Monthly Archives: December 2011

You were a bitch, the end.

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Remember this comment from this (NO BIG DEAL) post, well she just emailed! When it rains garbage in the form of “two cents” it pours. I wrote to her email the following ten days ago:

Dear hypocrite

for someone working in some shape or form with a real hipster poser website type thing, your comment on my blog was pretty ridiculous. grow some balls.

http://raymitheminx.com/2011/12/10/what-a-creative-designer-ad-type-guy-experiences-daily/comment-page-1/#comment-97208

my website is ranked 11k in north america, you have no regional data. I am right, you are wrong.

thanks for you shitty commentary

xo rlw

And now, 10 days later, she feels like responding:

Wow! I’ve read the comments on your post since I commented and people are saying this is your sense of humour, but I don’t get it!

You just seem mean to me!

What did I do to you? I was only (so I thought) trying to defend a graphic designer. Was my comment really that ridiculous. Sheesh!

I guess when you’re ranked so highly (whatever 11k means…) you don’t need to be nice to people who read your content and try to offer feedback.

Sorry if my comment offended you, I was only trying to stick up for an artist. (Again, I didn’t know he was your friend).

MY REPLY:

You made a dig and i reacted accordingly. all’s fair in blog and war, and you made a swipe, on my platform.

sidenote, hes my colleague, all men i work with in some capacity have a raymi crush and i treat them like dirt to keep them at a distance in order to protect myself. sometimes public punishment is required in good fun and is part of raymi the minx. its a dog eat dog world and competitive industry, a chip is required on one’s shoulder and trust me i get it all back in spades (the “mean”) so when shit is flung (which you did) at me i definitely bite back. I work very hard but unfortunately in my field that apparently warrants daily abuse which I refuse to swallow. You were a bitch, the end. You fell in to the minx trap cos you’re a noob hi welcome to the internet and you should learn about internet rank before trying to rip me an asshole or school me and then act innocent.

Oh and by the way, I’m in the 10k rank spot now baby and have been for a week.

Thxkaybye!

+++++

HATERADE EMAIL PERSON NUMBER 2

and then this white trashole fought with me while I was tired and recovering on the couch all night long, I found her (or his?) email buried in my inbox, never fear little buddy Aunt Raymi is here to give you the attention you so desperately need!

Hmmm. So you’ve been blogging for over 10 yrs yet this chick linked below has been doing it for only around 4 and has accomplished more than you…. (Considering she is looking for ‘fame’ like you are)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ijustine

You must be doing something wrong.

Dear PERSON WHO IS SO TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH iJUSTINE. (who ripped her name off of iCarly so you are both losers and iJustine is an imitator which, I have many of).

there are billions of internet superstars

i have never heard of her before you so shes not so famous then right?

OH OW I feel like shit now hahaaa loser.

Ok I just read over her wikipedia.

she’s of youtube vlog generation aka internet “tv” which is a different genre entirely. again, nice try. if you are a raymi hater why wouldnt you attack me about something that actually hurts, cos this, doesn’t. and you’re wrong, im on tv you just dont know it yet. burn.


Well I’m no hater and why would i try to hurt someone I don’t even know? I expect an apology. Really there is no difference between you and her since you both post on Youtube and she has a blog as well so I was just asking a question considering the reasons ‘WHY’.. Which are reasons you BOTH SHARE.

In fact I (and many others I see) think iJustine went way over the top for crying like a baby over the death of Steve Jobs. (She rightly got alot of flack over it for also using her post to make money.) Her act was soooo fake that day.

Here’s your laugh for today:

*You’re too old to be saying ‘burn!’ to anyone dear.

“fake that day” You wrote to me just to talk deal with your obsessive gushing over this ijustine chick. FREAK I have nothing to do with her. Go talk to your nerd gfs at a slumber party while you pick at your face zits.

and too old? baha I bet I look better than whatever fucking age u are and again she has gone video viral she’s formulaic and trite

Repeat: viral video and american is a whole different ball game now fuck off and leave me alone

I don’t care about steve jobs, I’m not a vlogger for ads, or a dumbass actress stooge who was probably coached through all of this we are totally different so your initial argument is bunk and I have been blogging for eleven years get it right hater, commenter, spectator. Make your own shit or be nice or silent, your garbage is an unwanted joke. Bubbye.

