) that I prevailed in, so yeah, when I say go long I MEAN IT. Christ!

Good gamesies after each match then you keep going in a circle after the long line and high five your whole team. I am easily delightible.

Too bad Lagerfeld lost his wig behind teach there. I want to know which team won best costumes, best chick and best dude.

Plenty of blond wigs in yesterday too, it made me blush a little bit Ha.

Just another day in the life of Raymbot.

Whackity whack that is that!