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Empiraymi

He was so my muse, so playing to my little weird headwreath.

Full Penny Lane now.

Australian too. They’re freaks. Just you and me and Crocodile Dundee.

Total genius.

VIP is the place to be. Everybody watches you and thinks you’re someone and you dress like a someone anyway and encourage that notion. Dancing with other bandaids/ Miami Horror. PARTY.

And who the f- is Raimi? I dunno but I got her drank tix whatsup!

And then I get hit on.

The moment it went down. I liked his accent. Teacher got jeals. Sheldon is posing like raymi. Shawny and his date plus Stew, the total crew.

Knock knock. Who’s there? BLASTICATED. BLASTICATED WHO? BLASTICATED YOU!

I might have an art show about post show beer can piles.

Live shows make me feel alive. It’s going to be a long winter.

This was like rubbing stardust onto my goddamn eyeballs I basically partied with mickey mouse fantasia and you didn’t. Tran and ginger and I have been reply all emailing each other hilarious ridiculous shit all day long and that’s why this post is delayed (plus I was doing a proposal).

Look at him in that hair shirt thing over there. I almost wore the bear coat but was like NO, people will make fun of me LOL then we see a live sushi fish head gymnastical affair.

Everyone in the audience was laughing dancing loving it such a great vibe, thrill, rush.

Weirder and weirder kept happening.

Those girl dancers have couture white fluffy tutu for a shirt and golden crystal full body faces (ballaclavas) it was bananas. See.

Hey I like your hat.

We danced together, I know weird right? It happened.

Dude, your starfish looks like a 420 rally hat.

Omg and this was amazing too.

I could do this I could do this! I want to tour sign up!

It had elements of the fpp too. Black lights, people as that big ghost ghoul goblin ahh so much, something Katamari Damacy-ish too Hahah how lost are you right now Dad?

Roman hats are also hot. I need to buy an actual tickle trunk.

I was front row centre for a live King Kong sacrifice, man behind the curtain at the emerald city and LOST. I was thrown into the sparkle cyclone and a Unicorn was kicked up my nose with rainbows flying out like boogers.

It was hysterical. Who wants to come to the next big weird thing like this? Stew and I were like, to hell with moping at Mitzi’s any night of the week we can just take a cab to the cirque du soleil gratis and be kings up in vip. Then we can roll out our new Raymi as Nardwuar TV SHOW.

Raider’s of the Lost Ark. I can speed reference every single influence to this Masterpiece theatre.

And then the show ends with requisite almost famous penny lane moment. I’ve toured before, have you?

Total girl p0rn.

Uh maybe another night. I’m not thin enough for a crop.

I noticed a few Third Reichy Connotations too. Dictatorships are so hot right now, well in theatre, music, performances. Deities are on pedestals for reasons yeah? What the hell do you think I am sitting on as I type this to you haha.

Writers are personal Gods anyway, they lead monastic lives. I read this.

The new thing is 40 things going on at the same time. Brilliant.

When the flashing strobe light subsided for a second I noticed there was hair EVERYWHERE!

If my brother were here he’d go, “those are dancing Laurens.” to burn me cos of my big nose hahah a-hole.

This is Third Reich to me. I want to build a podium for my next Gulag dance.

Also look what I just found.

So weird.

That scary ghost thing loomed into the crowd then floated away when a person put it on. It was like puppeteer stuff.

Gorgeous crazy fashion. Futuristic. I want to wear a Yak too!

He danced with his fans.

There’s the money shot.

Princess Maid Marion Carnage.

Then more on the homefront.

Diet Coke night.

Jerk Nachos. Melted Brie and smoked gouda, green salsa and siracha.

Teddy Bear picnic-sized. I am going to dance with Goldilocks. HOT right?

I look like I got punched in the eye. Stew said this looked good but that was at 3 in the morning so haha meh.

You look like the bad kid from a Christmas story. That was on my nipple. I should give it to Rob.

We made the wine rack by seconds and I had to go pee so bad. We had an amazing cab driver.

The big clock is so we know when to kick people the hell out. Windows work too.

And these dopes crash on it. I mean, when they’re not too busy puking, crapping with the dog. I just dry-heaved.

OH LOOK! I have decided to crowd surf, cross-dress, french kiss crowd surfers, mosh, take my kurt clothes off down to my skimpy anarchy bikini all while belting smells like teen spirit out at least 5 times in a row. F- UP will be there, Tokyo Police Club! and other notables, its made Pitchfork Media. I got to it first! Come experience this during Nuit Blanche it’s the 20 year anniversary for Nevermind. I will be rick rolling everyone from my neighbourhood/school/life. Last year I went as Courtney for Halloween, I do Kurt better. I’ll wear my docs for protection, high-end chic plaid shirt with cut offs. Maybe a dumpy lingerie negligee. Hair is perfect already.

I am going to full body performance art recreate this. It’s the moment I have played over and over in my head as an Emo little teenager. I bought every Nirvana cassette with garage sale money. People made a rumour that I smoked weed in grade 7 cos I smoked cigarettes (i was uber cool) and carried out grunge to a tee and I still became Valedictorian of that school. Born Leader.

7 thoughts on “Empiraymi

  1. oh i know its called that. i read the feature about the family who invented rooster sauce. americans call it that. i think the nirvana tribute will be historical.

  2. I always thought it was “that red stuff in the squeeze bottle at Edo” so the first time I heard “cock sauce” I had to do a double take.

  3. hey i have two headbands that are new and i recently bought then realized i’d never wear. do you want them? they would go nicely with your hair not mine!

  4. ooooh the headdress on that man is FABBUU. I’m obsessed with the whole look, really–that white eyeshadow! nice photos! Freak Power!

  5. I love that I told you your black-eye look was good. “Go Lauren, you are so Irish ditch wench sheik”
    Also, still haunted by the swordfish mermaids, whose scalps were later used for costume.

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