When I said ‘Too old’ I meant most people would expect a teenager to use the word ‘burn!’ as you did.

Get it? You mistakenly taking it as a swipe at your looks shows your lack of maturity. Especially AFTER I told you I’m not a hater and sent you a link to laugh at iJustine.

This Is my last message. Have a good day.

I don’t respond well to swipes which is what it was but anyway its just how I spoke in the moment and I get a lot of hatey shitty so there was no other way to not take that as a dig I didn’t know what u meant fuck christ

MERRY CHRISTMAS THANKS FOR WASTING MY TIME THOUGH ALL OF YOUR EMAILS ARE IMPORTANT TO US AT RTM HQ LITTLE RAYMI TROLLS.

Now, do yourselves a favour and stop worrying about people on the internet whom you have no control over.

Omg what will We eat next!??! Shower time excellent!

I bet your fun is pretend

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Ooh la la what are they staring at?

Total doll!

Smooth move! Nice throw, expertly timed. Guh.

What is going on?

I look like a grasshopper. Do you think I take myself seriously? Frig off losers.

L-i-v-i-n’.

Pastel does the cawktease, nudes and sparkles and oh my.

I have a pre-show video of this. I have SO MUCH more material it is making my marbles clink around like the little rascals.

Bunny you were phenomenal!

So cute and classy and saucy. Yum slizzurp.

This lucky woman got a lapdance.

Like cat and mouse.

Shit damn!

Red Zeppelin turned it out with the costumes holy crap LOVED IT. Can’t wait to go through Tom’s pics after this next blast round of shots.

That’s one of my Raymism things that I have to stop doing hahaha.

Gorgeous! Pastel has danced for/with LADY GAGA! I am bowing.

That’s Tom there. He dressed as an internet troll at our halloween show. Tom is a groupie of our ever changing/rotating troupe name. Nice boots and ribcage Red Zeppelin!

Why does this make me think of Sesame Street in the 80’s, 70’s? I love that jumpsuit lets break out in to a street dance while we sing about keeping it real alphabet style.

Good as new again haha shrug.

LOOK at those suckers raise up like that holla! and they’re big bajungas. These are things I think guys are thinking at the time in the crowd right? I need a guy review one day ahaha I’ll try to find someone from pervert’s row. Bunny said there’s a slew of dudes in the burlesque circuit who go to all these things. There’s a whole scene.

HOT.

Ok I admit I look slightly retarded here but you know, it’s not the end of the world and if I am grinning at you like this it’s a good thing cos you are about to get a welsh cuddle from a Minx followed by something nonsensically accidentally intelligent lisped into your ear. I thought I slurred when I drank, newp I lispth. HAhaha.

Pastel is going to take us through her workout regime gauntlet. I am ready kid.

Destruction concerned and that’s a Little Raymi in shot too obvi you can tell by the hair Alyssa what is your blog/twitter again? LOVE AND MISS YOU!

If I’m a minx then Pastel is def a cheetah. Apparently her body has yo-yo’d more than mine has. People eat that up man, can’t wait to see some pics.

Disney princess face. Any guess what her heritage is?

If I ran a Hello Kitty Strip Club…

Kat and I look all business here. That’s cos we is sucka. Our Vday show is going to be bananers and we are switching venues to somewhere bigger, with raised stage. Valentinettes? Hmm will have to think of a good one, cupid’s something. Bleh. DUMB DUMB. Thanks for the lingerie girly!

Here are some of erica’s pics:

Clemmy Claus.

Hobo Clemmy Claus back there ahha and in the foreground our window smasher.

You’re still adorable Erica despite this angle you don’t like next time more kiss takes xoxo and thank you for the sexy scientist costume!!

A garter winner. Kat and her buddy.

Haha.

There’s glitter on my tit.

We are in a fake tits wanting competition now too. If Pastel can’t be happy with her body then we are all fucking fucked.

Dripping hot.

Major influx of dudes bemoaning (the ones who did) missing Sunday night once they saw the coverage. I told you so bros.

I could care less what you think of it. Come back to me when you have a live solo performance of your own and the guts to do it. This video features a funny moment with my cupcake Christmas ornament and this version of MCB is slightly diff than the one I know, slightly slower tempo. I made do.

Remember haters, I am adorable and you are horrible.

Winners are proactive.

Losers are left in the dust writing hate comments on blogs of winners.

See how I covered up the word SEX? I am classy.

I love how the next dopey comment will be WELL I AM GLAD I KNOW WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE IN VIDEO SO I KNOW I DIDN’T MISS ANYTHING thank you loser for the opinion no one asked for if you’re so glad why did you come here, wait for it, then watch it, and then comment about it? Hahaha.

Hi John!

Christmas vortexxx.

I’m sorry but I cannot get over this one of my ass.

Red Zeppelin’s first solo was Peggy Lee’s the very thought of you.

Ok I’ma plaster this with Elfette pics now.

Girls from the North Country

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Bum Bum Lauren! I don’t think I have one cool family nickname, does anybody?

2 secs for me to jump in the shot. We’re pretty bush league.

I don’t see anything old here, sorry, nothing but hot taught in their prime fresh Chrismas chicks. I bet I am in better shape than whoever left that comment.

Heehehh you can see that I am not wearing pasties here.

Clem burst in to the back and said RAYMES GET ME MORE SPRINKLES. I created a monster, I threw sparkles on everyone, constantly, dumping them down sweaters, coats, scarves, shirts, while embracing, leaving behind piles of the shit it was hilarious and pissed off a lot of people. I had words with the cleaner at the end of the night, tipped him a twenty whilst basically saying now talk to the hand I’ve had enough tonight brah. I paid the girls out and took no cut, didn’t charge for their costumes either, a very Minxy Christmas to you Elfettes thanks for everythang! I am wearing Allison’s braclet in this picture she has a new (doing very well) jewelry business now awesome. Gave away a thong too and fishnets, thank you Ohhh Canada!

Behind the scenes panic room.

One day, I am fat, the next (today apparently) I am too old, naw son, I ain’t too old for shit, maybe you are. The sooner you are to slowing down the closer you are to dying. Hating on someone who is living their dream will not bring you any closer to yours.

Have you ever wanted to tap dance to punk rock with one of those old timey film darlings?

Pastel’s new fan. He came with 5 look-alikes all towering over me and asks Teacher how he puts up with or handles my burlesque. Lots of drinking.

Pastel raisin’ hell.

Quite the tickle trunk back there, Paddy had all her shit in my area and was never around for me to say hey move your crap so I kept having to do that which wasn’t fun. Your stuff HAS to be organized, number for number, otherwise it’s a frenzy of search and destroy until find.

Did that bow ever come off? I was in a bit of a vortex at points.

Bechnique, you should have put a costume on.

Sprinkle fairy! Clem referring to sparkles as sprinkles made me have a giggle fit for five minutes. I don’t know why but I just prefer retarded people in life. I am so glad he came in santa suit, gives you permish to be a jerk all night long and get away with it.

This guy’s friends threw his scarf on the ground and like a good little Elfette I picked it up and twirled it around for him and he was very happy, it washed away his going to scream at friends moment. We keep it Jersey Shore and dance where and whenever the hell we please. Oh my god I miss Jersey Shore in Italy I can’t believe I am saying that.

No elves left behind.

Good score off Red Zeppelin that red thing thanks girl! Very retro Miss Claus.

That’s Red unwrapping herself. I was very impressed by her performances. Yes her name has changed, she’s been getting weirdos ever since this burlesque thing started uh oh, how exciting!

Would you tell this girl she’s too old to dance? She’s a pro and smokin’ hot, we are the same age. A gaggle of my boys were like, Raymi, WHAT IS HER NAME!? It was a really good time Sunday night. Leaving me loser comments about your opinions and feeling sorry for me is hysterical for one and all in the real world who were there. You say so much about yourself when you hate on girls for taking their clothes off for a show in real life and then share it with you on their blog that has been number one since the year 2000 like I am supposed to feel like an idiot now? Oh no I have been exposed thanks to your detective skills and your opinion has REALLY MADE ME THINK ABOUT MY LIFE. I don’t care if you think I can’t dance. This isn’t the so I think I can dance show, it’s the I know I look smokin’ in teeny g-strings and love Christmas music lets make a cabaret and great material out of it show. Everything I do turns to gold and after everything I do someone feels like a grinch at the reflection of the art I made then blogged and like clockwork, chimes in. I’m sorry you couldn’t get 3 people to show up at your turn at the pole.

Rhonda and her blasted husband George we had them over at the end of this with Brosz7 and it was fun all that etc but should have been in bed. They’re all the way in from Ireland so that requires a good gong show. I’ve been pretty good this holiday season so far I think and deserved a little letting loose. There aren’t many breaks in RaymiLand.

Merry Christmas and go f*ck yourself would be this xmas card caption.

And this one too haha. Elfettes have sparkly claws, insert claus pun.

And now we get loose. Tonight I gotta cut loose, Foot loose.

Kick off your Sunday shoes. Please, Louise, pull me off a my knees.

Jack, get back, c’mon before we crack. Lose your blues everybody cut footloose!

And now we are talking shop about the incident while Amy is in my Raymi la la land kevin bacon vortex which was actually probably the spice girls or something hahaa. Meanwhile, Paul on the left there is totally stoked Kim Jong Il died and owns my painting of him (from 2006!) and he was with us the night we met the kid who threw the thing through the window, I think Clem was too it was a very special thing he did for us lol.

The canes were excellent.

Should I show up to Teacher’s family’s Christmas dinner like this? So, we’re all reading my blog now I guess, hi all meet the REAL ME. Your hot tub better be on lol. I will probably show up dressed like a Ski Bunny.

People just collapse right in to me I am so loveable I don’t know what you are all crying for, I’m more enjoyable than your own best friends!

Amy is awesome. We met and fell in love at the LCBO in LibVille, she was sampling and we were drunk, it was a Saturday bender, summer I think, I was dressed like Malibu Hello Kitty and who the fuck even knows what we talked about.

End of the night, me and Sarah are always yammering about girl stuff basically like, I like you, NO it is I who LIKES YOU! She posted this photo of us on FB and someone said… “holy crap i think my friend’s band wrote a song about her”.

Raymous the famous!

Um where were you two dopes during dance recruitment?

The after dance costume party is when I sneak out stuff from my tickle trunk and put it on drunk hot girls and then get pictures for my blog.

Hey we’re the Chippettes and again I’d like to point out how hot and young looking I am just in case the trolls missed it.

I found something.

Something way better than sprinkles.

How do these get here? Staff after hours ploughing? Hey babe can I keep those I want to hang them up here to reminisce and so I can remember that I had sex here last night.

Excuse me I have to interrupt your ever fascinating irish drunken tale in order to dangle this skanky thong on your face you don’t mind do you?

She didn’t know and it was too late to stop her, luckily crotch didn’t touch lips. Well not in this photo anyway.

TBH it looked brand new.

#bovineproblems

Hot mess Christmas choo choo train.

Kept busting in on their dance circle in loud coloured outfits and loud coloured mouthing off, it was a gas, then we split two cabs back to the gingerbread house and continued getting polluted and that’s why I slept all day yesterday. I don’t power drink like I used to. That’s basically how Winehouse bit the dust eh. I say you should always drink a little less the older you get.

Red had a date in attendance this night who turns out knew me from something to do with the Globe and Mail days I forget but I am sure this date’s activity solidified things for that dude and Red Zeppelin haha. “So like my burlesque troupe is having a show tonight (and they are totally fucking insane sexy shit shows) do you wanna come?”

Ok I am adding the rest of colleague’s and Tom’s and Little Raymi (erica’s) now. These were all Mystery camera for the most part, did you have a nice lunch?

Brb I have to damage control shit with Mrs. Claus. It was a May Pang kinda thing the Elfettes, you know, but now she’s a bit cranky. Google John Lennon/lost weekend if you don’t know what I am talking about.

The Elfettes take Queen Street

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At :57 seconds you will hear a great big smash in this grinch vid clip, then, more glass shattering.

Someone yells out Home Alone when this starts hahaha. Oh and I fucked up the end. Oh well. Ho ho ho!

About 40 seconds in (right as I sling shot my garter in to the crowd, great artistic timing that!) you hear the window smash/shatter/pop and then the show goes on.

Pastel so hot! What a little package! Definitely opening you before Christmas.

Too bad this happened during my grinch solo. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow. An ultra Raymi fan did it hahaha ugh. I am prolonging looking at my camera and all video footage til tomorrow, today I needed a much earned siesta. I woke up at 5.

Oh dear. That’s Raymi world for ya. It’s going to be awkward, that next fb chat, so apparently you were calling the bovine all day long about me and remember how you threw the velvet rope stand into the glass window? After you barfed all over yourself and they bounced you so then you threw the thing. I feel bad for the dude but come on. Well, we did meet him at the bovine months ago (he’s a regular) and just allowed him in to the gaggle of us as a kind of novelty but kept a distance and then well, now this. The cops took him away. And there is your fifteen minutes of fame brah.

With fame comes massive irresponsibility. That’s for sure. What I mean is, do I ignore my “fans” and are they fans anyway? How am I supposed to know the dude is a fruit loop? I don’t have time for that shit. And thus, the circle of fame irresponsibility what I just invented. Another one is older dudes who have fallen off the wagon, become clean and then want to be my salvation via constant emails I don’t have time for laden with innuendos and I never asked to be saved, nor did I say I wanted to stop or needed help even. These are the ones who become my trolls, or, many fit the archetype I have experienced over the years. I think I am doing pretty good actually, my arms are toned, I am standing in this iconic doorway with my brand name stamped on my arm headlining a show of my own creation, seen realized before me in a room with all my friends. Quite awesome it was and I am, in fact.

Lol.

Ohh Bunny.

Many more to come tomowoah thanks guys! Everyone who came you rule, sorry for the Raymover today (hey that’s life). xoxo

And now I watch some of the videos while we wait for indian delivery and watch the Survivor finale.

The Minx who stole Christmas

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Costume boudoir explosion here! Omg our costumes are dope!

ALL ALONE ON CHRISTMAS – DARLENE LOVE – opening number, all elfettes: raymi red pastel bunny

THE VERY THOUGHT OF YOU – PEGGY LEE – RED ZEPPELIN

MERRY CHRISTMAS BABY – CHUCK BERRY – RAYMI

SANTA CLAUS IS BACK IN TOWN – BUNNY

JINGLE BELLS (SAMMY DAVIS VERSION) – PASTEL

BREAK

BABY ITS COLD OUTSIDE - johnny mercer – RED ZEPPELIN

MERRY CHRISTMAS DARLING – PASTEL

MR. GRINCH – RAYMI

(mini break)

– FINALE – TRIO – IM DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS – THE DRIFTERS – BUNNY PASTEL RAYMI

ENCORE

Mele kalikimaka – bing crosby – RAYMI

thanks!

Read this flyer. THIS ONE! UP THERE. This is what’s going on tonight. Would love to see you!

Tonight will be a night to remember before the week of xmas hell begins. Hang on to your dream for one.night.longer of self-deluding and fantasy and see your favourite Christmas classics acted out in sexy burlesque it’s going to be redonkufunkalicious.

I better not rip one of my feather earrings out of my ear.

Adding AA over knee stockings and AA green bikini bottoms I am going to wear over this g-string and peel off, eeeh!!

HAhaha my earrings. Yes I kept them.

LOL.

I wanted to throw a banana in to the crowd but I think that would be like, enough.

These gloves ahhh. There will be headbands to match. So excited. How many costume changes? I’ll post the set list.

Kat did you find that extra garter?

I broke one during a performance yesterday oops. 7 chances left! I could sew it back together I guess. Have you ever been kissed by an Elfette before? They’re better than angel kisses. And hey man, I kissed that ginger troll hobo lush horseshoe tavern barfly on the WET BEARD EWWW when I was blasted with my ex once so I don’t think that level of disgusting could be topped tonight so if you catch a garter the Elfette charter states that blabbity blah do I have to keep writing this dear penthouse drivel ? hheheh.

Hair done did. Hope the BD team come by tonight after/during their xmas party.

I am chevy chase in national lampoon’s christmas vacay when he falls through the attic ceiling agaha.

I am going to wear Allison’s jewelry tonight, I guess she makes jewelry now. She’s always up to something.

I’m going to give a pair of these teeny weeny gitches away!!! Fresh don’t worry. Thanks OHHH CANADA.

I love that tutu, it brightens up the room so much I can’t stop staring at it. It’s a soft day glo, trips your eyeballs out, going to look amazing on stage with my feather grinchy pointer/enforcer.

Requisite I am fat comment, that is an xs nightie, tightest sausage making thing ever and the bottoms cut off at my love handles.

Bum bum Lauren is one of my family nicknames. Here is because why.

Dude, it’s happening.

This cat is known to drink from my coffee, or, anything. Stupid cat. I love My Friend.

Sigh. I wish but when the hell else can I seriously wear green elf stripper sparkle shoes and be taken seriously. Nowhere.

Stop forehead furrowing!

Eep. I am going to be doing some serious #girlscaping once Teach gets back with a triple-A battery for my muff trimmer.

Wouldn’t miss it for the world, would ya? I should def dance in these grotesque things tonight hahah I am.

Back to practising my luau.

Merry Christmas baby you really did treat me nice

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Chuck Berry is a Christmas groupie, who knew? Teacher didn’t tell me my tag was sticking out. Thanks.

This gets sexy sunbeam white rugbunny good at the 56 second mark fyi ;). Then I roll my thigh highs off!

Understudy Frida Kahlo.

Ridiculous and perfect.

This is not an outfit don’t worry hahaha.

Barking together hehehehheh she loves me.

Yes I look crap. I went to the salon since this so, don’t judge meh. Lawd knows I get enough. Just killing time til SNL here. Who is coming out tomorrow? It is not to be missed. For se’ers.

We have an understudy just in case heheheh.

Nice tan line haha I forgot to take my underwear off.

Oh by gosh by golly, it’s time for mistletoe and holly!

Did you ever hear the Christmas story about the Elfettes that got away from the North Pole? No? Well my my, you sure are in for a treat this Sunday nights it’s going to tickle the dickens right out of you my pets. (said in fluttery genteel society speak of the utmost class, debutante affair mmhmm) And a very Southern Pole Christmas to ya gents, winkity wank.

I’m going to need to get green thigh highs for my mr. grinch number.

Never get invited to weddings? Me either. You have 8 chances of catching an Elfette christmas garter belt (sell that shit on ebay son! I might fling my thong into the crowd for keepers, that’s what our lingerie smut peddling sponsor has suggested so i’m do it!!!)

Kay dancey time excellent!

Got my hair did, roots be gone! See you tomowoah.

All persons on Naughty list manditory meeting this Sunday night

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Lol.

Mini Christmas for Hello Kitty TOO!

Lol.

This is a child’s tutu btw. Slips right around ma teensers waist.

Did you notice my earrings?

Hi Kat!

Thanks for the outfits Kat!

Thanks for making today fun everyone!

Sumptuous rug!

How sexy is your recycling?

Excited to see what Katrina extracts from her video footage!!

How cute is our dance going to be?

And now I am Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacay lol you know which scene? It’s my mom’s favourite.

Ordering this online with Bunny yesterday felt too much like an exam lol.

Hot purse them Nella Bellas are.

What a life Kat must lead. Dig this girl.

Just two more sleeps til Sunday. If you catch an Elfette garter in the crowd you will be handsomely rewarded with mistletoe kisses. There are 8 garters in total.

Dudes it’s gonna be awesome!

Oh yeah there’s more of these but they don’t really fit so I’ll hold off.

Ok maybe just one more.

Gah I can’t stop myself! ha, Elf, can’t stop myselfette.

Pastel!

Red Zeppelin and I have hilar stage chemistry together. We may have some side punk rock burlesque biz for jokes on the side in the future lol.

Back to Christmas now!

Ha psyche. Ok now!

Look at the big bag of glitter confetti! The Elfettes will be sprinkling it everywhere while we walk around and dance and get up to elf mischief.

The day I wore two pairs of pants at the same time oooh!

Leftover pics I have previously uploaded and forgot about.

See? Look at her eyes, opposite directions. The coasters came with the house I moved in to.

No, My Friend, over here.

Aw I want to blow a fart on your tummy.

Bullies will always be losers which is why they’re bullies

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Hi Raymi. I’ve been following you for awhile and have seen you lose a fair bit of weight. It is inspiring; I’ve just never told you because I’ve always thought that you must get that a lot and if I can’t be original I’d rather not try (we all have our hang-ups). But you also get a lot of bullshit and it never seems to stop so more niceties are deserved.

Such a brief comment from Katia and look what it started. It was a thoughtless thing to say. Some people can’t not criticize. We all know them in real life but it’s shittier to encounter them on the internet because the criticism is visible to all and lasts, unlike the stinging, but passing, comment made by some jerk at a party, for example. And because the internet offers anonymity they can show their true colours without anyone finding out that they are ugly on the inside. When you think about it like that it almost makes these people sound like the psycopaths in that they try to pass themselves off as normal people but secretly get off on abusing others.

I question her motivation for saying something shitty like that and the only answer I can come up with is that she’s a bit off – mentally, behaviourally, etc. Or maybe she actually is trying to get to you – malicious, vindictive, plotting (still would make her a bit off).

You’re secure enough in your body to show it off and there really is nothing sexier than that. I went to the strippers once and saw a few bigger ladies dancing and they were really sexy. And it made me realize that I can be sexy, too, because being sexy has nothing to do with size and everything to do with confidence. That being said, you’re obviously really tiny and I think it’s good for everyone to see that if you know what you want and are willing to work for it you can attain it. If you didn’t have this confidence I would be worried about your headspace – it’s worrisome when thin girls who go on about how fat they are.

Anyway, from this one comment about rolls it became this crazy accusation that you were lying about your weight. Honest about everything else, why would you lie about that? Good on you for proving yourself yet again. It reminds me of celebrities suing tabloids for printing bullshit. Somebody has to call them on it and I’m happy when someone who can, does.

It’s just a bit exhausting because the shit never, ever stops. And I am just a reader so I don’t know how you can take it as the target. You’re still going strong so you obviously don’t need any advice from me. But in case it ever gets hard I’ll tell you again, you’re in gorgeous shape and you inspire the thinking people out there. There are always going to be some people who just don’t get it, can’t take it, and are just plain shitty. Some people never stop being cruel bullies. But you’re great and it’s clear you’re surrounded by loving and supportive people in you’re every day life. So I envy you – great friends, family, body, career, clothes, home, pets, motivation, strength, drive, taste in music, the list goes on. Merry Christmas!

I’ll keep on reading.

Teresa

P.S. Did you mean that you thought the girls at Lux Spa were “see you next tuesdays” when you wrote that on your blog awhile ago? I went there on your recommendation! Twice!! I did tell them I was there because I read about them on your blog, too. So – your advertising works. Support your local small businesswoman, I say. Unfortunately, they effed up my brows.

Bullies will always be losers which is why theyre bullies.

Thanks teresa that was really nice to receive ima blob it :)

xoxo fight the power

dont hesitate to write anytime, i love to hear from you guys.

rlw

ps. Yes they WERE uppity twats. that was the beginning of the end of my third party blogvertorialing for tha’ city, people irl don’t get what you’re doing and how it will make sense on the web. I had in-growns for days and they had the chatty demeanour of an eastern european servant at the turn of the century. Frosty.

pps. She came back again for more. Amusingish…

i stick by what i said. that is not the first time that scale has made mention on your blog…
ANYWAYS, i feel a little stuck because i don’t think there is anyway for me to state my case without having the opposite effect i hoped for where you are concerned (but realistically should have known better) other than this, you may or may not publish this comment but hopefully you at some point in your blogging ventures could post links to websites like shape of a mother or this is what a real woman looks like, just as i am OR my body gallery dot com. that way your readers (impressionable young female ones, that i will ALWAYS champion over personal platitudes) might have an opportunity to see other representations of weight and height. maybe walk the talk? any way you do you…imma keep doing me. don’t spin doctor my statements – THAT makes you look far worse than a few rolls ever could.

ANYWAYS ISN’T A WORD BY THE WAY. NO S REQUIRED. Would I say By the Ways? Which ways?? How many ways? One way! Moron! Any way, any is already pluralized, it isn’t singular. You sound stupid. Half my friends say anyways and I cringe inside when they do, Teacher says it and he’s a teacher. The Whites are a people of correctors with impeccable grammar skills which is why I am fully allowed to dumb it down as I know the proper way to write sentences, and spell.

Moving on now to my actual comment response to Katia aka “all good” pfft poser more like.

i have no fucking clue what you mean. this is done. boring. over. thank you i have rolls when i am on the ground kicking my leg up and two days before menstruating. this isnt a punk rock body statement on shit, i was accused of lying by you, and i proved that i wasnt. you are an asshole. look in the mirror and accept it, don’t cavort like you are defending little girls who shouldn’t be reading my blog anyway though you act like one. spin doctor? Honey you started that shit by dumping your character assassinations on me. i am the hero who posts raw life here you tried to “bring” me down “a peg” and failed.

I am used to this treatment, sad to say and just when I am at a point in my life where I am cool with my body more or less and like hyper focused on my career, the cut-throat niche market that it is, some giant loser has to dump all over my parade and waste my time? Nah dog I kept it going cos mo hate mo hits. I guess it could be worse, some boring geek could start a debate over I dunno what. There is something about me that triggers people to react, respond, chime in, I definitely should have a Jerry Springer talk show of some sort. Bleh.

Fortunately I am too busy kicking ass and taking names to reply with a burn so good your face would melt off like the Raiders of the Lost ark whichever one his face melts off in at the end by way of terrible cgi but anyway, revenge is a dish best served cold my number one SWF Raymimpersonator once blobbed. Henceforth just wait til January.

At the time these insults were dropped on my blog I was essentially blowin’ Luda in the back of a Maserati. Ha Maserati’s don’t have back seats, idiot! Ok I have to press publish now, enjoy this Katy Perry song I played twice and it was good and grating at the same time, go nuts. I look like Hulk Hogan/his daughter with my tan and platinum long stringy locks. I don’t know who I am anymore! Just j/k lol. Another fan mail from a little raymi after the video break. Oh and they call this fan mail no it has not gone to my eleven year blogging tenure’s inflated head, in Canada you are not allowed to horn toot.

hey raymi,

stupid twitter and its 140 character limit..

anyways, just thought i would touch on something thats a little bit sadder than what we were discussing before (but this convo made me think of it)

if you dont mind im gonna bring up some old shit that isnt my business but i want to tell you what i remembered from the particular post you wrote…

it was sometime after your breakup, i think you were trying to explain/justify why it took place and people were looking for answers that maybe they shouldnt have been looking for…

but you said something that stuck with me to this day..

you said (and this first part might not be verbatim but its close, the second is verbatim)

‘I wasnt healthy, the relationship wasnt healthy. I told myself daily ‘I want to die’ ‘

Even as I write this, that last sentence makes the hair on my neck stand up. To me, that was the most real glimpse i ever caught of Lauren, the Lauren outside of blogging, the IRL Lauren. Everyone knows (hello ****** *****) that constant debbie-downer/negative attitude doesnt get traffic (but you werent saying these things for traffic, you were being the most raw and honest about your personal life as i have ever seen, and ive been reading for half your blog’s life!) but yet you let that one sentence out and it was like a lightbulb for me.

You are a real person with real feelings and you take your pants off at night just like everyone else (maybe a little earlier than everyone else? hehehehe) and for that sentence to come out and make me realize that there is A LOT you hide from the public (whether good or bad) and it made me respect you that much more for having the guts to admit those dark feelings, when normally its all smiles and food and friends.

SO, now that i see you are healthy(er) and happy(er) i am reminded of when you werent so happy, and wonder, is that what people want? for you to be stuck in a rut in a place you dont want to be, unhappy with things but not stupid enough to let on to the general public that you have problems JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?

I am so fucking happy with you right now, you are getting better at your craft and better in your life every day (and thats not me sucking up, if you did something retarded i’d be the first person to tell you, this you know LOL) (besides, what could i ‘suck up’ for? street cred? LOL)

If you dont have time to write a long winded reply back dont worry – i just really wanted to tell you how much that sentence stuck with me, even to this day.

xxoo

Oh man was this ever a moment. Born for the lights!

PSst. Pastel will be unwrapping herself like a gift. Boners for Christmas this year much? We will need a couple dudes from the crowd for lapdance purposes too just saying. Sunday Night! Classic Burlesque Christmas. The Elfettes! o_O Come dressed up if you like, elves, snowflakes, angels, scrooge, and so on. We are going to leave all our discarded lingerie on the jager bottle christmas tree lol, Bunny’s idea. She’s dismantling a Santa Hat for the fluff for our pasties for this dance for for for!!!

Red booty shorts, long red satin gloves too and teeny santa hat headbands GAHH!

Fake snow icicles for the stage just for you, just for you. Raymi made you Christmas!